《Returning to No Applause, Only More of the Same》Chapter 83, The Third Form of Love
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Kreig had had plenty of salads in his life but none with this exact composition. He decided to store the recipe in the back of his head, if only because Erica seemed to enjoy it so much. Maybe a little too much. She downright wolfed it down.
On the other hand, she did have a tendency to do the same to almost anything Kreig put in front of her. Maybe she was just a glutton? Though, her slender and healthy frame would suggest otherwise. Kreig took a bite, staring at her as best as he could, trying to decipher her life. Maybe she just didn’t eat? It was an odd line of thought, but if she didn’t have any food at home, then it wouldn’t be too strange if she practically attacked any food placed in front of her.
Hopefully, that wasn’t the case. Kreig would hate for Erica to go hungry in his absence. But if it was the case, then Kreig would definitely offer her permanent abode in his house. The house he shared with his siblings. Hm.
No, if he wanted to house her, he’d probably have to move out himself.
Kreig has, of course, entertained the idea of living on his own, but he already knows that such a plan is many, many years in the future. He just doesn’t know enough about the world to do so. Unless, if he were to move in with Erica, who seemed quite proficient with the world. Of course, such a plan would only be possible if she lived alone. Something Kreig wasn’t entirely sure of.
He caught Erica’s eye right as she was about to take another massive bite despite her mouth being full. “Whadd is id?”
“Do you happen to live alone?”
She stared at him for a few seconds; chewed, swallowed, and smiled. “Yeah! Unless you count my cat. Name’s Sourdough. Really thick boy.”
So she lived mostly alone. With a cat. Cats should be the same in this world as in the other one, right? Kreig could somewhat remember seeing cat-shaped creatures out of the corner of his eye, although none would approach him. Though, this did answer his question. “Do you have food at home?”
She squinted for a moment, her whole face scrunching up cutely. “Is that a compliment or-? I got food at home, I swear! I just-, well, I’m not much of a cook, so most of what I make isn’t too tasty, heh. Heh…” Was Kreig hallucinating or was that a tear in the edge of her eye? “B-, but that isn’t important, right? Right. Uh, well, um,” she absently pierced too many pieces of pasta on her fork. “Have you ever been on, like, a date before?” Her cheeks grew a blossoming shade of pink.
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Kreig blinked. “What is a ‘date’?” He felt a little silly asking, but he did have a good reason. He had actually heard the word on a few occasions. For example, last night when he told his siblings over the dinner table about his plans with Erica, his sister had teased him using that very same word. She never explained what it meant. Kreig would like to know.
She looked off to the side, her face growing red as a rose. She began fiddling with a strand of her hair, making it bounce up and down. “W-, well, that’s… When two people who like each other go and do stuff, it’s a date!”
Ah. So that’s it. “Then, yes, I have been on many dates before.”
Her expression collapsed. “Y-, you have?! Muu, this is my first one… With whom?”
Kreig nodded in a business-like fashion. “With my brother and my sister. At times, both at once.”
She froze in the middle of tugging a piece of hair. “Eh? You-, you’re-, incest?? No, wait, I don’t think that’s very… Uh, a date is more like-, like when you’re with someone who you like, but-, but more in a… Not in a familial way? Or-, or a platonic way, either. Other than that.”
Kreig resisted the urge to scratch his head. Liking someone in a way that wasn’t friendship or family? Hm. Somehow, Kreig could sense that there was a term for this other-like, a term that he had heard many times before…
Erica frowned shyly, breaking Kreig out of his thoughts in an instant. Had he done something to make her upset? He must have thought for too long, insulting her with his uncertainty.
“You’re really making me say it, huh?” Kreig gulped. “Th-, the other form of love apart from familial and platonic…”
Her face turned beet red at about the same moment that Kreig realized it. Changing the term from “like” to “love” had done it.
His face grew hot. “A-, ah, in, in that case, then…” He averted his gaze, suddenly feeling very hesitant and timid. “No, I have never been on a-, a date.” He glanced at her. Then looked away. “Not before this.”
Likewise, Erica blushed shyly, quietly poking her fingers together. “M-, me neither…”
A small lull in the conversation allowed Kreig to pull himself together again to try and still his beating heart. A date. He certainly hadn’t thought of it like that, not before, but now that he sat in front of her like this, it truly did feel right. Yes. They were on a date. He swallowed hard.
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...Then again, going by that definition, this was probably not the first date Kreig Wiedermann had ever gone on. From what Kreig knew, 130 years ago, he had been quite the playboy. He had probably gone on quite a few dates and broken quite a few hearts. This had, of course, changed the instant he was summoned. The Bodies of the Holy Order were seen as pure and divine, unfit to be tainted by the spectrum of human emotion. Especially the bodily parts.
By the time he found himself in a position where romantic relationships would have been acceptable, it had already been too late. He just didn’t feel comfortable with it. He just wanted to work. Having a personal life would be too painful.
Kreig took a sip of his drink. But now… Now, he was freed from that. Leaving him to form his own personal relationships. This included friendships, and family. And, perhaps, also romance.
All of a sudden, Kreig’s throat felt very dry and his tongue very large.
They continued eating in silence.
When Kreig put his fork to his bowl, he found it stabbing emptiness. Looking up, he found Erica staring at him. Her bowl was empty, both pieces of cutlery placed across it. When had she finished? Shamefully, Kreig couldn’t say. In fact, he couldn’t figure out for how long Erica had been staring at him. Neither could he quite understand why she was looking at him like that. Not that he disliked it. He had probably given her just the same eyes while she wasn’t looking.
But having them stare back at him felt a bit surreal.
She blinked twice. “Oh! I was just-, well, you eat really daintily, you know?”
“...Daintily?” Now that was a new word.
Her hands made strange movements as though attempting to perform a silent dance routine. “Y-, yeah! Ladylike. I guess your etiquette will make up for the both of us?”
“Maybe so.” Mutely, Kreig mimicked the way Erica had placed her cutlery across his bowl.
As if in response, Erica stood up. Kreig followed suit. “Eustice will handle the dishes, so… Wanna go look at bikes? Poirot is really close.”
Kreig nodded at her. He wanted to say something, but suddenly he felt very, very nervous. Almost paralyzed.
Surely, all those years ago, he’d had some sort of confidence. He must have. The kind of confidence that let him win games and defeat opponents and charm the ladies until they swooned. But now, he doesn't have that. Now, all he has is a freezing fear that he might do something wrong, that he might make such a mistake that she would never look at him like that again.
Eyes stuck to the ground, he barely even knew where he was going at all. Just that he was hopefully following the edge of Erica’s dress.
Then, he felt something small and soft grab his hand.
He froze solid. Hesitantly, his gaze left the ground. He found Erica looking at him with those big, fawn-like eyes. She smiled wryly at him. “You keep walking the wrong way, so… You don’t mind me holding your hand? To get you to go in the right direction, that is.”
Kreig gaped at her. Wordlessly, he nodded. She beamed back at him, her small grip on his much larger hand gaining some form of confidence. In his heart, Kreig thanked the lord below that he hadn’t jerked his hand back or struck her out of instinct. The best case scenario in such a situation would be that she lost her hand or arm. In the worst case…
Kreig shuddered.
Her hand gripped him a little tighter. He glanced up at her. She smiled warmly.
He wanted to hold her hand a little tighter too, but in his shaken state, he wasn’t sure if he could do it without hurting her. But with her holding him so closely, she was surely holding on for the both of them.
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