《I'm a brick! But why am I a Humanoid? [A Non-Level LitRPG with a Humanoid MC full of Magic, Drama and Comedic Undertone]》Chapter3-Why interrogating a baby should involve better magic diapers
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Praetor Narvin
A brick. The world ending, chaos bringing, panic-inducing transmigrater was a brick. Talk about shocking. Then again, I was a wolf before transmigrating, Quallos was some kind of sentient amphibian. Only Donald came from a species that he called 'humanoid'.
"Thankfully for you, I am more mild tempered. So..brick tell me who were you in your last life?" I asked now genuinely curious about how a society of bricks lived.
"Didn't I already say? You have the honor of being in the presence of one of the most central bricks in the entire palace! I have witnessed daring coups and sumptuous celebrations the size of which have never before been seen on your planet!" the brick commented, causing me to wonder what in all the worlds was a sumptuous celebration, weren't celebrations usually joyous? Perhaps it was a translation error, after all, sumptuous was the word for fulfilling and delicious, usually referring to some form of dinner...and I was going off track again, suppose that is to be expected after millennia of heavily restricted speech. Also, did the brick just forget its fear? When did my presence get so weak that a mere brick could ignore it and boast its achievements?
"You must release me! Or suffer my wrath! You, you must release me" the brick said puzzling me more than anything, what exactly made this brick think I had anything to fear from it? I was a seventeen thousand-year-old man, I had no reason to fear a mere brick...Oh, the brick had just turned 3 months old...which means that he has to go pee...and I'm the one who has to teach him how to do it.
Deciding that procrastination was not the best option at the moment especially considering the fact that the brick probably had negligible bowel control...Oh, he already went on my floor...Mentally I sent a pulse of mana to vaporize the offensive liquid but found to my shock that it did not disappear...Did I just net myself a nonvaporizable pee-producing machine? Especially because the next few months would see the baby produce pee in exorbitant amounts for extended periods as the body used mana to clear itself of impurities...Oh, wait the baby has a diaper, that's the excess quicksilver from that swordmaking ceremony hundred years ago...
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Unnamed Baby, also known as brick
Ever found yourself covered in self-produced liquid? I just did...and the worst thing wasn't that it was there, it was that it hadn't stopped coming out.
As the Banmeru watched me in apparent disgust, unaware that he would very soon be covered in the very liquid he hated so fervently that he immediately used some form of greater destruction magic to vaporize it would soon cover him. As if on cue the thin substance blocking the outflow of the liquid broke, making way for a jet of the substance that sprayed the old man on the face, I must say that the look on his face was quite pleasing after that interrogation that he dared to put me through. To think that I, the oldest brick in the entirety of the palace would be bound in cobwebs and held hostage as he interrogated me for my knowledge. I would have none of it! Take this jet of liquid you freak! There seems to be a lot more where it came from...Oh, you already vaporized it and are now looking at me in a very weird manner...he couldn't have read my thoughts, could he?
Time to get out of here!... Why did my senses not shut down? Why is that guy still staring at me? And why, oh why, is there still enough of that liquid within this fleshy nuisance of a body for it to still be vaporized?
Time to... just stand there in that cobweb waiting for something to happen. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately? The 'happening' was me being knocked unconscious.
Praetor Narvin
I was frustrated, I'd expected this interrogation to be hard, grueling, and generally, pity inducing (transmigrators usually had very pitiful stories) what I didn't expect was that it would be absolutely ridiculous! First, the transmigrator was a brick. Second, he peed on me! And to make things even worse was the fact that he wouldn't stop peeing! So I did what any reasonable person would do...I knocked him unconscious and searched his memory.
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Needless to say, it was useless, as it turned out that the brick was faulty, completely and utterly defective. It had an insignificant long-term memory, limited senses, and a very convoluted sense of the world. Apparently, the only thing that the brick brought from its world was a humongous and completely undeserved ego. Did I mention the convoluted sense of the world? Because I was very sure that a nation that took pride in summoning a minor dragon was not great, nor was equality a bad thing. And being an inconsequential brick was definitely not a great privileged form of existence. Now I could correct the brick and show it what is right...but seeing it in the world with these views will be far more amusing.
Unnamed Baby, also known as brick
I came to back in my bed, having survived my misadventure in the cobweb-filled room. As soon as I awoke, I was rudely assaulted by the same flying sheets that showed me my status
Congratulations!
Due to peeing on the face of one of three world-changers you get the unique achievement
[Beware! I don't care for manners(I)]: you receive a +10 buff to all stats when peeing on someone
And...
Title gained!
[Transmigrator]: You have been acknowledged as a transmigrator by one of your peers. As the ninth of your kind to come to the world of Algrea, you are feared and lauded by many. Revealing your identity may have far-reaching consequences.
Another! Do these things never end?
Stats gained!
Intelligence:+13
Wisdom:-11
It's official. They don't end
First mana purge in progress
Time to completion 13:20:17
...(huffs in anger causing his audience that is hiding very very badly to laugh)
Skills gained!
[Conversation]
[Mana Manipulation]
[Ess...
"That's ENOUGH! irritating screen..." the poor brick said as he went to sleep leaving some very important notifications very unattended
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