“Ah, that’s the spot.” Steam rose from the bath, and Roy leaned against the sides, resting his eyes. Mount Carbon was freezing, but coal and firewood were abundant. Water was too, so the bathhouse ran around the clock. The blacksmiths, guards, and miners would hop into the hot bath after a day’s work to wash away their grime and fatigue.

It was around nine o’clock. Aside from Roy, only a few dwarves who just got off from the graveyard shift were in the bath. They covered themselves in towels, but the towels couldn’t hide their round bellies, muscular arms, and hairy chests. If Roy ignored their faces, he would have thought he was sharing a bath with gorillas.

Roy, on the other hand, had smooth skin and looked fairer than the dwarves, who were mostly dark. Because of that, the dwarves would glance at him from time to time. If it weren’t for the fact they were straight, Roy would’ve scampered off. Even so, he tightened his towel and listened closely.

The pair of dwarves near him started gossiping about him. “Is that a human boy? There’s no hair on his chest, nor does he have a beard. There’s nothing manly about him. In fact, he’s ugly.” He proudly caressed his beard that was floating on the water.

“Human males are hairless pups. None of our women would fancy them, but that’s not an excuse to let your guard down. They’ve never stopped eyeing our women, but we won’t let them get away with it.”

“Alright, shut up! D’ya want to get slammed in the prison? He’s Elder Brovar’s guest. And an esteemed one at that.”

***

Roy was unsure about how to feel after hearing that. His view on aesthetics were that of a human’s, so there was no way he’d be interested in female dwarves who had beards and were as buff as bulls. He’d rather have a sorceress.

So the rumors are true. Male dwarves are inexplicably paranoid and always worry about their women getting kidnapped by ‘evil’ outsiders. Probably has something to do with their birth rate. It’s super low, and the women who are supposed to bear the children are invaluable resources for everyone in Mount Carbon.

As he let his mind wander, Roy stole some glances at the dwarves. He couldn’t stare at them openly in case they took it the wrong way. The dwarves in the bath had strong hips, sturdy bodies, big legs, and strong shoulders. And something long hung between their crotches. These guys may be short, but one part of them isn’t.

I wonder who the leshen marked. Roy glanced back and forth for a few minutes, but it was torture for him. He shook his head. I’m going to get traumatized if this keeps up. Gotta take a break.

Looking at hotties would be a treat, but facing stout dwarves was nothing short of getting subjected to torture. About an hour later, Roy felt a gust of wind blow behind him, and the sounds of footsteps neared. What came next was like a scene of horror to him.

“B-bennett, you o-oaf. D-did you get f-fatter? Y-you’re going to b-become a pig a-at this rate!”

“Barney, you retard! Did you just insult the Shield of Mount Carbon? I challenge you to a duel!”

“Oy, who you calling a retard, you fucker?! Only we get to call him that. You want a taste of this knuckle sandwich, you fuck?”

The towels were off, and the naked dwarves got into a brawl. Chest slammed against chest, bats swung against bats, and wieners… Well, let’s just say they had a sword fight.

“You’re a barbaric retard Maki took from the wilds, shithead!”

“Y-you’re just a l-little shit a squirrel shitted, fucker! Y-you’re so thirsty you f-fuck reindeers e-every night!”

“Retard!”

“D-dammit.” Barney was exhausted from the fight on more levels than one. He wiped the sweat off his head and turned around. What he saw shocked him. “H-hey, boss, t-that guy looks f-familiar.”

Roy started sweating when he heard the familiar stuttering. Curse my luck. I just have to bump into them here of all places. He closed his eyes and slid underwater. The footsteps stopped behind him, and he felt ripples around him.

As the water splashed, one buff dwarf came into the bath. Barney pulled him out of the water with enthusiasm, his eyes wide. “I-it’s you!”

“You got the wrong person, mate.”

Barney’s face was red from excitement, but he couldn’t say anything no matter how much he tried. “Alright, stop teasing him.” Reagan Dalba and his companions entered the bath. He sounded annoyed about what Roy had done. A moment later, the four dwarves surrounded Roy, their eyes solely on him, their breathing heavy.

“We’ll settle this later, Bennett! Don’t think you’ve won!” the dwarf shouted at the guy they were fighting against earlier.

“Scared, you coward?!”

“Fuck off!”

***

The dwarves found themselves kissing their companions and were in each other’s arms when they regained consciousness. Shocked, they checked their bodies, but nothing was wrong. Still, it was a humiliating experience. When they saw the perpetrator in the bath, they let the personal grudge slide first.

“You’re Roy, aren’t you? To think we thought you a friend. I think you owe us an explanation.”

Roy forced a smile and shifted the topic. “That was awesome of you guys. Those weaklings stood no chance against you. If they’d tried to escape even a moment later, they would’ve been messed up.”

“A-at least you have taste.”

“Roy, just because you’re the elder’s guest doesn’t mean you can do anything you want.” Reagan waved his excited companions down. “The wine’s great, though we could do without the extra ingredient. It is fifty-year-old Mahakaman liquor.” Reagan licked his lips, reminiscing the taste of the wine. “But you have to return my crossbow to me. That’s my brother’s gift, and it’s special to me. You’re too weak to use it anyway.”

“Reagan, I’m sorry about your loss, but it’s not here. You can search anywhere you want, even the bedroom.”

Reagan kept quiet.

“B-boss, I-I’m not taking t-this anymore!”

“Why don’t we beat him to a pulp?”

Roy frowned, thinking if he should give the weapon back, since he did feel guilty about taking something of great sentimental value to someone.

“So it seems you’re taking my treasure away no matter what, Roy.” Reagan cupped some hot water and splashed it on his arm. “Fine. We’ll settle this with Mount Carbon’s custom, then.”

“Mount Carbon’s custom?”

“Gwent, weapons, and wine. They’re what we love the most. We hold three matches if we ever come across anything that can’t be settled with a conversation.” Reagan continued. “The one who wins two out of three matches gets to keep the crossbow.”

“So a duel then?” Roy changed his mind. Since he didn’t see the mark on them, that meant the dwarves were innocent. Gaining allies out of them would be good for Roy, since staking out at the bathhouse alone would be too inefficient. Having helpers would go a long way, though he still had the chills at the thought of their naked bodies.

“Ah, so you do have it.” Reagan laughed. “Don’t worry, it won’t be a four on one. We won’t stoop so low against an outsider. It’s a one-on-one duel for a total of three matches. We can start right away if you’re fine with it. The warm bathhouse is perfect for Gwent.”

Roy smacked a beautiful deck on the side of the bath, and he grinned in excitement. Since they’re going to do this, I have no reason to hold back. “I don’t lose when it comes to Gwent. Come.”

Reagan and his companions looked at one another weirdly. “Get the board, Drew. Alright, we’re counting on you now, Dave. Just win like you usually do. Get everything from him.”