We left Sirumaha's territory in silence, Jacob and I. I still could not get over the fact that he deceived me! Yes, I already admitted to myself that I have fallen for him. I love him. But, I am also aware that what he did was wrong! I was not talking about the deception… that I understood, for Carla's sake. However, he ordered Sandlot to strike me! Why would he do that?! That I do not comprehend.

Furthermore, he agreed to Monika's stupid schemes! Hmmph! Secret weapon?! I did not buy it even for one bit! I clenched my fists. I doubt if that was even true! It was very obvious that she suggested that to taunt me and Jacob just agreed! UGH! Why would he agree with Monika right away? Couldn't he refuse her? Fine! She knew the laws. She knew the loopholes. But still, I can also act. I might have been a better performer than Puma!

Finally, why would he tuck the strand of Monika and Carla's hair behind their ears? Was it too hard to keep his hands to himself? I'm sounding too possessive but he kissed me! AND he attempted to kiss me again on the buggy. At least that's what I thought when he touched my lips before the 'whole Carla drama'. Not too long ago, he was upset when Jeu caught me!

I paced back and forth in my room. Jacob is so infuriating! YES! I was jealous. I am jealous! I love him and I wanted to know if he felt the same way. But, how could he feel the same way when he cared for other women as well? I still could not forget how he touched their hair. He does that to me too! Does he do that to every female he meets? Did he do that with Zivi? Or Namibel? Or Arella?

"AHHHHHH!!!!!" I screamed. Jacob is driving me crazy!!!!

My door opened and Jacob's worried face appeared, "What happened?"

I looked at him with angry eyes, "Don't you know how to knock?!"

"I heard you scream," he replied.

"Then you should have knocked!" I yelled.

I saw his forehead begin to wrinkle. "I was worried," he said calmly but I could tell in the sound of his voice that he was starting to lose his control. And that angered me!

I put my left hand on my hips. "Are you getting angry with me?" I challenged him.

The wrinkles increased and his jaw clenched. "I'm trying not to," he responded.

My eyes narrowed, "Don't you use that tone with me."

That did it for him. He scoffed, "What tone?! I was trying to talk to you calmly and rationally but it looks like you wanted to start an argument!"

I pointed to myself with my free hand, "Me? Start an argument?! Who was the one who walked in my room uninvited?!" I raised my voice.

He responded with a raised voice as well, "Are you blind?! I am NOT inside the room yet?! But fine! I'll see myself 'OUT' even if I'm NOT in your room," he said and slammed the door shut!

How dare he?! How dare he slam the door?! How dare he get mad?! In case he forgot he was the one who is at fault! Who ordered Sandlot to strike me? Who went along with Monika's deceiving schemes? Who opened my door without knocking? HIM! HIM! HIM! I HATE HIM! I LOVE HIM but right now I HATE HIM. I never knew that you could experience both at the same time.

*****

It was already late when I woke up. Breakfast was over but I was not in the mood to eat anyways so I did not mind skipping it. Besides, I still did not know how to interact with the crew after the deception. I knew they apologized and I had forgiven them truly but still… I am not over it yet. Maybe if Jacob explains to me why he allowed Sandlot to strike me, maybe then I could completely put the event in the past.

I watched him closely. I wanted him to turn to me so he could see that I am still mad. I wanted him to come and approach me. I wanted to scream at him! I wanted to hit him. I wanted him to stop me when I did that… and I… and I wanted him to kiss me. It's driving me insane and everything was moronic to my point of view and melodramatic in every sense but that is what I felt.

Then, he looked back. He scrunched his forehead after seeing my glares. He closed his eyes and sighed before coming to my direction. I clenched my fists preparing myself for our heated battle.

"Why are you still angry?" he asked me right away after he reached me.

I steeled and continued to give him a dirty look. "I am entitled to, am I not?" I retorted.

He scoffed and repeated what I said, "Entitled to… As we have explained, everything was done to help Carla. Would that not suffice?"

"So if the situation was reversed, what would you do?" I challenged him.

He accepted my challenging stares and clenched his jaw, "I would have accepted the apology and moved on."

I stood up so we were face to face, "Easier said than done!" I raised my voice. I knew the other pirates turned to us.

Jacob scratched the side of his forehead. I knew he was getting more and more irritated. "Then, what do you have us do, huh? What do you have ME do?" He responded impatiently. It was very obvious that he just wanted this to end.

"Why did you order Sandlot to strike me?!" I finally blurted out.

Jacob paused and closed his eyes. When he opened them, I saw his painful expression, "I already apologized for that."

"I need you to explain! I need to grasp your thoughts as to why you did that!" I demanded.

He looked away, "I could not explain it! And even if I could, it was still wrong. I know it was wrong. That's why I apologized."

"EXPLAIN!" I demanded again.

He looked back at me, "I cannot." He took one of his pistols and placed it in my hand. "Shoot me if you want, if that would appease you. But, I cannot explain it."

I gawked at him. "I could not believe you!" I screamed at him. I was about to scream some more but BANG! I was startled by the loud noise. A shot was fired and the bullet grazed Jacob's shoulder cause I saw blood gush out instantaneously.

Did I just shoot him accidentally?