The morning sun rises over the horizon, illuminating the courtyard in a warm, orange-red glow. Already dressed and ready, I head out into the hallway with my new, ever-present shadow in tow, doing my best to ignore him. Ever since Blobby and Baledagh worked together to devour Dastan’s Spectres, the former Warrant Officer seems to have found purpose, emerging from his room two days later full of vim and vigour. I’m glad for him, I really am, but I’m not thrilled about his new outlook on life. It seems he’s bent on worshiping the ground I walk on. Every time he looks at me, I see his eyes burning with a devotion bordering on fanaticism, refusing to stray far from my side unless ordered.

I find his overwhelming loyalty both disturbing and unnerving. I’m not worthy of such adoration, and even if I were, I’d rather not have a moustached pretty boy fawning over me. At least his new attitude hasn’t spilled over to the others, probably because he’s the only one I was honest with, aside from Gerel and Yuzhen. In retrospect, I should’ve lied to Dastan too, but I wasn’t thinking straight. He was the first person Baledagh treated and excitement overcame reason, so I blurted it all out like an idiot. At least it was through Sending so no one could have possibly overheard, but still. I can’t make mistakes like that again, the secrets and lies are getting to be too much. With so many people at differing levels of knowledge, it’s hard to keep track of who knows what. All it takes is one mistake, one wrong word to the wrong person, and this house of cards will come crashing down.

Knocking on Mila’s door, I motion for Dastan and his guards to stand watch outside. He’s none too happy about leaving my side, but I don’t care. He needs to take it down a notch, the man has zero chill. After positioning two guards at the door, two beneath my window, and four on the roof above my room, Dastan still wanted to keep watch from INSIDE the bedroom. I’m grateful he’s taking his new job seriously, but I’m not the frigging pope. I’m just a dude with another dude inside my head and the landlord to an amorphous blob of quasi-sentient water.

I wish my life was less complicated.

Hearing pawing from the other side, I open the door to let Jimjam and Sarankho out. Closing the door behind me, I speak softly. “Time to wake, my lovely ladies.” The bear cubs peer at me from the bed, blinking sleepily before laying back down, which is more than I get from Mila or Lin. Sitting on the bed, I gently stroke Mila’s cheek, smiling at the lovely sight of my two favourite girls, their foreheads almost touching as they gently snore side by side. Gently shaking Mila by the shoulder, my efforts go unnoticed and then ignored for almost a full minute, my freckled, fiery haired beauty sleeping like a log. Lin isn’t much better, batting my hand aside before turning away, an adorable frown pasted on her sleepy face.

As much as I’d like to let them sleep in, I’ve plans to be out of Sanshu within the hour. This city has drained away all my happiness and good cheer, so I’d like to go home now. Redoubling my efforts by bouncing on the bed, I shout, “Wake up. Your clothes are laid out, Li Song is harnessing your quins, and breakfast is waiting.” Twin groans emerge from Mila and Lin’s lips as the cubs echo the sentiment, all four lazy bones refusing to get up. Losing my patience, I dip my hands in the basin and fling droplets of water into their faces while shouting, “Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!”

Lin’s piteous groan makes my heart ache with sympathy as my waifish sweetheart stretches ever so adorably. “It’s too early hubby... Two more hours please.”

Hardening my resolve, I steal the pillows away. “You can sleep while we ride. Get used to waking early. With all these wagons slowing us down, we’ll be travelling from sun-up to sunset from here on out. It’s already the eighth month and the weather will only get colder as the days go by. I'd like to be home before my birthday, so snap to it.”

After another five minutes of pleading and coddling, I finally get Lin to sit up while Mila stubbornly refuses to get up. As Lin rubs her eyes, I lean over to nibble Mila’s earlobe. Jolting up, she shoves me away with a petulant glare, her cheeks reddening to match her hair. Seeing her angry makes my heart beat faster, her untidy, bedraggled look igniting my desires. Keeping calm, I smile and say, “Oh good, you’re up. Get dressed and wash your face, it’s time to go.”

“Hmm.” Accepting the offered clothes, Mila points towards the door and I turn away so she and Lin can get dressed. “We should have left days ago but you wanted to stay behind to attend parties with Major Yuzhen and a horde of scantily clad servants. Why the sudden rush to leave?”

While Mila can come off as abrasive and her competitive nature is somewhat overbearing, I love it when she shows her jealousy. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be jealous, and seeing how jealous she gets tells me she cares a lot. I’m not complaining about Lin’s dedication to finding me more wives, but sometimes, it’s nice to know someone wants you so badly, she’s willing to fight for you. “I told you, that was work. She wanted me to look over the ruling elite, make sure no one was... dirty.” Mila and Lin both know about my Defiled cleansing efforts, though I haven’t told them the whole truth. Yuzhen and Gerel both insisted I never reveal my formerly compromised status to anyone and Baledagh agrees. I want to tell Mila and Lin, but I’m terrified of seeing their reactions.

It’d break me to see fear or revulsion in their eyes, and I don’t have enough courage to risk it.

