“Rain my boy!”

Rudely awakened from slumber by a surge of adrenaline, I spring to my feet ready to defend myself, only to slip and flounder while trying to keep my footing on Ping Ping’s slippery shell. Pulling me into a soggy embrace, Taduk saves me from a face-plant while simultaneously shocking me out of my panic. “Thank the Heavens you’re alive,” he exclaims, hugging so tightly Blackjack squeals in muted protest from between us. Releasing us with a hangdog look, Taduk looks me over with his tear-stained eyes and his Chi to make sure I’m still hale and healthy, his hands patting my hair and face as if to reassure himself that I’m really there. “This was all my fault, we shouldn’t have come so far out into the sea. I took all the warnings for tall tales and flights of fancy, thought we were perfectly safe but we weren’t and I almost lost you and... I uh... mm...”

Eye’s widening in surprise, Taduk’s voice trails off as he stares at my chest. Worried something happened to my fur babies, I look down to find Mama Bun comatose from her Spiritual Algae snack and Blackjack so irked by the rude awakening he’s baring his sharp, squared teeth, but neither are enough to shock my teacher into silence. What’s thrown him for a loop is the newest addition to my menagerie poking his head out from Mama Bun’s damp fur. Glaring at Taduk with undisguised hostility, Pong Pong’s adorably grumpy expression too darling to resist. Giving his tiny turtle nose a light poke, I snort with laughter as Pong Pong shrinks back in alarm and retreats into the safe confines of his shell, nestled tightly between Mama Bun’s clingy paws.

No wonder Blackjack’s so grumpy, it seems he’s no longer Mama Bun’s favourite thing to hug while sleeping, cast aside in favour of her new Spiritual Algae treat.

“Quickly! Hide the creature,” Taduk Sends with alarming urgency. “Tell no one about it, absolutely no one, understood? We’ll speak more after returning to land.”

Obeying without question, I drape Mama Bun’s damp fur over Pong Pong and the greedy bunny lends a paw, pulling the turtle deeper into her chest as if afraid I’ll steal it away, her lips moving in silent but staunch defiance while fast asleep. Pong Pong doesn’t seem to mind, probably because he likes the warmth, but Blackjack is none too pleased. When the little hare’s efforts to force its way into Mama Bun’s embrace are met with abject failure, poor Blackjack attacks Pong Pong’s shell in frustration, throwing a series of rapid-fire taps to no effect. Moving his arms to peek at his assailant, Pong Pong smugly dismisses Blackjack as a threat, blinking lazily with a protracted yawn before covering his face once more, all turtled up and ready to nap.

Smug turtles and angry hares are too adorable. This is for the best anyways, Mama Bun was coddling her little baby hare too much so Blackjack wasn’t making friends. Now he’s free to go snuggle with the other bunnies, preferably Tawny One in particular. My plan is coming to fruition. First, Yipi and Kai Yay, now Ping Ping and Pong Pong, and soon, Blackjack and Tawny One. How many other silly paired pet names can I come up with?

I don’t know, but if I want to find out, I’ll need more pets. Hooray for floofs!

Shaking off the last vestiges of sleepiness, I finish hiding Pong Pong and give Taduk a sheepish smile. I’m so sorry Teacher, it’s not your fault, but mine. Since he doesn’t want to talk about Pong Pong, there’s nothing I can do but keep my mouth shut while we check on the rest of our waking companions scattered around Ping Ping’s shell. Even with as big as she is, there’s six of us in total plus Sir Inky’s cauldron, so it’s a little cramped after Guan Suo joins us atop Ping Ping’s shell, grumbling and growling all the while. “Which one of you left me in the sea to soak? My ears are so water-logged I can barely hear a thing.”

“Sorry,” I reply, instinctively shrinking back at his glare. “I tried, but you’re too heavy to lift.” Honestly, I’m surprised he even floats. What is it with half-Red Panda’s and their ridiculous weight? Are the animals also deceptively heavy? I don’t see how it’s possible, they’re like 75% floof.

