《The Law of Averages》Volume 2: Chapter 6 — Adulting
Advertisement
"Look Merrill!" Dan said, pointing at his screen. "Connor's famous!"
The tiny furball scurried up Dan's arm and planted herself on his shoulder. Beady little eyes gaze down at the laptop on Dan's desk, and the website he'd opened. Connor's face was plastered across the front, a wide shot of him and Freya leaving a house that Dan didn't recognize, both in full police uniform. Connor's hand was partially shielding his face, but Dan could see the scowl beneath it.
A second picture had the pair entering their cruiser, with about a dozen people gawking at various distances in the background. Dan could see more than a few phones pointed in their direction, to say nothing of the voyeur who'd taken this shot and sold it off. The website's name was Po-Po-Pinups, and was the internet equivalent of a local tabloid magazine/forum, focusing on the APD and its members. Connor and Freya, both being scions of wealthy and politically connected families, as well as some of the department's newest initiates, drew large amounts of attention. His boyish good looks, and her statuesque beauty, only served to inflame the absurd media machine.
Merrill took in the scene, and chittered in Dan's ear.
"Humans are weird," Dan agreed amicably. He'd learned about the website last month, when he'd met Connor for lunch and spotted a man with a camera trailing the younger man. The police were basically D-list celebrities in Dimension A, and despite the general respect, awe, and even fear that the populace held towards them, it did little to dissuade nosey paparazzi looking for a payday.
Dan's face had briefly appeared on the website, alongside an elaborate speculation of a homosexual tryst between the two men. That line of conjecture had died in its infancy, after a community member had pointed that Connor was 'so far out of that other guy's league they aren't even playing the same sport.' Reading that had been just... ouch! Right in the pride. Some infantile part of Dan had demanded a response to the statement, and now he was the proud owner of a shit-posting account on a tabloid forum.
Truly, Dan was living his best life.
He scrolled down to the bottom of the screen, where comments were posted, and noted the date. The picture had been taken just yesterday. Perfect. Connor and Freya were scheduled to have dinner at his place, tonight, to celebrate Abby's return home from Georgia. It would be the perfect opportunity to give them shit for their new celebrity status. The forum was already going wild with theories on what the pair of lovebirds were doing at that house. Most theories revolved around swinging; despite their attire, none involved the poor couple's actual job as police officers.
Advertisement
Dan closed out the window, before his brain was permanently damaged by exposure to the uncensored insanity of the internet. He'd already experienced more than his allotted share of things that ought not exist and humanity ought not know. Even entirely disregarding his own origin and powers, there was an entire sub-forum of the site dedicated to Gregoir. If Dan had accidently clicked that, he might have to buy a lead-lined case to quarantine his laptop. And then hurl it deep into space.
It's the only way to be sure.
Dan shut down his computer, and gently clicked it closed. He ran a mental checklist of what else he needed to accomplish, today. Groceries, done. Everything was ready for Abby's party. Chores, finished. He'd finally gotten around to fixing his A/C. The thermostat now operated at temperatures between Antarctica and Texas. The lawn was mowed. His grass shined. His yard was the envy of the neighborhood.
What else?
Dan pulled out his phone, and accessed his emails. He flicked through the sparse personal correspondence, and quickly read an email from Margaret. It seemed that Abby's aunt would not be able to make the party. She claimed other plans, but Dan suspected the little old lady didn't want to spoil the fun of the younger crowd. He really didn't want to know what she thought he got up to at his house parties. That woman had a twisted mind.
He pocketed his phone. Drummed his fingers against his desk. Thump thump thump. His leg bounced restlessly. Merrill, sensing his building energy, scrambled down his shoulder and across the carpet. She nestled herself atop the living couch as Dan jumped up from his seat, a wide smile on his face.
"No more responsibility!" he announced, spinning to face the little mouse and pumping both arms in the air. "It's flight practice time!"
His phone chimed. He paused, keeping one arm suspended uncertainly as he fished the device out of his pocket. He checked the text—
13:02 CornyGraham: Got job for you. Bro needs delivery. Txt back asap if available.
—then slumped. His other arm flopped own against his side.
"It's work time," he grumbled to no one in particular. Merrill chittered in what Dan liked to imagine was sympathy.
Cornelius Graham needed something delivered. Actually, his brother needed something delivered, and Cornelius knew a guy. Dan had never met Connor's father. The man was a former policeman, and a current member of the House of Representatives. Dan knew little about local politics, and wasn't particularly keen for that to change, but doing a favor for a friend was hardly a big ask.
Advertisement
It was a little odd that Congressman Graham needed a courier, especially one with Dan's specific capabilities, but Cornelius' message had indicated urgency. Dan quickly fired back a text quoting his price and size limitations, and asking for a location for pickup. The picture of a dark parking garage that he received moments later did nothing to relieve Dan's confusion.
After a brief bout of paranoia, Dan texted a reply.
13:05 Daniel Newman: how many did I miss at Sinner's?
13:06 CornyGraham: Missed 5. Good caution. Now come.
