《Everybody Loves Large Chests》Interlude - A Cheap Drink

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Lylandros never wanted much out of life. Just to become really famous and get all the ladies. A simple, straightforward dream. But that was then, and this is now. Thoughts of fame and fortune were so far removed from his consciousness that he questioned if he really had them in the first place.

Right now the only thing on his mind was whether he would be able to afford to pay his bar tab. That’s all he wanted to think about. That and the thing right in front of him - a glass of Rotgut. This vile, brown, murky concoction was an alcoholic drink so strong that it could knock out even a dwarf in about 4 shots. It was also incredibly cheap, which was convenient for the poverty-riddled elf. The downside was that it tasted horrible. That much was to be expected considering it used goblin ears as an ingredient. The flavor was so bad that no sane person would try it more than once. Just the rank smell was more than enough to discourage a lot of people.

However, Lylandros knew the flavor of Raela’s brain matter. In the past, he had jokingly said he’d love to have a taste of that buxom elven Druid, but he didn’t mean it literally. Compared to that, this mixture was as delicious as honeyed mead. And he just remembered that fact, which made him even more depressed. If only there was something around to help him forget.

Oh wait, there was.

He screwed up his courage and determination, then downed his drink in one go. The pungent taste and high alcoholic content hit him almost immediately. It felt like a horse had kicked the side of his head.

You are intoxicated. The effects of the AGI, DEX and WIS Attributes has been reduced by half.

He slammed the glass back on the counter with a bit of force while panting heavily, but it wasn’t enough. He was still thinking about it.

In his mind, he knew he made the right call. His common sense told him he had no chance against that monster. It had magic powerful enough to kill a person in one hit. There’s no way he could match up to such a creature. Even if the four of them were completely rested and fully prepared, they could never hope to take it down. And having heard how the subjugation quest he set in motion concluded, he was definitely right.

His mind knew that, but his heart refused to accept it. Dark thoughts welled up from within every time he had a moment to himself. Which, incidentally, was pretty much all the time.

I abandoned them.

Why was I the only one spared?

I should have died with them.

“Ah, crap,” he mumbled. His mind had drifted off into that particular direction again.

The elf seriously doubted he would be able to sleep at night if he wasn’t blackout drunk. Even if he managed to calm himself enough to doze off, he would always be beset by nightmares and wake up a few hours later in a cold sweat. And so, even if it tasted like ass, even if it was slowly poisoning him, even if it made his breath horrible enough to peel paint off the walls - he would still drink his ‘medicine.’

But first, he had to get a refill. He lazily raised his arm towards the barkeep. The rough-looking gentleman with the bald head and black goatee went over to his customer.

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“Let me guess,” said the barkeep, “another shot of Rotgut?”

Lylandros simply nodded in return with a “Yesh.” The spitting image of a habitual alcoholic that had given up on life. The barkeep didn’t judge or belittle the elf for that, though - he knew better. These people would latch onto him the instant instant he treated them as anything other than a source of revenue. They’d one-sidedly pour out their sob stories and either take up his valuable time, or get rowdy when he tried to ignore them. The best solution to those awkward situations was to avoid creating them entirely. The man had long ago ran out of fucks to give, so he kept relations between himself and his customers strictly professional.

“Sorry twiggy,” he said, “but that lady over there bought the last bottle.” He pointed to the woman sitting in the corner. She was wearing a blue robe and had long, straight black hair run down her back. Her sizable breasts were visible from behind, poking out slightly from either side of her narrow back.

“If you want some more, you’re gonna have to take it up with her.”

“No more… more battles? Bottles?” asked Lylandros. He was already struggling to form sentences after just one shot.

“Nope. That was the last of it.”

Although Rotgut was technically a drink, it was only ever ordered either as a prank, as a form of punishment or, in some cases, out of morbid curiosity. But even then it was only ordered once - people who actually ordered a second or third shot were extremely rare. With so little demand, the barkeep only really kept the one or two bottles in stock at any given time. So given the choice between a pretty lady who paid upfront and a filthy twig with a tab, it was obvious which one was the more valued customer.

“FFFFffffuck,” let out Lylandros. He got up from his stool and ambled in her general direction. The elf had one goal in coming to this establishment - to black out for the night. Even if she didn’t want to share the drink, he’d still find a way to accomplish his mission. There are more ways than one to lose consciousness after all!

“Hey now,” the barkeep called out to him. “Don’t get violent with her alright? I’ll have you thrown out of here with both legs broken if you try something funny!”

Lylandros turned around unsteadily and mockingly saluted him.

“Aye aye, cap’n!”

The barkeep just sighed to himself with a mumble of ‘bloody twigs’ before signaling the security he’d hired to keep an eye on the elf. The over-two-meter tall goon that was leaning against one of the walls simply nodded in response that he understood. His job was to keep the elf from causing any damage to the owner’s establishment.

“S’cuse meh,” said the suspect in question to the woman in blue. “Could I bother you fro- for a drink of that?!”

The black-haired beauty turned her head. Her crimson eyes locked with his hazel-colored ones. They then followed his outstretched arm that was pointing at the drink on her table.

“Haaah. Why not?” she said with a sigh. “Have a seat, stranger.”

“Ohhh! Thanks kindly, ma’am!”