Ignorant of my internal struggle, Mila continues her sarcastic tirade. “Well, the Empire thanks you for all your hard work these past few days. It must have been so difficult eating food and drinking wine while dealing with those horrid nobles and their blatant attempts to curry favour. Whatever will the People do without you?”

Hearing her footsteps, I take Mila in my arms and sigh. “I know you’re being facetious, but it was exhausting. Not the food and wine part, but the rest of it. There’s not a single genuine person among them, Yuzhen included. Seeing firsthand how deftly she manipulated events to her advantage was terrifying. I don’t want to spend another minute in the city if I can help it, so please my love, let’s go.”

Sensing my sincerity, Mila eases up with her scolding and leans into my embrace. Holding her close, I enjoy the warmth for precious few seconds until I realize she’s half-asleep. Groaning in frustration, I shake her awake and hurry my lazy little wives through their morning rituals before dragging them out for breakfast on the porch.

I might be a little crabby. These past three days have put immense strain on both Baledagh and myself, working with Yuzhen to cleanse hundreds, if not thousands of people of Spectres without a single person realizing what happened. Though it seems like a large number, to be fair, I wasn’t really keeping count and there were few as far gone as Gerel or Dastan. Using Baledagh’s descriptions, I arranged the Tainted, as I've taken to calling them, into varying degrees of infection. The largest and most harmless group are those who hold the Spectres’ interest but don’t draw on their power. If their minds are a house, I equate it to having a window open with the Spectres hanging out on the sidewalk. The occupants hear the Spectres speaking, but generally pay them no mind. The Spectres can’t get inside without the occupant's permission, so for the most part, these ‘window Tainted’ are wholly unaware of their presence, likely attributing the Spectres’ whispers to flights of fancy or human nature.

The most alarming thing of all is how half the people Baledagh saw fell into this category. Not half the people Yuzhen brought to us, but half the people out of the general population. Even Mila had a Spectre hanging around her, and while Baledagh took care of it easily, it’s worrying. There are so many people who’ve drawn the attention of the Spectres all wandering around ignorant of the danger. Thankfully, Baledagh can clandestinely devour the nagging ghosts and cleanse the infected without any adverse affects. He doesn’t even need to touch the infected, only be close to them as he devours the Spectres in a small radius around him. Best of all, after he’s done, the Spectres don’t come back, or at least I haven’t seen any that did.

It's not saying much, but it's something.

Continuing with the metaphor, when we move up a level we have the people who’ve left the door ajar. The Spectres skulk around outside and toss little treats of power, like scattering loose, counterfeit coins around the house for the occupant to pick up and 'spend', getting them into trouble with the authorities. They still can't get inside the house, nor can they be be too obvious about granting power or the occupants will become suspicious, but most never realize the power they wield is from an external source, assuming it's theirs and always has been. These people draw on the Spectres power infrequently, but their thoughts are rife with Spectre whispers. If the first group makes up 75% of the Tainted, then the second group is 24%. Oddly enough, very few unimportant people were in the second group, though I’m not sure why. Do the Spectres target people with power and influence, or is it because people aided by the Spectres are more likely to rise to a position of power?

Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m guessing the Spectres’ plan is for their hosts to become reliant on that extra power, like they’re trying to elicit a Pavlovian response, rewarding their hosts with more power in dark moods and slowly drawing them towards unbalance and acceptance. I didn’t bother pointing these people out to Yuzhen either, because there were too many of them. If I had to wait for Yuzhen to contrive some plot to get them wet, I'd be stuck here for weeks. Unlike the first group, when Baledagh cleanses these people, they feel it, but most become a little short of breath or lightheaded, so it’s no big deal, easily attributed to fatigue or poor health.

Ravil, Jorani, Jester Wang, Ulfsaar, and many others of my retinue fell into this category, and to my great sorrow, so did Huu and Fung. I don’t know how long they’ve been like this, but I’m assuming it’s due to their recent losses. Huu lost his Uncle Kalil and he’s been down in the dumps, while Fung is mourning the loss of his retinue and blaming himself for their deaths. Neither one has shown any outward signs of distress, and without Baledagh, I wouldn’t even know how much it affected them. I thought they were strong enough to shake it off, though if I’m being honest, I’m a little relieved. I’m sorry they’re suffering, but knowing they feel the same way I do makes them more... human. I wish they’d talk to me, but even after dealing with their errant Spectre problem, they’ve shown no change in demeanour. I intend to keep an eye on them, because even without the Spectres, depression is a bitch.

I suppose I could try opening up to them first...

Then, there’s the third group, where Dastan and Gerel fit in. They’re the people who aren’t Defiled, but they’re close, standing on the precipice. Metaphorically speaking, they’ve sat down to tea with the Spectres, taking their advice while still having the final say in their own decisions. The Spectres not only influence their thoughts, but offer power in spades. These are the ones I needed help with and Yuzhen was quick to act. Whether it be through drugging their drinks or luring them away under false pretenses, she easily gathered the ‘tea drinkers’ and rendered them unconscious for Baledagh and Blobby to do their work. How she explained everything after the fact, I’ll never know, nor do I really care.

