Chapter 45: Idyllic Days (III)

Tobias raised the wooden sword above his head, and when his left hand aligned the blade properly, he brought it down with a huff.

Five hundred and ninety nine.

Once more, he raised his left hand, and hefted the wooden sword over his head. After checking the blade alignment, and his wrist positioning, he brought it down again.

Six hundred.

Once the sword was only a few inches away from the ground, he held it in place for a few seconds. Then he held his sword with his right hand, and rotated his left wrist while opening and closing his hand to relax it.

He stared upwards. The skies were clear, and the sun shining overhead made everything just slightly too bright. Even if it was already noon, he was still training in the middle of summer.

Was it warm? Of course it was. There was a reason why he sweating, and why he removed his tunic.

Did he care? Not in particular. He was used to it, after all.

There was nothing like learning how to shrug off heat by exercising for hours on end with winter wear on during the middle of summer, after all.

Now that he thought about, he wondered how he never really suffered a heat stroke back then... No amount of training was supposed to make someone functionally immune to elevated heat temperatures, right...?

Then he shrugged, and decided that maybe a person could increase their own heat tolerance, after all.

And there – he had company. He only stared at that tree in particular, which had a small, green cloth peeking out of it.

How familiar...

And after a while, the person behind that tree stepped out. The person who slowly and carefully approached him with eyes widened with surprise was none other than Clara.

“Hey there.” Tobias greeted, waving his hand.

“Hello.” Clara said, but then, her gaze fell towards his stomach, and her face morphed into one of tenseness and hesitation as she saw his scar.

“Does it look terrible?” He asked, as he let his gaze fall to his own stomach. While it was no longer the crude patchwork of red flesh barely held together by healing magic, it was still a fist-sized, whiter-than-normal patch of skin where it looked like the upper layers of skin were scraped off.

It was just a scar now. That’s just how it healed. At least, it didn’t look that terrible. It could have been a red patch of inflamed flesh for all he knew, but now... It was something that reminded him of that night where he avenged his friends. His own Badge of Honor, if nothing else.

“Not at all.” She replied, shaking her head. Then she gave him a smile. “It looked really terrible back then, but now, it looks... well, not good. But I guess there’s a certain charm to it.”

“Hmm.” He hummed at her answer, then he gave a shrug. Bastille was correct, after all. Women did tend to like scars of sorts, as long as they weren’t too painful looking. “Anyways, why’d you come looking for me?” He asked, right as he slipped his gray-colored tunic on.

Because after all, Tobias was somewhere in the middle of the forest. Finding him would be no easy feat for anyone who wasn’t Magnus – but then again, Clara was a natural Huntress, wasn’t she?

“Tobias, you’ve been sneaking away everyday for the few days to train.” She said, using his actual name. Alright, she was serious, so he turned to her to pay more attention. “This week should’ve been a time for you to rest and relax, you know?”

“Force of habit.” He replied, and resisted giving a shrug when she only narrowed her eyes at him. Then he sighed instead. “I don’t... There’s nothing in the village for me to do, anyways. So I figured why not just train here by myself.”

“Tobias.” She frowned. “I know that you’re terrible at socializing –” Her words were true, but it still made him frown at the sheer bluntness of it. “– But you can always try to talk to other people, you know? Or even if you don’t want to, you can always talk with your family. They miss you, you know?”

He had to resist giving a chuckle at that. While his sisters and mother did, he wasn’t so sure about the other members of his family. The sight of Andre or Pierre going sentimental on him only made him smile in a sarcastic way instead.

“That might be the case.” Tobias admitted, then his smile turned into a sigh. “But honestly, spending time with them kinda makes me guilty in a complicated way.”

And as expected, his words only made Clara confused, as she tilted her head to him. “Guilty? How?”

“There are two reasons why.” He said, raising two of his fingers to prove his point. “First is Marcus. It’s really complicated, but at the end of the day... I think his death was my fault.”

If Tobias didn’t ask Marcus to go with him to become Mercenaries – then he would have never awakened his System to begin with, and get claimed by Death as a result. And even then, simply asking him like that – they could have died on that battlefield, if Marcus wasn’t trained and strong.

“And because his death is my fault, I feel like I don’t have the right to spend time with my family. Not when I made Sir Magnus’ only son die, and now, he’s alone in this world.”

“That’s...” She trailed off, and for the longest time, there was silence as she tried to find a word to describe the situation.

“Complicated?” He finally offered, and he was met with a hesitant nod. “I know. Second reason. I am on my personal quest to get stronger, and I know that if I don’t succeed, I will die.”

“Die...?” She said, as if the word was foreign to her. Then she widened her eyes, and violently shook her head. “No... That is impossible –”

“Not impossible.” He interrupted her, shaking his head. “I remember back when we first met... Back on those Magical Dungeons... you were looking at me like I was some sort of Monster, weren’t you? And then, you decided to befriend me. You’re probably thinking that I’m the strongest person that you’ve ever known, and that me dying is impossible.”

“... That might be the case.” She finally admitted, with a wince to herself at the truthful accusation. “But how does it lead to your second reason...?”

