《Lonely Apocalypse: Left Out By The System》Chapter 1. The Divergence Point.

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Instead of a sense of relief at surviving and waking from my coma, negative emotions and thoughts filled my mind. If this voice had told the truth, then everyone else was gone from Earth.

So I'm the only human left on the whole planet? This is so absurd, so unfair. . . It would be okay if loneliness was the only thing to worry about. But the appearance of dragons doesn't reassure me at all. Who knows if there are other creatures that appeared alongside them? I bet that the process of teleporting humanity was called an "evacuation" for a reason. . .

To divert my attention from my predicament, I looked through the window again. I regretted my choice just a moment later.

Just when I thought that things couldn't get worse. . .

Far away on the ground, I could see different creatures that shouldn't have existed. I vaguely discerned a large group of humanoid wolves that rode upon dinosaur-like lizards the size of a horse. Other than them, a fat ugly creature as tall as a two-story building wreaked havoc at a nearby mall. A giant, oversized pterodactyl-like monster flew through the sky not far from the spatial fissure. Even the small area that I could see from my awkward position proved that Earth was no longer the same as I once knew it.

Now that I think about it, there's something wrong with the scenery as well. . .

Judging by how far the ground was from my room, I was approximately on the twentieth to thirtieth floor. If I still were in New York, then many even taller buildings would be extremely common. Instead, most buildings weren't taller than ten floors and none tall enough to hinder my line of sight.

The only outlier was the American Radiator Building that could be seen about a mile away, but I was fairly familiar with Midtown Manhattan, and the surroundings definitely didn't match. On some of the structures I could see obviously Japanese characters, while others were exotic enough to have been taken from historical ruins or a fantasy movie.

It's as if completely different regions of Earth and elsewhere were taken from their original locations and then patched together randomly. . . I noted.

"Yes, it's just as you guessed, Lex!" an ethereal voice sounded from the right of my bed, startling me. "Your tiny blue planet's landscape was rearranged in the Fusion Process, some regions from Heliron were added, some territories from Earth were taken away, and everything became a complete mess!"

Slowly and carefully, I turned my head towards the owner of the pleasant feminine voice, the sound of which made me completely ignore the strangeness of the situation. There shouldn't have been anyone in my room, but that voice made me not care.

My gaze fell upon an existence that couldn't have been mistaken for a human even by a junkie on hallucination-inducing drugs.

So beautiful, was my first thought.

The creature before me looked like the silhouette of a woman drawn in white oil paint.

She is a Goddess, was my second.

Her form was as if a divine artist had used the world itself as his canvas to paint Her as his final masterpiece.

I was born to become Her slave! The third thought made me realize that something was wrong, even as this realization was lost under intense, uncontrollable feelings of reverence and awe.

Her golden, almost human-like eyes were the only part of Her that felt three-dimensional.

Serving Her is the purpose of my existence! The fourth thought made something inside my mind resist the unreasonable emotions that overcame my whole being.

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Each part of Her was pure perfection without any disproportions. Her completely naked body was no different from a mannequin—just a smooth surface without any distinguishing parts. And yet, at that time, I felt that no one could be more attractive. The silhouette of her face and hair made me think of Lisa.

Comparing some mortal girl to my Goddess is blasphemy itself! My thoughts told me against my will. I deserve the harshest punishment just for thinking about someone else while looking at my Goddess!

As if those thoughts breached some kind of boundary that shouldn't have been crossed, the part of me that still kept its sanity started to fight back with renewed power. The willpower that had allowed me to keep moving even when no one acknowledged me, the willpower that had allowed me to persist even while in a coma, the willpower that had allowed me to awaken even as the world changed. This willpower made me resist the influence of the existence before me—even if for a brief second.

"Oh my, oh my!" A distorted smile plastered on her featureless face. "You are really a peculiar specimen, yes. Being able to resist the Charisma of my Fate with such low, low Attributes and before even Connecting to the System is an Achievement, indeed!"

As she said that, the mental influence of her presence decreased significantly, allowing me to regain some of my clarity.

J-just what are you?! I wanted to ask, but my voice still hadn’t come back. Nonetheless, to this Existence, it didn't seem to matter if my words were purely internal.

