ELRETH

It was rare that the wolves howled anymore. Elreth's parents told her that in the past, when the Tribe was in its fullness, howling was a part of all their traditions—an expression of emotion, both good and bad. When the wolves had howled suddenly a couple years earlier, she'd been with Aaryn. He'd told her that ever since the war, they'd been careful not to show their unity too much, because the other tribes feared there were still traitors among the pack. But whenever they lost one of their number, when they grieved, they howled.

She was in the market, a little tense because Aaryn hadn't shown up, but assuming he was with his mother, when the first howl began in the distance, raising the hair on the back of her neck.

She'd only heard him howl once before in his life, and it was in answer to someone else's grief, but it was as if the sound called to her heart, tugging at her.

Before she could move, several wolves there in the market stood and raised their mournful howls in response—and then across the City, and the WildWood, the chorus of them rose, wafting through the leaves like a wind of grief and mourning.

Elreth was on her feet and moving before she'd even thought. Gwyn called after her, but she just ran—out the back door from the stage so she wouldn't frighten the people with her urgency. But she knew… she knew… that was her mate that they mourned for.

What had happened?

Was something… had something happened to his mother?

As soon as she made it to the edge of the Tree City, she leapt into beast form and galloped between the trees, running for the Weeping Tree as the crow flies.

Her hackles rose as the howls continued to echo across the sky, though they faded off when she was halfway there.

Her fear ratcheted up in response to the silence though. What was he doing if he wasn't howling anymore.

She was so frantic for him, when she reached the clearing of the Weeping Tree, she barely tugged at her beast and it submitted, letting her take her feet again and sprint the last few feet to the tree, to push between the trailing leaves to the darkened dirt beneath

She stopped dead.

Aaryn sat at the trunk of the large tree, his knees pulled up to his chest, face buried in them, and his hands clawed into his hair.

Elreth whispered his name and threw herself across the space between them, sliding to the dirt to wrap him in her arms.

"What's wrong? What's happened? Aaryn, tell me—is it your mom?"

He put his knees down and pulled her into his lap, curling his arms around her head and burying his face in her neck.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him in tight and they rocked together.

"Please, Aaryn," she said, her own voice high and tight with fear and the pain of seeing him hurt so deeply. "Tell me, what's wrong? Is your mom… did she—"

"No. No," he whispered, but he was shaking. "It's my dad."

"What?!"

Aaryn sat back suddenly, eyes closed, his face lined with grief. But there were no tears on his cheeks.

Then he looked down and picked up something that was in the dirt next to him, and handed it to her. "Read this," he croaked.

Elreth took the two pages from him, staring at him. But he closed his eyes again and tipped his head back against the trunk of the tree, and waited.

So, Elreth read.

And her heart broke.

"This is… Aaryn this is beautiful. And so true." She put a hand to his neck and his head came up. He finally opened his eyes and locked on her.

She was fighting tears of her own, but relief as well. "We'll do this. We'll do it together," she whispered. "I love you this way. I'm already trying to… I know I don't always get it right, but… we can do this, together, Aaryn. I know it."

He nodded and pulled her back into his chest.

"Is there… something else?" she whispered a minute later when he hadn't stopped shaking.

He shuddered. "I always… I always thought of my dad as a bad guy. I actually avoided thinking about him if I could. I didn't want to miss him. I didn't want to be like him. But this?"

He swallowed hard. Elreth stroked his chest and waited until he had control of himself.

"I wished I'd had this, Elreth. This male. I tried to avoid knowing him because I didn't want to miss a bad male. But I miss this. I wish I'd had it. Reading this… it's made me ache for him like it's a wound inside."

"It is a wound," she said softly. "We all need a father… some of us just don't get the luxury."

Aaryn nodded. "I didn't think… I though I had burned him out of me. I thought I'd kept him far away. I thought he was evil, and I didn't want to be close to that. But this… I wish I could have been close to this."

They held each other for a long time, Elreth searching for any words that might help, but coming up blank.

How did you comfort someone who had lost something they couldn't get back?

How did you comfort a male that needed his father when his father was dead?

She couldn't think of anything except to stay close and keep reminding him that she loved him. But as darkness set in and with it the cold, she wondered if part of his tension was discomfort.

"Do you want to come back to the cave? We don't have to talk. But I could—"

"No," he said quickly, shaking his head as he straightened. "No. Thank you, but… please understand, Elreth, I think I need to be by myself for a while.

But he wouldn't meet her eyes. Elreth's stomach sank.

*****

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