《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 42: One Cannot Step Twice in the Same River
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With another level beneath my belt and my gear situation figured out, we were ready to go to one of the other islands. I remembered Cailu saying that Ichi was a desert, but I couldn’t recall if he’d mentioned anything about Shi. The last man there was eaten by a dragon, but that didn’t necessarily mean there were dragons on Shi.
The four of us found Portia on the dock, caring and crooning over her sloop like a newborn. You’ll have three of those soon, too, buddy. I pushed the thought of my future kids out of my head.
“How’s sailing, Portia?” I called with a wave.
“Oh, goddess in heaven, never been better!” Portia laughed. She hopped from the deck to the dock and greeted us with a smile. “She steers like a dream. And big enough to keep the damn roaches away.”
“Heh. I have a feeling that it isn’t just the boat that keeps them away,” Ravyn snickered.
“You probably have a point, there. Got a few new weapons in the kit to boot.” Portia stretched her tattooed arms and cracked her neck. “What can I do for my favorite customers?”
“We’re on a quest!” Cannoli announced. Buttons scurried into her hair and took a seat on the top of her head, bobbing his head in time with hers. “We need to find the men on the other islands!”
Portia ran a hand through her cropped hair. “Hmm. Well, ya know where Cailu is. Though his purse is a lot lighter.”
“Right. Not Cailu,” Keke agreed.
“We need to go to Ichi Island and Shi Island. But I’m not sure where to start,” I admitted.
“Ichi’s dangerous as hell. There’s a lotta high-leveled Encroachers and more Defiled there than Nyarlothep, as I heard it.” Portia crossed her arms. “And the desert is a pain to cross without the right Equipment.”
“I went there once. I’m not looking forward to going back,” Ravyn added.
Portia nodded. “Shi Island is, er, well.” She paused and chewed in thought. “Shi Island is strange.”
“Strange how?” I asked.
“It’s pretty harmless, I think. But the girls there, they’re a weird bunch,” Portia said.
“They can’t be much weirder than Ravyn, right?” Keke asked with a dry laugh.
“Hey. Eat shit,” Ravyn snapped.
Portia laughed. “If I had to choose between Ichi and Shi to visit first, I say Shi. It’ll be an overnight ride, but the sloop has plenty o’ room for all of us. We can take turns on watch.”
“That sounds great. We should have enough Bells for the trip.” I dug through my [Cat Pack] and procured a section of the money left over from our Equipment run. We’d made a solid amount off of the four lizard Encroachers as well, so I knew we’d have enough money for inn stays and food. It was nice not scraping the bottom of the damn barrel for Bells.
“Oh, Matt, I can pay my own way. It’s okay!” Cannoli said, also rifling through her pack. “We made lots yesterday!”
“Let me have this one. You guys have done enough for me,” I insisted.
Cannoli beamed. “Alright.”
I paid, and we swapped to [Combat Mode] before boarding. Portia swiftly had us out to sea, and I sat down with the iPaw. I’d thought about where I wanted my points to go before I’d leveled, so it didn’t take much time to throw my Stat point into [Resistance] and the Class Point into [Adrenaline Rush]. After Cannoli’s explanation of [Resistance] and the Defiled’s Enchantment display, anything to resist that bullshit was welcome.
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Afterward, I took a seat on the stern near Portia while the girls relaxed below deck. “Did you have a good time on your own?”
“Saoirse’s tits, yes,” Portia groaned in satisfaction.
I laughed. “Saoirse? Who’s that?”
“The goddess of this world. You didn’t know that?” She wrinkled her eyebrows. “You are a curious one.”
I’d heard plenty of the girls talk about a goddess and a heaven, but it was the first time anyone had said her name. Was there a temple for her somewhere? Was she a ‘manager’ like Leiana? I made a mental note to ask more about her later. “Where’d you go?”
“Made it to San and back in record time. Sailed around Ni for a day. I wanted to warm this baby up and get to know her better.”
“Sounds like a great time.” The word ‘baby’ made me flinch. “Hey, Portia, you said your dad was around for a while, right?”