"How rude," she purred playfully, "I'm not a 'what', but 'who'! Hehe, if any of my Apostles heard your thoughts, they would probably erase your existence in a moment. But you're lucky. I'm way more amiable than any of them! Or than most other Administrators or Deities, for that matter."

Even if my feelings no longer were under the control of her invisible threads of influence, I didn't relax in the smallest. The sheer oppression of her mere presence made me feel like a tiny rabbit before a giant bloodthirsty wolf. Just because a predator acted friendly didn't mean that it couldn't finish its helpless prey in a moment.

There was a critical difference to my metaphor, though—my instincts screamed that the Being before me was way more dangerous than any beast could ever be. So maybe comparing us to a rabbit and a wolf was too much of an understatement?

"Understatement is the wrong word here, sneaky boy." She looked at me with something that looked like a bemused smirk. Creepy. "More like super-super-super-under-under-under-under-under-under-under-statement. I don't want to brag, but if I wanted to annihilate your insignificant Mirror Planet, it wouldn't take me more than an hour. Even though this is but my Avatar, if I wanted to harm you, I'd only need to not suppress my Aura, and it would be over for you in a moment."

If She had said it to make me relax, then she failed miserably. Cold sweat covered most of my body, but I still tried to maintain a certain degree of calm. From a rational point of view, Her words weren't wrong. Moreover, to kill me in my current state, someone didn't really need the power to annihilate the whole planet. . .even a kid with a knife would be more than I could handle.

"Don't worry, even those hundreds of times stronger than you shitted their pants at my presence even if their mental resistance was strong enough to not swear to become my loyal slaves from the get-go." She waved her hand dismissively.

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I blinked for a moment, just to find Her standing at the other side of my bed as if She had always been there.

Well, if She told the truth about her capabilities, then near-instantaneous movement isn't even that surprising. Also, didn't she say something about "other Administrators"? Considering the words of the System from before, her presence starts to make sense. I only hope that she doesn’t consider me an "error that shouldn't exist". . .

‘Hearing’ my thoughts, She made the most charming chuckle I'd ever heard, "You humans are so funny sometimes. . .Genesis System doesn't make mistakes. Ever. It just deems some matters too trivial to appoint more resources to them than intended. It's more stingy than incompetent, and—"

As if realizing something, She gave me a strange look. "Ah-ha! And here I thought that you looked familiar. Yeah, yeah, this is a Mirror Universe, after all. But what are the chances, huh? So you are the Doppelganger of that interesting boy from True Earth? I wonder where the divergence between your Fates was? Let me take a peek. It won’t hurt, don't worry. Not physically, at least."

She winked at me as her slim finger touched my forehead.

***

It was a Thursday no different from any other. After the classes were over, I left the classroom without exchanging even a glance with anyone else. No one paid attention to me even if I was one of the best students in the whole school. People ignored me as if I was a ghost and I didn't have what it took to start a conversation on my own.

I strolled down the hall when my phone vibrated, presumably a message from my mom. I stopped walking and took the mobile from my pocket to check it, not paying attention to my surroundings for only a few seconds. It was enough time, however, for a guy a head taller than me to bump into my shoulder, making me drop my phone. Thankfully, it was a rather study model, strong enough it could possibly survive minor drops.

"Hey, look where you're going, idiot!" the guy barked at me as if it was my fault and he was the victim here.

I found his looks rather strange, as his young teenage face didn't match his broad frame. I wasn't even moving, you asshole, I told him off in my mind, but, in reality, I just gave him an annoyed glance. Not paying him any heed, I hunched over to get my phone back. I didn't succeed, as the guy grabbed my forearm, stopping me in place.

"Are you ignoring me?!" He glared at me menacingly as if his girlfriend had just cheated on him with me.

It would have been less irritating had that actually been the case.

What are you going to do? Beat me? Good luck with being expelled from the school, gorilla. I taunted him. . . in my thoughts. Still, my disdaining expression probably made him tick even though I didn't say anything. The guy seemed to be on edge, noticing that he didn't intimidate me in the slightest. I assumed that he was a spoiled brat who had gotten used to things always going his way. It wasn't surprising to find someone like him in a place where you couldn't be enrolled without your parents paying a significant sum of money.

"Go on," I whispered as I provokingly looked right into his eyes.

