Chapter 20:

Professor Tauri forced the students to jog for the rest of the class. Half the class couldn’t do it, but Tauri forced them to walk laps around the track instead. Kithina trailed at the back, her limbs floundered in the wind as she wheezed for breath. While Kithina had a curvy figure, she was by no means overweight, her family couldn’t afford being overweight even if they had tried. But, she hadn’t done much physical labor either, opting to help as a scribe’s assistant to her dad.

Kithina didn’t know how much more of this she could take. Her legs felt like lead. The other two dwarves were even walking ahead of her, but not by much. A small figure passed her. What irked her the most was him. The goblin, Stryg. Somehow, he had managed to come in first. It shouldn’t have been possible, she would have sworn he would have placed last. Instead she was at the end of the line and he was running circles around her, literally. He was several laps ahead, jogging at a constant speed, never slowing, his eyes to the ground. She didn’t understand how he could keep that pace up.

Stryg didn’t notice Kithina’s confused glances or the envy shared by some of the others. His mind was somewhere else. He always had the least endurance, been the weakest and slowest. No matter how much he trained he always fell behind the other goblins. He could never keep up with the hunters when they went on their morning runs. Now, he was jogging for almost an hour and he only felt a bit winded. What had happened to him? He remembered how Karen, the goblin traitor, had told him she had seen him running like the wind. Had his body started changing back then? He was so focused on surviving in this city that he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t realized how much of a freak he really was.

Stryg always wanted to be a goblin worthy of the name. Now he wasn’t even a goblin. Just an oddity of nature. He knew he was an outcast, an exile of his tribe, but he had always held hope of returning home. Being a mage would definitely help him get back in the good graces of the tribe. But, now, that path was closed. They wouldn’t accept a half-goblin.

Tauri rang a whistle to motion the group to stop. “Alright, you’ve all done great. Especially, you Stryg. You are the only one of your classmates who’s actually in shape, great shape at that. But, don’t expect I’ll go easy on you either,” the orc laughed.

Stryg tried to make himself as small as possible. Everyone was staring at him with mixed expressions. Great, as if he needed to be even more different from everyone else. The bells rang in the distance.

“That’s it for today. You should all go get cleaned up before your next class,” Tauri advised.

Everyone split off, heading to their dorms or the baths. Callum walked up to Stryg.

“Hey, I know you must feel like your whole world is falling apart. And I know we don’t know each other very well, maybe it's not my place to say anything. But, I’m here if you wanna talk, to answer any questions, or if you just need someone to listen. We hybrids have it hard enough, no need to face the world alone, too,” Callum said with sympathy.

Stryg was surprised at the gesture of kindness. It was rare in the tribe. Not that he was part of a tribe anymore.

“...Thank you. I appreciate it,” Stryg said.

Callum grinned, “May the moon bless you on your journey.”

“And may the stars light your path,” Stryg managed a smile.

---

Stryg had intended to take a quick bath, but the ingenious hot water coupled with his struggling thoughts had left him in the shower for almost an hour. After a swift change of clothes Stryg ran towards a marble dome shaped building. It was different from the rest of the architecture, there were no windows. The dome’s large steel double doors were wide open. Stryg entered just as the bells rang. He had barely made it on time. At least he wasn’t late, he tried convincing himself.

The building was a single large open room. It was dark and the floor was cold, there were no torches on the walls. Besides the open doors, the only source of light was from a dim magestone on the ceiling. This place really was filled with amazing creations. Stryg’s classmates were all sitting down on large pillows in a circle, centered around a human woman.

She was quite old. Wrinkles had set over her face, her white hair was tied in one long braid. She wore the black robes that Stryg had learned to identify as belonging to a mage. A silver necklace, with a sapphire, hung from her neck. Stryg had noticed the different color gems before, but he now realized that it probably had to do with the wearer’s color of mana.

The old woman’s droopy beige eyes watched him, “Young man, please close the doors on your way in.”

“Yes, of course.” Stryg did as she said. This woman was a mage, he needed to behave well with her.

Once the doors closed the dome was bathed in darkness. The ceiling’s magestone glowed softly, barely illuminating the silhouettes of everyone. Even a goblin or vampire would have a difficult time seeing anything.

“Please make your way to one of the open pillows and sit down. Take your time, you don’t want to bump into anyone,” The mage asked kindly.

“Yes.” Thanks to his perfect night vision Stryg had no problem finding an empty spot. He let her know when had sat down.

“Now that we’re all here, allow me to re-introduce myself. I am Professor Ismene. I will be leading you all in your journey towards meditation. This building is called a meditation dome. You will find several around campus, albeit at far smaller sizes. We use these domes to help focus our minds by taking away external stimuli. The environment around us can be distracting, but here sound does not travel from outside and vision is limited. A perfect place to focus and meditate.”

Stryg didn’t agree with her last statement. He could clearly see everyone and the interior marble walls of the bare room. Plus, he remembered how Cruvor, the Blood Fang’s shaman, meditated, by making a girl go down on him. Stryg didn’t know if the old goblin had been doing it right or if he just wanted to get a blowjob. Stryg was leaning towards the latter.

“The purpose of meditation is to help train the mind. You have already had class with Prof. Tauri. So, you must know how important the body is. The mind is even more so. It is through our mind that we channel our will, our determination and desires. Without it, we are nothing. The mind can be your greatest weapon or weakness. It all depends on how you choose to nurture it. We train our mind through meditation, and by doing so, our magical skills as well.”

