Robin marched through the tunnels, Gis to one side of him and an overly-jabby kobold with a spear occasionally prodding him from behind. That was decidedly not a privilege the little monster had earned.

‘How much further?’ the priest demanded of the kobolds ranging ahead of them.

‘Not far! Not far!’ the lead scout called back.

‘That’s what you said ten minutes ago! Lie again and I will feed you feet first to your chieftain,’ Gis threatened.

The kobold behind Robin jabbed him in the ass again. Robin took advantage of Gis’s distraction to glare over his shoulder and hiss at the scaly frakker in the kobold tongue.

‘You jab me one more time with that little stick of yours and I will jam it so far up your cloaca, you’ll think you’re being spit-roasted by trolls.’

Proficiency Unlocked: Intimidation

The kobold meeped and shouldered the spear immediately. Robin dismissed the prompt, squinted out one more glare and returned his attention to the tunnel in front of him.

They were close. He recognised that bifurcated stalagmite. Robin shot a glance along the group. Several kobolds marched between each of Robin’s allies, keeping them all separate. Robin would have to time things carefully if they were going to have a chance to break free again. Lantha caught his gaze and nodded once, a quick, sharp gesture. They were ready.

Gis was muttering to himself, distracted. Robin took the opportunity to slip a pair of earplugs he’d made from scavenged moss and mushrooms into place. The cavern he needed was just ahead.

‘There,’ Robin said, gesturing with his still-bound hands. ‘We need to go through that cavern there.’

The words were distant, hollow, heard more through the vibrations in his chest than through his ears. The spongey mushrooms were surprisingly good at cancelling noise.

Gis barked a command to the leading scouts, who scurried forward. The rest of the group followed, not even slowing their pace.

The smell of the cavern rose up around them: aged jockstraps and rotten food. Robin suddenly wished his vision were slightly less excellent. Some of the trash scattered amongst the stalagmites around the edges of the cavern was alive with maggots.

If these goblins were anything like the ones in D&D, it was probably an additional food source. Or maybe the harpies considered them a breakfast delicacy. Early birds and worms and all that. Never mind. Robin shook the thoughts from his head. It was time.

Robin twisted his hands through the gestures that would summon a [Lesser Phantasm]. He failed. The bindings around his wrists were still making things difficult. He tried again. This time he managed it.

An eerie flute melody (if one was feeling generous enough to call it that) echoed out through the shadows. The kobolds froze. Gis shot glances around the cavern. Nothing moved, but the series of notes replayed themselves.

The priest must not spend a lot of time underground, or he had so much power that he could afford not to pay full attention to his surroundings. He didn’t look up to see the rustling of the winged goblins amongst the stalactites above them.

Robin gestured and the melody sounded again. This time it was answered by the cries of the harpies from their roost near the ceiling of the cavern.

‘What is that noise?’ Gis demanded.

‘Goblins!’ Robin whispered, putting on a terrified face, pulling out every trick his Deception skill had to offer, and praying to Rhyth for all he was worth. ‘We heard that noise just before they attacked us last time. We need to get across the cavern and fast before they come out of one of these tunnels!’

The priest, already primed to follow Robin’s directions to the shrine, accepted the directive without question. He shouted the order to the kobolds, and the party began to dash across the cavern.

The harpies appeared before they were halfway across. Robin twisted his hands through the gestures for [Lesser Phantasm] and a disembodied male voice echoed out through the cavern in the language of the harpies.

‘Bow before the Chosen One of Urkhan, beasts!’

The harpies shrieked in rage. Robin twisted his fingers again. [Lesser Phantasm] made the symbol on Gis’s chest plate glow, painting him a very obvious target.

‘Sisters! Sing!’ One of the harpies called. ‘Sons, wake and take the kobold scum!’

The harpies began to sing. The winged goblins roosting amongst the stalactites shouted and dropped from their perches. Most of the kobolds were immediately ensnared by the harpies’ enthralling voices, their faces going slack and the spears in their hands clattering to the floor.

Robin and his allies, the Sisters Sharp, seized the opportunity and all darted toward the right-hand side of the cavern, protected by the ear plugs Robin had made for each of them from mushrooms and moss.

The winged goblins were darting down and snatching up the mesmerised kobolds, carrying them dozens of feet into the air and dropping them as soon as they began to struggle, usually on other kobolds.

Gis shouted and his gauntlets began to glow with an eye-searing red light. One of the harpies, frustrated her song was so easily shrugged off by the priest, made the mistake of swooping down at him.

Gis lashed out with one hand, grabbing the harpy by the neck. Her song was choked out of existence as she struggled wildly. The priest just tightened his grip on her throat. The other harpies wailed in distress.

‘Sons of ours! The priest! Attack the priest who dares lay hands on us!’

The goblins began swooping around the priest. However, there were too many of them to effectively attack, and the harpy in Gis’s grip was an effective shield.

