《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 37: Twenty Questions
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“Why is it so bright?” Ravyn moaned.
“Shhh, I can’t hear myself think,” Keke complained.
The four of us sat in the back of an uncovered wagon. Cannoli and I took one bench together while Keke and Ravyn sat beside each other across from us. They incessantly bickered at one another, shifting positions to find any way they could to hide from the sun and reduce the motion of the wagon.
“What’s that you have there, Matt?” Cannoli asked, pointing to the newly acquired sword resting in the corner.
“Oh, that?” I paused, trying to think of how to put it. Cannoli nodded. “A parting gift from the girl last night.”
“Ah,” Cannoli said simply.
Well, this is awkward.
I reached for the sword handle and rested the sheathed blade against my forearm. “A-apparently, it was a family heirloom. Feel a little bad taking it.”
“It might be a stronger weapon than yours though, right?” Cannoli said excitedly.
“Hey!” screeched Ravyn. Her eyes were bloodshot, her lips curled and twitching. “Quiet! People are trying to relax!”
“S-sorry,” Cannoli and I said in unison.
Ravyn relaxed her elbow against the wagon’s side and leaned her face into her palm. “Fucking children,” she said, her voice trailing off into a whisper.
Keke groaned and smacked Ravyn’s leg. “You’re too close. And too loud.”
“Then move,” Ravyn muttered back.
The two continued to argue in low sentences that I could barely pick up. I shook my head and turned back to Cannoli. “Anyways. She said it was a family heirloom. It’s beautiful, I’ll give it that much.”
The scabbard was made of thick leather. I couldn’t tell what the lining was made of, but I had the distinct feeling there was a metal base within the leather covering. Gold outlined the tip of the scabbard where the blade’s point would rest. At least, It looked like gold. I was still learning what ores, metals, and gemstones were available in Nyarlea.
Beads of varying colors and shapes snaked and crisscrossed their way up to the top. Even if I didn’t take the blade into account, the scabbard was remarkable. It was clear a lot of hard work had been put into it.
“Amazing,” Cannoli said with wonder in her eyes. Her thin fingers brushed against the scabbard in such a way that had me thinking she was afraid she might break it if she looked at it the wrong way. She was exceptionally gentle, never fully placing her hand on the scabbard. “What does the blade look like?”
“Well.” I lightly tugged the blade free, the golden-thread tassel at the hilt of the sword swaying as I did so. Yup, that’s a sword. There wasn’t much to it in comparison to the scabbard. Given, I wasn’t an expert on blades or anything, but you didn’t need to be a chef to know when food tasted like crap either. “It looks okay enough.”
“Better than your axe, right?”
“Hmm. Maybe not.”
Cannoli’s frown wasn’t the type of frown that one saw out of disgust or disappointment. It looked more confused if anything, as if she was questioning my intelligence.
“Matt—”
“Hear me out.” I placed the scabbard against the corner of the wagon, taking great care not to make much noise. Those two might be more frightening than any Defiled right now. Afterward, I scooted closer to Cannoli, taking in her scent. For a moment, the sweet smell of her perfume stopped me.
“Matt?”
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“Sorry.” I shook my head. “Couple ways you can test the blade’s sharpness. Gotta be careful, though.” I took my index finger and tapped it against the edge. Cannoli’s fingers curled. I’m sure she was expecting blood. I held the finger in front of her. “See? No blood.”
“So, it’s not sharp then?”
“Well, it could be, but it definitely needs some work if it’s going to be used in a fight. There is another way to test it too, but it’s too reckless.”
“What’s that?”
“Sliding the finger against the edge.” I retrieved the scabbard and replaced the blade. “But I’d prefer to not do that,” I said as I put the sword back into its corner.
“So, what now then? If you can’t fight with it, what do you do? You can’t sell it. That’s her family heirloom.”
Similar moral dilemmas of familiar video games replayed themselves in my mind as I responded. “Nothing. I carry it along, burdened by the inability to ever sell or use the blade.” I sighed. “Maybe I can put it up on my wall if I ever buy a home in Nyarlea.”
And there it will rest. Along with all the other swords passed down for generations.
“A home. That would be nice one day!” Cannoli clapped.
