《Give me my lily pad back.》Committee Commiserations
Advertisement
After much debate, a little discussion, a lot of humming and hawing, and more Honourable Ladies and Right Honourable gentlemen (Nobody explained to Mibbet, no matter how much she asked why ladies couldn’t be right honourable, but instead had to settle for plain old honourable.) The decision was reached to convene a council immediately after. (At the thought of yet more meetings Mibbet eyed the window longingly, with the same desperation as a wolf with its leg in a trap, but DIY amputation of the toothy variety really wouldn’t work here. “besides” Rosalind commented drily, “they’d just wheel you back in and you’d be less able to run from the next one.”
That made sense to Mibbet, who resigned herself to her fate (because she wasn’t allowed to resign to escape it mostly.)
As the half zombified members of parliament (given the age of the average MP it would not surprise her in the least if that description was completely accurate,) shambled out of the hall King Ethelred pulled Prime Minister Strike to one side.
“Told you, now pay up”.
With a groan the prime minister dug deep into his personal coffers (not to be confused with the parliamentary coffers no matter what certain members of parliament may tell you.) Reluctantly handing over the winnings. (Extremely reluctantly, it was a running joke in the kingdom that copper wire was first invented by him and the finance minister fighting over a penny.) But a bet was a bet, and he had lost fair and square. He really hated to lose too, far too little practice.
So in a supreme act of pettiness he turned to Ethelred. “Your daughter showed real skill in there, she should sit in on the council too.” He was stuck sitting in on this meeting, and out of pocket to boot. He sure as hell wasn’t going to suffer alone.
Advertisement
Despite her misfortune Mibbet was happy to attend this meeting (especially when the word coffee was mentioned, that particular perk really perked her up.) She took a seat as close to the door as possible, she wanted the option to flee even if there was no way she could possibly take it without more drama. Just then a maid quickly poured her a cup of the divine brew, and the meeting began.
Once long ago humans had decided they needed a way to do not a lot by seeming to do lots. They had had a meeting to discuss it, and then when that meeting stalled they called in more people and did it all over again. By the time the fourth such meeting had passed. Which consisted mostly of people grumbling about how nothing useful at all had happened in the previous three.) Somebody finally thought of those beautiful billable hours, and the devil himself grinned in glee, as the ultimate evil, the committee, was born.
Somehow despite this council convening years after that ill fated meeting , and in defiance of all logistics, this meeting was proving to be the grand daddy of all committee meets.
So far they had agreed the type of ginger snaps to bring to the next meeting (a highly controversial issue apparently, leading to 20 minutes of debate on the alternative options, with each member determined their particular brand of biscuit, cookie, macaroon, and even *gasp* meringue, was a hill they were ready, willing, able, and even determined to die on. Before a brave soul dared suggest the ultimate solution, to the shock of all assembled, a selection tin.)Then they decided that the previous meetings recorder had not kept accurate records, and nominated multiple candidates, and held an election for the new recorder. After some heated discussion on the fact that at least one member wasn’t there, so it wasn’t a real and binding vote, they’d have to come back to it later.
Advertisement
Mibbet meanwhile was considering the gnawability of her limbs, and eyeing the exit with a deep longing usually reserved for lead characters in romance novels to cast at the biggest jerk in the room. She desperately swigged her coffee, only to taste the greatest betrayal mankind had ever devised. “decaf” Rosalind grumbled, as somewhere deep inside Mibbets froggy brain something went SNAP.
“That hopping does it” she roared. “How many different ways can you think of to do nothing about a DROUGHT? You have a literal emergency, and here you are dithering over the flavour of biscuits, and who writes what down? So let’s make this simple, I’m chairing this meeting, want to argue? Fine, first puddle-spawner to try to debate it will need surgery to remove said chair from a place I’m fairly sure you’ve all been polishing benches with for the past few decades.”
Mrs Beaton of course rose to object, only to be met with a full powered glare of froggy fury that would make librarians reconsider their tactics, and heavily suggested she knew their full name (yes even the middle one) and would not hesitate to use it. So for the first time in her life Mrs Beaton found herself.... defeated, and sat down with Nary a grumble.
