《There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns.》1: Smashing Start
Advertisement
There was a name.
It was hers but it had been traded away. A second chance she was promised by the small, pleased child. He wasn’t a child, just what some sanity-chipping being decided what a child should look like to converse with her.
Perhaps it derived some perverse pleasure from her squirming consciousness.
“A name for a chance? I’m being very fair,” he promised. She knew it was a trick.
“Of course it is, that’s the ‘name’ of the game,” the child had laughed with delight. She had felt stars shiver at the noise.
“Now… maybe we’ll talk again when you become interesting. Now, I have to go meet the others, maybe you’ll meet them one day?” the thing said casually.
Then she twisted, breaking into a thousand shards that shattered into countless motes that sundered into the basic existence of the universe.
Then she was slapped together with little care and left in the smallest...darkest….room.
She turned and stared up the single tunnel that was quickly digging itself until it stopped and sunlight pierced her.
She turned, trying to move, slightly moving forward with no real sensation.
Then with a moment of shock, she looked down.
There was nothing there. Empty air where a body and legs should have been.
She turned.
A pulsing orange orb about the size of an orange sat encrusted in a single stalagmite. The sunlight hitting the orb made the room glow with light.
She moved closer and peered into the orb.
The light showed a tiny shadow in the amber like glass.
It was a perfectly round object that pulsed with a tiny light. On that orb, the fainting symbol could be seen.
4
She shuddered.
Four?
This thing was… her?
She was just a number to that thing. Not the first… definitely not the last.
Well… at least she wasn’t a tree or a frog!
Hopeless optimism was better than screaming fear was what she told herself.
The house may be on fire but at least she was warm!
Advertisement
Ugh… she was going to die here as some orb thing.
Without a name? No, she needed a name, something to defined herself and used to hold herself together with.
She pulled something that seemed to float by as she just stared at the orb.
Delta.
It was kinda four-ish. It was better than Orby or screaming-wailing-ghost-girl. Definitely better than just ‘victim number four’.
So she, Delta, go to work on the next problem she had to tackle.
Mostly, why did the creepy-demon-child thing think she was going to be interesting as… an orb?
Delta looked about and saw the walls were hard packed dirt, loose stones and not a lot else.
Charming, she was underground, a ghost, and bound to an orb. Delta tried to march right up the tunnel but with a small pause saw a completely white wall where the sun was a moment ago.
She took ten steps back and the vision of some dense grass hills appeared.
Delta took a step forward, the outside world vanished.
One step back and it reappeared.
Delta inhaled and then swallowed a slight scream as she promptly turned around and floated back to the orb.
So, she couldn’t even leave.
She had to stay underground, stuck in some void state to hang about with some ominous globe of eerily light.
She was either a vampire, ghost, or a goth in the making. Delta hoped for a goth, she could really use some anger right now to keep her from going insane.
“Well… it’s just me… and me?” Delta asked aloud and the orb pulsed again but then went quiet.
“Hm… I can’t leave, this is the only room and you’re centre figure. Logic dictates you’re the key to my problems, logic also dictates I should have legs but let’s ignore that little factoid,” Delta spoke to the orb with a serious tone to her words.
“I can’t move you, I can’t bash my head on you, you’re not exactly stimulating this conversation. I must admit, I’m kinda lost on what the frick I’m supposed to do with you!” Delta yelled.
Advertisement
The Orb remained smug in its silence.
“Fine, you know what, orb-me, you’re a jackass! A mongrel, a low-life, a charlatan! A hoax, a poser, a bad move knock-off prop!” Delta hissed.
The orb pulsed, maybe in anger but Delta pushed it, needing any form of contact.
“You, good me, are the worst orb I have ever heard of,” Delta sniffed.
The Orb was glowing fully now.
“Your father was a cow and your mother a goblin with warts and no tee-” Delta was cut off as the orb let loose one final pulse and as if sighing with relief, the glow fled the orb and swirled around the room.
The comet of orange dust and light encircled one corner and took shape with before Delta.
It was small, haunched, and green.
“Oh...no,” Delta whispered as a goblin sniffed the air before spotting the Orb in its odd stone pedestal.
“Job?” it grunted.
Delta could only crawl away, not making any noise, mind reverting to some tiny mouse state.
She had nobody but that thought only added to her panic instead of easing it. What if she couldn’t feel anything anymore?!
Delta heaved as the goblin blinked.
“Rooms?” it offered. Delta just stared at where her hands should be.
How would she hold sandwiches? How would she type on the internet?
Wait… what if there was no internet?
Delta howled and the goblin ran off, shrieking as the Orb crackling with energy.
“ME GUARD DOOR!” it screamed with fear.
Delta panted, feeling quite tired… she should… just… rest for a while.
The Orb seemed to agree and went dormant.
Delta felt her head hit the floor and felt a twinge of pain.
Good… that was still a thing.
---
Goblin, until further notice, sighed with relief as the everlasting master of his new abode seemed to rest. He had been rather silly, suggesting he knew what the core, all hail its greatness, should do next.
Such arrogance on his part. Goblin watched the tunnel, not expecting any trouble. Surely, the great one would have traps ready. They must be so good, he couldn’t spot any sign of them!
Such a powerful master, so wise, so cunning.
Goblin grinned and felt excited that he was one of the first, if he did well, perhaps he could receive a boss promotion...oh how much he desired such a lofty goal.