Well that was decent enough proof. Dan doubted he was being lead into anything illegal or dangerous. He trusted Cornelius, more or less. But this was clearly a little more than standard police shit. If things went sideways, he just hoped he got a cooler pseudonym than Deep Throat.
He blew the picture up, looked at the surroundings, then willed himself there. Dan didn't have the slightest clue where the place was, but his Navigator took care of those annoying things called 'details'. If the location existed, Dan would appear there. And so he did.
His feet were suddenly on hard concrete. The light was dim, cast in shadow. It was a sprawling parking garage, with massive concrete pillars running from floor to ceiling. There was no wind at all, but he could hear the sound of moving cars somewhere above himself. Dan spun in a slow circle noting the almost complete absence of cars and people.
There was a single SUV, all black save for the APD symbol emblazoned on the driver's side door. The door popped open, and Cornelius Graham stepped out onto the concrete. He approached Dan with a broad smile, keeping a thin manila folder tucked under his elbow and extending his hand to shake. Dan took it, wincing at the man's grip as his entire arm was pumped up and down.
"Fast as advertised Danny-boy," the man said jovially. "Keep it up. Here." He passed over the folder. "To the FBI field office, off Bering street. You know the place?"
Dan nodded uncertainly.
"Excellent!" Cornelius pointed a finger at Dan's chin. "Give it to the receptionist, tell them it's a priority request from Congressman Graham, for Agent Dunkirk. His eyes only. You got that?"
"A priority request from Congressman Graham for Agent Dunkirk's eyes only," Dan repeated, furrowing his brow. "This really isn't the kind of delivery my business does, Cornelius."
The older man waved his hand dismissively. "This is just a one time thing, my friend. It needs to be done quickly and somewhat discreetly." He squinted at Dan. "You can do discrete, can't you?"
Dan scowled.
"Of course you can!" Cornelius offered. "Now go! Time's a ticking." He clapped Dan over the shoulder, spun around, and hopped back in his vehicle. The SUV peeled out of its parking place, and swerved around the corner of the parking garage. Soon it was out of sight.
Dan stared down at the manila folder in his hands.
Well then.
He had a job to do.
The FBI field office was much the same as it was the last time he'd visited. It was oddly thrilling just going right in through the front door, like a normal, totally legal citizen. The lobby was a square, unadorned space almost sterile in its cleanliness. It smelled lemony fresh and the slate grey tile looked freshly mopped. The reception desk was a solid chunk of dark stone, intimidating and unfriendly. The receptionist was an older woman, with pursed lips and stern eyes.
Dan flounced over to her with a smile. "Delivery," he announced, placing the manila envelope on the desk.
She glanced at it. Her voice was flat and unimpressed. "Mail goes 'round back."
"It's a priority request. Agent Dunkirk's eyes only," Dan explained quietly. "It's from Congressman Graham."
The receptionist's eyes dipped back down. Her scowl deepened. "I'll page him."
Dan spent a lovely minute-and-a-half enduring the cold stare of the older woman, while Agent Dunkirk made his way to the front of the facility. There was a door of opaque glass just to the side of the reception desk, the only door in the room aside from the entrance. Finally, it clicked, and opened.
Someone strode out. He was a broad-shouldered black fellow, with short cropped hair and a jaw that could be used to hammer nails in a pinch. He wore a crisp suit and tie, shined shoes, and a holster on his belt. Helpfully, a laminated identification badge dangled from his neck on a lanyard, with a picture of his face and a name: Thomas Dunkirk.
His gaze swept the lobby, resting briefly on Dan, before falling on the manila envelope. The man's eyes widened ever so slightly.
"Ah," he said simply, before striding forward. He swept the envelope into the inner pocket of his jacket, then strode out without a word.
Dan blinked at the abruptness of it all.
"If there wasn't anything else...?" the receptionist said.
"Um." Fuck it, Dan. Embrace the brusqueness. "No."
He spun on his heel, and vanished.
Advertisement
- In Serial106 Chapters
Legends of Balarel - A Leisurely LitRPG
Glenn Redwood has longed to become an Adventurer since he was a young boy, and has focused every waking moment on that goal since turning 14. Answering the challenge of the Gods of Balarel, he has fought Monsters, Leveled, and grown stronger. Yet the day before his 16th birthday, the day he will earn his dream or lose it forever ... the Gods have made a wager. And no mere mortal wishes to draw the attention of the Gods. ***** This is my crack at writing a leisurely LitRPG. My focus is more on telling interesting stories set in a world where people live under a MMORPG-like ruleset enforced by the Gods, and less on writing another story where the MC gets massive stat boosts every chapter before heading off to wreck the world. There will be plenty of blue tables (it’s LitRPG!) but my Adventurers are just starting out. This fic is about the journey, not the destination, so expect everyone to Level ... leisurely. Updates: M-T-W-Th. I’ll post 3000-4000 words a day, or 12000-15000 words a week. If this posting pace ends up being too much for me, I reserve the right to slow posts down a bit. Inspirations: Blessed Time (Royal Road) Is It Wrong To Try To Pick Up Girls In a Dungeon? (Anime) Trails in the Sky (JRPG Series) MC: My MC is a genuinely good person who’s both a talented warrior and tactically savvy. He prefers to solve problems without violence but will resort to force if necessary to protect his friends or innocent people. I’m tired of stories starring anti-hero MCs facing endless doom and gloom, so I wanted to write a nice guy with an adventurous spirit who helps people in a thriving fantasy world. That’s all.