If he wasn't too stupid, he'd realize that in an elite school like ours getting violent would get you into some serious trouble. And if he was stupid enough to actually hit me. . . Well, it would be a good lesson for him.

"What are you doing?" A clear and calm voice stopped the other boy in his tracks.

When he saw the voice's owner, Gorilla-boy released me with an awkward smile.

"Haha, I've just lost my temper for a moment," he said. "But this guy is at fault as well for bumping into me, right?"

I observed the person who was interfering in our altercation. She was a beautiful girl our age with fiery red hair and clear emerald eyes. She seemed rather familiar, even nostalgic, but I couldn't figure out why.

"What are you even saying?" She asked him rhetorically, and I realized I really liked her voice. "It was obviously you who didn't look where you were going."

Her words made his face turn red, either from shame or anger. Probably both were at play.

"S-sorry, I need to go!" The boy said as he released his hold on me and left in a hurry.

I watched him walking away, slight anticipation brimming in me. . . And I wasn't disappointed. Just as he made his tenth step away from me or so, he tripped on his own foot, falling miserably under the snickering laughs of some of the bystanders.

Whenever someone made trouble with me, they usually received their "karma" soon after. When I'd been younger, I'd suspected that it was my guardian angel getting revenge for me. Recently, I started to suspect that there was something more to it.

"Are you alright?" The girl asked as she handed me my phone.

I'd missed when she'd picked it because of enjoying myself at gorilla's expense. As I took my iDroid from her, our hands slightly touched. Without any warning, my heart skipped a beat, and I instinctively looked into her crystal-clear eyes. For a moment, we both froze, our faces less than a foot from each other. For those few seconds, we just gazed at each other like we were in a trance.

I felt a strange warmth spreading through my body, starting from my chest, as if something had opened up in my heart. It was a truly weird and unfamiliar feeling.

What's going on? Did I catch a cold? That would be troublesome, we have exams in a couple of days. I can't skip them. Also, why was she so sure that it was the gorilla's fault and not mine? She couldn't have seen everything from the start, right?

"Lis, let's go," a female voice calling to the girl interrupted my thoughts, "everyone is waiting for us at the entrance already."

"Ah, yeah," she mumbled as she placed the phone in my palm.

The girl gave me a bright, friendly smile before saying, "Bye-bye."

Not understanding what just happened, I just stood in the middle of the hallway and stared at her back as she disappeared into the crowd while surrounded by her female friends.

My thoughts became clear only when I was already home. Then, at last, I remembered where I'd seen her before and understood why she seemed so familiar—she was the girl from one of my favorite movies. Or, rather, she was the teen actor who'd played the leading role in it—Lisa Brightwood. When I couldn't fall asleep that night, the image of her smiling face appearing over and over again in my hazy mind, another realization dawned on me:

I'd fallen for her.

Hard.

***

After I'd internalized my own feelings towards Lisa, the hope that they were mutual almost got to my head. I still could remember how she froze at the same time as me. It didn't take me long to get rid of this delusion, though.

She never talked to me again. Sometimes, I would notice Lisa in the hallway with her friends. She never even looked in my direction. It wasn't anything surprising, though. It was only natural. We were just two strangers. It would have been unusual for someone to pay me attention instead. I'd gotten used to not being noticed a long time ago.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt that my feelings for Lisa had nothing to do with our encounter at school. Rather, they had everything to do with my favorite movie—The Girl Under The Starlight.

It was a post-apocalyptic story about a teenage girl named Lily who was born in an underground shelter and had never been on the surface. Her dream was to escape the confines of her home and to see the world above. In the end, Lily achieved her goal. . . at the cost of her life. In her last moments, she lay under the night sky full of stars, smiling and crying at the same time, touched by the beauty before her.

Three whole years had passed since I'd seen this movie for the first time at thirteen, but it still touched the strings of my heart whenever I rewatched it.

Lily died in loneliness, being the only human on Earth's surface as the boundless universe towered above her. And yet, she smiled even as tears flowed down her cheeks and she took her last breath. Having felt alone throughout my whole life, I could relate to her in ways no one else could. Maybe I'd fallen in love with Lily the first time I'd watched the movie, and meeting face-to-face with the actress who'd played the leading role became a trigger to awaken my suppressed feelings.