We need to get out of here. Now. Robin flashed the words in front of the party’s eyes with [Lesser Phantasm].

Lantha nodded in agreement, and her hands flashed through several signs. The others nodded. Robin bit his cheek in frustration. He had no idea what she was saying.

Ora-Jean noticed. She caught Robin’s gaze and pointed sharply toward a tunnel leading out of the cavern. It was several dozen paces away and partially shielded by some stalagmites.

Robin nodded. His neck flared with spikes of adrenaline. To get to that exit, they were going to have to pass dangerously close to the battle. Not much for it, though. There were only a few ways out of this cavern. He shot a glance over at the chaos.

Fully half of the kobolds were dead or lying on the floor of the cavern suffering broken bones and worse. A few had broken free of the mesmerising harpy song and were attempting to stab the winged goblins with their spears. They had limited success. Most of the harpies remained flying out of range.

‘Enough of this!’ Gis had clearly figured out which of the harpies was calling the shots. The one that had attacked him was crumpled in a heap at his feet, her neck twisted in an unnatural angle. The priest reached an open hand out toward the leader of the harpies and then clenched it into a fist as he muttered dark and unholy syllables.

Spiked chains of glowing red light materialised around the harpy leader. She shrieked in distress, and those of her sisters nearest to her immediately tried to pull the chains off her.

The whole battle descended into further chaos. Without the harpies directing them, the winged goblins were noticeably less effective.

Lantha gestured frantically. The party moved more quickly toward the exit amongst the stalagmites. Before they made it halfway, however, one of the kobolds spotted them and yipped out in alarm.

‘No!’ Gis shouted. ‘Stop them! I need that bard to lead the way to Rhyth’s shrine!’

The kobolds attempted to comply with the order, but too few were left alive and too many were tangled up in holding off the winged goblins.

‘Freeze!’ Gis shouted.

Lantha stopped mid-stride and almost fell over. The others paused, confused. Lantha shook off the effect in a few second, but their momentum had been arrested.

The elf jerked her head toward the tunnel. The group started moving again.

‘Bow! Stop! Halt!’ Gis called out spelled word after spelled word. Some of them worked; most did not. The ear plugs were helping.

Some detached part of Robin’s mind that occupied a space near that section of his brain that handled strategy gaming wondered if the spells got through because Gis was more powerful than the harpies, or if it was just bad luck. Not that he wanted to stick around long enough to test theories.

‘I said halt!’ Gis’s voice lashed out across the cavern and froze Robin in his tracks.

What was that? [Command]? [Inviolate Order]? Robin hissed in frustration. How many times could that farquad use whatever ability that was, anyway?

They were never going to make it out of here if the priest kept halting their movements like this. Either the harpies would notice them, or the kobolds would organise enough to come after them. The party had managed to grasp some crude spears, but they were sized for kobolds and not the greatest of weapons at the best of times.

Robin needed to do something to distract the priest so they could get away. Illusions were probably out. That left trickery or magical, rage-inducing insults. Robin knew which one he preferred to use right now.

Resolutely, he caught Gis’s gaze and took a single, mocking step. The priest really shouldn’t be so focused on him. There were still harpies and winged goblins near, even if they were temporarily distracted. Maybe Gis needed some extra distraction.

‘Hey! You! Unholy lickspittle!’ Robin shouted, putting the full force of his staggered wits into his [Cutting Words]. ‘Is failure one of the profane rites of Urkhan, or are you honestly just this useless?’

The priest staggered from the impact of the words. He turned his full attention to Robin, hatred vibrating in every muscle of his face. The harpies took advantage of the distraction to redouble their efforts to free their leader. The chains of red light began to flicker but did not vanish.

Robin couldn’t resist taking one more shot. ‘You know, they say the priesthood is a divine calling, but I think in your case, Urkhan had the wrong person answer.’ He followed the words with an insulting gesture for good measure.

Gis’s eyes bulged in fury and he turned a shade of red that nearly matched the unholy light seeping from his gauntlets. Robin’s insult had definitely hit with extra force. Enough that Gis no longer cared about taking Robin alive to guide him to the shrine. The priest of Urkhan spat out a spell and there was a sharp crack above the party’s heads.

A massive stalactite, sundered at the base, plummeted down towards them. Robin and the Sisters Sharp dove out of the way, narrowly escaping impalement by the massive stone spar. It slammed into the stone floor of the cavern instead, and there was another, louder crack.

Proficiency Unlocked: Dodge

Robin willed the notification out of his view even as the floor crumbled beneath their feet, stone falling into empty darkness. Robin tried to jump, but the stone under his feet provided nothing to push off from. It was already plummeting into the depths below.

Screaming, Robin, the Sisters Sharp, and one or two kobolds tumbled down and the darkness swallowed them whole.