“Don’t mention it,” she said with a bit of a bitter smile. It was the sort of face that clearly said she had far bigger problems to worry about than some random elf crashing her one-woman drinking spree. She poured some of the Rotgut into the glass in front of her and passed it to Lylandros with a “Here you go.”

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“Thanks,” he replied while staring at the drink.

Downing this thing was no easy task. You had to swallow it so fast that your tongue and nose would not have a chance to react. Such a feat took a certain amount of mental fortitude and bravery. So when the elf lifted his gaze and saw the girl chugging directly from the bottle in big gulps, his body reacted before his drink-addled mind could. And he threw up on the floor.

The goon saw that and, after silently confirming with the bartender, went to work. Less than a minute later, Lylandros was thrown out into a dusty alley through a side entrance. He fell on the ground hard, like a sack of day-old laundry. The bouncer yelled something about a ‘final warning’ at the poor sod before walking back inside the bar.

Lylandros just chuckled to himself. Tonight was a failure, it seemed. This was the only place he knew of that both served Rotgut and would allow him to keep a tab. He really had nowhere to go, so he just layed there on the cobblestone alleyway. He decided he might as well try and sleep right here. It was already way past sunset, so there was nobody around to disturb him anyway.

Or so he thought. Less than a minute after he heard some footsteps and felt someone looming over him.

“Where do you live?” asked the gentle female voice. His eyes fluttered open and barely made out her face in the darkness. It was that pretty girl who so kindly offered him some of her drink. She bent down and extended an arm towards him. Her breasts swayed dangerously like pendulums when she did so.

“Come on,” she beckoned. “I’ll get you home.”

“Th-thank you,” he said, weakly. He really did not expect her to actually care, but he wasn’t stupid enough to turn down help when it was offered. In reality, this was the first time since that day someone had ever treated him as anything other than a burden. He gripped her tender hand with no hesitation. After helping the poor man to his feet, she lent him her shoulder. The two of them then trotted off into the night.

Whether it was the drink, the oddly romantic moonlit atmosphere or, most probably, the soft breasts pressing against his side, Lylandros felt he rather fancied this girl. He made a small pass at her, commenting on how beautiful she was. The girl simply smiled demurely and blushed slightly, saying he was rather handsome himself. One thing led to another and by the time they reached Lylandros’s hovel, they were already passionately kissing. They barely made it past the front door before their clothes started slipping off their bodies almost by themselves. Not even their undergarments remained by the time they made it to the bed.

The elf was pushed down on the bed by the woman whose name he didn’t even know. She slowly climbed in over him, letting her bare nipples drag along his skin. Intoxicated by the erotic situation, the poor virgin could do little else but hope he wouldn’t bust a nut immediately. The nude body before him felt like it existed for the sole purpose of rousing men’s lust. Not that he was complaining, anyway.

She straddled his waist and grinded her moist lower lips along his already stiff member. She let out a few moans that were positively dripping with passion. After making sure both of them were as aroused as possible, she reached down and grabbed it. The elf watched in awe as she raised her hips and guided his manhood towards her special place. She bit her lip and slammed her hips downwards, taking the entire length inside her all at once, popping the proverbial cherry of the young elf.

But alas the young man could not resist the onslaught of pleasure and came immediately. He grabbed her flared thighs and thrust his hips upwards without thinking. He committed spurt after spurt of semen to her innermost depths while his partner simply hummed delightedly.

About 15 minutes later his orgasm finally ended. The woman simply let out a small, satisfied sigh. It was her first real ‘meal’ ever since she was contracted to that moronic box. She dismounted her partner and got off the bed. Despite accepting copious amounts of bodily fluids, not a single drop ran down her thigh.

Xera snapped her fingers. The discarded blue robes on the ground leapt up in the air and flew at her as if being pulled in by an invisible wire. They splashed against her naked body like goop and began shifting and transforming into their previous appearance. Having completely ‘clothed’ herself in seconds, the succubus then retrieved the bottle of Rotgut she brought with her and poured the last of its contents down her gullet.

“Aw man, they really dilute this stuff nowadays,” she complained to nobody in particular after finishing it off. “This swill isn’t enough to even give me a buzz! Sometimes I really hate this body’s constitution!”

Since her flesh was a magical construct, it really did not need food or water. Even her ‘feeding’ just now was nothing more than scratching an itch. Technically it had the effect of restoring HP and MP, but since she was already full on both accounts the whole affair amounted to little more than a midnight snack.

It wasn’t quite as satisfying as she’d hoped though. She preferred the taste of big burly men rather than these scrawny virgins, but beggars can’t be choosers. Right now her master was sleeping due to its Rank Up, but she had no idea how long her short vacation would actually last. Under these circumstances, is it really any wonder she eagerly gobbled up the first suitable victim she found? That elven lad had no resistance to her Demonic Seduction whatsoever and nobody of note would really give a shit if he died. He was not ideal, but good enough.

“Damn. I really need something stronger. I wonder if I can find some Firewater Brandy around this place?”

She tossed the now-empty bottle of Rotgut away and made her way out of the filthy hovel to seek her next victim.

As for Lylandros, all that was left of him was an emaciated corpse. A body that was little more than skin and bones with a wide, creepy smile on its hollowed out face.

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