I didn't know, and I didn't care. The understanding that I didn't love Lisa but rather the fake persona she'd played as a part of her job had no effect on my heart.

For the next year, I continued watching Lisa from the background. The more I did, the more I learned about her. She was nothing like the shy and introverted Lily who reminded me so much of my own self. Instead, she was the brightest star in the sky, always the center of attention. She could talk to anyone. She could befriend anyone. No one ignored her, ever. No one hated her, not even those who envied her beauty, fame, and wealth. If some did harbor dark feelings towards her, none dared show it. She was the paragon of perfection.

Nothing good could last forever, though. When my love for Lisa started to transform into an obsession. When my habit of watching her from the shadows started to remind me of a creepy stalker. When my sleepless nights fantasizing about our impossible future started to affect my studying, I realized that my feelings had become a problem. And what you do with problems is solve them. I needed to get rid of this emotion that was controlling my whole being, making me into someone I didn't want to become. And the best way I knew to defeat a heart in love was to break that heart into pieces.

The solution was easy on paper but near-impossible in practice. I knew what I needed to do, but actually doing it was a battle I wouldn't win without struggle. I needed to confess my feelings to her. Then, upon hearing a hopefully harsh enough rejection, I'd have no choice but to accept my defeat. Hopefully then I could be over with this page of my life. Love wasn't something I needed getting in the way right now on the path paved for me by Mom: study, study, work, work, succeed her in her position. Romance could wait.

There was no way someone like me would confess his love under the watchful eyes of dozens of students. Hell, even just asking Lisa if she could follow me somewhere away from her friends would be a nearly impossible challenge for me to overcome. After many years of being ignored, I had developed a strong aversion towards starting even the simplest conversation, so what else could be expected of me? The only way to realize my plan would be to wait until Lisa was all alone, which wasn't as easy as it sounded.

Being a celebrity, Lisa had many people flocking all around her, even in our elite school. The only saving grace was that she didn't have a personal bodyguard, and so she was completely alone after bidding goodbye to her friends on her way home. Or, rather, on the way towards the car where her personal driver was waiting. Sometimes, she just called for him straight away after school and waited alone for a couple of minutes before his arrival.

For a whole two weeks, I followed Lisa after school. Of course, no one ever noticed me, even if I didn't really try to hide my presence. I wasn't a freaking ninja, but I just as well could have been one. Sometimes I wondered if becoming an assassin would be a better vocation than working so hard to become a CEO like Mom. It would be way easier, that was for sure.

Throughout those two weeks, I tried to muster my courage more times than I can count. And every time I thought that I was finally ready, my body betrayed me. My legs shook from nervousness. My heartbeat accelerated as if I was about to fight a grizzly bear barehanded. Almost physical pain stifled my chest, making it hard to breathe. I just couldn't do it.

It was the fifteenth day of my struggle.

Today, I'm going to do it for sure, I thought as I watched Lisa’s group from afar. It doesn't matter how hard it's going to be. I don't have the luxury of postponing it any longer. The end-of-term exams are less than a month away. I need to be able to concentrate on my studies.

Lisa and her friends had been shopping on 5th Avenue for the last hour. It was rather unusual for them to spend so much of their precious afterschool time, and I wasn't exactly thrilled about following them on their adventure. If I hadn't already decided to make today the day of my confession, I wouldn't have been so persistent.

The overcrowded streets of New York City didn't make me as uncomfortable as you'd expect from an introvert. In fact, I don’t think that the labels people put on those with different personalities are an honest reflection of reality. Each person is, in their own way, different. Some like to talk to people tet-a-tet and hate big gatherings. Others are comfortable giving public speeches, yet hate interpersonal communication. What made me truly nervous wasn't the noise, bustle, or crowds of 5th Avenue, but what was going to happen next.

Lisa bid farewell to her entourage. Usually, she had only three girls accompanying her, but today a boy had been added to the group. He was the boyfriend of the girl I named "Female Side-Character B" in my mind. I didn't like how he kept giving Lisa glances filled with barely hidden lust, but who could blame him, really? Other than his girlfriend, of course, who probably decided that this was the last time she was taking him with them.

