Chapter Twenty - Backstage

Teddy swished a curtain aside and stepped backstage.

The area wasn’t what she expected from the rear of a theater. There were big closets on wheels and dozens of thick ropes coiled on the ground and reaching up to a bunch of pulleys mounted to the ceiling.

The floor went from a nice polished hardwood on one side of the curtains to rough plywood covered in coloured tape on the other. Even the air smelled different, from clean and dull to the mixed smell of too-full trash cans and the lingering odour of popcorn.

In the middle of all that were two guys. One a tall, well-muscled black guy and the other a reedy pale person that Teddy immediately labelled as Alea Iacta out of costume. They both paused to stare at Teddy.

“You don’t need to stop arguing because of me,” she said. “I can wait.”

“Who are you?” the not-Alea Iacta guy asked.

“I’m...” she stopped herself from saying any more. The Boss had been going on about secret identities for a while. “I’m Not A Beargirl.”

“Oh, shit,” Alea Iacta said. He took a long step back and away from Teddy, only for her to freeze him on the spot with a glare.

“You know this kid?” the guy asked.

“Yeah,” Alea Iacta said. “I mean... no.”

Alea’s friend shook his head. “Kid, how did you get in here?”

“Through the curtains,” Teddy replied.

“No, I mean in this building.”

“Oh,” she said. “I asked directions from some communist comrades.”

Alea stepped up and tried a smile on. It was a weird-looking one though, all nervous and uncertain. The Boss smiled like that sometimes too. “Are you, uh, here for me?” he asked.

“Yeah. The Bo-- person we work for needs help,” Teddy said very stealthily.

Alea’s friend looked between the two of them, then with a grunt, he jammed a finger against Alea’s shoulder. “You get your crap together, Jacob. Take whatever this is outside. In fact, you can stay outside while you’re at it.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry,” Alea Iacta said. “I’m doing better, you’ll see.”

“Uh-huh,” the big guy said. He turned to Teddy and looked her up and down. “You trust this idiot?” he asked.

“Not really,” Teddy said. “But I can kick his butt if he tries anything.”

He nodded. “Good. If he does do anything, you tell me and I’ll pop his head right off his stupid shoulders, you got that?”

“Yeah, okay,” Teddy said. “But I can do that myself.”

He snorted and moved off towards the back of the room. “I’ve got my eye on you, Jacob.”

Alea Iacta, whose real name Teddy presumed was Jacob, swallowed, looked to her, then swallowed even harder. “We need to talk,” she said. “The Boss needs you for stuff.”

“Ah, what kind of stuff?” he asked. “Because I have a life you know. Things to do, people to see and all that.”

“None of that matters,” Teddy said. “The boss is gonna be beating up some lame dealer guy cause he stole something that kinda belongs to the Boss. Now the Boss needs a costume to beat him up in, and she needs cannon fodder.”

“I could maybe help with the costume?” he said.

“You could help with both,” Teddy assured him. “But I think the costume is more important for now. The Boss will need to move soonish.”

He licked his lips and looked around the room for a bit. “Look, I don’t know why you think I can help that much. I did my part to pay your... Boss back for what I did. That was it.”

Teddy didn’t like where the conversation was going. Alea Iacta seemed to be backing out of the deal he made with the Boss and that just wasn’t cool. But Teddy was a clever girl, and she knew about the carrot and the stick.

If someone hit you with a stick, you ate them, and if they hit you with a carrot, you ate them and then the carrot.

“You can’t just back out from helping the Boss,” Teddy said.

Alea Iacta puffed his chest out and made himself bigger. He looked like someone shoring up all of his bravery.

“Because if you don’t help the Boss,” Teddy continued. “I’ll eat you.”

His bravery puffed out of him like a particularly squeaky fart. “I... I’ll show you to the costume room,” he said.

Grinning, Teddy followed him as he scurried off the one side of the stage and towards a corridor that jutted out of the back area. There were a few rooms there with plaques over their doors telling people what was inside. It wasn’t a particularly nice corridor, with pipes running along the ceiling and the light coming from the sort of fluorescent bulb that flickered just enough to bug Teddy’s eyesight.

