《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 18: The Cure
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The next morning greeted me with a hangover. Last time I had one of those, I had just been dumped by my girlfriend of three days. Was not a pretty sight. Gotta say, though, drinking here sure did beat the ass out of getting thrown out of a bar like some trash bag. In fact, it seemed the more I drank, the more fun I had—like a damn college fratboy. The College of Nyarlea. Then again, I guess that’s why I was lying flat on my back on the common room floor in Keke’s house.
“I can’t believe you drank that much,” said Keke, shaking her head.
She knelt down beside me and put her palm to my forehead. Her fingers were soft and cool to the touch, and for a moment, it gave me some respite. I melted into her palm.
Her eyes darted around the room as she touched me, a light pink decorating her cheeks. “Well, I don’t feel a fever at least.” She retracted her hand.
I sighed.
“Are you feeling okay, Matt?” asked the wide-eyed Cannoli.
“Yeah, I’m okay… I think.” It’d been a long time since I’d drank this much. There were waves of headaches rolling in and out. My stomach lurched and folded in on itself. There were moments where the room would spin, then snap back into place. I felt like I was inside of a dryer, swishing back and forth while the girls watched from outside.
“What a poor choice of entertainment,” I muttered. This is what I get for challenging Ravyn to a drinking contest.
“Huh?”
“Nothing, Cannoli.” I shook my head—bad idea. Ow, that fucking hurts.
Rubbing at my temples, I thought back to the night prior. To the fun, the games, the now empty [Cat Pack]. Not a single coin remained. The words of last night echoed through my mind. “That’s future Matt’s problem! Let’s drink up!”
I cursed past Matt’s ignorance and looked to my left where Ravyn was tending to a tea kettle. A brimming smile painted her lips, and she tapped at her elbow while she waited for the whistle. There wasn’t a hint of a hangover on her face.
Fine. You can drink me under the table. You win.
Ravyn wore one of those traditional Chinese dresses in black and red. Not that they would know where China was located—I’m sure this was totally normal to them. Golden thread formed embroidered birds in the dark fabric of her dress. It looked a little out of place next to Keke and Cannoli’s nautical stylings. Well, at least she’s making tea for me.
“Your outfit’s a lot different than theirs,” I noted aloud.
“That’s how the girls on San Island dress,” Keke supplied. “Every island is a bit different.”
“Ah.” Guess that explained it well enough.
Ball flapped around outside, occasionally pausing at the window to clean his feathers and shout new vulgar phrases that somehow surprised me more than the last.
I felt awful. Almost awful enough to vomit. There was a certain air of authority and mysticism in the air, though. I felt waited on, adored, and loved—something I was sorely missing in the real world. Well, no, I shouldn’t say that. It was something I missed in my original world. This world was just as real as my old one. The aching in my body made sure to remind me of that.
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“Well, what should we do?” asked Keke.
“Hmm. Appear, iPaw.” The little deliverer of bad news appeared in the palm of my hand. Sure enough, my [Energy] was reading 3 out of 14. “Abysmally low [Energy].”
“That shouldn’t come as a surprise,” Keke sighed.
“So, wait a second.” I scrolled backward until I could see each of our party windows. Sure enough, Keke and Cannoli’s [Energy] stats were considerably higher than mine. “I got to level three, and my [Energy] is still almost a third of what yours and Cannoli’s are.”
“It is?” Cannoli furrowed her brow and looked at Keke.
Keke replied with a shrug.
Ah, right. How would they know? They don’t have a magical iPad packed with a monotone and practically useless AI like I do.
Keke shook her head. “We can’t read it, remember? The iPaw’s magic is beyond our comprehension. Only the men are meant to understand it.”
There was a joke there. I just missed it.
“But I’ve caught up. I’m the same level as you two are now,” I continued.
Keke and Cannoli shook their heads. “No,” corrected Keke, “Cannoli and I are a level above you still.”
I looked back down at the iPaw. Just as I catch up, I’m left in the dust again. “Ah. So you are. Still, though, I have a lot less [Energy] at level 3 than you girls did. Why is that?”
“We’ve lived here all of our lives, Matt. Fishing, Cooking, Crafting; all of that naturally grants you points of [Energy],” Keke explained.
“Don’t forget Swimming!” Cannoli cheered.
Keke giggled. “And Swimming. Really, you’re gaining [Energy] points fairly quickly despite not being here that long.”
That made me feel a little bit better. But it really sucked if the only way to get it back was sleep. “Are there any other ways to regenerate it, then? Sleeping the day away won’t help us get anywhere.”
Keke and Cannoli passed looks. Guess they didn’t know everything after all. I wondered whether I should call upon Ai for ideas.
“Ai—”
“That won’t be necessary, boy,” Ravyn cooed. Accompanying Ravyn’s bedroom voice was the whistle of the kettle. “Cannoli. Be a darling and get this cooked up for him, would you?”
Cannoli frowned and shot a glare at the seductress.
A rare moment of anger from Cannoli!
As Cannoli stood up from her belly-flop position, Ravyn poured tea into a small coffee cup. From where I was sitting, I could tell she was adding a few things to the drink. What though, I couldn’t tell you. For all I knew, cyanide was a rare spice in Nyarlea.
Cannoli passed Ravyn by, sticking her tongue out on the way.
“Here you are, young Matt.” Ravyn knelt in front of me and presented the cup with both hands. “Should help you feel better.”
“T-thanks.” I was already uneasy about her joining our group, especially after our first encounter. My eyes would occasionally drift to her exceptionally, uh, female features. Then Keke or Cannoli would flash a glare, and I would bow my head.