With those four distractions out of the way, it was time for me to get a hold of myself. I gulped down a bottle of Sprite for the courage. This wonderful beverage reminded me of some of the best memories of my life. With shaking legs, I made the first step towards my destiny. As I approached Lisa slowly but surely, she took out her phone, probably to call her driver. Standing a little ways away from the road, she started talking to whoever was on the other end of the line.

I don’t know how long it took me to get myself all the way over to her. Each step was a challenge in itself, as my whole body felt heavy. My progress was made even harder by all the passersby who’d have bumped into me if I wasn't careful about avoiding them.

Both my mental and physical states were a mess. All the usual signs of extreme anxiety dominated my whole being, but I knew that I needed to prevail.

And that was how I came to be standing less than a couple of meters away from the girl of my dreams. My entire body was covered in sweat and my breathing heavy, and yet the hardest part was next. The fear of rejection almost made me lose my mind, in spite of the fact that getting rejected was my purpose in being here to begin with.

You can do this, Lex! I encouraged myself. It's not a big deal. It doesn't matter how much you stutter and how awkward you look. The result isn't going to change either way!

Okay, maybe I wasn’t very good at being inspirational, but it was enough to keep me moving. I took one last step towards Lisa.

"E-e-excuse me," I said in the most pathetic voice I had ever heard.

For better or worse, she didn't even notice my presence even as I stood right beside her, and my quiet attempt at conversation was lost in the noise of the street. Then I noticed that, in addition to this, she was still talking on her phone.

"I love you too!" Lisa said to whoever was on the line as her lips formed a contented smile.

As I heard Lisa’s words, I felt time stop. A part of me understood that it didn't confirm anything. Maybe she was just talking to her mother, father, or another close relative. Her comment didn't prove that she had a lover. It didn’t mean that even attempting to bother her with my one-sided crush would be blasphemous.

And yet, as if a part of me had just died inside, I couldn't open my mouth again. I felt an overwhelming sense of defeat. I knew that it was absolutely irrational and stupid. And yet, I couldn't help it. I just couldn't.

Lisa ended her conversation and returned the phone to her handbag. Then she turned her head and noticed me, a strange guy just blankly staring at her like a creep. Though it was atypical that she had noticed me, I didn't have the luxury to think about it.

"H-hello?" she called to me in a slightly confused voice.

I had always been someone who took pride in my self-control and discipline. Following a strict daily regime, taking cold showers, and doing yoga for three hours straight had been easy. I wasn't afraid of confrontations, either. And yet, when it came to dealing with my crush on the girl before me, everything changed.

For a moment, we just gazed at each other just like on the day of our fateful encounter. If Lisa’s crystalline emerald eyes betrayed any hidden feelings or thoughts, I couldn't tell thanks to my lack of social experience. What I knew for sure, though, was that this situation was perfect for helping me complete my mission. The fact that she was the one to initiate the conversation gave me the push I needed. In a way, she had cornered me. There was no way I could just ignore her and walk away now.

Just when I opened my mouth to greet her, my eyes caught something unusual behind Lisa. A white truck was rushing down the road much faster than it should have. The worst thing was that it was drifting towards the sidewalk.

Towards Lisa's position on the sidewalk.

As far as I could tell, I was fairly safe. I was still a little ways away from her, just enough probably to avoid the truck.

If I reacted in time and jumped back a little, I would be in no danger whatsoever. It would be completely different if I also tried to get Lisa out of harm's way, though. The most likely outcome was that both of us would die. There was just not enough time for me to move the two of us out of the vehicle's way.

Lisa was just a stranger. I didn't even love her, just the false image of her I had formed in my heart years ago. She didn't love me. Hell, I was pretty much sure she didn't even know my name.

And yet, in the split of a second, I made my choice. It wasn't the smart choice. It wasn't the logical choice. It wasn't the right choice, the choice my mother—the only person who really cared about me—would approve of. Still, it was my choice.

Perhaps, for the first time in my life, I made a decision free of influence by anyone else. And so I jumped in front of Lisa, pushing her away as far away from the road as I could. If I couldn't save us both, then I could at least save her. Objectively, from the universal point of view, her life was more precious than mine. Or at least I thought so. If she died, way more people would be sad than if I did.

I didn't even have enough time to feel bad for Mom before the white steel steed of death collided with my body. And, without even my life flashing before my eyes, the world around me was replaced with absolute darkness—the Void of non-existence.

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