《The House Witch》Chapter 67: Failing Sideways
Advertisement
Fin watched with a dazed smile on his face as mage Lee paced back and forth in front of him. The old man was stroking his beard frantically and had his staff clenched in his hand. His eyes searched the floor blindly for answers to questions the redhead didn’t feel overly concerned with.
“Lee?”
“What?” the mage barked abruptly.
“I’m feeling a bit hungry, I think I’m just going to step out to the festival and-”
“The festival… yes… wait a minute. You wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with the festival that randomly broke out would you?” Lee rounded on Fin with a mad glint in his eyes.
“Well, that is quite the accusation to make! I mean how could I, a lone person, start an entire-”
“Godsdamnit it was you,” the mage closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I need to advise the King to never send you out of the castle for errands ever again.”
“Nothing bad has happened! Don’t worry that pretty little mage mind of yours! Go with the flow, and ride the wave of life!” With a stupid smile still on his face, Fin clasped Lee’s shoulders and then tried to move around him towards the door.
He wasn’t having any of it however, and proceeded to rap the witch on the head with his staff.
“Snap out of it. I need to figure out a reasonable explanation for you asking after Madame Mathilda so that you aren’t a person of interest to her…” Lee resumed his thoughtful pacing.
“What if I want her to be interested in me?” Fin countered before a look of horror crossed his face, his smile finally eradicated. “Oh no. That sounded terrible. Please know I didn’t mean that way! I can’t have her thinking that I’d ever be interested in anyone else I-”
“Who can’t you have you thinking you’re interested in anyone else?” The mage turned around hastily and gave the redhead his undivided attention.
Fin slapped a hand over his mouth and shook his head like a child who had eaten something they shouldn’t have.
“Ashowan, do you by chance, have a woman whom you are courting?” A slow smile started to light the mage’s face.
The redhead continued shaking his head.
“Affianced then?”
Fin paused, then frowned, finally removing his hand from his mouth. “I don’t think we’re any of those things… at least not yet, though I suppose that was implied. I mean, I hope it was…” It was the witch’s turn to begin pacing with a frown, leaving the mage to watch in awe.
“So, Mr. Ashowan, you’re having difficulties with the fairer gender, hm?” Lee scoffed. “Well I knew it was a matter of time. You need a woman to goad some sense into that head of yours, though I must say, I already pity the lass that decides to put up with you.”
Fin stopped his pacing and let out a wistful sigh. “She’s amazing. I think I’ll go see her.”
The redhead had just strode past the mage when he found himself being halted by Lee’s grip on the back of his tunic.
“Hold it there, you idiot. We still need to find a way out of this mess.”
“Oh, for Gods' sake,” Fin sighed exasperatedly before slapping Lee’s hand off his shirt and lunging for the door. Throwing it open before the mage could stop him he called out;
“Ms. Nonata! Please come baaaaa-ow!”
Lee had successfully clubbed Fin in the ribs, and thrown him back into the room, but it was too late. The damage was done.
Advertisement
Elizabeth Nonata strode back in and regarded both men coolly with Fin hunched over his middle, and Lee looking even more agitated than before. Rounding her desk, and seating herself back down, she made no move to retrieve the quill she had laid down before.
“So gentlemen, what have we decided?”
Fin opened his mouth and mage Lee once again attempted to cover his mouth again, only the redhead was ready for that, and so the two ended up in a childish scuffle that had Elizabeth Nonata pursing her lips and raising her eyebrows.
“I’m looking for whoever paid off or told Sultry Sandy to distract me. She interfered in my business, and I figured the only person who could’ve had that say over her would be your Madame. I didn’t mean to irk the owner of the house.” Fin gave a small bob of his head, the drug had evidently worn off enough that he no longer needed to smile incessantly.
Elizabeth Nonata seemed to consider the argument carefully before replying.
“Sandy is under the protection of this house, and that means I cannot allow you to question her. I can however promise she will not interfere in your business again.”
“I need to know who she was covering for.” Fin jumped in before mage Lee could stop him.
“Sandy was most likely aiding a client, and if it is a client, we will protect his or her privacy.” The assistant stood, her dismissal of the two imminent.
“She interfered with another client, and I believe it is my right to know.” Fin held his ground then.
A sardonic expression overcame the woman’s face as she eyed Fin from head to toe. “Pardon my saying so, but you do not have the means to be a client here, that much I can tell.”
Not caring a whit that he had been condescended to, Fin crossed his arms and stilled his features.
“Not myself. Mage Lee. We are looking for the men together, however he was taking a… dinner break with his wife.” Fin cleared his breath while ignoring Lee’s strange guttural noise that was a mix of an outraged denial and a pleading whimper. Fin guessed that the elder was bordering on apoplectic.
Letting out an agitated sigh, Ms. Nonata pointed to the door. Her answer was clear.