8 115 - In Serial20 Chapters
Wait? did you say the Demon Lord was a...?
Daron had lived through 2 lives before so now, in a third, he has everything he needs to become great. It's just a matter of fighting his way to the top with what he now knows, but that might be a bit hard when he has to start from the very bottom. From the F- ranked monster the Horned Rabbit, to something great, but it isn't like it's impossible after all the Demon King in his last life was a Horned Rabbit too...
8 161 - In Serial195 Chapters
[Cryoverse] The Last Precursor
One hundred million years ago, an unknown cataclysm rendered humanity extinct. After conquering seven galaxies and becoming a super-civilization, terrankind vanished from the cosmos. Time passed. Their animal descendants (Cats, dogs, and crocodiles, among others) all evolved and Uplifted themselves to become the new overlords of the Milky Way. But the newly Uplifted were not ignorant of the past. How could they be? Countless records lay scattered among the stars of the ancient Precursor civilization which came before them. Their ancient facilities and installations dotted countless worlds. Their superweapons fell into the hands of the Uplifted, and countless wars followed. Once the Uplifted established their empires, a tenuous peace followed. Finally, it seemed as if the old wounds had begun to heal, leaving only a cold war that stretched on for several centuries. But what they did not know was that one human had survived. One last Terran, a super-soldier employed by the most powerful military humanity had ever conceived. Jose Rodriguez awakens from stasis sleep to find himself alone, his entire species wiped from the universe. He is the last living Terran. He is the Last Precursor. Do you like Astartes? Do you like Deus Ex? Ever read Chrysalis? What about this music video? How about this one? If you enjoyed several or all of the above, you will enjoy The Last Precursor :)
8 199 - In Serial17 Chapters
Of course he is (A Sanderssides human AU)
***This is the third book the first is "am I really though" the second is "monster" ***Everyone was in a happy place. But....Romans PTSD is acting up and he keeps freaking out.Remus keeps thinking about the past and its catching up to him. Logan is terrified with the news of his parents deaths, knowing it was murder and someone was out to get his family. Patton tries to keep his smile but being back at the school doesn't make anything easier. Virgil...he's terrified of everything and everyone. Janus, he's still terrified of bugs. Will things get better or worsen?❗️this has not been edited and there are a lot of plot holes in this series so if yah notice something feel free to comment about it so I can possibly fix when I finally go about doing so! It's a mess of a series so just good luck❗️
8 112 - In Serial9 Chapters
Trọng sinh chi thiên kim độc phi
重生之千金毒妃Tác giả: Sa Mạn YêuConverter: Mễ TrùngTTV: http://www.tangthuvien.vn/forum/showthread.php?t=145495Văn án:Nàng là tôn quý tướng phủ đích nữ, dung mạo xuất chúng, thiện lương dịu dàng, chính là...Nàng đối xử tử tế di nương, di nương lại hại chết mẫu thân của hắn; nàng đau tích thứ muội, thứ muội lại đoạt nàng phu quân; nàng đến đỡ trượng phu, trượng phu lại làm cho nàng thai tử trong bụng...Mẫu tộc bị giết, nàng chết không nhắm mắt, khấp huyết thề, nếu có chút kiếp sau, nàng nếu không làm kia chờ lương thiện người, nhân nếu phạm ta, diệt này cả nhà!Trọng sinh mười bốn tuổi, nàng nghịch thiên sửa mệnh, di nương ngoan độc, nàng so với di nương ác hơn độc, muốn Thừa tướng phu nhân vị trí, hừ, biếm ngươi làm thông phòng, thứ nữ kiêu ngạo, thích tra nam, đi, đóng gói đưa ngươi trên giường, tra nam nghĩ tới chiếm tiện nghi, có thể, cho ngươi đoạn tử tuyệt tôn, làm hoạn cẩu!Trọng hoạt nhất thế, nàng nói cười yến yến, thân thủ đem hãm hại của nàng di nương thứ muội đẩy mạnh hố lửa, đem tra nam thải tiến bùn đất, đem vô tình ngoan độc phụ thân lạp xuống ngựa bối, chính là cái kia ai, ta giết người, ngươi đệ cái gì đao?Tác giả nhãn : lịch sử truyền kỳ
8 188 - In Serial13 Chapters
[Edit - Showbiz] Nữ thần học bá - Điềm Đường
Tên gốc: 學霸女神的娛樂圈生活 Tên convert: Học bá nữ thần giới giải trí sinh hoạt Nữ thần học báTác giả: Điềm Đường (Julysa) Thể loại: giải trí, trọng sinh, ngọt.Tình trạng bản gốc: Hoàn (154 chương)Tình trạng bản edit: ĐANG EDITP/s: 1v1, sủng, giải trí, nữ chính trọng sinh.
8 174

