《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 13: Bad Seed Rising
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After a silent trek back to Keke’s house and unceremonious dumping of my [Cat Pack], we marched back through the town. With each pass through the market district, the whispers between the other girls seemed more, well, catty. Cannoli kept her chin tucked to her chest, and Keke returned the comments with piercing glares. I wasn’t sure where my place was on the food chain yet, so I kept my eyes focused forward.
They led me to an open field with tall, golden grass that danced in the breeze. Each stalk came up to my shoulder and blossomed into a soft, dark, rectangular extension. The field went on as far as the eye could see.
“Are these the ‘Cat’s Paws’?” I asked, fingering the fluffy top on one of the blades. I mean, it looked like a cat’s tail, but who was I to judge?
“No,” Keke said.
Of course not.
“Um, these might be a little harder to get than nyapples,” Cannoli murmured.
Uh oh. “Harder how?”
“Cat’s paws come from palm civets,” Keke explained.
I scratched my neck. Just once, I would have killed for anyone to explain a Nyarlean concept as if I were new to the island. Just once. “Are those roaches?”
“Kind of?” Cannoli replied.
“Kind of,” I repeated. “Okay.”
“No one is entirely sure of where they came from. The story is that one catgirl a few hundred years ago who practiced magic and alchemy attempted to create a homunculus. Instead, she created palm civets,” Keke shrugged. “It’s a rumor, but once you see them, it will make sense.”
My curiosity piqued. “So, where are they, then?”
“They dig their burrows between the cattails. These.” Keke pointed at the plant still in my fingers.
Well, at least I sort of guessed it correctly. “Wait, ‘burrows’?”
“Yes. Palm civets dig tunnels underground.” Cannoli idly ran her fingers through her hair.
“How do we get them out of the burrows?”
“We have to sing,” Keke said.
Her face was dead serious, but I was sure she was joking. I so desperately wanted her to be joking. She was joking, right? “No way.”
Keke looked surprised. “‘No way,’ what?”
“No way. I’m not singing.” I am not a Disney princess, ladies. That’s not how this works. “There has to be another way.”
“Anything else scares them, and they don’t come out of the tunnels.” Cannoli swung her arms behind her back and leaned forward, staring at me with those big ruby eyes. “Won’t you sing with us, Matt?”
“You’re joking. Can’t we just dump poisonous gas down the tunnels or something?”
Horror twisted Cannoli’s features, and I immediately regretted my suggestion.
“That would kill all the other little animals in there.” Cannoli leaned back and balled her fists at her mouth. “Why would you want to do that?”
I forced an awkward laugh and ran a hand through my hair. “Ha! Of course, I would never do that. I’m just a big joker!” Who am I kidding? I’d commit critter genocide if it meant not singing in front of these girls. “Alright, could you sing for me? And I’ll catch them?”
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“You’re the one that wants to be an Alchemist. Besides, we already got the nyapples for you,” Keke said, crossing her arms.
Ouch. Getting carried by catgirls. My shoulder slumped. “You’re really gonna make me do this? Your pretty ears will bleed.”
“Nonsense!” Cannoli’s face brightened. “I’m sure you have a great voice!”
A voice not even a showerhead would want to hear. I sighed. “And what do I do, exactly, when these palm civets appear?”
“It’s easy!” Cannoli clapped her hands and then knelt down, pantomiming whatever it was she would have me do. “You scritch behind their ears like this, and they’ll drop a cat’s paw for you!” She scratched the air with her fingers, fairly close to the ground.
Wow, they’re really small, then. “That’s it?”
“That’s it!” Cannoli said brightly.
But I have to sing, I grimaced. “Can I pick the song? Any song?”
“No. They only like one song. Everyone thinks it’s the song the catgirl who made them would sing. It’s been passed down from catgirl to kitten for years,” Keke set her hands on her hips. “Cannoli, you have a better voice than I do. You sing it.”
“Okay!” Cannoli looked as if she was about to burst from excitement. She danced from tiptoe to tiptoe and turned her mouth to the heavens. “Arise, my dearests, from the earth, so I may show to you my love. You may never know your worth, but it’s you I’m always dreaming of.”
Cannoli’s voice was pure and lovely like the chiming of a bell. I stood and listened with rapt attention from her first note.
But that shit was going to sound so lame coming out of my clumsy mouth.
“It’s pretty short. Do you need her to sing it again?” Keke asked.
“No, I think I got it.” The grass before us quivered then parted. A timid, kitten-shaped anomaly about the size of a guinea pig padded forward toward Cannoli on stumpy legs. Its body was entirely made up of wrapped palm fronds—like a palm tree woke up one morning and thought, “Today, I’ll grow a cat.” It had a distinct head, body, and limbs but no facial features whatsoever.
“Oh! Hello!” Cannoli beamed and knelt down, just as she had done moments before.
The palm civet approached her with cautious steps, and she waited patiently for it to pause at her knee. She scratched it behind the ear, and it leaned into her fingers. When it was satisfied, it raised one leg and twitched it back and forth until a spherical, marble-sized object fell to the ground.
“Thank you!” Cannoli picked it up, and the palm civet ambled back into the cattails. “There! Got one!” She thrust her hand to my chest, the marble in the middle of her palm. It was the same green color as the civet, with a miniature paw print at its center.