“Everyone here is a mageborn. Our bodies naturally absorb the ambient mana around us. Yet, none of you are aware of that mana. You cannot see it, smell it, taste it, hear it or touch it, mana is ethereal. But, I will show you how to sense it within yourselves. First, I need you to take deep breaths and relax. Try to empty your minds of any distracting thoughts,” Ismene explained.

Stryg had a hard time doing so. He had taken the chance to look and study everyone in class without being noticed. No one could see his eyes going from one face to another. His eyes eventually landed on the redhead dwarf. Kithina was her name he recalled. She was mean towards him, no doubt wishing to assert her authority over him. Stryg wouldn’t let her, she didn’t even seem very strong based on the results of the race earlier. But she was pretty. Freckles dotted her cheeks and nose. Her emerald eyes stared intently at the professor, hoping to catch a glimpse of wisdom, despite being completely blind in the dark. Stryg’s eyes wandered below as he looked at her sizable bust and wide hips. He had to retract his earlier thought, she wasn’t pretty, definitely beautiful.

“It would be easier if one closed their eyes,” Ismened added.

As if admonished, Stryg closed his eyes. He needed to focus, ogling could come later. The room was empty save for the occasional noise of someone moving on their pillow.

“Professor Ismene?” Stryg cracked an eye open.

“Yes?”

“Is there a difference between how a shaman and mage meditate?” Stryg couldn’t help but ask.

Professor Ismene smiled, although only Stryg could see. “There shouldn’t be, since shamans are magi. Magi have gone by many names in the past, shaman, wizard warlock, and more. Nowadays, most of the Ebon Realm calls us magi. Now, let us focus on letting our minds wander free, let your emotions go.”

Stryg didn’t understand how to do that but he closed his eyes anyway. Staring at Kithina’s breast probably wasn’t the way to meditate. He had difficulty freeing his mind of thoughts. He kept thinking of his hybrid origins. How had no one in the tribe known? Outsiders weren’t permitted inside the village. So, how could the one who sired him gotten in, much less slept with his birth mother.

After 20 minutes of silence, Ismene spoke in a whisper, “Without moving I want you to try and feel your heart pulsing. Blood coursing through your body. Look for that feeling and once you find it, don’t let go.”

Stryg tried to focus on finding the beat of his heart. It wasn’t hard. The loud beating of his heart ringing in his ears was commonplace. How many times had he pushed his body to its limits trying to train and compete with the others? How many times had he fought and lost in sparring matches? How many times had he run for his life in Vulture Woods or in Hollow Shade? He was supposed to let go of his emotions, but all he could feel was anger. He was angry at himself for trying so hard to impress those who didn’t care for him. Angry for still wanting to return to the village even if now there was no chance he could. Why was he doing this? Why was he here trying to learn magic? Why did he put up with the students’ mockery, their looks, their insults? What did he really want out of this?

Something changed within. A feeling, almost as if alive, stirred in him. Stryg could sense it, waiting, begging to be released, as if it was held down by Stryg’s own indecision. A painful pressure began to build in his chest. He gasped for breath. The others turned towards him. Stryg was grateful that none could see his pathetic state. His hands and knees were on the cool marble floor. Sweat dripped from his brow as he tried to breath, it felt as if his lungs had collapsed, only the smallest wisps of air coming in and out.

“...Meditating can be difficult. Focusing on one’s heart is the first step in controlling the mana within you. It will take some time but with practice you will gain control. I want you all to continue practicing your meditation by clearing your mind and listening to your heartbeat twice a day, once when you wake up and the other before you go to sleep. We will stop here for today. Do be careful on your way out, it is quite dark. Class dismissed,” Ismene said.

The students got up and slowly made their way to the doors. Stryg laid on the ground, his breath returning a little at a time. He couldn’t even speak if he wanted to, let alone move. Ismene grabbed the cane next to her and pushed herself to her feet.

She made her way to Stryg and whispered, “The ethereal energy we call mana resides in our chests, it is why I said to focus on your heartbeat. But, you went a step further. You found the mana within yourself. Instead of trying to clear your mind you focused on something else, anger and pain, perhaps, judging from the way your body reacted.”

“The reason we meditate is to empty our minds, helping us to focus and achieve our goal of having control over our own mana. While that goal hasn’t changed throughout the years, the way of achieving it has differed in many regards. Emotions can help you find and control your mana just as well as clearing your mind. The stronger the emotion the stronger your focus. You must have suffered many hardships in your life to find your ethereal energy on the first try. But, emotions are volatile, prone to irrational thought. Intent is everything when it comes to magic. The mana within you responded to your will, your pain. Obviously, it reacted negatively and left you in this sorry state.”

Ismene patted his head, “This is why I tell my students to let go of their thoughts during meditation. It may be hard to do and take time to master, but it is the far safer option, and in the long run you will achieve better control over your mana, as well. Our academy is open minded to the practices of magic, so I will not prohibit you from trying to channel your emotions instead of traditional meditation, but you should know the risks that come with such a choice.”

Ismene stood up, “I need not explain those risks. Your body has clearly already done so.”

Ismene hobbled away, leaving Stryg alone in the dark dome.