《Again from Scratch》94. The Cost of Decisions
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Tercius had once read that it was difficult for people to admit to making a mistake, and even when confronted with irrefutable evidence of the error most would still choose to double down. It was in human nature to be in the right, seemingly at all costs.
To add complexity to the issue, he couldn't blame her, but he could easily see his own mistakes.
Was it a mistake to pick her up? he thought as he looked at Amber. Her soulful eyes made it more difficult to even think about it. His decision to take Amber with him had been a spur-of-the-moment decision. What had been going through his head at the time, right now he had no idea, but Tercius of half a year ago knew the same thing that Tercius knew now. All decisions had a cost that would be paid, eventually.
All of them.
Some were paid in full, all at once, others in increments, slowly.
“Amber…” he sighed, as slow steps guided him back under the tree. Strewn about the grass, the small crystal, the scroll, and their container, were thrown away like dirt in his sudden frenzy. If Mistress Helfira learns of this blasphemy… he thought as he used his free hand to properly tidy the items and place them in their proper place.
Amber squirmed in his other hand all through the process, meowing while looking up at him. He could swear that she felt his thoughts, as her distress became almost frenzied.
His hand kept reaching to pet and scratch Amber, but he pulled it back. Careful of his actions, he prohibited his fear, curiosity, and most of all worry, to show. Even this was a decision that would have consequences. From forest green, his eyes became bright neon green and then a green that was just a few shades above white. All the while he kept quiet, his breath as steady as he could make it, as his wide-open eyes observed Amber.
Another decision had to be made.
An important one.
Usually, he would go and make a decision like that while Meditation was active, but… He didn’t dare allow his emotionless self to make a decision of this caliber. There was this cloud at the back of his mind, a wind of whispers that said that he would learn a truth that he was still unprepared for.
If he was honest, he knew what his conclusions would be, even without the skill. There was a strong part of him that wanted to erase it all, to restart, to make sure his back was covered and weak spots protected. To make sure Amber couldn’t be used against him.
But…
Tercius had taken a few steps down that slope a few months back. Somewhere out there, wild carnivores were strolling through a forest, their bellies filled with the efforts of his actions. He didn't need Seliana or Lux to tell him that his decision had been the right one. He knew it wasn't the right one, and he had known it every day since. But… It was a necessary one, and that was enough for him.
Do no harm to others… for as long as others do no harm to you, was something that was agreeable with all parts of him. It was a reasonable enough policy, he felt.
And Amber, sweet and innocent, was the last one who would want to do harm to him. The potential for a disaster was there, no two minds about it, but if he dealt away with her, on her mere potential… Prevention was the best cure, but not for this. Not ever. A rush of shame filled him for even considering it.
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“We need to do something about that, little one,” he murmured as his eyes softened a bit, the crow's feet easing back. “You need to use up—” he waved a finger at her and tried to use Energy Manipulation to tug at the Energy in her body, to no avail. “—all of that. Until then, you will have to stay out here. You will have to hide. We will have to hide,”
It took a while for her to understand what he was saying. The skill they shared might have made her more receptive to his words, probably even enhanced her intelligence, but she still had a long way to go. Why? Amber asked, almost meekly, and for a while, he simply stared at her, stunned.
Closing his eyes, he realized his foolishness. This was a barely mature river lion he was "talking" to, not a human. Tercius wasn't sure that even an average human could comprehend the severity of the situation so, slowly and with great care, he explained to the best of his ability, in several repetitions, where and how things stood.
“What you have now, in you, is precious. It’s desirable. Rare," he said to Amber, who agreed with him immediately. She could feel its importance, in a way he couldn't. When she sent that desire to him, he was reminded of that time in the Skill world, when he felt the presence of that Energy from the crystals. What she felt was so much more, and in comparison, his own experience felt like a tasteless rendition. "And others … creatures, like crocodiles, snakes, and even those big fishes with teeth, would like a piece of it,"
I bet they would, Tercius interpreted her messages along those lines. But it's mine.
