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Elaria

Impressed doesn't begin to describe what Elaria felt as Leo, yet again, flipped a near worst case scenario on its head. How someone could do it with so little effort, and maintain such a confident air afterwards, is astonishing. She couldn't help but notice that Kessa was also 'very' impressed by Leo's display for another reason, because when she sat up to leave for a quick change of clothes, Elaria realized that the spill wasn't from the drink. Leo seemed to realize as well, but he kept giving Elaria an awkward look.

‘I might have to have a genuine talk with him about him wanting some kind of confirmation. It's starting to become an issue….' Elaria thought irritably, because it was like a grown man asking permission to drink.

When Kessa returned, Elaria could do nothing but watch as Leo continued to work a property and construction deal into the contract, and the accountant entered every so often to assist with the details and pricing.

The accountant was skittish when Leo spoke to her directly, which seemed to amuse him at first, but his expression became one of pity.

Elaria mentally sighed. 'Even if her position comes with many benefits, I doubt that the people in charge see her differently than any other slave, and costing the guild a major deal wouldn't go unpunished. I bet she's terrified that she might somehow lose Leo as a trade partner if she says the wrong thing. A collar is still a collar….' She thought sadly, but was very glad that it wasn't her.

After a few more hours of negotiating, chatting, and waiting, the accountant entered the room carrying a few items. A nondisclosure contract, the main contract for Leo's enchanted items, and one hundred gold.

After Leo took another hour reviewing both the contracts, he gave the accountant a nod and signed them, then the accountant instructed him on how to enact the disclosure lock on the collar. The accountant then demonstrated the lock by attempting to say that Leo was an arch mage. Lightning arced out from the collar and shocked the accountant, and the pain of it sent her onto her knees.

Leo looked utterly horrified while he rushed next to her. "Fucking kry-st! You could have just told me it did that!" He said while healing some of the burns around her collar.

"Hold on… I still need to show that I am... unable to write the information…" The accountant said while trying to get her breathing under control.

Leo tried to talk her out of doing that, even snatching away the paper, but she was determined. She told him that it was needed to finish it's bind on the lock, so she had to do it. Leo turned to Kessa with a plea written across his face, but she just looked away. So Leo stepped back with a pained expression as the accountant tried to write down the information, only to be shocked yet again. This time not even her knees could hold her up as she fell onto the floor, eyes glazed over from the pain.

Leo rushed immediately to heal the burns caused by the collar, then he and Kessa helped her onto the couch.

Elaria noticed that Leo was holding back tears, as if he went through what the accountant did. And it was in that moment, for the first time, Elaria understood why Leo was so determined to change the world.

'It's not just compassion, he feels their pain… Not in the literal sense, but he can empathize so strongly that it causes him to feel as if he was hurt… That's why he can't stand all the abuse by nobility, that's why he gets that cold aggressive look when he sees someone he wants to help but can't, why he keeps looking for confirmation from me, and why… He helped me in the woods...' Elaria realized while she stared at him with deep adoration, and worry, as her paper house of a fantasy seemed to slowly fall apart.

Elaria wondered if it was because Leo was human, or if it was just the product of him growing up on such a prosperous world, but she knew that such a trait would end up getting him killed sooner or later. Whether by crossing the wrong people or sacrificing himself for someone else, and he and anyone following him was essentially on borrowed time. So why wasn't she afraid, and why wasn't she abandoning him at this very moment? She's free from the military, free from her family, free to leave whenever she wants. Free to get away from someone who's a quick death waiting to happen. So why?

Leo looked into the accountant's eyes with deep sadness. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that that was what prevented you from telling other people, much less that you had to go through it twice for it to bind…" He said as he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

The accountant looked disbelievingly into his eyes for a moment, then her apprehension subsided, visibly relaxing while her eyes softened. "I-it's alright, it comes with the job, just another small sacrifice for the guild." She said as she broke eye contact.

