ELRETH

It was so different, the way he'd felt that night—thrilling. Slightly intimidating, but in a way that wasn't scary. More impressive. As if he'd dominated her with sheer desire. She didn't feel lessened by it. She felt… empowered.

Eventually they'd unwound themselves to lay on the broad couch together, her head on his chest, his arm around her back, stroking the skin up and down her spine.

Elreth sighed happily. There were so many things she should be doing just then, but she didn't care. This was… this was what she'd dreamed for her first nights of being mated. This was what she'd always hoped for. She was going to enjoy it.

It wasn't like she was going to sleep that night anyway.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," Aaryn muttered some time later.

"It wasn't scary it was just… interesting. I liked it," Elreth said, tracing a finger around his pec and up and down his ribs. "I haven't seen you like that before."

Aaryn snorted. "No surprises there. I haven't seen me like that before," he said dryly. "I just… I had to have you, El. It was… necessary."

He tipped his chin down to meet her eyes and she looked up at him, examining his gaze that was half-admiration, half-fear.

"You can always have me, Aaryn," she said quietly. "I'm always yours. Forever."

He took a deep breath, as if relieved and she laid her hand flat on his chest. "What's wrong? What made you feel this way?"

"I don't know." Aaryn pinched his thumb and forefinger into his eyes, grimacing. "Probably… probably spending all evening with your handsome, capable Captain of the Guard—and the way he stared at your ass when you were walking out."

"Wait, WHAT?" Elreth pushed up, her hair falling over her shoulders and breasts as she braced, one hand on the couch, the other on his chest. "He looked at my ass?!" Elreth was overwhelmed with conflicting feelings—anger at the disrespect, and a strange sense of power that she wasn't entirely sure she wanted.

Aaryn sighed. "He caught himself and looked away. But I saw it. And it just… it just… I don't know."

"Aaryn, you have to know, I'd never—"

"I know, I know. It's fine, babe. Don't stress. I wasn't angry. It's just with everything else that's been going on between us, I was just… it made me want to possess you—to show everyone else that you're mine. I know that sounds terrible. But I just… I think I needed to prove to myself that we're still here, together. That you aren't going anywhere."

Elreth chewed on her lip, examining him. She'd enjoyed his power and his strength. The confidence he'd shown. She'd liked being dominated by his sheer want. But this sounded… something wasn't right.

"Do you doubt me? Doubt how I love you?" she asked quietly.

Aaryn shook his head and lifted his hand, using one finger to push her hair back over her shoulder and down her back. "I don't in my head. But it's all so new… Reth said the first few weeks can be kind of hard. Possessive and emotional. Maybe it's just that."

Elreth nodded slowly, but she wasn't so sure. There was a cloud in the bright sky of his eyes and she wasn't sure how to blow it away. Shifting her weight, she laid back down, her arms flat on his chest and rested her chin on them where she could still see his eyes, and he could see hers.

"I don't want anyone else, Aaryn," she said softly.

He nodded. "Me either. And I know. I do. At least… for now."

"For now?" She tried hard not to let the irritation creep into her tone. "Forever! You're my True Mate, Aaryn. No matter what we have to get through or sort out… we'll figure it out. And even if it's hard or takes a while… I'm not going to go looking for anyone else."

"Me either," he sighed.

"So why do you look sad?"

He shrugged. "I guess because even though I know it's true, I don't feel it, you know? I wonder. I fear. You're a stunning female, Elreth. I don't think you realize… The only reason you haven't had packs of males chasing you before now is because you were so obviously uninterested. But now… now that you're mated and smell of sex… they're all sitting there, realizing what they missed out on. I guess there's a little part of my heart that thinks one day you're going to turn around and realize what you're missing…" he trailed off and dropped his eyes.

Elreth frowned. "What am I missing?"

He dragged his gaze back up to meet hers, a flat look on his face. "Don't play stupid."

"I'm not. You tell me how you being disformed means I miss out on anything important?"

"Ah, see, 'important.' It's not that you think you don't miss anything, it's just unimportant. But what it if it turns out to be important one day, Elreth? What then?"

"Then you're my True Mate and I wouldn't give you up for anything," she said baldly. "You're missing out on a mate who knows about mating. You're missing out on a mate who can walk through the day without drawing eyes. A mate who can sit in the market at a normal seat and who doesn't get called into emergency meetings by the Security Council."

"So? I don't care about those things."

She raised her eyebrows, and Aaryn snorted, then looked away shaking his head. "It's not the same."

"It's exactly the same. We're all giving up something, Aaryn. The question is whether or not the other person is worth it. And I say you are. I say you're worth so much more than a mate I can shift with. Or who can run on all fours."

She was surprised by the depth of emotion that appeared on his face at her words. She waited, watching his face, praying he'd believe her.

Then he swallowed and finally met her eyes. "Thank you," he said, his voice hoarse.

"You're welcome." The shadow was still in his eyes and the air in the room felt heavy, so she did what she'd always done when he got in a funk and forced herself to grin. "Of course, if you don't dominate me like that again on a fairly regular basis, I might have to change my mind. I don't care who can shift, but making sure I get pounded like that—" she shrieked as Aaryn growled and rolled her over, grabbing her wrists and pushing them up over her head, holding her down even when she struggled.

"Be careful what you wish for," he growled, then tasted her neck, the veins and tendons popping on his forearms as he fought to keep her on her back.

Elreth shivered and kept smiling until the clouds in his eyes scattered and blew away.

*****

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