“It hurts…everything hurts…”

I groan out my complaints as I lean heavily on Alana. Stupid. This is what I get for thinking it’s a good idea to try and poke fun at Kierra. Her payback and her desire to meld me led to an especially brutal day. Alana is practically dragging me to the Bronze Dorm as my muscles refuse to carry me.

Things are different this time. The noisy room quiets down as we enter, several eyes going to me. Guess that means word has spread. Saints, gossip is terrifying.

Alana ignores the attention, dropping me off at the table before going to get our food. Once the tray is in front of me, I get a burst of energy and start devouring the food with gusto. My image as a noble is completely tarnished by now, no doubt.

Halfway through the food, I notice the stares. A quick glance around the table shows they’re all watching me. Even Marthe, who tries her best to pretend we don’t exist. Sigh. Whelp, no avoiding it. Swallowing my current mouthful, I turn to Alana and wave. “Go on. I know you want to ask.”

“You’re married to an elf.”

“Not technically a question but yes.”

“How?” Michael asks excitedly. His brother has to pull him back down when the boy almost comes across the table, eyes shining. “When did you meet? Did you go to the elven continent?”

“Nope.” I haven’t admitted going there yet because it keeps Marquis Guiness off my back without outright telling him no. Can’t slip up now to impress a boy. “As for when, about a year now.”

“What does someone like that see in you?” Marthe asks viciously. Sometimes I forget she’s an initiate like us. Can’t see her sitting obediently in their classrooms and jotting down notes. So, she’s been exposed to my wife’s tutelage as well. And from the sound of it, it sounds like she respects her.

“That’s no tone to take with Lady Tome,” Abel snaps. “Show some respect.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did the guy who has insulted me every day since we’ve met just defend me? And did he just call me Lady Tome?

Saints, nobles are so predictable. They could piss on someone one day but at the first sign of possible benefits, they will claim to be the same person’s best friend.

Alana gives him a withering look, also unimpressed with his turnaround. At least he has the shame to avoid her gaze. “I would like to know how the two of you met. It seems so…unlikely.”

“Well, the circumstances were very extraordinary. I was due to come to the Grand Hall last spring. Unfortunately, there was an incident on the road. Some magic went awry and the next thing I know, I’m in the Enchanted Forest of all places.”

“The Enchanted Forest. A long strip of land connecting the human and elven continents. Heavily forested and filled with manabeasts. To this day, it remains uncharted as there are too many dangers and no survey team has managed to return after penetrating too deep into the trees.”

Abel, never missing an opportunity to show off his knowledge. “Yeah. Anyway, I met Kierra while in there. She helped me survive and find my way back. While there, one thing led to another and, tada, marriage.”

A chorus of complaints rises from the table. “You didn’t say anything,” Alana gripes, poking me in the side. I squirm away from her but am too tired to go far. “How did the two of you, erm, court one another? You’re…so different.”

“Ehhh. That’s kind of a long story.” That I can’t tell you. “You’ve seen how she is. On one hand, she’s a violent battle maniac who loves a challenge. On the other, she’s kind and nurturing, especially to the weak. I kind of hit all her points. As for me…”

I smile. I’m making a perverted expression right now, aren’t I? “Who wouldn’t fall for her? She’s gorgeous.” And a lot of other things but I don’t want to get into it. There are other people listening in right now and I don’t want to indulge their curiosity, nosy bastards.

“But why would the two of you…I mean, you’re married but you can’t, um, produce any heirs.”

I look up at her slightly pink cheeks with interest. “Alana, you’re kind of a pervert aren’t you?”

“What? No.”

Heh. She’s also cute when she’s flustered. I want to tease her some more…hmm. Who’s the real pervert here? Spent too long with that elf of mine. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“No!”

“Don’t be shy. I can give you the details—”

“Um!”

I look over at Michael’s older brother. Was his name Gabriel? Wow. This the first time I’ve heard him talk in the week I’ve known him.

He points down at his brother, biting his lip nervously. “Too young.”

“No, I’m not!” Mike protests immediately, looking distinctly annoyed.

“Fourteen.”

“I’m not a kid, brother.”

“No, he’s right.” I raise a hand in apology. Can’t go against the wishes of a guardian. That’s just rude. “My apologies. If you want to know, you’ll have to ask me privately.”

“I don’t want to know!” she huffs. “Though it would have been nice if you’d told me about the two of before I shouted at her. I felt like a fool.”

“But you were so cool, Dame Alana~” I add in a dreamy sigh for effect.

Laughing as she pushes me aside, I notice a hush coming over the room. Doesn’t take long to find the disturbance. Making his way across the room is a younger man that doesn’t fit the surroundings at all. Dressed in fine clothes and exuding pride, a noble is heading for our table.

He’s rather calm to be walking amongst people who clearly dislike him. Striding past the unruly masses wearing an easy smile, he looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Saints, his skin is so shiny. He can’t be an initiate looking that well-groomed.

Abel jumps up as he reaches the table, bowing his head. “Abel greets the young master.”

So, this is one of his owners, eh? Got to give him credit, all his talk about respecting nobility isn’t garbage. I can tell from the straightness of his spine.

“No need for the stiff formalities. Sit down.” Just said there’s no need for formalities but you go right ahead and order him. Like a faithful hound, Abel follows it immediately too. Now this young master is focused on me. “Lady Tome. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Peter Pottoculli, third son of Earl Pottoculli. A pleasure.”

“Likewise.” I reach out a hand to grab the one he extends. To my horror, rather than a handshake, he turns it around and kisses the back. Ew. I feel like a worm just wiggled across my skin but I have to hold back.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing here?” Don’t tell me it’s to visit Abel. You haven’t even looked at him again.

“I wish to extend an invitation to you.” Reaching into a pocket, he extends a golden envelope to me. “Tomorrow afternoon, a few of the acolytes are hosting a small soiree for the new initiates. A meet and greet if you would.”

“Ah, I see.” I don’t want to take it but right before I’m going to refuse, a thought hits me. Geneva knows the face of the one who is conspiring against me. They’re in the Gold Dorm. This may be a good chance to root them out. “Sure.” I take the envelope, putting it in my lap.

“I look forward to your attendance.” He gives me another bow before walking away. Abel doesn’t get a second glance. That devotion may get you an easy life if you’re lucky but he’ll never return that devotion, poor man.

“I didn’t take you for the type,” Alana says, looking at the envelope. Dare I say I detect a little disappointment in her voice?

“Parties are a pain in the ass. I’m not looking forward to it one bit but these things serve a purpose. It’d be far more troublesome to refuse.” And no, I’m not afraid of letting you hear me say that Abel so quit glaring at me like I’m insulting the saints. “I’ll endure for an hour or so before going home and getting drunk on my couch with my wife. Now that’s what I call relaxing.”

My friend smiles softly and shakes her head. “Still can’t get used to that.”

“You want some details after all? We—”

“I said I don’t want to know!”