《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 40: Rock, Paper, Scissors
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When I got back to Cannoli’s house, the aromas in the air made my mouth water. I hadn’t ever been a huge fan of fish back in my world, but this smelled nothing like the fried fish I remembered.
Ravyn and Keke were sitting at the table with glasses of a dark red liquid that I could only assume were alcoholic. Ball was perched on the sill of the open window, preening his feathers. Ravyn was slicing the pawmegranates while Keke rolled out two circles of dough. They looked up when I came in.
Keke smiled warmly. “Welcome back.”
Damn. I could get used to that.
“What’d the fruit girl want?” Ravyn asked.
Maybe not that. I shrugged. “To get to know me better.”
Ravyn snickered. “Fufufu, is that so?”
“Saphira’s a sweet girl. I’m sure she means what she says,” Keke countered.
“Don’t we all.” Ravyn rolled her eyes.
I changed the subject. “That smells incredible.”
“Doesn’t it? Watch the master at work.” Keke gestured behind her.
Cannoli had entered an Iron Chef mode that I’d never seen before. She had changed into a light blue dress that cut high on her thighs with white brocade and a thick collar—I realized she must have bought it on San Island—and a white apron. Her long hair was pulled back into a bun at the base of her neck and held in place with ornamental chopsticks. Buttons’ head and front legs poked out of a pocket of her apron, watching the food intently while he licked his eye.
“That’s a really cute outfit,” I noted aloud, then blushed. Just blurting out whatever now, huh?
“Isn’t it, though?” Ravyn flashed a sharp smile. “I helped her pick it out in Shulan. It gives bonuses to Cooking.”
Sounds like you picked it out for more than that. I wasn’t sure whether to be thankful to Ravyn or give her an earful. But damn if Cannoli isn’t an eyeful.
Cannoli didn’t respond. Her focus was entirely on the multiple pans she had going over the stove. Sizzling vegetables soared through the air as she tossed one pan before quickly replacing it and flipping glistening fillets with a wooden spatula. That pan went back to the heat, then to a third she added a dash of spice and a shot of clear liquid.
“Anything I can do to help?” I asked the group.
“Here. Sit. You can help us put the pie together,” Keke gestured to a chair across from them and poured a glass of what they were drinking for me. “Have some whiskerberry wine.”
“Thanks.” I was at last beginning to grow numb to the feline naming conventions, though some still did surprise me. The wine was thick and sweet—something I’m sure would be labeled a “bitch drink”—but I enjoyed it all the same. “What about Cannoli?”
“She’s in her trance. Throwing her off could be fatal,” Keke laughed and lowered her voice. “Plus, I think she wants to show off a little.”
“Who am I to stop her, then?” I grabbed a pawmegranate and slowly mirrored slicing it as Ravyn did hers.
The three of us talked about nothing in particular while Cannoli worked, humming and murmuring to herself from time to time. The atmosphere was warm and comfortable. The girls’ laughter mixed with the aromas of dinner and the rose-colored tint of alcohol made for a setting that I wished could continue forever. Just me and my girls, like our own family.
And that kind of inaction in this world brings around girls like Yomi.
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I shivered and blinked away the thought. Fuck, will that ever stop messing with me?
“Matt? You okay?” Keke asked. “You just... kind of stopped moving.”
“Oh, yeah. I’m fine,” I lied. “The wine hit a little harder than I thought.” I covered my feelings with a laugh. “Hey, our pie’s looking pretty damn good!”
Ravyn had cut one of the circles of dough into strips and latticed them across the top, creating an appealing checkered pattern over the red fruits.
“I told you I’d make a pie that doesn’t suck,” Ravyn said.
“We made a pie that doesn’t suck,” Keke corrected.
“Yeah, yeah. You did good.” Ravyn patted Keke on the shoulder and took another sip of wine. “You too, boy.”
“Thanks.” I scratched the back of my neck.
“Dinner’s ready!” Cannoli announced suddenly, startling us all. “Clear the table!”
We pushed the chairs away and picked up our drinks. Ravyn took the pie and slid it into the oven while Cannoli snagged plates and silverware from a high shelf. Cannoli set the table in the space of a few heartbeats, then grabbed the first pan and served four perfect portions of fish filets. Then the second pan. Then the third.
“Violet Rybia du Cannoli is served!” Cannoli beamed and bowed.
The rest of us clapped for her, even Ravyn. If reluctantly. We returned to the table and I poured a glass of wine for Cannoli.
“Thanks, Matt!”
“Cannoli, this looks amazing!” Keke’s eyes were as wide as the plate she was staring at. She picked up her fork and knife and stared at us expectantly, her tail whipping back and forth in anticipation. She inhaled deeply and licked her lips. “I’m so excited.”