“That’s right.” She took a seat next to me and dug two bottles free from a nearby bucket filled with ice. Passing one to me, she popped the cap and took a swig.
I accepted the drink and did the same. It was ice cold and refreshing beneath the warm sun. “Does that happen a lot? I mean, dads staying around with their daughters.”
Portia studied me for a time. “No, it doesn’t. I know I was really lucky to have him around for as long as I did.”
I sighed. “How did he manage it?”
After another drink, Portia replied, “From what my mom told me, for most of his daughters, he didn’t. I was the last of his kids, and my mom was his final partner. We had eight great years together.”
“What happened to him?”
She shrugged. “I remember a royal guard coming to the door and calling him away, and he never came home. Mom never told me what happened. She died a few years later.”
Have all of you been alone for so long? “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Portia gestured toward me with her bottle. “I don’t envy you, Matt. The men in this world have a hefty charge on their shoulders.”
“I’m worried about the girls I won’t be there for,” I admitted.
“Don’t be. We’re all more than capable of taking care of little ones. And if there’s trouble, there are plenty of nyannies to help ‘em out.”
Nyannies. Jesus Christ. “I... see.”
Portia clapped me on the back and chuckled. “You’re not a bad guy. Talking with you makes me miss my pops. He would’ve liked you.”
I grinned. “Thanks.”
“Ano sa! How will the watch work later?” Ravyn called from the steps.
“Guess we can figure that out now.” Portia shrugged.
The ride was relaxing, and I’m happy to say there were no roaches on the way to Shi Island. There wasn’t a whole lot of room for five people to sleep, so we took turns on who got two of the beds. At least, that was the intent. What this really meant is that Keke and Cannoli fell into comas while Ravyn ribbed me raw, so I escaped out onto the deck to talk with Portia for most of the ride.
Admittedly though, I was able to get more sleep than I thought I would. And when the morning came, we arrived on the island.
The sloop didn’t need to dock for me to realize what I was looking at. There, just a few dozen meters away, were catgirls. Not just catgirls, though. What I beheld was something many men would have committed murder over.
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“Hey, Portia. You said they were a bit of an odd bunch?”
“Yeah, keep your wits about ya.”
That’s gonna be difficult.
The port was small, under half the size of the Port of Meow. The service, though... Oh, the service.
“Welcome to Shi Island.” A pair of identical twins dressed like French maids curtsied at the bottom of the ramp. “We hope you enjoy your stay!”
Amazing. I give this island a perfect ten.
I shimmied my way through from the back and descended the ramp. Eyes lit up, and mouths hung open as I drew closer. The twin on the left, a beautiful girl whose hair was short and teal in color, elbowed the twin on the right. The wounded catgirl mumbled something back to the perpetrator with a look of irritation, sweeping her long, golden-blonde hair behind her—the only recognizable difference between the two girls.
“Hey there. My name’s Matt,” I said with a brief wave.
Each of the girls awkwardly shifted and fidgeted with their hands, but I was beginning to wonder if I’d get even a peep out of them.
“Hello?” I repeated.
“Just say hi to him,” Ravyn snapped from behind me.
The girls wagged their tails, a visible hue of pink on their cheeks. “Uh, um,” the teal one started.
“Destiny, Lara, stop wasting time and see to it that our guests are taken care of!” boomed a voice from behind them. Another catgirl in maid attire was approaching at a brisk pace, her heels clicking against the stone. She stopped just before running into the girls in front of me, and she bowed at the waist, shooting a nasty glare in their direction. “Your nonsensical fantasies can wait another summer. They have just arrived, and I’m sure they are most exhausted from their venture. Have you even bothered to find out where they are from?”
“N-no, Madam Celestia,” the teal one replied.
Celestia shook her head. “A disgrace, Destiny. An absolute disgrace.”
The blonde catgirl, who I assumed was Lara, slowly began to exit. When her back was completely turned, Celestia grabbed her by the collar without bothering to look at her. “You are not going anywhere, Lara.”
“Oh, come on!” Lara complained.
“Told you they’re weird,” I heard Portia whisper from behind me.
“That’s really not necessary,” I said. “I understand if they were caught off guard by my sudden appearance.”