“What do Alchemists do with marbles?” I asked.
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Keke raised an eyebrow. “It melts into a potent liquid at fairly low temperatures.”
“You know Alchemy?”
Keke flinched. “A-a little bit.”
I remembered what Cannoli had said about Keke’s relationship with Granny Nauka. Maybe this wasn’t the best time. I changed the subject. “So, one down, right?”
“Ah-ah-ah!” Cannoli pulled her hand back and wiggled a finger at me with a wry smile. “You have to get these, remember?”
Damn. Welp, I tried. “Oh. Right.”
“Let’s get started, then,” Keke said, pushing through the cattails and leading the way. We barely made it ten steps before she stopped. “Here.”
“Alright, Matt. Go ahead,” Cannoli encouraged.
I coughed and cleared my throat. God, why? “Alright, erm.” Embarrassment preemptively wracked my nerves, and my face was already warm. “Arise, my dearests, from the dirt—” my voice cracked, and I cringed.
“‘Earth,’ not ‘dirt,” Keke corrected. The beginnings of a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Start over.”
“Right. Arise, my dearests, from the earth, so I may show to you my love. You may never know your worth, but it’s you I’m always dreaming of.” Shit, can I crawl into the dirt now, please?
“That wasn’t so bad!” Cannoli said. But her teeth were clenched and one eye was narrowed.
I sighed. There was a reason why I never had the mic on Rock Band.
We waited. Nothing came out of the hole.
“See, even the palm civets hate my sing—”
The little green head poked from the hole before I could finish my sentence. It climbed free from the ground and waddled to my toe.
“Scritch it, Matt!” Cannoli whispered.
I knelt and scratched it behind the ear. It was exactly how I imagined scratching a palm tree would feel like. But even I had to admit, the thing was pretty damn cute. It bobbed its head in approval and shook its front foot, releasing the tiny cat’s paw onto the ground. I picked it up and tossed it into my [Cat Pack].
Matt has gained: Cat’s Paw x1!
Quest Updated!
[Alchemy Test: A Green Thumb]
Red Nyapple 5/5
Cat’s Paw 1/5
“Would you believe me if I said I’d rather have Keke shoot me again than sing four more times?” I asked.
“I feel the same way,” Keke said.
“Keke!” Cannoli squealed.
“Damn. Okay,” I laughed. “You sure you don’t want to sing instead?”
“I’m sure.” Keke grinned. “Practice makes perfect, right?”
As much as I despised showcasing my awful singing voice in front of two gorgeous catgirls, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t one of the best afternoons I’d had in a long time.
Once we were finished, we headed back to Granny Nauka’s shop. Keke retook her post, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms while Cannoli and I completed the Quest. Most of the girls had cleared out by the time we were done, but Granny perched in a rocking chair at the back of the shop, drinking a bright pink liquid from a flask.
“Sampling your own tonics, Granny?” I asked.
Granny Nauka cackled and hoisted herself up from the chair. “You get a hankerin’ for the harder stuff when you’re my age, sonny. Did you bring what I asked for?”
I poured the contents of the [Cat Pack] onto the table. “Five nyapples, five cat’s paws. What can you make with these, anyway?”
Granny Nauka picked up one of the nyapples and inspected it closely. “Nyapple pie,” she said.
I gaped. Cannoli giggled behind her hand. “I thought I was learning Alchemy?”
Granny Nauka’s stare pierced me through her glasses. “I said I’d teach you Alchemy, boy, and I will. What I do with these is none of your business.” She returned the nyapple to the table and handed me a scroll. “Here’s your first recipe. You can buy the ingredients from me or go get them yourself.”
Finally, an Alchemy recipe! I unrolled the scroll and skimmed the ingredients and resulting concoction.
Minor Healing Potion
Regenerate 1 [Health Points] every 2 seconds for 10 seconds
Ingredients:
2 Cat’s Paws 2 Silver Whiskers 1 Glass Bottle
That was it? 5 HP over 10 seconds? I stuffed the scroll in my [Cat Pack], sensing that my iPaw had updated the information. It’s something, I guess. “Um. May I have those cat’s paws back?” I asked, pointing to the marbles on the table.
Granny Nauka awarded me with a toothy grin. “Sure. They’re one Bell a piece.”
I set my jaw, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of my frustration. “Guess I’ll be singing in the fields again.”
“Oh, Matt. We can help you!” Cannoli said. “You did so good!”
Bless you, Cannoli. “Thank you, Granny Nauka.”
“My pleasure, sonny. When you successfully create ten of those potions, let me know. I’ll give you a new recipe.” She killed off her flask and stuffed the nyapples and cat’s paws into her [Cat Pack]. “Those Glass Bottles will be waiting for you here when you’re ready to craft.”
Successfully, huh? Better collect extra mats. I turned to Cannoli, realizing how much of an appetite I’d built up. “Let’s go get some dinner then, hm?”
“Alright!”
We collected Keke and made meal plans. Okay. Alchemy unlocked. What’s next?
New Notifications!

[ A Green Thumb ] complete!
Matt has learned: [Alchemy]!
Matt has gained: 20 XP!
Matt has learned a new [Alchemy] recipe!
Knowledge: Alchemy Unlocked!
Matt has gained: 2 Knowledge [Alchemy]!

New Quest!
[ Novice Potions ]
Show me 10 successful [Minor Healing Potions] and I’ll give you an even better recipe, sonny!
Rewards:
New Potion Recipe Improved Knowledge [Alchemy] 5 Glass Bottles

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