Cannoli giggled. “Dig in!”
There was nothing from my previous world that could compare. I wasn’t a food guru by any means, but Cannoli’s dinner was nothing short of perfect. Flakey textures, a harmony of spices, and a mixture of tender and crunchy vegetables that paired perfectly with the fish.
“I’ve never had anything this delicious in my life,” I said to Cannoli.
Cannoli blushed and hid her face behind her glass. “You’re just saying that!”
“No, I mean it. You’re gonna spoil me.”
Keke had inhaled her dish and lulled in her chair with her head leaned back. “So good,” she moaned. “Ugh that was so good.”
“Do you like it, Ravyn?” Cannoli asked.
Ravyn chewed her lip. It was as if I could visibly see her swallowing her first answer. Then her second. “It’s delicious,” she murmured at last.
“What? Really?” Cannoli clapped her hands together.
“Don’t make me repeat myself,” Ravyn snapped. She grimaced, then stabbed her fork into another chunk of onyan. “Yes. It’s delicious.”
“Oh my goodness! Thank you so much!” If Cannoli’s mood were any brighter, she would glow.
“Wow. Cannoli’s cooking really is the cure for everything,” I laughed.
We finished dinner and helped Cannoli clean up. The pie was ready by the time we’d tag-teamed the dishes and Cannoli procured ice-cold milk from her cold storage.
“You can’t have pie without milk!” she exclaimed.
“I couldn’t agree more.”
The pawmagrante’s flavor reminded me of a cross between peach and a strawberry, with the texture closer to an apple. It was sweet and tangy and the crust was fantastic. Cannoli offered a small piece to Buttons while Ravyn did the same for Ball.
We talked and laughed late into the night until Keke’s eyes grew heavy and even Ravyn started yawning.
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“Kuso, it’s a long walk home,” Ravyn groaned.
“U-um,” Cannoli began, her gaze flickering between Keke and me. “I-if Matt wants to stay here tonight, Ravyn could stay with Keke?” Her face burned red and she stared into her lap. “Unless that’s not okay. I’m sorry. That was presumptive of me.”
Keke looked at me and her expression was difficult to read. Like a strained acceptance. “Up to you,” she said.
Ravyn rubbed a hand over her face and groaned, “Mou ii.”
“Yeah, I can stay here.” I nodded. “We’ll meet back up in the morning.”
“Sure thing.” Keke offered an awkward smile. “Have a good night, you two.”
“Get sleep. I don’t want to hear any cranky bullshit in the morning,” Ravyn said, putting Ball on one shoulder.
They left. Cannoli and I were alone.
She moved the pie plates to the sink and returned to the table. She stood next to me, leaning up against me with her palms resting on top. “I hope it’s okay that I asked you to stay.”
“Yeah, of course.” My heart raced. I could smell her perfume and feel the heat of her skin. “Everything alright?”
Cannoli nodded. “Everything’s wonderful, honestly. Tonight was the happiest I’ve felt in a long time.” She toyed with a strand of hair that had fallen free from her bun and over her shoulder. “But I’m really worried about you.”
“Why?” I struggled to decide what to do with my hands, eventually deciding to leave them folded in my lap.
“Please don’t be mad. Keke told me what happened with Yomi.” Cannoli chewed her lower lip. “I can’t imagine how you feel.”
Well, not mad, for starters. “It’s okay that you know.” I struggled to find the words. “I’m alright, I think.”
Cannoli searched my face, then traced my cheek and chin with her fingers. “You always tell me to talk to you. You can talk to me too, you know.”
I chuckled beneath my breath and leaned into her hand. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m not great at the whole talking thing.”
“I noticed.” She smiled, resting her palm against my cheek. “I guess I just want you to trust me. Like you trust Keke and Ravyn. And I,” she paused, then shook her head, “I don’t want to be left behind.”
I rose to my feet, standing parallel to Cannoli with my body on hers. Her eyes widened and stole a quick breath. Our faces were inches from one another and her hand lingered on my chin. “I’ll never leave you behind.”
Cannoli lifted up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against mine. They were just as soft and sweet as they looked, her kiss as gentle a caress as her voice. I circled her waist in my arms and leaned into her, feeling her relax in my embrace. The tip of her tongue danced across my mouth and I parted my lips, letting her take time to explore our kiss before reciprocating. Her tail curled around my lower back, pulling me deeper.
I could hardly breathe. The carnal things I wanted to do with her collided against the desire to simply remain in her embrace. It was warm and welcoming and safe.
Cannoli broke our kiss, both of us rasping for air. She giggled and leaned her head against my chest. “Can I ask something silly?” Her voice was muffled by my shirt.
“You can ask anything.”