Next came Mr Mustard, a retired Colonel who had quite a thing for Mrs Beaton (and definitely for her cooking, and to be fair Mrs Beatons cream puffs were magnificent.) He rose to his feet, summoning all the harrumph, hmph, and all round blowhardery he was able to invoke, and prepared his best attack.
“Now see here my good woman.”
Mibbet didn’t even need to tackle that one, instead she unleashed the full power of a weaponized Rosalind.
“Oh begging your pardon sir, I was quite aware I was a good woman, but last time I checked I was not yours, was not betrothed or bonded to you, and most importantly was not and never will be the property of any man no matter what he may have to say to the contrary. Now sit down and be silent unless you are lending your particular expertise to the field of civic engineering, architecture, irrigation, hell even offering sacrifices to the great rain god Wannashowa would be more productive than what you just wasted hours of my life doing, and given that I just made him up that’s saying something. now SOMEBODY GET SOME REAL GODSDAMNED COFFEE IN HERE, OFFER ME DECAF AGAIN AND I’LL PUT YOU 6 FEET IN THE GROUNDS.”
After that silence had fallen, and could not get up. Rosalind took a deep breath and passed the reins back to Mibbet. It was time to see what she could do.
Advertisement
- In Serial1363 Chapters
VRMMO: The Unrivaled
Lu Chen used to be a ranker of the most popular VRMMO game, Spirit of Grief. After a car accident turned his dreams into dust, his disability left him incapable of escaping the pit of mediocrity he was thrown into. Helpless and defeated, his story ended.Two years later, the Eternal Moon Corporation launched a new VRMMO called "Heavenblessed", and Lu Chen stumbled into another terrible accident that left him in a complicated situation far beyond his ability to handle. That won't stop him from rising to the top, however. Not again.Come witness the rise of the sword-wielding zombie and the relationships he makes during his journey to the apex! For riches and bi- ahem, for career and love!He wields a demonic sword from Hell, he dons armor shining with Heaven's light. His boots stride across the sky as his helmet devours the souls of his enemies. On his left side sits the Goddess of Death. On the other, the Angel of Beauty.From the land of ice and death, a generation of Asura Kings rises, their roars reverberating throughout the world.Tremble in fear, noobs!
8 8158 - In Serial1353 Chapters
Refining the Mountains and Rivers
A young man's life changes when he stumbles upon a mysterious item. Qin Yu had never been a lucky person. Weak of body, bullied by his peers, and with only his friend as his family, he struggles day-by-day to live. But everything changes when he stumbles upon a little blue lamp. An immortal and demonic cultivating adventure.
8 3346 - In Serial2455 Chapters
Mortal Cultivation Biography
A poor and ordinary boy from a village joins a minor sect in Jiang Hu and becomes an Unofficial Disciple by chance. How will Han Li, a commoner by birth, establish a foothold for himself in in his sect? With his mediocre aptitude, he must successfully traverse the treacherous path of cultivation and avoid the notice of those who may do him harm. This is a story of an ordinary mortal who, against all odds, clashes with devilish demons and ancient celestials in order to find his own path towards immortality.
8 1057 - In Serial1503 Chapters
Dragon Prince Yuan
Destiny stolen at birth, the prince of the once mighty Great Zhou Empire, Zhou Yuan, has been plagued all his life by a fatal poison, forced to suffer powerlessly until one day when fate draws him into a mysterious domain where he meets a beautiful girl in green, a bizarre dog-like creature and an unfathomable old man in black.Join Zhou Yuan as he is thrust into the whirlpool of destiny while he seeks the pinnacle of cultivation.
8 1060 - In Serial677 Chapters
Ranker's Return
In the early days of the virtual reality game, Arena, meleegod was the strongest ranked player! He deleted his character and suddenly left. In order to restore his bankrupt family, he returned to Arena!"Do you want to create a character?"
8 1719 - In Serial1525 Chapters
Monarch of Evernight
Qianye rose from hardship but was felled by betrayal. From then, one man, one gun; he tread the path between Evernight and Daybreak and became a legend. Even if Evernight was destined to be his fate, he still intends to become the ruler who dictates.
8 22867

