《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 25: Real Men Cook
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The next morning left me feeling very odd. On one hand, I felt like I was on top of the world and full of [Energy]. Keke’s surprise visit the night prior put my entire body on edge. Just thinking about it put my hair on end, and I’d periodically touch my lips and fantasize about it. Well, no, if I’m being honest, my fantasies went well and beyond that of another kiss.
On the other hand, though, I felt as if I could fall unconscious at any moment from lack of sleep. It was difficult to describe—the last time I remembered feeling that way was when I was a kid, and me and my friends had stayed up until the next day playing video games together.
I wondered if my combat abilities would suffer. Ravyn hadn’t mentioned how much longer it’d be until we reached Shulan from Shizen’s farm. Her answer would determine whether I’d be able to perform should we run into the Encroachers or Defiled. Regardless, holding them back was not an option.
Someone knocked on my door.
“Good morning!” came Shizen’s voice. “Breakfast is cooking as we speak! Don’t take too long, my little apprentice!”
“R-right! I’ll be there in just a minute!”
Well, my chance to ask her was fast approaching. We could come up with a plan once I knew. I kicked my legs over the bed, wondering if at any point I had fallen asleep. I ran a hand through my hair, twisting the dyed portion between two of my fingers.
Guess it doesn’t matter. Won’t do any good to think about it.
These robes were damn comfortable, though. Shizen was nothing short of hospitable. In addition to the pouch she’d awarded me with, she was kind enough to gift each of us the robes we’d worn during the week. Shizen was adamant about their effectiveness on recuperating [Energy], and man, did I feel it. Up until last night, every night fell like I’d gotten a full night’s rest, even if all the work we’d put into Harvesting had left me feeling like death.
Because of this, I didn’t mind the slot it took up in my [Cat Pack]. It was about time I went through it and cleaned it up anyway. But I could worry about that once we arrived in Shulan.
After I dressed in my casual clothes, I left the room. As I was shutting the door behind me, I turned around for one last look, thinking back on the memories I’d attained within its walls. I smiled, then shut the door.
“Two days, huh?”
“Yes,” Ravyn said with a nod. She sat at the length of the table to my right, feeding another spoonful of rice into Ball’s mouth. I guess we’re not concerned about him getting fat. “And we really must be going. We’ve overstayed our welcome.”
“Nonsense!” Shizen said, waving her hand through the air. “I haven’t had this much fun in a while! You know… it gets very boring out here.” Shizen eyed Ravyn. “Maybe you could visit more often? Typically that’s what friends do.”
“Oh, haha! You’re such a kidder! You’ve got your hands full. We both know that!” Ravyn laughed it off and patted Shizen’s shoulder with a lot more force than I expected.
“Well, I’ll be upfront. There’s no way I can walk the whole day.” I fed a spoonful of rice into my mouth and passed glances around the girls at the table.
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“You’ve been working hard, Matt! That’s to be expected!” Cannoli beamed from one corner of the table furthest from me. “Don’t push yourself too hard.”
Keke’s gaze from the other corner drifted through all of us. She was a thousand miles away. I wondered if her thoughts aligned with mine. A man can dream, I guess.
“Agreed,” said Shizen across from me. “I’m glad and all that you picked up Harvesting, but take it from a girl who’s done it her whole life. You’ll put yourself and the girls in danger if you push yourself too hard too quick.” Shizen pointed her spoon at me, and her ears wiggled. “Watch yourself, young man. We don’t want to see another burnout.”
I furrowed my brow. “‘Another?’” I don’t remember burning out. “Did I burn out on you?”
“No, not you, dear.” Shizen looked away for a moment. Her facial expression was hard to read, almost a bit like Ai’s. Unlike Ai’s screensaver of emotions, though, she seemed to have an actual thought going through her head.
Shizen glanced at Ravyn and paused, resting her chin on her palm as she shoveled some of her rice into her mouth. Silence surrounded us as she chewed, and Ravyn’s expression grew strangely vacant.
“What happened?” Cannoli asked.
“There was this kid once,” Shizen finally started, “young, spritely thing. Think he was younger—nah, he was definitely younger than you. High spirits, lots of [Energy]. Good stuff going for him. Good kid.” Her gaze wandered. “Very good kid.”
I had a feeling of where this was going. Cannoli’s mouth reshaped into a tiny ‘o’, and her eyes dropped to her bowl. Yeah, this was not my place to ask. “I see. Maybe a story for another time then,” I said in an attempt to change the subject. “I won’t push my luck. Promise.”
Shizen smiled. “Better not! You got girls who depend on you!” Shizen said, standing up and pushing the spoon so close it almost touched my nose.
I smiled back. “Yeah.” I turned to Keke. “Hey, Keke, you’ve been really quiet. You okay?” It took everything I had not to stammer. But I had to put on a good face. I needed to let these girls know that they could depend on me.
“W-what! Yes! Fine! Thank you!” Keke snapped out of her trance, and her spoon bounced against the table. She’d barely touched her food. Maybe she was just as bothered as I was.
“I see the sun’s in full force today.” Beads of sweat collected in every damn crevice on my body.
The axe was beginning to feel just as heavy as it did when I’d first landed in Nyarlea. Shizen’s breakfast helped alleviate that a bit, but I still felt exhausted. Keke’s visit the night prior was beginning to fade from memory, replaced by an urge to take a nap in a nice, air-conditioned room—something I had very much taken for granted in my old world.
I dropped the axe and hunched over with my hands on my knees, turning my head over my shoulder. “Can we stop for a bit?”
“Already?” said the disgusted Ravyn. “We’ve only been walking for an hour.”
“Please,” breathed Keke. Trickles of sweat were dripping down the side of her face.
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“You too?” Ravyn looked at Keke pointedly.