“Here,” Alea Iacta said as he gestured to a door marked ‘Costumes.’ It was between ‘Make-Up’ and ‘Men’s.’ in the corridor.

“This is where the cool costumes are?” Teddy asked.

Alea Iacta nodded along. “Yeah. It’s where I... borrowed mine. I figured if I was going to go test my luck, I might as well do it in style, you know?”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Teddy agreed.

Alea fiddled with the handle and it clunked open, then there was more fiddling as he searched for the lights against the walls inside. When they came on, it was to illuminate a room filled to the brim with all sorts of clothes on hangers and racks that ran against most of the walls. The far wall had a couple of stalls that Teddy guessed were for changing, like those at the thrift store.

“Do you have any idea how much trouble we could be in if we’re caught?” he asked.

“No,” Teddy said. “But the Boss needs a costume so it doesn’t matter.”

“Might not matter to you, sure,” he said. “I’m in a heap of crap if people find out. Just... don’t pick anything too ostentatious, alright? They might notice if something like that goes missing.”

Teddy didn’t know what that word meant, so she nodded and started looking over the costumes. Most of them were easy to dismiss right away. They were all old-looking, and while that was okay for Alea Iacta’s own costume, it would probably look a bit silly on the Boss.

“Do you know what you’re looking for?” Alea Iacta asked as he stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. “‘Cause I do have things I want to get done today.”

“Important things?” Teddy asked.

“I do have a job, you know,” he said.

She looked over at him, his hands currently stroking the soft velvet-ness of a big ball gown. “Someone hired you?” she asked.

He huffed and looked away from her. “I’m hirable,” he said.

“Did you use your luck powers to find a job?” she asked.

“You’re too nosy for such a little brat,” he said. “Now what are you looking for?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Something that will make the Boss look cool and intimidating and scary. Do you have any bear costumes?”

“Look, I won’t pretend to know your Boss all that well, but the only bear costume we have looks like a mascot thing and... yeah, no, I can’t imagine any girl wanting to look like that.” He moved over and past her, then kicked open a trunk. “Last year we did the Greater Gatsby. It was like the Great Gatsby, but if he had powers and... yeah, nevermind.”

Teddy moved over and peered into a truck full of folded cloth. Most of the costumes were simple and black, though some had very sparkly fabric.

Alea pulled out a very small dress, the kind that Teddy figured would only cover the boss to mid-thigh. “Something like this, maybe?” he asked.

Teddy imagined the Boss wearing something like that, then dismissed the idea. The Boss liked wearing clothes that covered her more from what she’d seen. Looking back down, she saw a mask sitting next to a fedora. It was made of a material that matched a loose suit beneath. “What’s this?” she asked as she lifted both up.

“Uh,’ he said. “That’s Baker’s hero costume. The writers shoved this whole side plot in with her and... yeah, nevermind, it was kinda trashy.”

Teddy held the costume up. It had straight-cut pants and a black vest. The Boss probably had a blouse that could fit under it all, and if it was a little loose on her, then that was okay.

“Yeah, this will do,” Teddy said.

“Really?” Alea Iacta asked. “I mean... yeah, great. Here, shove it in this.” He reached over one of the racks and pulled out a bag, then he dumped its contents on the ground and pushed them to the side. A bunch of folded-up rain boots clattered to the floor.

Teddy shoved everything in the bag, then turned and pointed to a big jacket by the back. “And that too.”

Alea looked up, then his face went strange. “That’s a pimp jacket,” he said.

“Is a pimp a kind of big predator?” Teddy asked. The jacket was very furry after all. Though she didn’t think there were that many purple animals out there.

“Uh... yeah, sure.”

“Cool,” she said. “I can use that for my costume.”

Alea Iacta opened and closed his mouth a few times. “You know what, sure. You just talk to your boss about it first.” He took the jacket off the hanger, grabbed a big matching hat from above it, and shoved them into her bag.

In the end, the bag was full to bursting, with a sleeve trailing out behind it, but it all more or less fit.

“Okay,” Alea Iacta said. “You’re all geared up. Now please leave and never return.”