“You?” Obviously not the culprit he expected, Guan Suo’s scowl deepens upon hearing my apology. “You’re saying that after the attack which rendered everyone present helpless and unconscious, you pulled us to safety?”

“Well... yea.” I’m not sure I like his incredulous tone. Sure he’s strong, but he ain’t got nothing on King Pong. “After the water rose up and the uh... Aura hit, I woke up, saw we were alone, and dragged everyone onto Ping Ping before passing out from sheer exhaustion.”

The rest of our party join’s Guan Suo in his disbelief, aside from Taduk, who swells with pride, and Lei Gong. Bursting into laughter, the old warrior shakes his head while wringing his robes dry, his bare, barrel chested frame much hairier than expected. “Ah, yer full of surprises, ain’t ye? Yer the last one I’d have expected to save our skins, but you have my gratitude. Again.”

“Err, don’t worry about it.” Especially since I’m the one who brought calamity down upon them. Glancing at the upended Runic Barge which is slowly sinking into the Sea, I wince at the estimated cost to replace it and vow never to admit fault so long as Gang Shu still lives. To throw off suspicion, I feign ignorance and ask, “So... We were attacked, but by what? Was it a kraken or something? Why didn’t it eat us?”

Snorting in derision, Guan Suo looks ridiculous with his head tilted to one side, hoping to drain his ears of water. “Didn’t see what attacked us, but it weren’t no kraken,” he replies, fixing Lei Gong and the Tyrant with a glare. “Your friends probably know, seeing how they’re out here hunting it.” Baring his teeth in a frightening smile, he looks comically terrifying with his odd posture and warlike expression. “Go ahead and lie, little warriors. I’m feeling generous today, so I’ll leave your corpses intact for the rat to bury.”

Wow. Guan Suo has zero chill.

Rocketing out of the Azure Sea, Lei Gong’s metal cane careens into his grasp as if attached by a wire and the Tyrant draws two small, metal wands similar to the ones she gave Jorani. “Easy there,” Lei Gong cautions, the tip of his weapon crackling in bursts of energy. “I admit, we been chasing the beastie who done this, but we been after it for weeks without so much as a splash. Our Runic Ship was tailor-made to hide our presence, so the way I see it, the creature spotted yer turtle or mayhaps yer skiff sitting alongside and figured y’all were the ones hunting it.”

With a throaty snarl, Guan Suo takes one step forward and to my surprise, the Tyrant and the Lord of Thunder step back. Now, I don’t know about the Tyrant, but Lei Gong is definitely not the cowardly type, which means I should probably rethink how I treat the hobo half-beast. Unwilling to see both parties come to blows over something I cause, I step between the quarrelling warriors without thinking and immediately freeze, wondering what I’m supposed to do now. Thankfully, Guan Suo is happy to stand and growl, looking all deranged and menacing while tilting his head. “Here’s an idea.” Sound less snarky please. “How’s about we all stay calm and relaxed until we get back to dry land and away from whatever tried to kill us.” Poor Pong Pong, was the mean old Lord of Thunder bullying you? Don’t worry, you’re... sorta safe now. Then again, I guess you weren’t really in any danger, considering you almost murdered everyone present, so... whatever. Do you Pong Pong. Do. You.

With a weighty huff, Guan Suo stalks past Lei Gong and the Tyrant to check on Ping Ping, who still has yet to wake. Pong Pong’s Aura of despair really did a number on her, and now that I look closely, on everyone else too. Lei Gong’s smile is strained and slipping while the Tyrant stands with her arms crossed, hugging herself tightly while watching her surroundings. It might be my imagination, but Guard Leader stands closer to Taduk than usual as she stares off into the distance, while my cheery teacher has yet to take his hand off my shoulder, reluctant to separate unless absolutely necessary.

“Thanks again boy,” Lei Gong mutters, eyes never leaving Guan Suo’s back. “Fer calming him down, though there ain’t no shame dying in battle against the Smiling Slaughterer.”