“What a joke, what a joke!” cried Ball.
“Shush,” Ravyn said with a finger to her lips.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Keke retorted through gritted teeth. “It’s not like this has ever happened to me before. Isn’t it usually Matt who runs out early?”
Way to throw me under the bus.
Cannoli came to Keke’s side and placed her hands on Keke’s shoulder. “What’s wrong? This isn’t like you. Is your [Energy] okay?” Cannoli put one of her hands against Keke’s head.
Don’t. Say. Anything. I beg of you.
“I-I just didn’t sleep well. Nightmares,” said Keke. Her face was flush with pink, and whether that was the result of what occurred last night or just the heat, I couldn’t tell you.
Cannoli retracted her hand, tapping her cheek in thought. “No fever. Maybe we really should have stayed another night.”
“Shizen did more than enough for us.” Ravyn crossed her arms with a most disapproving look. Her violet eyes dug into me like a pair of daggers, and I wondered for a moment what I had done wrong this time. “What’s your current [Energy] looking like, Matt?”
“Appear, iPaw.” I raised one of my hands into the air, and the device appeared in my palm. Conveniently enough, it was already displaying my current [Stats].
Matt
Base Level 3
Warrior Class Level 3
Health Points: 22/22
Myana Points: 4/4
Energy: 3/15
Strength: 3
Magic: 1
Vitality: 3
Dexterity: 1
Agility: 1
Resistance: 1
Sure enough, it looked just as I expected. Guess that’s what a night of sleepless fantasizing will do to you.
“What’s this?” I chewed my lip and raised my eyebrows. “I… I’m dying.”
There was a brief moment of pure shock on Ravyn’s face. It was worth the joke just to see it.
I relaxed my face and grinned. “I’m kidding. I’m at 3 [Energy]. Disappear, iPaw.”
“Matt!” came Keke’s hoarse cry.
“Imbecile. Must I take care of all of you?” Ravyn shook her head. “Fine. Ball Gag, listen up.” The bird tilted its head and fluttered its feathers. “Fly high, high above. We need to see what’s around us. See if there’s danger.”
The parrot leapt from Ravyn’s shoulder and soared high into the air. For being such a nuisance, Ball sure was fast when he wanted to be.
“What’s the plan?” asked Cannoli.
“Quiet,” said Ravyn. Touchy today? She continued to watch the bird as it flew higher and higher up. “Good. One moment.” Ravyn sat down in the dirt cross-legged, hands on her knees, and shut her eyes. After a few seconds, she yelled, “[Farsight]!”
A strange sensation washed over me. It felt as if someone had taken a razor and scraped the hair off my body. I felt naked, vulnerable. The instinct to cover myself came and went in a flash. It was like someone had photocopied my insides without warning. I was half expecting to hear the kind of beep when you went through one of those metal detectors.
I watched as Ball flew in circles and figure-eights for some time. Keke stumbled her way over to Ravyn and took a seat beside her, Cannoli spotting her the entire way over. After a minute or two, Ravyn breathed out, and Ball flew back down to perch on her shoulder.
“Nothing dangerous for miles,” Ravyn said, opening her eyes. “There’s a clearing about a mile into the forest to our right,” she said, pointing. “Let’s rest there.”
“Why did that feel so… strange?” Keke shook out her hands.
“You’ll get used to it.” Ravyn shrugged.
Nice explanation.
Cannoli shivered. “I felt, um.” She blushed. “Nevermind.”
I want to change to my next class as soon as possible if I get to do as many things as Ravyn can.
“This will give you a chance to cook with those new spices!” said Cannoli.
“Ah yeah, that’s why we came here anyway. Might not want to have me cook with them, though.” I laughed.
“Have no fear! Chef Cannoli will guide you!” Cannoli smoothed her dress over her legs and gave me a thumbs up.
“Baka. We have no tools to work with,” Ravyn snapped.
There’s more Japanese. Why does she talk like that sometimes? Cannoli’s look of confusion told me that the word was just as strange coming out of Ravyn’s mouth to her just as it was to me.
“He’s not going to learn anything until we get to Shulan,” Ravyn finished.
“That’s where you’re wrong! It’s time we get creative! There’s plenty you can do with a spit, some fire, and a dream if you’d only just try.” Cannoli bore into me with one of the brightest smiles I’d ever seen. It was truly great to see her spirits so high again. “Besides. I made a promise to outcook you.”
“Still on that, huh? Show me then.” Ravyn delivered each word with dripping sarcasm. “Show me what you can do with some fire and a few twigs. And while you’re at it, call every beast within a ten-mile radius to our camp with your little fireworks show.”
“Hmph.” Cannoli balled her hands onto her hips. “I’ll show you, just you watch!”
Careful, Ravyn, we’ve got our own Rosie the Riveter here.
Keke sidled up to Ravyn’s side and rested her head on her lap. “Well aren’t we getting comfortable,” said an irritated Ravyn.
“Shut up and let me rest for a minute.” Deep, dark bags hung under Keke’s eyes. And yet, she looked at me with a wide grin on her face.
Cannoli was an angel. She did all of the gathering for us while Ravyn kept watch over Keke and me. Ravyn had procured a few blankets for us to rest on and laid them out in front of the roaring fire, stocking and maintaining it until Cannoli finished.
When Cannoli returned, it was with plenty of goodies.
Cannoli took to my side and gently rocked my shoulder. “I bring presents! We’ll be a little quiet for now. She’s cranky when she doesn’t sleep.” She giggled at Keke’s snoring, masking the noise with one hand over her lips. “Ready to learn how to cook?”
Exhausted as I was, I sat up with the confidence that this food would be just the thing I needed to get my feet walking again. “Yes, chef.”

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