Slowly, the two men left her office without another word. Lee looking pained, and Fin crestfallen.
As they walked, the redhead noticed the guard that had escorted him up hung back by several feet, but followed them all the same. As they strolled for a wordless moment along the upper floor staring down into the pit of excitement below, the redhead suddenly slowed his pace.
“I really do need to find out who Sandy was covering for. It’s a hunch but-”
“Wait a moment. Do you mean to tell me you just risked the wrath of a crime lord based on a hunch?!” Lee's distress rose substantially.
“A good hunch! C’mon you know my hunches are good.” Fin looked around at the cheery glowing lights of the room in a daze.
“What I know Mr. Ashowan, is that the Goddess must’ve laid down horseshoes in the soles of your feet for all your damn luck.”
The witch sighed while ignoring mage Lee’s strange compliment. Not only had he failed, but he had angered Annika in the process.
Not to mention that, according to mage Lee, he would most likely be followed for a few days and potentially roughed up at some point just to be sure he learned not to bother Madame Mathilda’s house.
Advertisement
Yet somehow, despite his failures and pending trouble, he still had an oddly good feeling about the night. Then again, the drug was still singing in his blood... at least the initial wave that had made him unable to control his face had worn off.
The men descended the stairs down to the first floor, only to find that it had grown even more crowded as people enjoying the festivities had filed in to close off their nights in the arms of a woman or two.
As Lee and Fin attempted to shoulder their way through the crowd, they found themselves being herded closer and closer to the wall furthest from the bar where several men had their mouths attached to the women’s necks, or their hands wandering over places that would’ve earned them a hearty slap in polished company.
They had made it about halfway through the room, when Chloe broke free from the crowd, pulling with her an inebriated middle aged man with rosey cheeks. He was well dressed- most likely a merchant, and had his mustache waxed straight.
Fin stopped, his euphoria unable to properly process the emotion that tore through him.
Mage Lee’s gentle hand on his shoulder appeared immediately. “I know it doesn’t seem right, but we cannot cause more trouble than we already have.”
Just then, the man stumbled as he cleared the last ring of patrons, sloshing the contents of his cup- a red wine, all over Chloe’s dress.
Releasing his hand and giving a small gasp, she stared down at the stain that began at her breasts and ran all the way down her front to her hemline.
“Ahh don’t worry, dress won’t be on yeah long!” The man proceeded to half shove the young girl against the wall in front of the two onlookers, completely oblivious to their presence.
Fin moved before Lee could stop him, he seized the man by his shoulder and thrust him back. The guard that had been tailing them was held up in the crowd, though he tried valiantly to move faster.
Still holding his shoulder, Fin flashed a predatory smile down at the man who was at least half a foot shorter than him, and slight of build.
“What is the meaning of-”
“Ever seen a ritual killing?” Fin’s words paired with the maniacal glint in his eyes made the gentleman visibly gulp.
For a long drawn out breath, no one knew what was going to happen, until Fin suddenly adopted the most flamboyant voice Lee had ever heard, and suddenly popped his hip out.
“Because handsome, that’s what this dress looks like it’s been through! The fabric needs to be washed immediately! Chastity darling, please stay as you are, we don’t want that wine staining anything else. Now, how about you be a dear and go grab a clean towel, vinegar, and laundry soap from the barkeep. This hunk of gorgeous here will go help you!” The redhead gestured towards the guard who arrived and appeared equally as stricken as the mage who watched with his mouth agape.
“W-Who are you?” The merchant asked, as he tried to reconcile the murderous man who had first grabbed him, and the effeminate pansy who was kneeling in front of the young prostitute tutting over her garb.
“I’m the Head of Housekeeping here! Madame Mathilda’s house doesn’t get its sterling reputation for nothing! All the girls must be as shining and perfect for our esteemed guests.” Fin gave a flourished wave over his shoulder as the man stared back and forth between the redhead and the guard who looked equally confused.
“Chop chop! No time to waste- we cannot be having Madame Mathilda waste money unnecessarily on such things!” His words worked in motivating the drunken man into action as he turned back to the crowd. The guard was clearly uncertain about whether or not to leave Fin alone with Chloe, or to protect and help the patron who was looking at him expectantly when faced with the wall of bodies.
He eventually chose to help the paying customer after his second unsuccessful attempt to head towards the bar, leaving Fin, mage Lee, and Chloe alone.
Shifting the black robe that had absorbed a good amount of the wine, Chloe stared down at Fin with pursed lips.
“Why’d you have to do that?” She asked with tears beginning to rise in her eyes.
“This is chiffon. It’s expensive, and you would’ve been in more trouble for ruining this than that man’s night.” Fin informed her with his usual voice.
“R-Really?”
Fin looked up at her. He doubted the truth to his words, but the truth would’ve burdened everyone.