The piercing gaze of Keke’s golden eyes accompanied Ravyn’s violet glare. The girls grunted and growled.
“Ah-ah-hahaha,” Cannoli laughed nervously. “I-I mean, that would be nice one day,” she repeated in a quieter tone.
“Mm, yeah. Maybe one day. Oh, before I forget, did you spend your Stat points?” Holding out my hand, I whispered at a level even quieter than Cannoli’s, “appear, iPaw.”
Cannoli flashed one of her brightest smiles. It was cute. In my mind, I pictured some cat whiskers poking out of her cheeks. “I sure did. Another point of [Vitality].”
I chuckled. “I was going to suggest that.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “As much as I want to protect all of you, the amount of [Health Points] you have make me… well, nervous.”
“I kinda had a feeling,” Cannoli said, the edge of her lip twitching and her brow furrowed. “When you and Keke were talking about your values, I grew a bit nervous myself.”
The iPaw appeared in my hand, and I made my way over to the [Stats] screen to distribute my Stat Point first. “No worries. We have the new armor, too, which should help.”
Cannoli nodded.
I didn’t have to think about it as hard this time. It was a given that [Strength] and [Vitality] were going to be the way to go. I had to admit, though, I was starting to worry about whether my lack of [Agility] or the other Stats would come back to bite me later. As incredible as the idea of throwing around a giant battle axe and protecting my girls sounded, I realized I wasn’t sure where my Class would go after this.
“Hey, Cannoli. Do you know what sort of Classes are available later on? For a [Warrior], I mean.”
“I do not,” she said, shaking her head, “only the ones for [Acolyte] and a couple for [Scout]. Maybe Keke and Ravyn would know more?”
I guess I’ll wait until they’re feeling better. Hate to say it, but maybe I should’ve asked Cailu.
I had another thought. “Do you know what [Resistance] does? I mean, specifically.”
Cannoli tilted her head. “Yes. Well, mostly, I mean. Sturdy is the name of the game with [Resistance]. It grants you defense against all attacks.”
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“Wait, all attacks? So, physical defense and magic defense? What about ailment resistance and status effects?”
“S-sorry, I’m not certain what you mean by the last two.” Cannoli fidgeted with her fingers.
Ah, right. Meta knowledge and all.
“So, let me try this another way then. Meaning, I can take better hits. [Resistance] would help if someone were to punch me?”
Cannoli nodded.
Okay, so far, so good. “Spells won’t hurt me as much?”
“Mhm.” Cannoli nodded again.
“And for ailments—like poisons or stuns—things like that won’t affect me as much?”
“Yes, exactly.”
Maybe [Resistance] wouldn’t be a bad idea.
On paper, that sounded fantastic. However, thoughts of [Resistance] from another game I played came back to mind. In that game, and in most games where this type of Stat existed, it was usually pretty useless and served as bait for players who just didn’t manage their inventories and equipment very well.
Then again, though, this isn’t a video game.
Reasoning that I could always dip into [Resistance] later on if I wanted to, I decided to stay the path that I knew had worked so far and threw my Stat Point into [Strength]. With the press of the button, I felt the effects almost immediately. My muscles tensed and stretched in place—as if the tissues themselves were realigning, folding, and intertwining to make more effective muscles.
“That felt really good.” And I mean, really, really good. Felt like I just got done working out at the gym, and now all of my muscles were happily resting. That sorta feel-good soreness. And then the feeling was gone. But the increased [Strength] remained.
Cannoli rested her hand on my bicep and squeezed slightly. Her eyes widened, and the two of us blushed. “My, my, umm, I-I’m glad that it’s so effective.” Cannoli used the tip of her finger and played with her bottom lip. The vacant stare on her face made me wonder if she was fantasizing.
I coughed, hoping to bring us both back from daydreaming. “S-so, I should probably see my total Stats now, huh?”
“Oh! Yes, yes. Take a look at mine too. I want to know that I’m keeping up.” The smile on her lips and the trust in her eyes were always so uplifting. The shape of her face was demure, and for a brief moment, I pictured taking her to bed next, fantasizing what she could do with that mouth and how incredibly thoughtful—
“Matt? Matt, are you okay?”
