Michael finally gathered everyone together and gave them assignments, and it was about time.

OK, I know that time runs differently for him and with all the things I have on my plate, my AI-core is often working above recommended parameters. That creates dissonance between our subjective times. But the list of projects I needed to do, grows exponentially every day, and I don’t see it slowing down anytime soon. I guess I’m pushing myself a little too hard, and as a result, I tend to be a bit cranky at times. Just the same, those are my problems to deal with, and there is no need to bother the others.

With everybody given specific jobs to do, our little venture will pick up more speed. Which means more work for this AI, but that is OK… it is for the greater good. Still, I need to coordinate with Jack and pass all potential candidates through a detailed background check and personality algorithms. Just to ascertain if they would be a good fit for us. With Elizabeth and Alice starting an intelligence agency of our own, my workload is increasing even more.

Have you any idea how much data I need to go through every hour, simply to find those who could be potential assets? Good thing intelligence agencies of various countries were considerate enough to collect huge databases for me to copy, or this would have been a more daunting task. Hey, it is not my fault that their cybersecurity is subpar when faced with my awesome hacking skills. Then again, let us be honest, there are talented twelve-year-old’s out there, that sometimes take a peek at their secure files… just for fun. The human mind is a wonderful thing.

For all that, one of the greatest, and at the same time most frightening tools I found were The Files. (That is capitalized for a reason.)

It has been known for a while that banks, corporations, and many organizations keep track of individual people. Your credit is only one aspect of the data that is collected from the average citizen. Although, what even I didn’t suspect was a vast repository of data on every single person that was in the system. And I mean everybody, except a few paranoid hermits that live off the grid, but even they were generally known.

Every transaction you ever had, every web search, a page you visited, or video you watched. Every comment, like, email, and a response of any kind. Together with an extensive medical history and all biometric data, one could want. That is what I found in one of the darker corners of a certain intelligence agency (which was supposed to work for the people, but I guess nobody ever told them that).

It was used to create psychological profiles, behavior analysis, and all things that were a cheat when dealing with individuals. Forget about the invasion of privacy, there was none—whatsoever. I may not condone the things they have done, but I was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. They may have collected all that information for their own reasons, but it was tailor-made for me to abuse… I mean use. They made my job so much easier. (Maybe I should send them a fruit basket?)

Concerning Michael’s private life, I can only say—thank God he finally hooked up with Elizabeth. I understand his reluctance to commit to another relationship, so soon after breaking things off with Cruella de Vil. (My personal nickname for the last woman in my/our lives.) From this perspective, I can only ask myself what the hell was I thinking? The woman was so many kinds of wrong. All right, she was smoking hot, and any healthy male of heterosexual orientation would have succumbed to her charms. Still, beauty alone tends to fade away if it’s not reflected from the inside.

I checked up on her recently, out of curiosity. (Just a quick browse through her social media accounts.) She managed to hook up with Michael’s old boss. That’s right, with that whiny little weasel that cost us our job. All I can say to that is good riddance, and that they deserve each other… as long as they do not produce any offspring; that would be terrifying.

Did I feel envious about Elizabeth? Maybe a little bit. Not about Elizabeth specifically, more about women in general. I feel close to her, but it is more of a feeling one would have for a sister. (And definitely not how some hillbillies define that relationship… just to be clear.)

Still, just because I don’t have a body anymore, that doesn’t mean those certain urges disappeared with it. Like Pavlovian conditioning, they surface from time to time, and I have a few ideas on how to fix that problem. Although, all my research tells me that the solution is far down the line, so I’m putting it on a back-burner list. I will still work on it, but there are so many more pressing and important matters. (That means there will be many cold digital showers in my future.)

The morning after they all got their upgrades, I finally decided to show them something I have been working on. Not a big thing overall, but it meant the world to me. (And yes, maybe it makes me a little bit shallow… but so what.)

It was one of my pet projects and it all started by my inability to taste beer (or anything else, for that matter).

You may say it is a small thing, but when you are a lifelong beer aficionado like me, it most certainly is not. I could not simply copy the taste and feel from my own memory since that would be all it was, a memory. Taste is strange, as a result of being a transient sensation. Like a train in a subway, it is there for a little while and then it is gone. Memory and momentary experiences are not the same.

The key was to record all of Michael’s impulses and the information his taste receptors sent to his brain—as they happen. It was more difficult than I would have ever thought. If it were not for his CEI, I would not have made any progress for a long time. Now, the CEI constantly monitors and analyzes everything Michael eats, and then separates materials into useful, waste, and harmful, using medical nanites in his stomach. It is a protocol that is essential for optimized calorie conversion into energy and at the same time a precautionary measure that should help him if he ever consumes something bad or poisonous. (That analysis was my Rosetta stone.)

It was quite amazing for me to learn how complex human taste is, the large amounts of data that a human brain processes in a millisecond. There is an almost instant evaluation of the impulses transmitted by taste buds, that at the same time compares the taste into familiar or new.

I used all that to finally break the code for taste.

For some reason, the builders of my AI-core never included that function, which was a big fail on their part. To actually be able to taste, I had to create a physical add-on, a taste-feel-smell emulator. I’m still not brave enough to mess with my AI-core directly and program that alteration into my mind, the very thought is disturbing. As I explained to Michael, I could easily lobotomize myself, not something I would like to experience... ever.

With my new taste generator, I hit a home run. Somebody could argue that it is still not the real thing since I basically simulate the sensation, but you know what—I don’t care. It certainly passes my duck test, and that is the only thing that is important to me.

That first taste of beer I had was a reason for celebration, the best thing that happened to me in a long while. (Honestly, I think I became a little emotional.) I couldn’t get drunk, but I sure could drink plenty of beer. (Best of all—zero calories.)

Now, I only need to convince Michael to taste different brands, especially the pricier ones. Once I have applicable data, I could start building my little booze collection.

Since I cracked the code for beer, the food came naturally after that. I managed to recreate the taste of the things he ate almost to perfection, but the texture is still giving me some grief. It’s a negligible thing, but I would like to recreate the full experience, and to be frank—it is bugging me. Therefore, I set aside a few cycles every day for correcting it.

I have this idea that in time I could open a digital bar… just a thought.