“Yes.”
Standing up, the redhead peered over the heads of the crowd and was satisfied to see that the guard and patron had just reached the bar.
“Are you out of your mind?” Mage Lee demanded in hushed tones.
“It’s a bad stain!” Fin defended heartfully.
“Is that why you looked ready to snap his neck?” Lee demanded.
“I was not-”
“He will take that woman to bed Fin. You can’t stop it.”
The silence that ensued made the mage turn to study the redhead who looked so openly broken that it caught Lee off guard. Looking to the young woman who was trying to pull her skirts taught to avoid the stain spreading, Fin felt a helplessness settle in that he didn’t like one bit.
“Is… is that woman the one you were-” Lee began, referring to Fin’s love life from earlier.
“No. No she isn’t. She just is too young to be here. Most girls her age are looking for husbands... Unless they truly have no choice.”
“Much like Hannah. I understand why you-”
“Who?!” Fin’s head snapped towards the mage so quickly he could’ve given himself whiplash.
“Your kitchen aide. After you started joining in on the war council discussions, I investigated your aides. The blonde one, Hannah? Her father was a nasty drunk. Tried to sell her off when she was fifteen… he died before the deal could go through. She had to raise her brother though, so she found work at the castle- but you must already know all this. Why are you staring at me like that?”
Fin’s eye twitched. “Remind me to bake that woman a pie.”
“I don’t think pie will-”
“Well it’s something!” Fin’s drug addled brain was too stressed to handle such heavy topics.
The guard and patron who was hoping to share a bed with Chloe reappeared then, much to Fin’s disgust and relief.
“Here,” the guard thrust the towel at Fin, along with the vinegar.
“Perfect, thank you darling. Remind me, what’s your name?” The redhead had resumed his flamboyant persona when he addressed the brothel's muscle.
“Errm... Name is Gord.”
“Gord, you scrumptious devil, please see if you might find another garment for Chloe here!”
“Chloe?” The merchant stared confused up at the young woman who suddenly looked fearful.
“Ah! My mistake! My mother’s name; you know, Chastity here just makes me think of her! Tell me, what’s your mother like?” Fin asked the patron as he dropped to his knees again and began dabbing at the fabric.
The gentleman blinked several times, the color in his face draining. After a few moments he finally managed to say;
“M-My mother never really paid me much attention growing up… it was more about my brother…”
“Oh, dear. That can’t have been nice, was your father any better?”
“N...No.” The patron suddenly looked as though the weight of the world was pressing heavily against his shoulders.
Fin looked to him in sincere sympathy.
“You’ve struggled a lot then?”
“I have. I’ve made a name for myself, and I ship the finest goods from… from…” he trailed off, sorrow marring his face. Gord the guard proved to be a feeling sort as he reached out and patted the merchant’s shoulder sympathetically.
Mage Lee watched astounded as once again, the witch affected his surroundings in the most baffling way imaginable.
“Oh, Lee, why don’t you make yourself useful and get a chair for the guest.” Fin called out in a mothering tone.
The old man looked at Gord and the merchant who appeared to be lost to their memories, making them consequently useless before turning his gaze up to the ceiling. He realized it was time to seriously consider if the redheaded witch in front of him was in fact correct in his belief that mages were, in fact, cursed.
Advertisement
- In Serial131 Chapters
Ebony Chitin - Eclipse
Richard Adams is something of a talented alchemist. One of the few magical professions that have anything to do with some kind of science. Everything was going swimmingly, until the 'cold night' incident happened. With it being determined as his fault, that such a thing happened. He was promptly exiled until he could return to Eclipse with a new 'discovery' for his field. What he didn't expect; was that he'd run into a strange humanoid monster that could seemingly heal any life threatening wound in a matter of seconds. Certainly this would be what he needs to become a master alchemist. The first step on a multi series journey. Please excuse the earliest chapters and their poor grammer. Ebony Chitin follows Richard Adams, and Mimi on their Journey to understand each other and the world around them. Due the the exploratory nature of such a claim, it will cover many different topics. This was my first attempt at actually writing a story, and because of that I will not edit it. I'd suggest reading the second part as it comes out as most of the things within this book will be recapped. Though if it becomes popular I hope it might inspire some of you readers to write your own stories. Cover Art by Rose Dragon
8 152 - In Serial16 Chapters
Poké-Journey
Daniel Earnhart is fifteen, two weeks away from his sixteenth birthday. And that means two weeks away from beginning his Pokémon journey! But of course, it all goes wrong. And before he knows it, he's stranded and alone, with only the Pokémon he's been so lucky to partner with to help him survive. Will he survive this brutal beginning to his journey? Can he turn it around, and can he even thrive? Join him as he makes his way through Sinnoh, fighting his way through circumstance, rivals, gyms, and even the occasional criminal, and truly becomes a Pokémon Trainer! I've modified the world of Pokémon heavily. There are some elements from the games, given that's what I'm most familiar with. But overall, I've tried my best to turn it into a real world. Frankly, I don't know how well, I've done that, but here it is. I will happily take suggestions and advice! I will admit, that I already know what the whole team is gonna be. I will happily accept guesses and I'll even promise to let you know if you guess right! Thank you for reading and enjoy!