“If I die...” He continued. “If I really die in my quest to get stronger to earn Death’s favor... I wouldn’t want my family to get sad over me. And to that end, I will distance myself from them, and if they truly realize how dangerous my quest is, then I will even cut my own ties with them.”

Were those his real feelings? It was complicated – a truth, buried half in lies, and half in selfish desire. He was distant, so that they may not feel sad over his end. But it was needlessly selfish, so that he may not hear about how much they missed him, or how concerned they were for him.

Because such things... would break the will in his heart to keep soldiering on – to keep pressing on his mission. It was not only his own personal desire which keeps him from pressing on – with his quest, lied the desire of Magnus, who pushed himself to teach a boy like him how to survive war and battles, so that he might have a chance of bringing back his son.

Yes... That was the reason why he needed to do this. A truth, buried half in lies, and half in selfish desire.

It was nothing more, and nothing less than that.

“Tobias...” She spoke carefully, and slowly, as if she was thinking of what she was supposed to say. “But what about us, then?” She asked, and stepped closer towards him. Her abyss-colored eyes met his own, and they pleaded with him. “What about me?”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

For the briefest moments, her eyes sparkled guilt. But then they hardened into resolve. “Why aren’t you pushing us, your party, away? If you’re willing to push away your family just so they wouldn’t be sad over you, why aren’t you pushing us away?”

It was simple. It really was, truthfully, painfully, simple.

“That’s because you guys... are strong.” Tobias admitted, with his heart pounding with shame. But still, he continued on. “I am weak. I need people around me – so that I can keep doing what I need to do without any hesitation. I would be lost without anyone to help me... If there’s anyone to point me in the right direction, then it would be you guys.”

And there was silence. Clara’s eyes only widened at his words, while her mouth was gaped slightly – she was shocked at his words, most definitely. And then, her eyes softened, and she smiled at him.

“I see.” She simply said, then looked up to him with radiant, warm eyes despite their cold color. “You really are a big softy, aren’t you?”

He frowned at her words. “You already said that before.”

“I know.” She replied, with a small grin to her face. She was being cheeky now, then. “But that still applies to you.” She said, as she spun around on her heel to face the other direction. The gesture only made him raise his eyebrows. “Well then... if someone like Toby trusts me enough to tell me what’s on his mind, then that means I should be honored, right?”

“You make it sound like I don’t trust people.” He pointed out, and in turn, was only met by her cheeky grin.

“Catherine told me that you don’t trust a lot people.” She replied. “And you yourself implied that you also don’t really trust people.”

“I get it, I don’t trust people. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Mhm, well... I understand not being able to trust people, at least.” She continued, and he let out a sigh at her winding, spiraling words which were just barely sensible for the context. “I guess you’re the type of person who trusts certain persons, instead then?”

Tobias blinked. And then he stared at her. “Isn’t that how everyone worked?”

“Not at all.” She replied, shaking her head. “You’d be surprised at how many people out there who will begin telling you everything about their lives, and what they’re thinking the moment you ask.”

“They sound like they don’t have anyone to worry about turning their stories into bigger messes.” He pointed out, earning a giggle from his companion. “If they can just tell anyone about their lives, then they’re living happy, carefree lives then.”

“Mhm, maybe, maybe.” She tilted her head to the side, and began to think to herself. “That or they’re the kind of people who are popular. Who knows?”

He only shrugged at her question, because even he would be surprised at himself if he knew the answer.

And then, there was silence. For the briefest of moments, watching Clara was somewhat mesmerizing on its own. He could pay attention to how carefully and silently she breathed.

He could also wonder how she has the playful exterior of a young girl, yet at the same time, seemed to bear the maturity of a grown woman. And even though she was the kind of person who could easily befriend everyone, she still seemed to like being alone whenever she has the chance to.

And whenever she’s about to speak, she had the tendency to take a deep, silent breath, and with a resolved nod to herself, she would turn on her heels and face the person she was talking to – in this case, it was him.

“Tobias.”

“What is it?”

“I like you.”

And with those three words, Tobias’ mind crashed to a complete halt.

No, that was too much of an exaggeration. What he meant was, he turned towards Clara, blinked thrice in a row, and tried to figure out if she was joking or not.

She was, in fact, completely serious. Even if she was blushing, she seemed to have thought about her statement through, time and time again. While she did fidget in place, she kept her gaze fixated on his; those abyss-hued eyes burning with determination, mixed in with just the faintest hints of embarrassment.

“... You do understand that we live dangerous lives, right?” He carefully asked, and then her expression instantly turned to one of confusion.

“... You’re not going to ask why I like you to begin with?”

“If you said that to me without any of the previous statements that I said... Then maybe I wouldn’t have asked that to begin with.” He said. “But right now, we’re both aware of the fact that I can die anytime – doesn’t that make you afraid of trying to confess to me?”

“Tobias, I know you’re strange and weird,” Clara admitted, as her face cleared itself from its blush, and instead turned into one of resignation. “But I didn’t know that even your priorities were this weird as well. But if you’re really serious about that question... Then, no. I’m not quite afraid, because I simply can’t imagine you dying, to begin with.”