“Can we just… cuddle?” She paused, then quickly added, “I mean, kissing is fine, too!” Her gaze lifted and she smiled. “I just really want to be close to you right now.”
The yearning beneath my skin screamed in protest. Cannoli, the master of cock-blocks. But I would never do anything to push or hurt my girls. “Of course.”
Never.
Cannoli’s grin widened. “Thank you.”
I stripped to my boxers and Cannoli changed into an adorable pair of shorts and a tank top. Oh, you are not making this easy. But I kept my word. We cuddled beneath her blankets and kissed deeply until she fell asleep in my arms.
Sleep didn’t come so easily for me. But eventually it found me, and I dreamed of talking violet rybas.
---
“So how far is this place?” I asked as I passed what I was sure was the hundredth rock. Each of them were shaped like little spires, about half the size of my palm. It felt like we were walking between the grooves on the back of some giant kaiju monster. Part of me began to wonder if it was going to start moving and I’d be told to mine the ore off of its back.
“Not much farther,” Espada said. She’d been leading the group for a bit more than an hour now. She guided us south, past the hideout of the dryder and into the mountains. Wasn’t even sure when it became mountains, as many of the paths were surprisingly smooth and easy to traverse. I didn’t recall them looking so smooth back then.
“You come here often?”
“Why, you looking to buy me a drink?” Espada replied. She turned to smile, but my lack of a response seemed to wipe that smile off in an instant. “It’s a joke.”
“I-I know. Just didn’t expect it.”
“Espada knows some great jokes,” Cannoli mused.
“She does?” I said aghast.
Espada sighed, taking out a small brush and painting a red line across one of the many rocks. “Don’t oversell me. Just keep following.”
“As you wish,” Ravyn muttered with malice on her tongue. I was pretty sure Espada didn’t hear it, but Cannoli and I sure did.
“Shh, we don’t wanna tick her off,” I whispered back with a finger to my lips.
Ravyn continued to mutter and grumble colorful words, with some notable ones being “gemstones,” “jewels,” and “bitch,” occasionally escaping her throat.
I tried to push out her vulgarities and focused on keeping my heavy backpack balanced. Espada had insisted on using it in addition to the [Cat Pack]. Apparently ore had a way of overflowing inventories in no time at all, and her bag was specialized for mining.
A pickaxe and a helmet dangled from a couple of straps on the sides of the backpack. But still, it felt weird to be carrying something on my back again. I started to remember why I never cared to hike.
“Wrigglewrots have been here,” Espada said, kneeling down to pinch a bit of dirt between her fingers.
“Wriggle-whats?” I asked.
Cannoli’s eyes widened. “Where? Where!”
“Haven’t seen one of those guys in a long time,” Keke mused.
“Sorry, but what’s a wrigglewrot?” I raised my hand this time, hoping to emphasize my ignorance of this elusive creature.
Cannoli turned to me, positively beaming. “They’re cute little pudgy rock eaters! We don’t get a whole bunch of them on Ni Island, so there might be a nest of them nearby!”
“Should I be worried?”
Cannoli shook her head with enthusiasm. “Harmless as can be!”
“So long as you don’t take their rocks,” Espada reasoned, standing back up. “Just make sure you’re in [Combat Mode]. I don’t wanna have to cart your sorry ass back.”
“Great, rock eaters too,” Ravyn complained in a quiet tone.
Right up there with glue eaters for you, huh?
The path seemed to be widening now. The path was getting steeper and more difficult to navigate. Each of us helped the others up as needed, Cannoli needing just a little more help than Keke or Ravyn.
“Couldn’t pick a better set of shoes to walk in?” I said to Ravyn as I helped her up. “Pretty sure heels are the worst hiking shoes available.”
“Would you hurry the fuck up and just be quiet?”
Someone’s a little more ornery than usual. What gives?
Ball Gag watched from above as I helped his master up. He was being strangely observant, and while I wouldn’t be particularly concerned with anyone else doing it, Ball had done little to prove otherwise that parrots were nothing more than loud nuisances best roasted over a campfire.
“Hello? Help?” Ravyn said.
“Sorry.” I leaned back on my right foot for support and pulled. I realized the moment I did it that I used far too much force. A phys ed teacher from junior high had taught me that I should just go with the flow if I ever fall on my back. Could dislocate my shoulders if I try to stop it with my arms. So my instincts kicked in and I let myself fall. It hurt, but the backpack offered a bit of support—as much support as a nearly empty backpack could offer. Though now I was in a much more difficult position.
Don’t. Move.
Ravyn had fallen on top of me. Looking straight up, there was a sinister, yet adoring squint of eyes from the evil Ball Gag above. I hadn’t realized how tightly I was holding onto Ravyn’s arms until I heard her protest.
She met me with a big smile, not a hint of red or nervousness anywhere to be seen. There was a darkness behind those eyes though. Something more… concerning.