Celestia adjusted the pince-nez glasses on the bridge of her nose and bore her sharp eyes into mine. It was unnerving, and a little voice inside of me said that this was not a woman whose bad side I’d ever want to see.
“Unacceptable. Your kindness is noted. However, I do not tolerate such timidity and hesitation in my cloister.”
Is this a religion?
Celestia let go of Lara’s collar and spun her around, staring daggers into the poor girl. “I better not witness this again. Man or not, you are expected to uphold your duties to the best of your ability. If you are unable to, then you shall be replaced. Is that understood?”
“Y-yes, Madam Celestia.” Lara was shaking in her boots, and frankly, I couldn’t blame her.
What a hardass.
“Very good.” Celestia drew back and passed looks between them. “The two of you are dismissed for an hour. I expect both of you to practice our mantra while I take care of our guests.”
“Yes, Madam Celestia,” they said in unison.
I watched them as they walked away, and I couldn’t help but feel a lot of empathy. I’d worked under bosses like this before, and gee, she had the same look in her eye as a Safeway manager on a short-staffed Sunday.
“My humblest apologies,” Celestia said once more, bowing. “This sort of reaction is abnormal.” She straightened and held a hand out toward the dock. “If you would allow me, I would show you to the inn and a number of our finest eateries.”
“T-thanks,” I said, tilting my head nervously.
As Celestia began her walk, Keke and Cannoli closed in and flanked me, each of them with their hands on an arm.
“That… was a little weird,” Keke mumbled.
“Maybe we should leave,” Cannoli suggested in a whisper.
“Nah, we got a job to do,” I replied. “Don’t worry, you can depend on me. I’m betting the island is safe with girls like this here. They seem to take their jobs seriously.”
“A little too seriously,” Ravyn said with a raised brow.
After we switched back into [Civilian Mode] at the suggestion of Celestia, she took us on a tour around the town. Portia politely declined, saying she was more than happy to find her own food and sleep on the boat. Save for the catgirls in maid outfits, one of the most noticeable things about the island was how organized everything was.
The dirt roads had the same tufts of grass hanging over the borders from beginning to end, never breaking in pattern, all virtually identical in size. Hedge animals decorated lawns and gardens, and gorgeous arrangements of flowers could be seen from anywhere you looked. Homes were built with gable arches and points, many of them having one, two, sometimes even three hexagonal structures attached to the building. It reminded me of the old Victorian homes I’d ridden my bike past when I was a little kid.
The entire island was exceptional. Shulan and the Port of Meow were spectacular in their own ways, but this was on a whole other level. Shi didn’t have the grandiose or mystery of San Island, but their architecture and grid-like layout of the homes and businesses was close to the level of modern-day Earth.
“They must be loaded,” I murmured.
“I apologize, Master. By what you do mean, ‘loaded?’” Celestia asked as she continued to guide us through the roads and alleyways. I admit I didn’t realize I’d spoken out loud.
“Oh, I-I mean, like… ahem. I’m referring to this city looking very, uh, profitable.” Nice word choice, dude.
Celestia pointed to an alley on her left and continued onward. “If you are referring to whether or not it costs a great deal of Bells to construct our neighborhoods, then no, you would be incorrect.”
“Just exhausting, bone-breaking work,” Ravyn said. I turned around to see Keke and Cannoli had gifted her the same look of astonishment as I was now feeling. “Eck, my feet ache just thinking about it.”
Celestia’s sharp gaze caught Ravyn, and for a moment, I thought she was going to go Terminator on her and pull a laser gun from under her skirt. To my relief, her gaze lasted mere moments.
“From where do you hail?” asked Celestia.
“Oh. I’m from—” I began.
“My apologies, Matt,” Celestia said in a rather strange monotone voice, “but I was referring to the one in red.”
“The one in red,” Ravyn mumbled, pushing her tongue against the inside of her cheek.
Keke gripped Ravyn by the elbow, casting her a glare. “What are you doing?” she whispered as low as she could.
Ravyn shook her arm away. “Name’s Ravyn. I’m from Shulan.”
“The third island,” mused Celestia.
“The very same.”
“Do the orphans still commit theft?”
