I recognized the escalade in front of the bed and breakfast when we landed in the alley behind the building. We quickly made our way inside.

JINGLE JINGLE

A well-placed bell on the door announced us as we marched in. Shara spun in her chair at the bar and greeted us, “Kalli. Melvin. Come. Sit down. I saved you both a seat next to me.”

Kalli waved jovially and explained to the kid, “We want to join you Shara, but we have to complete our quest first.”

“You have a quest here?”, the kid asked, looking confused.

A rotund woman wearing an apron pushed her way through a saloon door and gave the two of us an appraising look, smiling as she said, “I don’t suppose you two are my rat catchers now are you?”

I grinned and Kalli sagged while asking, “Where are they? Let’s get this over with.”

The woman smiled warmly and beckoned us to the door she had just come through, “In the back, you’ll find a set of stairs leading to the basement. We store food down there. I swear the guild sends rats every month just to force me to issue a quest. Don’t tell them I said that, mind you.”

As we followed the woman through the restaurant, I was treated to some of the best smells I had ever enjoyed in my entire life. I couldn’t quite make out what she was baking, but the seasoning in the air tickled my nose and complimented the savory smells of whatever it was she was roasting.

The woman spoke as we walked, “My name is Phylis Smith. I own this restaurant. It’s the only awakened restaurant in this strip, but I try not to overdo it. It wouldn’t do to hurt business for the other restaurants in the area.”

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Smith”, Kalli greeted the chef, “My name is Kalliphae.”

Mrs. Smith beamed a the girl, “That is such a beautiful name. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it before. You can just call me Phylis. Everyone does.”

I grinned, trying to match Kalli’s exuberance, “Hi Phylis. My name’s Melvin.”

Phylis nodded at me in approval, “Nice to meet you as well, Melvin.”

She led us down the basement stairwell and opened the door, stopping to announce, “You’ll forgive me if I don’t accompany you. I despise rodents.”

A nervous-looking Kalli agreed, “You and me both.”

I stepped past the two of them, squinting into the dimly lit room for signs of movement.

Are you afraid of rats?

Kalli’s indignant reaction surprised me. Of course not. I just don’t like the mess that squishing them makes.

I laughed to myself as I prepared to gross the girl out. We both stopped in shock as we walked in on a crime scene. Three rats the size of rottweilers stood hunched over something that I couldn’t quite make out. They had all turned to investigate the source of our footsteps. I could have sworn they all looked guilty of something.

“That rats got into the cheese”, Phylis whined from the doorway which she was peeking through.

I pointed an accusatory finger at the rats and stammered, “Those are rats?”

Kalliphae laughed at my question and replied, “Those are monsters. Always think of them as bigger, stinkier, all-around more annoying versions of the animals you are used to.”

I whined, “But they don’t have griffons and treants in the animal kingdom.”

She turned to gape at me, “Your world has a kingdom of animals?”

I groaned at her, “That’s just an expression. People use it to refer to animals in general.”

She turned back to the rats, which had all rounded on us, “Oh.”

I switched back to group chat and took out my mega-utility-knife, taking out the sword blade.

Any suggestions on how to deal with these?

Kalliphae shrugged. They are your typical monsters. They aren’t very strong.

They look strong to me.

She smirked at me. Compared to the griffon they are pretty weak.

I found some consolation in that fact and inched my way forward towards the trio of rats. They looked just as nervous as I felt and started edging away from me toward the safety of the shadows.

Realizing that my opportunity to attack was fading, I lunged at the nearest rat. My sword kicked up sparks as it dug into the floor recently vacated by the rat. Kalli laughed at me while she watched me start to wrestle with the rat on the ground.

The other rats must have remembered that they were all friends because they quickly charged in to join the fight. I heard Kalliphae grunt in frustration as she ran over to help even the odds. I hope you realize that I absolutely hate for you this.

She managed to tackle one of the rats and pin it to the ground, leaving me with two rats that were anxiously trying to gnaw at my arm. I was reaching back for my sword which had fallen to the ground when I heard Kalli utter her signature spell.

“Pvruzth”

The smell of burnt fur filled the air as the rat Kalli was fighting combusted. Her spell did not have the same effect on the monster as it did on me. Kalli was trying to incinerate the creature. One of the rats that were attacking me suddenly squeaked in horror and fled behind the stacks of boxes, leaving me with just the one rat that I had in my grip.

My other arm was freed up when the second rat fled, I scooped up the sword and attempted to make a pin cushion out of the rat that was now prone under me. I felt like a serial killer when I thrust the blade into the rat. This was not like video games at all. These rats leaked blood. A lot of blood. Poor Phylis’ basement was starting to look like a crime scene as we both finished off our rats and stood together to hunt down the third one.

Kalliphae hung back and allowed me to deal with the last rat. It was slightly more tolerable when I was standing on my own two feet, but I was still forced to end the poor creature's life face to face. Kalli crossed her arms over her chest and thought smugly. Well?

Well, what?

She smirked and refused to budge. It's your quest. Go cut off the tails.

I grumbled out loud about the quest monsters not disappearing like the treants had and used my sword to saw off their tails, one of them burnt to a crisp. I walked from behind the crates with the final one in my hand and Kalliphae balked. Ew, put that away.

I stashed them in my bag and we made our way out of the storage room. As we passed Phylis, Kalli asked, “Is there a place where we can get cleaned up?”

Phyllis nodded, “There’s a bathroom upstairs on the left. Just mind the zombies while you’re up there.”

We looked at each other and had the same thought in our heads.

Zombies?