I jerked away. Focus, man. “R-right, no, yeah, I am. I’m fine. Sorry. Stats, Stats, Stats.” I scrolled through and started with my layout first.
Matt
COMBAT STATS
Base Level 4
Warrior Class Level 4
Health Points: 26/26
Myana Points: 4/4
Energy: 17/17
Strength: 4
Magic: 1
Vitality: 3
Dexterity: 1
Agility: 1
Resistance: 1
Seeing all of the 1’s made me feel that I was a little too specialized. Though I guess up to this point I’d been mostly successful at what I made out to do—defend my girls. As weird as it felt to look at, I suppose I did always have the option to distribute points to other areas later on.
After all, I still have forty-six more levels to go.
“My [Health Points] are high, my [Strength] is nothing to sneeze at. Well, for my level anyway. I’m certainly no Cailu.”
“Thank the goddess for that,” Cannoli replied. “What does mine look like?”
“Oh, right. Sorry.” It’d been about almost two months since I first landed in Nyarlea. So much of what I’d done up to this point just flew by in a flash and in that time I’d forgotten the girls couldn’t see what was on my screen. “I’ll read it off to you and tell you what I think.” I caught myself. “I mean if you would like my opinion.”
Cannoli frowned. “Of course I would like your opinion. Why would I not?”
I scratched the back of my neck. “Never mind. Alright, here we go.”
Cannoli
COMBAT STATS
Base Level 5
Acolyte Class Level 5
Experience Points: 815/815
Health Points: 15/15
Myana Points: 28/28
Energy: 32/32
Strength: 1
Magic: 5
Vitality: 4
Dexterity: 1
Agility: 1
Resistance: 2
I read off each point on her Stats, unable to hide my surprise when I saw her [Health Point] value. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. [Acolyte] life was rough life. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t one of the types who’d yelled at healers before in games for letting me die, but I wasn’t unaware of their troubles. I knew it was tough. But this? This felt targeted.
After I’d read off each point in Cannoli’s arsenal, the look on her face said everything I needed to know. She was mortified.
“Did you know how many [Health Points] you had?” I asked.
Cannoli played with the tips of her fingers. “Yes. But I thought for sure I’d be closer to yours by now.”
Ah, she really doesn’t realize just how sturdy tank classes can be.
“No, Cannoli, you won’t,” I said in an attempt to hide my laughter. I caught Ravyn opening one eye, and I quickly clammed up, clearing my throat in the politest manner I could manage. “It’s not fair to compare yourself to me.” After realizing how that sounded, I waved my hand frantically in front of her. “Wait. Wait, no. What I meant is, you can’t compare your class, an [Acolyte], to a class like mine, [Warrior]. I don’t need to know anything about Nyarlea to see that I’m very obviously meant to protect and take hits. You aren’t.”
“I know that,” Cannoli said in a pout.
Man, I’m just screwing this up more and more.
“Let’s look at Keke’s Stats,” I stammered. “I think she’s a better point of comparison.”
Keke
COMBAT STATS
Base Level 5
Scout Class Level 5
Experience Points: 831/831
Health Points: 20/20
Myana Points: 12/12
Energy: 34/34
Strength: 3
Magic: 1
Vitality: 2
Dexterity: 4
Agility: 4
Resistance: 1
I was grateful that Keke’s [Health Points] were very close to Cannoli’s—even if Cannoli had spent a couple more points in [Vitality] than Keke had.
“I see,” Cannoli said simply, playing with the locks of hair around her shoulder.
“Does this make you feel a little better?”
“Yes. Thank you, Matt.”
The tone in her voice told me otherwise, but I decided not to push it. During my short time in Nyarlea, I’d learned that managing Cannoli was very much like managing, well, a cat. Too much attention, and she reeled back. So I decided to give her just enough to make her comfortable approaching me later. Cannoli would come to me in her own time if she needed. I had to trust that much of her.
“Don’t mention it. I’m here for you. All of you. We’re a team.”
Ravyn stuck a finger into her mouth and made a gagging noise.
Except maybe you.
After a colorful conversation between Ravyn and the stagecoach, we made our way down the road and into the port. Several catgirls passed whispers and looked between each other as we descended the slope. Judging from the looks on their faces, I had my doubts that it involved anything sexual. It sounded more along the lines of high school gossip.