A slight pain crossed over Leo’s eyes, an internal conflict evident as he looked as if he was wrestling with a decision. After a few moments of silence in the room he spoke. "What's your name? I've been dismissive of you this entire time, and I apologize for that."

She turned to him again, looking like she was trying to find something that wasn't there. "Slessi." She finally answered.

Leo gave her a warm smile. "Well Slessi, you don't ever have to worry about me not making more deals with your branch. Given certain personal revelations, I will be continuing my work with you. So please, relax."

Slessi looked as if a weight was lifted from her shoulders. "Thank you." She said with distant eyes.

Elaria was just watching, unable to bring herself to speak. She glanced to Kessa, and she looked just as speechless, but there was a deep sadness in her eyes. Turning back to the two, Elaria’s eyes widened in surprise, as Leo pulled Slessi into a hug.

A moment of shock crossed Slessi's face, right before she returned his gesture, and started to break down, sobbing into his shoulder.

Elaria then realized why she didn't leave, even though it looked almost certain that he'd end up dead, dragging everyone involved with him, but she couldn't specifically describe it.

'This feeling, is it love?'

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Leo

Leo felt a cold, silent rage overtake him as he held Slessi. He was angry, angry at the guild for using slaves, angry at the governments for allowing such a practice, angry at this fucked up world and it's abuses, and angry at himself for not atomizing the collar around her neck. Especially after he noticed a variety of older scars arcing out from the collar, confirming that this wasn't the first time she was subjected to that torture.

Leo thought about it, and was really struggling to not just free her then and there. But then what? What would that accomplish? She would just be replaced by another willing and eager person whose life is worse than enslavement, the benefits of the position enticing anyone already on a lower rung.

Leo grimaced. 'No, if I want to help her, and others like her, then I should continue trading with the guild. At least until I build up enough wealth and connections to either take control of their market, or drain them for all they have.'

After Slessi regained her composure, she handed over the gold, and told them that they would receive the rest when the architect arrived with the resupply from another branch in the tiefling kingdoms.

'Saving money on a single trip huh, smart. Also did she say kingdoms, as in plural? Damn I'm going to need to really read up on the geopolitics of this world. At first I thought that this world was more or less grouped into, and ruled by, their respective races. Now though, it's like I'm in a nightmare of a first person paradox game…..’ He thought with a grumble.

“Just one more headache....”

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Elaria

After Leo was done with his business at the merchants guild, Elaria told him that she wanted to speak with Kessa in private, so Leo said that he would be waiting for her just outside the guild.

Once Leo was gone, Elaria turned to Kessa. "Kessa, can I ask you something personal?" She requested and Kessa nodded, taking a seat next to her on the couch.

Elaria was silent for a moment before asking. "What is love?" Believing that someone who had a partner might know.

Kessa was visibly taken aback by the question. "Elaria, I don't mean to be rude, but that's not much of a personal question. The meaning and depth varies from person to person, and sometimes words could never truly describe the feelings for another. If I had to put it into words, the closest definition would be to feel so emotionally connected to another person that you would want to do anything to see them happy, safe, and.. well... cared for. But even that definition would be considered shallow to most."

Elaria furrowed her brow. 'I do want to see Leo happy and safe, but have I ever cared for him? I've only thought about what I got out of the relationship...' She thought grimly.

"What would you call what Leo did for Slessi? Was that feeling as deep as love?" Elaria inquired a little confusingly, as she was unsure what caring that much felt like.

Kessa narrowed her eyes at Elaria for a moment, but her gaze softened and her face filled with concern." Have you never comforted another person like that before, or have ever been comforted like that?"

Elaria recalled a few situations with her sister. ‘I guess with my sister… She would always hold me like that when I had any episodes, but that was just to calm me right? It felt good, but I've never felt anything more than that…’ She contemplated on her emotions.

Elaria frowned at some part that she seemed to be missing, but felt like it was just out of her reach. "My sister held me like that, but I didn't feel anything more than relief."

Kessa looked genuinely worried now, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder with a look of pity. "Do you understand the reason for why he did that, why he pulled her into that hug, and why Slessi cried?"