I shuffled to a sitting position and set the iPaw down beside me. As I was about to take a sip of the tea, a sound caught my attention. But it wasn’t just any sound. It was the sound of sizzling meat. My gaze snapped toward its origin, and Ravyn shook a finger at me.
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“Not yet, young man. You need to learn patience.”
“Something we can actually agree on,” said Keke.
“Fine. So, spill it. You’re just filled with knowledge, aren’t you?” I returned my attention to the tea, taking a slow sip while I cast a suspicious eye at our newest party member.
“Yes. And these girls are too. Even if they don’t realize it.”
Keke opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it with a sidelong glance from Ravyn.
“Finish your tea,” Ravyn commanded.
“I am.” I took a bigger gulp this time. It was warm, soothing, not scalding to the touch like my grandmother’s tea. There was a hint of sweetness. Was that honey I was tasting? As the liquid traveled down my throat and into my stomach, a pleasant sensation enveloped me. My headache was far from gone, but I swore the tea eased the pain somewhat. “That’s pretty nice. What’s in it?”
Ravyn shook her head. “Does it matter? It won’t kill you if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“He knows better than that,” Keke spat.
I really don’t, though?
I downed more of the drink. Now my joints were beginning to ease up. My muscles weren’t as tense. Felt a little like I was just given a muscle relaxant.
“Take a look at your [Energy].” Ravyn smiled.
I whisked up the iPaw beside me. All numbers were still the same. It didn’t look like anything changed. Well, there was one strange thing.
“My [Energy] numbers are glowing?”
“Ara ara, so that’s how you can tell,” Ravyn said with a finger to her chin. “Finish your tea.”
Keke watched with minor interest as I swallowed the remainder of my tea. With each gulp, I could feel renewed strength, my limbs felt lighter, my headache was easing up. The bubbling and sizzling of breakfast was music to my ears.
As I killed the last drops, I set the cup down and looked over to where the iPaw was resting. I was thrilled to see that my [Energy] had updated. “5 out of 14!” I sat back up with a dumb toothy grin.
Ravyn smiled, and Keke’s mouth hung open. Cannoli looked absolutely horrified, which, might I add was a look I hadn’t seen just yet.
“Now,” Ravyn said, clapping her hands together, “it may come as a surprise, but sleeping is not the only way to regenerate [Energy].” Ravyn’s stare veered. “Almost done, Cannoli?”
“Yes,” came a mumble.
“What was that?” I looked down at my hands, curling my fingers over and over. The headache had dulled to a minor throb, and the world had finally quit spinning.
“Chun Meow tea.”
I frowned. “I see.” Thanks for the explanation.
“It’s very acidic. Good for flushing out toxins. It also doubles, nay, triples as not only an [Energy] booster but an aphrodisiac as well.” Ravyn winked, and my muscles tensed, my face growing red-hot. “That last one was a lie.”
“A-ah. Right. Of course it is.”
“So trusting. That’s endearing.”
“Could you please not prey on him?” said a stern Keke.
“Ah yes, he’s reserved for you, isn’t he?”
“I-I-I didn’t say that!” Keke balled her fists at her sides, her face flush. “D-don’t go saying unnecessary things!”
“Matt said no such thing,” came the hiss of Cannoli.
“My, my, so defensive.” Ravyn smiled, never taking her eyes off of me.
It was intimidating if I’m being honest. As awesome as it was to have three girls playfully arguing over me—or at least I hope it was playful—it wasn’t how I’d imagined a situation like this going. I squirmed and wriggled, unsure of what I should say next. I was afraid of getting yelled at, thrown out, or fed to a Defiled if I misstepped.
Ravyn crossed her arms over her chest. “For as kind as you are to Matt, you two sure are selfish.”
The clang of a utensil against a pot rang through the air. Keke and Ravyn’s ears bowed low from the noise.
“Oh. Sorry,” Cannoli muttered.
There was silence. I had forgotten about the meal Cannoli had been cooking. That is, until she brought it to me with a glint in her eye and a smile that would warm the coldest of hearts.
“Here you go, Matt.” The vitriol from moments before disappeared without a trace. Scary.
“Thank you, Cannoli. Seriously.” I took the plate away with a smile and wasted no time in chowing down. Describing it was difficult. It tasted like a steak. It had the texture of a steak. But there was something different. Something new. “What’s in it?”
Cannoli glanced at Ravyn. Ravyn didn’t seem to notice. “A few special herbs I put into the meat. Do you like it?”
“I love it!”
“Great! It should give you even more [Energy] than the tea did!” Cannoli said, clasping her hands together.
With the last bite of steak in my mouth, I chewed as I leaned over to see the iPaw. “Mmff!”
“So excited,” Ravyn giggled.
I swallowed. “I’ve got 11 out of 14 [Energy] now! Oh my God, I can do things again!”
“And how are you feeling?”
Now that Ravyn asked… “My headache is gone. My limbs feel great. Stomach is still a little weak. But I’m feeling better. What did you do?”
“Not me,” Ravyn said, shaking her head. “Cannoli. I just provided the spices, which you need to create [Energy] food. Cooked food without the spices won’t cut it if you want to do more than flail around and pass out.”
“I don’t recall him asking your opinion,” spat Keke.
“I wasn’t talking to you.” Ravyn’s grin faded. “Not much of a man if his girls keep speaking for him, now is he?”
And the silence is back.
“Please stop!” Cannoli cried out. “Just stop. He needs [Energy] food then, right? I can cook. I can outcook you even,” she said, pointing to Ravyn. “Just give me more of those spices! I’ll pay for them!”
“I don’t have any more—that was the last of my stores. We’d need to travel to San Island.”
“Fine, then. We’re going to San Island. We’ll head to the port and get Matt the [Energy] he needs.”
I raised my hand. “Wait.”
“No!” cried the girls in unison.

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