Both Gerel and Dastan feel the absence of the Spectres and will take time to recover their full strength, but if they’re like Baledagh, they’ll be back in top form in no time. There’s too much I don’t know, and all I can do is keep collecting information while Baledagh and Blobby do their magic. Though I’m useless throughout the entire process, my little brother has found new purpose, and with it, a will to live. While still prone to bouts of silence and isolation, he’s more upbeat and energetic, even cracking jokes and playing with the animals in our downtime.

It’s not much, but it’s progress.

In contrast to Baledagh’s improvement, after seeing how insidious the Spectres can be, I am thoroughly horrified and depressed. How has the Empire survived so long with an invisible, intangible enemy knocking at the gates? Luckily, turning full-on Defiled isn’t a simple process, though how it occurs is still a mystery. Baledagh believes it has something to do with surrender. You have to truly and wholly give up in order for them to take over, which says something about the human spirit. Even at their worst, people who truly give up are few and far between. Against all odds, most people labour to improve their lives, relying on their own power to fulfill their hopes and dreams. In contrast, it takes steady indoctrination from young to fully give up, as shown by the Defiled from north of the Bridge.

It’s almost inspiring how strong the human spirit can be.

Less optimistically, it could be fear keeping people of the Empire in check. Plenty of motivation to keep from indulging the Spectres when mere suspicion of being Defiled is enough to have you killed out of hand.

Stopping to check on Roc’s flock, boop the cats sitting in their wagons, and give my bears a hug, I climb onto Mafu’s back where a sleepy Lin sits in wait, snuggling into my arms for a nap. Moving to the head of the convoy, I lead my party towards the Western gate, finally heading home after all this time. Though I’ve only been gone for little over five months now, it feels like an entire year’s gone by since I left the Bridge. What should have been a simple hunt for bandits and fame turned into a massive clusterfuck, with too many friends left behind. It’s small comfort knowing they died as heroes, but it’s true. Even if their names are never remembered by history, I’ll remember them. If not for their sacrifice in stopping Yo Ling’s plans, then it’s entirely possible the Spectre of Butcher Bay would have turned into the Spectre of Sanshu. I shudder to think what he might have accomplished after taking control of the city through the Coalition, and thank the Mother his plans never came to pass.

Shaking off dark thoughts of what might have been, I hum a little song beneath my breath, careful not to disturb Lin’s nap. For the next few weeks, I’ll only have friends and subordinates around me, so I can finally cut loose and be my regular, goofy self. Keeping up appearances really sucks the fun out of life, and it’s been so long since I could be myself without worrying about saying the wrong thing or offending the wrong person. Nothing but open roads and empty skies ahead, aside from a small detour to explore Yo Ling’s hidden island fortress.

How cool is that? Plus, who knows, maybe I’ll uncover some pirate booty while I’m at it...

Arriving at the gate, I find a large crowd sitting in wait, passing through the gate before us. Recognizing a few faces, I ride ahead to greet them as decorum demands. Nodding to the occupants as I ride past the carriages, I stop at the foremost carriage. With his arm resting on the window, Zian half-sneers at the world as he sits in waiting, a naturally arrogant and aloof air about him. Though we’ve made some small progress in our frosty relationship, we’re still a ways away from burying the hatchet, so I greet him with a cordial, if strained smile. “Good morning, young magistrate Zian. What a coincidence, to be leaving together.” Why didn’t he leave another day? Or later? Now, I have to think of a reason to convince him to move aside and let me through, else we’ll be stuck behind them the whole way back to Shen Yun...

“No coincidence,” Zian says, still icy and detached. “I heard you were leaving today and decided to travel with you. After all, there are still Defiled at large in the province, and Mao Jianghong has yet to be found.”

Welp, there goes the nice relaxing trip I’d envisioned. Channelling my inner politician, I smile and nod while extending a formal invitation, pretending to be thrilled to have them with us. It’s not like I hate them, but I don’t like them, and I can’t be myself if they’re around. More games of face and pride, except now, I outrank them, which makes me a target for their envy and resentment. After a few minutes of polite chit-chat, I turn to leave and switch places with Baledagh to check if there are any Tainted or Defiled among my new travel companions. Zian and most of the other Warrant Officers are ‘window-tainted’, and my little brother takes care of them instantly, but even in the few dozen of people we pass, he finds more than one person who fits into the other categories, including BoShui who is almost as badly afflicted as Dastan was.

Nothing is ever easy. Now I have to figure out how to cleanse them without being noticed or outed. Maybe I can talk them into a group swim at the lake or something, on the way to Yo Ling’s island... Stifling a groan, I close my eyes and choke on heartbreak and sorrow. I’ll need to come up with an excuse to leave them behind if I want to visit Yo Ling’s island in secret. Otherwise, these Society brats will want to tag along and probably even demand a share of the treasure. It’s fine if there’s nothing of value, but this is a bandit fortress that’s been in use for decades. Who knows how much wealth the Butchers have stolen over the years? They can’t have spent it all...

God dammit, I wanted to plunder pirate booty in secret. IN SECRET! What if there’s something super awesome and expensive which can’t be split? It’ll be like the Contest all over again, hunted down by the Society for my treasures, only this time, they won’t underestimate us.

Mark my words: nothing good ever came from sharing.

Chapter Meme