New theory: Kreig really must be some sort of time-travelling caveman. That can be the only explanation as to how he’s able to go until his late 20’s (early 30’s?) without ever learning how to ride a bike. Either that, or he just grew up in a region so poor that he never had access to a bike. Assuming such a place still exists.

Erica racked her brains for an explanation while Kreig fumbled around with the bike, trying his best to get back on it despite his legs trembling.

In other words… Kreig grew up in a poor, rural village in some random country (Russia? He is very pale, after all) where everybody knew everybody and that kinda stuff. There, he only did two things: physical labour (obviously; look at him!) and art. Then, one day, some guy (probably a government official or undercover FBI or something) came around on some mission or whatnot and stumbled across Kreig, who was clearly a modern master of arts.

Whether he then kidnapped Kreig or not is uncertain, but what is clear is that Kreig went on to become some highly valued secret artist for only the highest echelons of society. To the rest, he was a total unknown.

Well, it was this theory or Kreig as a time-travelling caveman. Either one was similarly likely.

After falling one more time from the bike, Kreig finally just put it to the side, turning to Erica with a desolate look on his face. “Forgive me, but I doubt I could ever tame such a contraption.”

“Huh?” Those words roused Erica from her mindless pondering. “Oh no, you’re not! I can’t let you join civilized society without knowing how to ride a bike. Come, come, I’ll teach you, fair disciple…”

Somehow, her words didn’t seem to comfort Kreig in the least.

“Okay, look, you almost got it right, so it won’t be any trouble learning, okay? First, you sit on the saddle - yeah just like that, and then you hold onto the handle. Easy. But any old sod could do that.” In a protective measure, she put her hands on the handle, right on top of Kreig’s hand. “So, the thing about riding bikes is that you’re pretty much surviving on momentum and balance. You really can’t hold it upright if you’re standing still, so what you need to do is…”

At this, Erica tried to create some momentum by pushing the bike forward. However, with Pigsty being an immensely heavy bike and Kreig somehow being even heavier, she wasn’t able to do more than puff and grunt.

“Y-, you need to move the bike. Get it rolling, and stuff.” She turned her head to look Kreig in the eye. “Got it?”

“I believe I might.”

Erica wasn’t sure if her eyes were playing tricks on her, but his face seemed a little flushed. Wonder why that might be?

“Well, just kick yourself going and I’ll be right behind you, okay?”

He nodded sharply. A small kick to the round brought Pigsty to a gentle roll. One more and it was moving at a simple gait.

“A little faster, Kreig! And then put up your feet!”

With a final kick and the bike at an amicable trot, Kreig folded his feet, placing them on the pedals. In a matter of seconds the bike, formerly stable and sure, began to tremble and jerk here and to as the handle thrust back and forth in Kreig’s white-knuckled grip. He was able to keep the bike rolling for around five seconds before it buckled out under him, the handle giving a final twist to the right to end the trial.

Kreig huffed, pulling his long black hair out of his face.

“Hey, that was great!” Erica cheered. “A few more times and I’m sure you’ll get it right!”

He looked over to her, his face briefly flushed with shame and reluctance. Then, upon seeing her excited face, it seemed to simply wash away. “Yeah, alright.”

Teaching Kreig to ride a bike took an hour or two, and this was solely due to Erica’s excitement. Had she not been as supportive as she was, Kreig would surely have given up the second he realized he couldn’t instinctually ride a bike. But that was not the case. No, instead, he made good progress, often with leaps and bounds, until he was finally able to ride the bike for several minutes at a time, his abilities only hampered by his mild fear of falling.

The rest, about where to keep his gaze and how the traffic rules worked, could surely be taught on the way home.

“You’ll buy Pigsty, then?” the shopkeep - Anna - asked, her eyes glimmering. Erica wasn’t sure if she had been excited by greed or something else, but seeing an acquaintance happy made her happy as well.

“Of course! You will, won’t you?”

“Yes. Assuming I have enough to purchase it.”

A fair assumption that worked out well. The clock was 15:26, and it had only taken him like four hours to get a bike. A very reasonable amount of time. And so, they headed home. Had Kreig been a bit more proficient with the bike Erica might have requested that he pedal while she sat on the carrier behind him. However, since she wasn’t much interested in breaking an arm this particular day, she decided to ignore that idea and just spend time walking with Kreig.

During this time, Erica tried her best (she really did) to teach Kreig the various rules that came with riding a bike. Sure, lots of guys liked to just follow their own rules and ignore everything else, assuming that the cars would simply swerve out of their way, but this was not something Erica could accept. The day Kreig became such a miscreant was the day she gave up trying to figure him out.

This didn’t go all that well, however, since Kreig had pretty much nothing to stick it to. He could understand the words she said, but placing them in a context was impossible.

And so, Erica hatched a plot. A simple, easy plot. She led Kreig to her house.

Her home was really just a small apartment she rented cheaply. It had a good placement and was pretty high off the ground, so she liked it, although it was nowhere near as big and nice and Kreig’s.

She left Kreig below the apartment complex to keep track of his bike. Bike thieves were a bit of a problem in this particular city, but with Kreig holding down the fort, not a single soul could possibly try to steal it. Meanwhile, Erica fetched her bike.

Her bike was of the simple sort, with its only real marking being that it was entirely yellow. Other than that, it was a normal lady’s bike.

“Up for a ride around town?” Erica asked with a glint in her eye.

Kreig fiddled with a stray strand of hair. “I suppose so.”

She slapped him on the back two times. “Hey, no worries, you’ll do great! And if you don’t, I’ll protect you. Promise.” A sly grin found its way onto her face while Kreig flushed.

“If you say so, then… I will trust you.”

And so, they biked.