Elaria tried to think of the reason past the obvious, but was drawing up a blank. 'I know that the reason felt ‘deep’, but I don't know anything beyond that, and that's why I'm asking about this in the first place.' She thought with a little frustration.

"He empathized with her right, because she was in pain?" Elaria answered blankly.

Kessa frowned slightly, and a grim expression was starting to cross her face. "Elaria, what was expressed was more or less an emotional connection, and whatever explanation that I could come up with could never properly reach the depth of what was felt there. But if I had to narrow it down to a single word, it would be that he cared. And Slesse felt that connection well enough to let her emotions show. In the few years that I've known her, I have never seen her break down like that."

Elaria arched a brow. 'That was care? Wasn't that just helping someone in…..need. I don't think I've ever done that with him. I mean choosing to keep his secret was close, but that was because I'd feel like shit for damning anyone to that fate. And helping him financially was out of generosity, I didn't feel anything meaningful behind it….wait….' Her thoughts trailed as she recognized the only thing she’d done with him, and is still trying to do with him.

Elaria’s face dropped into concern. "Is sex not love?" She asked worriedly.

Kessa seemed to freeze at the question, and looked as if she suddenly witnessed a horrific tragedy take place right in front of her. "No, Elaria…. You can do that as a product of love, but without it, you're mostly just physically pleasuring yourself…."

Elaria felt something crack inside her, as she began to realize what she’d been doing to Leo the entire time, and that she never felt anything deeper than a physical desire to get off. She outright dismissed his beliefs as childish dreaming, and believed that she would get the life that she always wanted, but in the end that was just her own fantasy. So she was just using him.

Elaria immediately felt overwhelmed by a torrent of emotions. "I-I didn't know…. Oh gods, what have I done?!" She cried out, and Kessa caught her from nearly falling off the couch.

As Elaria’s thoughts went over her relationship with Leo, tears started to stream down her face. "It wasn't real...none of what I felt was real… I was just convincing myself that I loved him, because he was the best I could hope for in a man. Yet I don't even know what love actually is!” She wailed as Kessa wrapped her arms completely around her, and Elaria reflexively returned the gesture as she sobbed deeply into her shoulder.

Elaria couldn't believe how stupid and horrible she was. "I-I’m- I can't even understand how to care for another person, much less love. How could I think that I was able to return his feelings.”

An image of her father crossed her mind, he was laughing deeply as he looked down at the dueling pit. 'I was just using him, and I was going to keep using him! I'm no better than my piece of shit father!' Her thoughts screamed.

Kessa spent a few minutes comforting Elaria before speaking. "I don't know what the relationship is like between you two, but if you want to continue it, then you will have to talk to him."

Elaria tensed up in Kessa’s arms. "But I-I can't. I can't even forgive myself! How can he?! " She cried out.

Kessa held her tighter, running her hands across her back. "Elaria, if you regret what you did and truly want to still be with him, then you need to fully open up to him. Especially if you want to make the relationship real."

Elaria pulled back a little from the embrace and looked up at Kessa. "Do you think he'll forgive me for using him..." She said with near desperation.

Kessa gave her a warm comforting smile. "If he cares about you even half as much as he did for Slessi, then you shouldn't worry too much. Just be honest with him as soon as possible so you can better mend your relationship."

Elaria broke the embrace as she finally calmed her emotions. "Thank you. I-I appreciate the advice… And even though I didn't feel that 'connection' when you comforted me, it was nice of you to listen."

Kessa smiled as she rubbed Elaria's back. "That kind of connection doesn't always have to go both ways, so I'm very happy that I got to help. Now. Let's get you cleaned up before Leo sees you, because I'd imagine you want to have your heart to heart in private."

Elaria looked a little apprehensive at the prospect. "And the sooner the better?" She asked hesitantly, and Kessa nodded with a reassuring smile.

'I don't know why, but I feel like I'd rather have a hundred rounds in the dueling pit….’

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