...Is Guan Suo secretly awesome, or are red panda’s just too OP? “To be honest, I mostly stepped in because I didn’t feel like being taken hostage again.” The old warrior flushes at the reminder of our first meeting and offers an apologetic nod to Taduk, who audibly harrumphs and steps a little closer to my side, glaring at Lei Gong without a care in the world. I love him like a father, but Taduk needs to ease up. Sure he can fly, but contrary to the name, the Lord of Thunder does more than just make loud noises, and Taduk is definitely not secretly awesome. A pacifist through and through, Taduk refuses to harm even a bunny, relying on Lin and me to do all the dirty work for him.

In retrospect, maybe that’s why Lin’s so bloodthirsty: her soul is soaked in the blood of countless innocent bun buns.

...And now I’m sad again. Mama Bun, don’t you worry. It doesn’t matter how delicious you are, I’ll never let anyone hurt you.

Finished with my quick snuggle session, my curiosity gets the better of me. Abandoning all notions of subterfuge, I ask point blank, “So what sort of beastie were you chasing, and why?” What did poor little Pong Pong do to deserve this?

“Well...” Glancing at the slowly sinking Runic Barge, Lei Gong shakes his head and sighs. “Guess there’s no sense in hiding it anymore. Not like we can keep chasing without the boat. Remember what I said before the attack, about how this ain’t no errant droplet of Heavenly Energy?”

“Yea?”

Instead of answering, Lei Gong waits for me to puzzle it out for myself, but my brain is too tired to work properly. Repressing a sigh, Lei Gong fills in the pieces for me. “The beastie has the droplet. That’s why I was sure you wouldn’t walk away with all the spoils.”

Ha! How wrong he is. This is awesome, Pong Pong has a Blobby. He might even have my Blobby, which would be fantastic. Wait, don’t look so happy, try to look scared. Staring out into the waters, I ask, “What sort of beastie are we talking about here?”

“That’s the damnedest thing. We ain’t seen hide nor hair of it since we started.”

Oh good.

Gesturing at the Tyrant, Lei Gong explains, “We have our means of tracking and harassing it, but even then, the big boss wasn’t feeling confident about our chances. That’s why he had Yuhuan make the boat and we been chasing it fer weeks now, wearing it down to even the odds. Took her a good couple of months, but like I said, it’s been smooth sailing since we started, right until today.”

So Pong Pong can take on an Ancestral Beast in a fair fight. Good to know.

...

Deep Breath.

...

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Well, no sense pointing fingers,” I reply, hoping everyone agrees. “It happened, we survived, so let’s move on.” Without looking at Taduk, I Send, “Will this be a problem? I’m 99% sure the little turtle caused this, and if they can track him then there’s an Ancestral Rat who’s not going to be very happy when he finds out I’ve snatched a second drop of Heavenly Water from him.”

“I’ll find out.” Giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze, my teacher sidles off to seduce the Tyrant and squeeze her for information, picking up where their conversation left off before Pong Pong so rudely interrupted them. What a charmer. I don’t know how he stayed single for so long.

“Aye, live and let live I say.” Moving to fill in the space left by Taduk’s departure, Lei Gong conveniently places me between him and Guan Suo, though if I were him, I’d be warier of Guard Leader beside him, even though she has yet to move since she stood and is still staring at nothing. Lowering his voice, Lei Gong asks, “So, between us, tell me: how’d you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Don’t play dumb boy.” Lei Gong’s characteristic colloquial charm slips away to reveal raw, acerbic exasperation hiding underneath. “The creature’s Aura. I ain’t ever felt anything like it before, and Heaven willing, won’t ever feel anything like it ever again. Misery and despair so heavy I could barely breathe, and truth be told, I don’t think I cared. Look around boy. You travel in the presence of greatness, with... with warriors standing at the peak of the Martial Path, and every one of us is still reeling from the encounter.” Pausing to give me a chance to look around and see he’s right, Lei Gong adds, “but not you. You’re standing there calm as can be, hiding yer smiles while snuggling yer rabbit, all without batting an eye. You say you shook off the Aura and dragged everyone aboard the turtle, and seeing how you are, I believe ye, but I need to know. How’d you do it? Just stand up and go back to feeling... normal?”