Snorting, he continued, “I know that it’s yours… now. Earlier, I was just…” he cleared his throat. “As you can see, creatures rarely respect the privacy of others, especially when you have something they want. Something they envy you for. What if they try to eat you to get it?”
I will run away and hide, she answered, as if speaking to an idiot, her previous meekness almost gone.
“Ah! But does it have to come to that? What if you can prevent it? If you hide that part away, you will never become a target in the first place. Isn’t that more efficient?” he argued, trying to convince her.
The questions sent Amber into a long silence. No emotions or sensations came his way, through the bond, and he guessed that she had failed to understand.
In a moment, he was proven wrong. Surprisingly, she did something that almost floored him. Neck and head bent down as her front shoulder muscles grew taut under her scales, seemingly prepared for a leap only to relax in the next moment. Maybe, she sent. It was a gesture he had only imagined on her, but now he actually saw it and he understood its meaning. She didn’t know the answer, so she shrugged in her own way, as far as her anatomy allowed her.
The gesture was a powerful shock in itself, but for her to actually think and then come up not with yes or no, but rather an answer that ran parallel to “I don’t know, maybe?”
For months now, the answers she gave had been instinctive, emotional, and sensational, from tactile to audible and even a few times visual, but this one… It looked and sounded like something he would do and say or think, and not a palm-sized kitten.
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“You are a lot more intelligent than you look, aren't you?” he said, absentmindedly.
The communication flowed between them and as far as he understood it, she had felt the Energy lingering on her end of the bond, and she scooped it up via a skill similar to his own, most likely. Her action was a reaction he and anyone else would probably have. A thirsty man cares not for whose well he is drinking from, just that he is drinking. Tercius was a lot like Amber in that regard, an ignorant man drinking from a mysterious well.
He asked himself, what he would do if he were in Amber’s paws. If he had come across something like Energy lying on the ground, what would he do? Probably pick it up and claim it. Would he be reluctant in returning something extremely needed and useful to its previous owner if the said owner came and tried to reclaim it? Most certainly.
It was an instinctive need, one strongly bound to survival, and he couldn’t begrudge that to anyone.
He understood the other side completely. But… This wasn’t like the situation with J’ro, where only his own life had been at stake. He could play with his life as he liked, it was his to do with, after all. Right now, Amber couldn’t go with him back to the Pyramid in this state, nor could he bring her back with him to Seliana’s home. She was a small beacon in the night of his ocular skill, a feline-shaped light of white Energy that was visible for anyone in the area to see. Anyone with a skill, that is.
If only she could hide it… he thought as his gaze scanned the distance. Like mages… hide mana… wait… maybe… “Uhh… she did do it easily, this time around… so…” he whispered, not daring to raise his voice. There was a thought forming in his mind, a bright, yet gentle form. Sitting up he started pacing, one hand cupping his chin. “Hmm…” Murmurs of meaningless syllables left his lips, as his eyes flashed repeatedly.
“Amber!” he said, finally clear of mind.
Crouching like a monkey over the prone creature, he started asking her questions about how she did what she did. With all the darkness his mind had seen, the light had been placed in the second spot, almost forgotten. The entire conversation they shared was fraught with misunderstandings and often he had to break down concepts for her to understand, or make up metaphors about eating, sleeping, or any other life-related actions that could get the message across in a more precise fashion. As far as he could tell, she had no real idea what happened, nor why it happened, but she could feel that it was a positive outcome for her.
Tercius decided to try to replicate her steps and see if he could figure it out by himself. He even had a small guess about it…
A long visit to Flu left his eyes red and arms trembling, but in return, his Well was filled to the brim with Energy— so much that he felt physically bloated. Dragging the Energy out of his Well was a new sensation, one that evoked memories of magician's tricks and long ropes pulled out of nowhere. Spinning and weaving the Energy as he dragged more and more out, he only repeated one word in his mind. Mine.
Amber had done it, after all, and she had done it seemingly effortlessly.