Oh boy. My favorite.
We spent some time looking for Portia. To our surprise, she wasn’t hanging out in any of the spots we expected her to be. Worry and concern decorated our conversation. Ravyn seemed the most out of sorts about the situation—a rare emotion to see from her.
Eventually, we found Portia tucked away at one of the docks, running back and forth across a much bigger boat than I remembered. “Ship” wasn’t a good word for it, but neither was “boat.”
“What do you call this thing?” I said aloud.
“A sloop!” Portia yelled out; her chest puffed out in pride. She waved us in closer as she bent down to tie a rope around a thick piece of pointed metal. “You all took your time! I got places to be too, you know!”
“Please. The noise,” Ravyn grumbled.
“Why won’t the headache go away?” Keke whined as if on the verge of tears.
“Ara ara, the weakest link reveals herself. I guess we know who won last night,” Ravyn hissed with an undercurrent of malice in her voice.
Ball Gag moved as if he wanted to say something, but Ravyn’s glare had the parrot repositioning on her shoulder multiple times.
Keke’s audibly ground her teeth. “Tell me. Have you always been such a bitch? Or did that take work?”
“Oh, you little rat,” Ravyn whispered back.
“Yes, yes, yes, that’s enough,” Portia said with a clap. The two hungover girls flinched. “If you two want to keep bickering, fine. But you’ll find another person to sail you back. Am I understood?”
“I think the sloop is going to your head,” said Ravyn.
Portia said nothing but raised a single brow.
“Fine,” Ravyn lamented.
“Thank you,” Portia said with a beaming smile. The proud owner of the Port of Meow sloop made room for us, and we welcomed ourselves on board.
“This really is a nice boat,” I said.
“It’s so pretty,” Cannoli said, brushing her hands against the wood.
“Thank you, thank you,” Portia said with a big sigh. “It took a long night of gambling to win this girl.” She pulled out a muddied-up rag and started to wipe and buff away at a small imperfection, her tongue stuck out to the side.
Portia continued to polish and perfect every little inch of her new boat in between our conversations. There was something charming about how involved she was with the care of her new sloop. It felt to me like this was her whole world.
“Learned from your father, right?” I said.
Portia stopped for a second. “Yeah, taught me a lot.”
I smiled. “If he was anything like you said, you’re definitely your father’s daughter.”
Portia turned to look at me, the smile never once fading from her face. “Thanks for the compliment, Matt!”
The ride back to Ni Island was peaceful and much less stressful than the wagon ride back to the Port of Meow. Keke and Ravyn bunkered down below in a small cabin while Cannoli, Portia, and myself all walked around on deck.
I rested my arms against the railing and breathed deep, enjoying the salt in the air and the spray of the ocean against my face. To be honest, I felt a little giddy about returning to Ni Island, proud of what I’d accomplished so far. Even though I’d been gone for less than three weeks, I felt I had much to show for it. The people of Ni Island would be seeing a very different Matt. At least, that’s what I thought.
While we traveled, I made a mental list of things I should get done before we began our search for the other two men. This land at large was not peaceful, and its inhabitants—at least the Encroachers and Defiled—were not kind. If we were to make any sort of progress, we would need plans.
First off, I’d complete my potion quest. Granny Nauka had taken the time out to help me learn [Alchemy]. The least I could do was finish the damn quest. Maybe she’d give me another one, and I could learn a few more recipes. I was grateful that we hadn’t used all of our potions yet. But it was only a matter of time until we would need them. And the ones I made would fall off soon with our [Hit Points] increasing so quickly.
After that, I’ll get a new shield and a new axe. Hopefully, we have enough Bells for both. Maybe Keke and Cannoli could get weapon upgrades too. But, shouldn’t count my chickens before they hatch, I suppose.
Cannoli came to my side and relaxed next to me. Our arms touched, and my face heated up.
“Hey, Matt.”
“Hey, Cannoli. How are you feeling?”
“Okay.” She looked up to the sky, a pensive look on her face. She sighed and then said, “I’m a little bothered about how I’m keeping up. Can we talk for a bit?”
“Of course.”

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