8 154 - In Serial46 Chapters
Pawns of God
Five Lines PitchJoin Mark in his fight against a God and change the game's destiny! Delve into a slow-paced story focused on the progression of the main party and the development of the world. Mark himself will be narrating his life inside the game, and to a much lesser extend outside. Guild building, economy, and strategy are the central pieces of the novel. Mark is not overpowered, he will have to build his own power through action-packed battles, trials, traumas, love, and death. Accompany him, the healer and the strategist, an agent of chaos, in the adventure of his life. Without further preamble, I will let Mark take the mic. SynopsisHi! My name is Mark. This is my story, my life as I live it day after day. I’m in my thirties, and there’s nothing I love more than playing online games. I’ve just joined the action on the newest VRMMO game, Pawns of God. An immersive experience you can play while sleeping. Of course, as a game that takes pride in its long development and technological advances, everything inside seems and feels real. Beware, this is not a game-turns-real story. I love my own world and I would detest being summoned into another one. If that ever happens, I’ll just quickly take my life and be done with it. I play with my friends, in a party of 5. We have taken several roles, but lately, I've come to love being a healer. It's my secret ambition to someday be the shotcaller. I am not overpowered. If there is any bug or exploit in the game, they are yet to be discovered. Anyhow, for a game of this scale, the company is pouring all of its resources into test servers, QA, and beta tests. I don’t expect to find any, so I’ll be playing the game just like any other person. I must say, though, I am easily distracted, as you will immediately notice once you start. I'm working on it, I promise to improve! I am no hero. Being in my 30s, my heart is too old for this shit. I wouldn’t mind being one, of course. Who hasn’t dreamt of it? Either way, I’m not doing any grand quest to save the world. Whatever the game throws to their users, I’ll be there to experience it. Most of my life, at least the interesting parts that I’ll be narrating, happen inside the game itself. Rarely, there will be some IRL (In Real Life) chapters. You’ll understand, however, that as a freelance software developer, there is not much I can entertain you with when outside the game. Did I say I love games? Well, I’m also a fan of LitRPG literature. You know, journeys of magic, relationships, personal development, items, skills, discovery… In the spirit of not overwhelming my public, I’ll condense each chapter into circa 1500 words. You might have noticed some tags over this story, let me elaborate. I like to swear. I’m not shy when it comes to cursing my enemies, friends, or even myself. When there’s blood, I tell it as I see it. And… it hurts to admit it, but I’m not a casanova. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I won’t ever find love. So, in case I do end up finding it, let’s keep my sexual options open. As for traumas, none yet, but the future is vast and unknown. Release Schedule The schedule is subject to change, particularly if enough readers end up loving it. All chapters are already written, thus there is enough freedom to modify them. Arc 1 * Chapters 1-14: Each released one day and an hour later than the previous. Starting with chapter 2 at 09:20 UTC+2 on day 1, and finishing at 21:20 UTC+2 on day 13. Elapsed: 2 weeks Total: 2 weeks * Chapters 15-30: Releases every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday at 11:30 UTC+2. Elapsed: 5½ weeks Total: 7 weeks (1 month, 3½ weeks) * Chapters 31-49: Releases every Wednesday and Saturday at 11:30 UTC+2 Elapsed: 9½ weeks Total: 17 weeks (4 months, 1 week) All subsequent arcs will follow the same release schedule, 2/week. No hiatus will be done between arcs 1 and 2.
8 211 - In Serial7 Chapters
To the End
In his second year of high school, young critic and amateur writer Terrezia Guls finds himself in another world. Certain tags pending.
8 82 - In Serial7 Chapters
Another World Priest
Musa is an ordinary man living on earth. But something unexpected happened after he sleeps and guess what? He awakes on another world! Being unfamiliar on another world is a bit difficult but, surprisingly, he got some amazing powers and great knowledge from the most unexpected things like... Animes and Mangas! This is the story of a man who, from being an ordinary man, is now well-known throughout many places as [Priest] or [Divine Hero].
8 136 - In Serial12 Chapters
Who Fixes Books Anyway?
On the pretense of a raise, the relatively new employee Pernie is called in to talk with her superiors. NOTE: This is a short story written for a class I took recently. As a result of deadlines, it does not possess the quality (or length) that I would like and is rather thrunkated. Perhaps sometime far in the furture I'll fix it up. For now, I have much more important things to work on, such as my other fiction.
8 218