The look in his eyes is familiar, the same haunted look I see reflected in the water when I wash my face every morning. Whatever wretched misery Pong Pong’s Aura dredged up, he’s desperate to rid himself of it and never feel so hopeless and forlorn ever again. It’s a sentiment I know too well, but sadly I have no solution to offer. “Go back to normal? Misery and despair is normal, at least for people like me. Maybe you’ve forgotten, being a peak Martial Expert and all, but we live in a world filled with pain and suffering. That hopeless resignation you’re feeling? It’s always been there, a dagger hanging above your head or a noose around your neck, and today, you were merely reminded of its existence. There’s no shaking it off, you find a level of despair you can tolerate and call that happiness, because that’s as good as it gets.” Shrugging, I add, “Soldier on or give up, simple as that.”

Both of which are valid options.

The silence is deafening in the wake of my explanation, and I realize everyone is staring at me with mixed emotions. Even Guard Leader has broken out of her daze and joined in the staring session, but I have no idea what expression she’s hiding behind her veil. Unwilling to meet Taduk’s gaze, I glance at the sun to check the time and realize it’s almost noon, which means we’ve been out on the water for almost five hours now. “Wow, we should get back, Alsantset will be worried. Need a ride back to land?”

“Er, about that.” Running a hand through his tangled beard, Lei Gong winces and says, “I was hoping you could ask the Divine Turtle to help raise our ship. It cost a pretty penny to make and the big boss won’t be too happy about losing it.”

“Not that I don’t want to help, but I’m not sure I can. Contrary to the rumours, I don’t control animals, I merely feed them and they never leave.” With a helpless shrug, I add, “Hell, I don’t even feed the turtle, she just followed me here.” Sorta. I think I understand why she follows me around, but I won’t know for sure before I test my theory out on dry land.

“I might be able to convince the old girl.” Sitting on Ping Ping’s shoulder, Guan Suo gently strokes Ping Ping’s head as she comes awake with a mournful squeak, yet another victim of Pong Pong’s powerful Aura. Drawing on my depleted reserves, I bolster her spirits with an Aura of Love, but since I still have yet to meditate, I don’t have much to spare. Seeing no change in her demeanour, I sigh and sit down to rest while Guan Suo guides Ping Ping into lifting the sinking barge out of the water, which she does with relative ease using a combination of muscle and Water Chi.

This morning, I would have been shocked and awed by her power and control, but now? Eh. Pong Pong raised the bar on impressive, and Ping Ping falls short in comparison.

Groaning in frustration, the Tyrant inspects the intricate markings on the side of the barge, as large swathes of it have seemingly been wiped away. “It’s ruined,” she says, while looking over her work. “Absolutely ruined. How did this happen?”

“Everything’s taken care of Rain my boy,” Taduk Sends. “Won’t need to worry about GangShu finding out about your little friend, not for a few months at least.”

Huh. I thought it was weird Guan Suo was in such a helpful mood. He probably did something to the Runes using... whatever it is he uses to explode sharks or something. Hooray! Now I have a few months to learn all of Pong Pong’s secrets and become stronger than an Ancestral Beast. Easy Peasy. Whatever. Pong Pong is plenty strong enough to take care of himself right?

Unless... GangShu is feeling vindictive and tells the world I have not one, but two drops of Heavenly Water. Yea, that would probably ruin my day. It’d ruin more, but I doubt I’d survive long enough to find out. Well shit. No wonder Pong Pong was looking for the safety of home. Strong as he is, he’s no match for an entire nation.

...

Is it too late to throw him back?

Chapter Meme