“Me good boss,” Goblin said with pride.
That was when the entrance was breached by two more goblins. Runts, even a dungeon Goblin like himself could see it.
They squawked and begged for protection.
Goblin bared his teeth, not wanting such riff-raff near his grandmaster and holy object. The goblins pleaded harder and voices came not far off.
Deep ones, angry ones, eager ones.
Goblin frowned. As wonderful as the great core was… being so fresh, it was not prepared for anything more than beasts…
At least that’s what the walls whispered to Goblin. His tie to the dungeon saying that Delta… the great one was not ready for this.
Snarling, he grabbed both goblins and threw them down the tunnel.
If they hurried, they could make a bargain. A deal so soon was… well, he didn’t know. Deals with a dungeon core were handled with care, poise, elegance, intelligence, and with great thought.
---
Delta opened one bleary eye at the begging goblins making weird yowling noises.
She knew… somehow, that they wanted something.
“Sure… whatever… let me sleep,” she mumbled and curled up to go back to slumber.
She did not see the glow that filled the two tiny goblins.
Nor did she see them grow and rip out of their old furs as muscles bulged and fangs grew.
Delta dreamed and smiled as the great cake god blessed her with deserts.
She drooled as bloodshed filled her dungeon that very same day she was created.
It was a record for this world. Not that Delta would ever know.
----
Advertisement
- In Serial181 Chapters
Heavenward on Golden Wings
Back after a long haitus! The world of Verre is a strange and wonderful place filled with strange, bewitching landscapes, hidden planes and daunting dangers. In the midst of this wonder and beauty is a harmonic anarchy. Earth and heaven lie opposed and mankind wars with itself as well as the fearsome beasts they live alongside. It is the right setting for myths and legends. Empires and kingdoms, heroes and villains, all rise and fall. Men, women and daemons compete on this stage seeking godhood, making names for themselves and establishing legacies of their own. Born into one of these legacies is Valerian Steelborn of the House of Cragsveil. Blessed with keen acumen and remarkable abilities he steps into a world he expects a lot out of and it, him. How far would he go and what legacy would he leave behind? Additional Tags: Qihuan / Xuanhuan, Magic, Politics, Cultivation, Team Battles, Multiple Realms Schedule: The current update schedule is once a week on Saturdays at around 4pm GMT. Read on my site, LupineKing.com or on my Patreon.
8 122 - In Serial76 Chapters
Archaic Princess
"The past should remain in the past. What do you think?" In the world of magic and technology, a lady found herself in an abandoned aircraft. She remembered nothing except her former humanity. With the body of an Arachna and the mind of a human, she was forced to side with the Arachna to survive. Gradually, she encountered fragments of her past and hints of her future. In the road paved with hope and disappointment, she stood against the world. To protect her significant, she had to. Will update every 3 days.
8 206 - In Serial13 Chapters
The New Dawn
What if you found the girl you loved the most was just a girl that was send to take the documents that your parents have left you?. What You would have done?. And what if the god of revenge Likes you? This is the story of Tom and his new life, but this time in a world with magic and monsters.
8 204 - In Serial47 Chapters
Clarent Saga: Chronicles
Based on my work on Saga of the Jewels, I've been hired by an indie game developer to write the novel for their 'novel + turn-based battles' game which is in Early Access on Steam. Of course, a 'novel + turn based battles' is a terrible idea for a game, which is why no other games like this exist, but hey, the developer is paying me. And if something's worth doing at all, it's worth doing as well as possible, so I am going to give this project my very best shot and try to make it as good as it can be. So if you read this, please give me feedback on the story to help me make it as good as it can be! Please note, for this story I have been given a pre-existent set of characters, character back-story sketches and a rough plot to work with. I also have to insert random battles into the narrative, have set characters appear in a certain order, and have the party fight fixed bosses in a certain order, all at fixed points! Please also note that this is a first draft. I will be editing and re-working this in the future and re-posting it. But I need helpful feedback, if anyone can give it. You can also find the game version of this on Steam by searching there for 'Clarent Saga: Chronicles'.
8 84 - In Serial9 Chapters
The Sacred Sorceress
When Hyrule Kingdom is thrown into peril by mysterious dark forces, it's up to the top three students at Chalice's Elite Knighthood Academy to find the missing Princess Zelda and restore peace once again. Are they up for the task? AMAZING COVER BY @PikaGirl260 PLEASE FOLLOW HER!! (:
8 133 - In Serial84 Chapters
The Devil's Bride
"I am not sleepy so why don't we tell each other a story?" Her voice was low and raspy and fuck, I'd been lying if I say I wasn't turned the fuck on. "Like what?" I ask swallowing my pride and probably my sense of direction. Her skin was on top of mine, in contact, burning. "I don't know." She says taking her time to adjust herself on my lap. I had to grip the chair for support feeling all my breath vanish from my lungs. "Maybe a short bio about yourself." She advocates placing one of her hands on my chest. I feel the contact through my shirt, my eyes trained on every movement of hers. The worst of it all was that she is unaware of what she was doing to me. "Uh-" I feel my words shorten. On impulse, I grab her by her waist for support instead. Leaning back painfully on the single chair. "You're so cute when you're confused!" She giggles going ahead to move slightly on my lap. I blow out a groan feeling my erection harden.
8 113