Upstairs was rather lackluster, not a zombie in sight. Only one door was open in a hallway full of closed doors. Kalli raced ahead of me and slammed it in my face as I got there.

Hey. No fair. We are just washing up. Why can’t we just go together?

She answered my question by running the shower. I was unaware of the fact that the girl even know about showers.

When did you learn how to take a shower?

I felt the blood rushing to her face as she squeezed her eyes shut not wanting to send me a mental image of whatever she might be seeing in there. However, I did feel the warm water cascading over her skin. A little privacy if you please.

Oh, sorry.

I paced outside for what felt like an eternity before I heard the water shut off. She shuffled around in there and resumed group chat. I can't seem to get the stench of burnt rat off of me.

I laughed and shimmied past her as she exited the bathroom. Of course, her hair was perfectly dry. She had the magic to make that happen after all. I recalled her telling me that her magic was useless when it came to cleaning monster guts as I debated whether or not to take a shower myself. I looked down at my clothes in frustration to discover that nearly everything outside of my underwear was currently blood-soaked.

I was unsure if the defense on my shirt or my magical regeneration was responsible for me being uninjured by the rat bites. Realizing that Kalli didn’t have the buff at the moment I asked her.

Kalli, were you hurt at all by the rats?

She replied tentatively, not wanting to invade my privacy. I don't think so. I feel fine.

Okay.

I decided to strip off my clothes and take a shower myself.Feeling Kalliphae’s satisfaction under the warm water had made me crave the sensation.It only took a few minutes to scrub myself clean. The clothes on the other hand were a different matter.

I knew Kalliphae’s magic wouldn’t work on them but would mine? I already knew the answer. I realized that when Kalli’s dress had been damaged and blood-stained by the griffon, I had edited it back to pristine condition.

I did the same to the bloody heap sitting on the bathroom floor in front of me. Not only did the magic remove all of the blood and viscera, but it also folded the clothes in a neat pile on the floor.

I quickly dressed and stepped out of the bathroom. Kalli gave me one glance and asked. How did you get the blood out of your clothes?

If you tell me how you know about the shower, then I’ll tell you how I cleaned them.

She gave me a triumphant smile and replied. Mrs. Hogdins. Now spill. How did you do it?

I lied.

I can re-summon a damaged object like it was new. I did the same thing with your dress after the griffon fight.

Kalliphae blushed in front of me. You didn’t have to take it off of me to do that, do you?

I laughed out loud.

No.

She looked down at her dress which looked normal at the moment. Hey, can you clean my dress for me right now? It stinks like burnt rat.

I pulled up the menu.

Item:

Smoke-Stained Satin Wrapped Silk Dress of the Phoenix (Edited)

Components

Silk, Satin, Lace, Mana, Essense of Pheonix

Item Rank:

B

Item Level:

1

Item Owner:

Hellquist

A quick edit and it was back to normal. The girl sniffed it tentatively and smiled at me. Thanks, Mel.

With our clothes sorted out, we made our way back downstairs to the restaurant. Shara was still laughing about how we looked when we took a seat next to her. She pointed out, “Looks like you two had a rough time with some F ranked monsters.”

Kalli sat down next to the girl and grumbled, “Stupid Melvin had to get a kill quest. The delivery quests are just as rewarding and so much easier to do.”

I sat down on the other side of Shara and added, “It wasn’t that bad. Besides, we get lunch out of the deal.”

Shara grinned and pointed at Phylis, “Not just any lunch either. The food here is the best in all of San Diego County. Phylis can make practically anything too. Daddy orders catering from her all the time.”

I noticed that the two bodyguards were in a booth enjoying a meal already. Shara had waited for us to return before ordering for herself. I looked at the menu, expecting it to be magical. While the menu did provide hundreds of choices, it was anything but magical.

I turned to Shara and asked, “Is there anything that you recommend since you’ve eaten here before?”

She grinned up at me, “Everything here is yummy. However, my personal favorite is the country fried steak. It melts in your mouth and the gravy has little chunks of sausage in it.”

I felt my mouth watering at the girl's description and decided to go with it. Kalli browsed the menu for what felt like an eternity before finally exclaiming, “I’ll take the queen’s feast.”

Shara quickly picked up her menu again and flipped to the page that Kalliphae was on and announced that she wanted one as well. I looked over the offering and asked, “Why that meal? It looks like a lot of food.”

Kalli beamed and explained, “Well, you did call me a princess earlier. The queen’s feast felt like a good choice.”

Shara echoed, “Yes. We’re both princesses.”

I thumbed through my menu for a king’s feast, but apparently, Phylis didn’t make that dish.

Phylis didn’t disappoint with her cooking. My fork cut through the country fried steak like butter and the meat melted in my mouth. I marveled about the crunchy breading and the delicious gravy that was even better than Shara had let on.

However, my meal paled in comparison to the girl’s meals. They came out in courses which started with a salad. Then we enjoyed a selection of savory appetizers which included shrimp skewers and legendary fried cheese sticks. At least that’s what Shara called them. By the time they made it to the main course, both girls were visibly running out of steam. The meal consisted of a surf and turf entree which included both lobster and steak. I decided to help Shara out by sampling portions of her meal that she kept set aside for me like I was an overeager puppy. Kalli wasn’t having it, insisting that she could manage her meal on her own.

As it turned out, the queen's feast came with a total of seven courses, the final three of which were dessert-related. We were all a little uncomfortable when Phylis took the final plate away.

I turned to Shara and asked, “So, what quest did you pick out for us?”

The kid grinned and announced, “We’re going out to sea. I got daddy to let me use the boat.”