“Mine,” he said, filled with conviction and desire for it to be so. For years he had known of this Energy but never before had he any desire of possession. The Energy was never his in the first place, after all. For Tercius, this Energy was like water. Who would lay claim on water itself? When thirsty, drink, and that had been that. Until now.
“Mine,” he growled from the back of his still developing throat, and the white Energy shifted of its own volition to become what he wanted it to. A fire was ignited and the forest got caught. From a great height, Tercius observed as the fire spread in all directions leaving ash and cinders behind.
A change. It swept away the old and ushered in the new, through a swift transformation. What he did was not a skill, he realized, at least not yet. At best, it was an ember of a skill. The forest had been dry for who knows how long, and he came along and lit a match. The dryness was responsible for the rest. But when he learned to do at least a part of that by himself…
Glancing down, he felt the Energy moving in his chest, his arms and legs, his neck and head. Closing his eyes, he let himself feel alive and free of breath and weight, ready to fly if the summer breeze asked. His body drank in the Energy, even as it slipped past Tercius and made its way to his skills, old and new ones. And… Tercius shook his head gently as if to taste it once more. It wasn't Energy he was feeling, but the influence the Energy had on him. He didn't see the thrown stone, but rather the ripples on the water surface. Slowly, those ripples eased themself in all parts of him, irrigating his whole being. This Energy… he thought as he focused on the sensations.
This Energy wasn’t something that would linger in his body for as long as the other one did, he could tell. This Energy had a place to go to, a call to answer to. It had a home and it was not the Well. Spurred on by a moment of clarity, he started doing to Energy Sight the same thing he did to Mana Sight. A switch, I need a switch, he thought as he imagined the final result. The result was swift, quite literally.
Energy Sight [20] is now Energy Sight [21]
A wave swept him and a moment later almost all of the Energy had left him, as his skill went past the first barrier. A mission had been assigned to the Energy and it rushed to obey.
Energy Sight [21]
A sense that allows for visual inspection of Energy. Every skill level increases the effect by a small degree and lowers the cost of its use by a small degree.
Not even surprised by what happened, he took a small part of what was left of the Energy in his body, and he pulled it out, leaving himself lessened by a small amount. A tiny white star shone for his eyes only and Tercius shaped it to his whims and wishes.
Energy Manipulation [23] is now Energy Manipulation [24]
A part of the Energy in him disappeared, used to fuel the skill growth and he continued using the knowledge he had acquired from his teachers to shape the bright Energy construct in his hands.
Energy Manipulation [24] is now Energy Manipulation [25]
Considerably spent, yet still energetic, Tercius turned his attention to Amber and her issue. First, he collected a few smaller stones from the surrounding area and made a small basin out of them. Taking out all of the water he had in his backpack, he filled the basin and turned to Amber. "Amber, you need to use your skills. Use them as much as you can, the more skills used, the better,"
Glancing up at the sun, he estimated the hour of the day and prepared himself for some intensive training. They are used to my tardiness by now, he thought, thinking of those back at Seliana’s place.
Once she started playing with water, Amber was in a world of her own and that had left Tercius free to return to his original practice. Turning Energy he collected from Flu into his own was such a simple step, but the impact that little step had on skill level growth was incalculable.
Holding onto the crystal that had the ability to morph mana into a specific kind, Tercius tried to do the reverse of what he had been trying to do for these past few months. Instead of changing his neutral mana to another type, he used the crystal to change it, and then he tried to reclaim his mana.
“Mine,” he said and wished and that little twist was the last speck of sand required for his skill. With a turn of his wrists, the mana that used to be his own shifted of its own volition and returned to a state it was extremely familiar with.
You have learned the skill: Mana Metamorphosis! Obtain Yes/No
A fire ignited in him as his muscles spasmed, and he clutched his chest. His heart felt on fire. In a single moment, all of the Energy he had was simply gone. The skill had vacuumed it, instantly. He imagined the scene that was going on inside the skill world, right about now.
Yes, he thought and the message disappeared.
Mana Metamorphosis [1]
The ability to metamorphose Mana. Every skill level increases the effect by a small degree and lowers the cost of use by a small degree.
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