Chapter Thirty-One - Ready Teddy

Teddy was ready.

The Boss had been real cool about finding a place to hide away and get changed while they were on-route to the place where Homie was hiding from the Boss.

Sure, it had been in a public restroom out by some gas-station, but Teddy didn’t mind. The place had really interesting smells in it.

So, fully kitted out with her fearsome cartoon bear mask and her yellow sundress with the pockets, Teddy walked next to the Boss while the Boss looked at her phone a bunch.

They’d gotten Alea Iacta to find out where Homie would be by tossing darts at a map on the back of a thai place pamphlet. That was really cool, and some of the food on that pamphlet looked real tasty too. Maybe they were like pizza.

Teddy added something on her list of things to do in life. It wasn’t very long yet because she’d started it just recently after seeing the Boss make lists about all sorts of things.

Hers was so short she had memorized the whole thing:

Make the Boss happy Sleep next to the Boss for a full day Eat a capitalist Eat food from every place to find out which one was the best Go to a zoo with the Boss

Her life goals weren’t going to get done if she didn’t help the Boss catch that weasely Homie guy though. “We almost there, Boss?” Teddy asked.

“I-almost, I think,” the Boss said. “I... don’t think this is a very busy part of town.”

It really wasn’t. They’d been walking past a bunch of homes with the occasional apartment complex sprinkled in. There were stores and stuff, but they were all little things. A butcher’s here, a hairdresser there. Nothing too cool.

“I think it’s supposed to be there,” the Boss finally said as she pointed out across the street. She looked at her phone a bit more, then nodded. “Yes, that looks like the right place.”

The right place turned out to be a little corner store, of all things. It had signs out front for beers and stuff like that, and a couple of older guys sitting on a bench, both drinking out of some paper bags.

“Man, that’s a lame place to make a villain base,” Teddy said. “When we get a super secret base, it should be a lot cooler.”

Emily made a noise that sounded like a really lame growl. Teddy was a bit embarrassed about it, but she didn’t want to point it out to the Boss and make her feel bad about her growling. She’d show her how to do it later.

“Should we go in and try and see if we can find that Homie guy?” Teddy asked.

“I... no, not yet. Let me call Melanie first.” The Boss moved over to the side and started tip-tapping some stuff onto her phone.

Teddy shrugged and moved over to the edge of the sidewalk and plopped herself down so that her legs could stretch out between two cars. She still had a good view of the corner store in case some fat capitalist tried to sneak out of it.

“Um,” the Boss said. “Melaton is on her way.”

“Cool,” Teddy said. “So, what’s Homie look like anyway?”

“Uh. I... don’t know?”

“Huh,” Teddy said. She stuck a finger in her nose to clear it out. “Well, maybe we should ask? We should know what our prey looks like.”

“R-right, that’s a good idea,” the Boss said.

Teddy basked in the glow of occasionally having good ideas while she continued to wait. The Boss tip-tapped some more, then knelt next to Teddy to show her a photo. “This is Homie in-costume,” she said.

The picture wasn’t the best. It was all smudgy and the angle was kinda lame, but it did picture some guy with a print bandana around his lower face and a big blue beanie atop his head. His clothes looked like they were two sizes too big, and he had a bunch of chains around his neck for some reason.

“That’s a lame costume,” Teddy said. Even her pimp outfit had more flair.

A car pulled up to the corner store. It was impossible to miss, what with the heavy, bassy music thumping out of it and the lights mounted under it that made the street below glow yellow. Teddy looked at the guy who stepped out of the car, then down to the photo.

The skin colour was right, and the height looked right, but the bandana was different and the beanie was green. “You think that’s Homie?” Teddy asked.

“W-we need to hide!” the Boss said.

Teddy blinked up at her, then looked around. They were behind a pair of cars, only just able to see because the loud car had parked itself directly ahead of them. “We are,” Teddy said.

“Oh, oh right.”

“So, we gonna go get him?” Teddy asked.

“Um,” the Boss said. She was hesitating, which wasn’t good. Predators had to be decisive and strong.

“I could get him real fast Boss. I bet his power’s weak out in the open.”

The Boss nodded, but put a hand on Teddy's shoulder when she started to rise. “Let me text Melaton first,” she said.

Teddy nodded and stood up slower. “Tell me when you’re done, Boss,” she said.

“It’s sent.”

Teddy grinned a big bear grin, she took in a deep breath, then she roared as she ran across the street.

She didn’t see the truck until the Boss screamed and the truck’s tires squealed across the pavement.

***

Homie was almost done. He’d gotten the chump driving him around to the right place and was pulling the laptop out of the back seat. All he had to do was give it to the guy waiting for him in the shop and he’d be done for the night. Then it was back to the club and to the ladies.

And then, because life hated him, he heard someone screaming from across the street.

He looked over to see some kid with a cheap plastic mask running across the street, her arms above her head with her hands stretched out like claws. She was going “Raaagh!” over and over like... well, like a kid pretending to be a bear.

He was ready to dismiss her when a lorry came out of nowhere and thudded into the girl with a dull, meaty thwap that sounded loud even over the squeal of its breaks.

Harold stared at the scene for a moment, taking it all in. The fallen girl, the other kid with a mask on screaming behind her, the Truck-Kun Fantasy Delivery Service logo on the side of the van.

“Oh, shit,” he said.

He was ready to tear off his mask and see if the kid was alright--he was a criminal, not an ass--when the girl turned into a bear.

“Oh, shit!” he said with a lot more emphasis.

The bear shook its great mangy head as if clearing it out. It looked up to him and they locked eyes for a moment.

The bellowing roar it let out was a friendly reminder that he’d skipped using the washroom before heading out.

His ride bucked once as the driver put it into gear and blasted down the street while ‘Gangsta Gangsta’ boomed out of its speakers.

Homie was left on the sidewalk with nothing between him and a ton of angry bear except for the bag holding the laptop.

He did the only sensible thing and spun around on a heel and started running.

***