You press the button.

Dong.

The chest is gone.

You spit the gold coin out of your mouth and look at it, smiling.

Huh. Still there. Fascinating.

Almost as fascinating as the half of a truck that’s in the room now.

Yep. That intern is absolutely being fired after this.

Well, here you have it! The front half of an old rusted red truck!

I know nothing about cars or trucks. Hell, I don’t even have a driver’s license! I don’t recognize the logo thing on the hood of that truck, so I don’t know what brand it is.

...Are they called brands? Do cars and trucks have some different word they use? I don’t know. I also do not care.

Anyways, you look at it. You open the hood and find an engine.

Yep. It’s metal. With, erm, spark plugs and… uhh… a radiator? Aaaand probably some valves? There’s a thing for coolant, right? And, erm, oh! A battery! Engines have batteries, right? Giant square things!

Yes. All those things are there. You see them.

You close the hood, and slide into the driver’s seat. There are keys in the key thingy. Ignition, right? And only two pedals. I know that the third petal would be a clutch, but I honestly have no idea what a clutch is or what it does. I only know that wearing it out is bad.

You turn the key. The truck roars to life! Woo!

You hit the gas, and the motor roars as… as absolutely nothing happens.

Hmm.

You turn the steering wheel, and hear the wheels move.

Ok.

Ah! Then you see the thing that says “4WD” and, presuming that this means “four wheel drive”, activate it! I… I don’t know, is it a button or something? Is it attached to the gear stick thingy? Whatever it is, it is now on.

Ok! Now you press the gas! The truck breaks free of the wall! It jumps, tilts forwards, connects the bumper to the ground, and crashes into the far wall.

Well. That was exciting.

You, erm, you turn the truck off and get out to look at the damage.

Yep. It’s damaged. I don’t think the intern ever expected this thing to be turned on.

The wall it was originally connected to now has lovely truck-shaped gouges in it. Apparently the truck was set into the concrete? Huh.

Oh well. That was… an experience.

You decide to check out what’s in the glove box. Opening it up, you find road maps! Oh wow, who would have ever guessed that there’d be road maps in a glove box!

The maps are of San Francisco, Dallas, Manchester, Tokyo, Darwin, and Otowa.

Interesting selection, but who am I to judge.

There’s also an instruction manual, a dozen old KFC receipts, a handful of napkins from various gas stations, and a mint in a white wrapper that says “Thank You” on it.

It is minty. It gives the gold piece that you stuffed back into your mouth a better flavor.

There isn’t really much else to say about the truck. Er, the half a truck.

Did I mention it is red? No? Oh, sorry, it’s red.

I’m sure if my father were here, instead of me, he’d be able to tell you the make, model, year, and factory of origin of the truck. He’s the type of guy that knows about old cars and trucks. He watches shows where they remodel old trucks and sell them for millions of dollars or whatever.

Meanwhile, I firmly believe that busses are fine, and that public transportation needs to be more widely used. As I mentioned, I do not have a driver’s license, and you could not pay me to get one. As a result, “automobiles” rank slightly lower than “doorknobs” on my list of things that interest me, and I know about as much about both.

Hell, you could probably tell me more about the half of a truck in your room than I ever could tell you.

But anyways. Moving right along…

DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON Yes No