“Matt. Kindly let me go,” she said, unblinking.
Terrified of being roasted alive, my arms sprang away from her body with a speed I’d never managed before. A snapping twig caught my attention and I rocked my head back to see Keke with a rather… thick branch, now snapped in two. Cannoli looked horrified, and Espada looked like she was fighting everything she had not to laugh out loud.
“Thanks for that. Not a scene I’ll soon forget,” Espada said, continuing down the path like nothing even happened.
Ravyn brushed herself off and walked around me in a wide berth, like I was some sort of filth she wanted to avoid. She shot me another smile that was much, much too demure and genteel to have any meaning beyond malevolent.
Keke and Cannoli stood dumbfounded as I rose to my feet. I didn’t need anyone to point it out to know how red my face was.
“Next time, you’re fucking dead.”
You’re welcome for the help.
Good lord, what was it with her statements and facial expressions not matching? I was starting to get creeped out. Ravyn delivered all of it with a wide grin that rivaled Cannoli’s. Yet none of the wonder, none of the light was there. The girls continued onward and I followed a few feet behind in silence.
When we reached the peak, there were pockets and clusters of stones, crystals, and various other gemstones resembling those on Earth. They shone brilliantly, and for a brief time I wondered if this had been an active volcano at some point.
“This doesn’t seem real,” I said aloud.
“Be careful, wrigglewrots will make it a reality,” Espada warned, unsheathing a long, double-edged sword from her waist.
“We’re not going to hurt them, are we?” Cannoli said with her hands clasped together.
“Don’t be a fool! Wrigglewrots or not, any Encroacher is dangerous if you don’t take it seriously.” Espada snapped.
“Espada, wait,” Keke said with her hand held out, “wrigglewrots just want their rocks, right?” Espada nodded. “We could just give them something else to eat.”
“A distraction.”
“Exactly that,” Keke said with a nod.
“Any suggestions? We’d have to mine some first and that costs time and our ore.”
Cannoli proudly procured her frying pan from the [Cat Pack]. “It’s made of metal. Tough metal. They can have my frying pan.”
“Wait,” I said as I gripped Cannoli’s shoulder, “are you sure? You carry that thing everywhere.”
Cannoli turned and looked me in the eye. “Wrigglewrots must be protected.”
I am smitten.
“Alright, alright, but where are they? I don’t see any—”
Just then, one of the clusters of crystals moved, and one yellow orb opened up in the middle, scanning its surroundings. It squinted, shook, and then rolled from one cluster to another a few feet away. We all watched in silence as it moved from one bunch of rocks to the other, eventually unfolding itself to stand on four legs.
It looked… well, not too bright. It tilted its head like a bird, moving its eyes independently like a chameleon’s. The Encroacher had a massive lower jaw, and three pointy white spines stuck out from the, well, lips, I guess. Keeping one of its large, beady eyes on us, it approached a stone that shone as beautifully as the sun. The stone bore a striking resemblance to topaz, and—
And he ate it.
With a force I could only admire, the little dude dug his jaw into the ground and shoveled the horde of stones into his mouth, crunching the gems between its jaws with little effort. Bits and pieces of ore spilled to the ground as he ate. It was like watching a two-year old at the dinner table.
Cannoli hopped from one foot to the other. “I want to get closer. Can we get closer? Please?”
“Well, hold on, just be careful,” Keke said, barring Cannoli with her arm.
“They shouldn’t be too much of a threat,” Espada admitted with a sigh. With her sword still firmly grasped in her hand, she approached the creature with casual steps.”Just bring the frying pan.”
Cannoli crooned and squealed over the wrigglewrots, and time flew by as we worked. Among the ores were a total of four wrigglewrots, each of which rolled their way over to Cannoli, though one had become enamored with Ravyn. I had the distinct feeling though that it had more to do with the giant necklace hanging around her neck and less to do with her as a person.
Espada was kind. Much kinder than the catgirl I recalled when I bought my first piece of gear. She taught me the angles on how to hit ores, how to get the most out of a rock without breaking or shattering it, and what to look for depending on the ore or stone I wanted to mine. I was trash at it, if I’m being honest. Even so, I had a few good rocks to bring back, and I was sure I’d be using this skill a great deal in the future.
Cannoli learned nothing, and although she was short one frying pan, she gained four more friends that day, even if temporary.
Keke guided my hand in ways Espada couldn’t, and Ravyn’s mood improved to the point where she took her time to explain which stones were the most valuable and why.
When my bag was full and the sun was setting, I wiped a sheen of sweat from my forehead and looked on, proud of our accomplishments.
With these girls by my side, I was sure that I could accomplish anything.
And now to survive a date with Saphira.
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