I really don’t like where this is going.
Ravyn furrowed her brow and lied easily, “Wouldn’t know. Left a long time ago.”
“I see.”
To not only my relief, I’m sure, Celestia arrived at our destination—a smaller home than the other elaborate Victorian estates. The front and center were box-shaped and flanking the sides were two hexagonal towers. A black wrought iron fence surrounded the entire building, and a pair of dragon-shaped hedges flanked the red-brick pathway.
Smaller, but still ridiculously sized.
There’s no way they aren’t loaded. How in the hell do they manage something like this?
“This is where you will be staying if you so choose,” Celestia said, presenting the estate with a half-bow.
“What does it cost?” I asked while reaching for my [Cat Pack].
She shook her hand, glancing over at Ravyn. “For you, Master, no cost. Naturally, that also means that your companions will not be expected to pay anything either. Venicia is a hospitable town. We take care of our own, especially the men.”
I’m so confused. Is this the norm? Have I just been getting the short end of the stick all this time?
“Um, thank you,” I said, putting away my [Cat Pack].
“What’s the catch?” said Ravyn.
Oh my God. Can you not leave well enough alone?
Celestia didn’t hide her glare. But it quickly morphed into a smile. “Why, there is no ‘catch’ in the town of Venicia. We strive to provide great service to our men and their fortunate companions. ‘Service, Grace, Urgency.’” Celestia held up a single finger, reciting the words back as if counting them to herself. “These are the three pillars that we practice and abide by each day.” Her smile widened. “I understand if it is a shock to someone from Shulan. Their greed is reprehensible.”
I could practically hear the teeth grinding in Ravyn’s mouth, and before it could escalate, I raised a hand. “So, uh, where do we eat?”
“Inside. There is a veritable array of fruits and vegetables. Please help yourself and pay no mind to the speed of consumption. If you require further, then you need only ring the Enchanted Bell.”
“Where is this bell?” asked Keke.
“A fine question. You will find many of them. There is one for each room in the house, including the basement and attic. They are silver and rest upon wooden countertops where available.”
“Thank you, Celestia. I think we can take it from here.” I held out my hand, and Celestia shook her hand in refusal.
“Please. This is fine enough.” Celestia curtsied. “Thank you for visiting Shi Island, Venicia, and gracing this humble town with your presence. We wish to serve you again soon.”
With that, Celestia left at a casual pace. I’m sure she had other places to be, so maybe it was just the hustle and bustle of retail and food industries that had instilled that sense in me, but she was awfully slow-paced for an acting head maid. Manager? I don’t know.
“Well, why don’t we get inside and talk about what to do next?” suggested Keke.
“Alright, sounds good,” I said, nodding.
Just as Keke reached for the latch around the gate, she pulled back in a yelp. “Ow, what the heck?”
“Are you okay?” I asked with my hand outstretched.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a weird shock.”
“Static electricity,” I said with a chuckle. Her cheeks turned pink, and I reached for the latch this time. Nothing happened. “Looks like an ordinary latch to me.” I flicked it back and beckoned the girls in behind me. Cannoli was the last to enter, shutting the gate behind her.
The steps leading up to the home were made of varnished wood. Have to say, I was impressed. To my surprise, the door didn’t have any type of lock. I thought this was a little strange since even Ni Island had locks on their doors, and everyone seemed to know everyone there.
Guess it’s just a super safe neighborhood?
I reached for the door handle, and this time it was my turn to be struck by the electricity. My hand jerked back and I whispered, “Ow!”
“Your turn!” Keke said with a laugh.
I laughed with her. But at that moment, a strange sensation came over me. It didn’t feel any different than a regular shock, but the spot around where my ear was pierced throbbed for a split second. I fingered the earring, and Ravyn shot me a suspicious look, clicking her tongue.
With a bit of apprehension in my movement, I went for the handle again and pushed the door open. The inside was just as beautiful as the outside. Wooden floors shined to perfection, white silk drapes, four-panel window panes, and a spiral staircase were the first things I saw.
That is until I saw the catgirl to my right.
“Welcome home, Master!” she said brightly.
Well, this is going to make things a little awkward.

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