He was about to open his mouth to ask why, but then he shut it after a second thought. He might have not thought about it too much because he saw it from his angle and knew how he fought with ruthless efficiency, but from a third person’s perspective...

Maybe he really was monstrously strong in his own right – for a boy his age, at the very least. He held no illusions that he was the strongest person, not even close to that. He just understood that he was tougher, and more stubborn than the average person.

“I see...” He finally nodded to her statement, then coughed to clear his throat, and the awkward pause of silence. “Well then... Why do you like me?”

And with those words, while she didn’t quite blush anymore (thanks to the fact that she was most definitely confused because of what he said to begin with), she still fidgeted in place, and tapped her fingers together. Then she took a deep breath to herself.

“I’ll say this once again. Tobias... you’re strange, and weird.” She said, and he blinked at the surprisingly harsh words. “You focus on the weirdest things, and you don’t seem to give anything strange or unsettling a second thought. You’re really blunt with your words sometimes, but other times you somehow have a way with your words, like a poet would. Even right now, a girl confesses to you, and you say something that’s weird.”

“...” Yeah, she wasn’t wrong. Those accusations were entirely correct, when viewed any amount of hindsight.

“But... even if you’re focused on walking perfectly on the tiles, you always take the chance to glance behind you – at us, to see if we’re following. Even if you’re terribly injured, you always ask if we’re still alright. Even if you’re blunt, and I want to elbow you for your sheer bluntness, there are times when you are careful with the situation, and show consideration for others. You are very kind in your own way, and I don’t think you’ve even thought of yourself like that. Those are the reasons why I like you, Tobias.”

And then, there was silence. For a few seconds, he only kept silent to try to understand her words. And when he finally did, he kept silent to try to find any word which would be worthy of her heartfelt confession, if nothing else.

And at the end of such silence... He found the words he wanted to say.

“Thank you.”

Because this girl... no, Clara, had taken her time and bothered to get past his indifferent, awkward, and strange exterior. She had carefully paid attention to him, and managed to catch the subtle traits that he himself was not fully aware of.

And; “I’m sorry.”

Because in the end, he did not quite return those feelings – no, he was lying. On a deeply subconscious level, he understood that he felt something for Clara, but he never bothered to care for it, or try to understand what it was.

But now that she had confessed to him, those tossed aside feelings had slowly surfaced, and while he didn’t quite feel anything right now, he knew that if he was allowed enough time, he would no doubt come to see her in a different, more similar light.

“I see...” Her voice came off as bitter – she most definitely came to this conclusion by herself, but being really told in her face by those two words, while indirect, was no doubt painful. Her eyes shimmered, and for once, it wasn’t because of happiness.

“But... If you would be able to wait for me to complete my quest... Then surely, I would come to see you in the same way you see me.”

And with those words, hope bloomed once more in her eyes. She slowly turned to gaze at his eyes, to see if he was lying or if he was only saying that to make her feel better. And when she didn’t find any trace of those, she only smiled at him.

A truly melancholic smile.

“Promise me, okay?”

He smiled back; a smile so genuine, even he could feel its purity.

“I promise.”

And with those words, Tobias knew that his fate would be bound with Clara’s, and such a thought only made him happy, for reasons unknown to him at that moment.

***

And at the foot of a tree, Tobias and Clara sat together, side by side. The summer afternoon air was warm – but for Clara, who was currently sweating, it must have been hot. Especially after the fact that she just confessed to him, because her cheeks were still flushed red. But even then, she still only looked up – towards the skies.

“It’s a beautiful summer day, isn’t it?”

“Even if you’re feeling really hot?”

She stared at him – with an expression the mixture of incredulousness, and resignation. “It doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a beautiful summer day.”

He nodded at her words. She wasn’t wrong, after all.

“Tomorrow’s the Festival of Flowers, isn’t it?” She said, and her words only made him tilt his head with confusion.

“That’s already tomorrow?”

“Have you even been keeping track of the days? Actually... you definitely didn’t.”

He blinked at her accusation, before he let out a shrug. “My bad. I said force of habit earlier, and I’m only training like how I trained before I left this village. So I’m not one to keep track of time too much.”

“I see... So what I wanted to say was... Will you attend tomorrow?” She asked, her eyes shining with hope.

“Of course I would.” He nodded, answering her question. She sighed in relief at his words, as if half-expecting him to decline. “There are two girls I need to watch for, after all.”

“... Me and Catherine?” She asked cautiously.

“Of course. I wouldn’t want anyone leering at her, after all.”

“I see. You better be ready for tomorrow, Toby. I’ll wear something so good, you’ll regret making me wait.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ll see tomorrow.”

“... Alright.”

And once more, there were two friends sitting on the foot of a tree, as they idly talked with one another with a certain amount of familiarity that was unique to their newfound, no doubt strange relationship.

They were no less than friends, and no more. But in the farther, distant future, they might be more than friends, eventually.