《Return of the Woodcutter 》Chapter 16: Of feces and daggers (3)
Advertisement
Jack awoke the next morning, bathing in dried feces. The stench of it was so strong it numbed his acute sense of smell.
He glanced to his left to see a tired but awakened man-thing. Dark cycles under its eyes. Did it have yet another awful night?
"Ah, look at who's awake and kicking," Aito said, cracking a small smile before standing to empty the small basket of water in its hand.
Jack stared at the basket, then at what it contained; a small piece of cloth and dirty water. He then touched his head, remembering his own painful sleep. Something had gnawed at him from inside.
Fever added to aching muscles had constantly prevented him from sleeping properly, barely allowing the monkey to graze the boundaries between reality and dream.
However, something had kept the fever's burning feeling from entirely submerging Jack, providing him with a well-needed support.
Was it the man-thing's doing? He couldn't recall properly, but as far as he knew, the only other living being willing to help him—apart from his perfect self—was Aito.
Did it mean it has remained by his side until now? Somehow, he was touched. Too prideful to admit it or accept it, he felt the need to pay him back. He didn't like the idea of owing something. Even if Jack did not understand what a "debt" was, it instinctively felt wrong to leave it at that.
Having made up his mind, Jack got out of his bed and, in need of a bath, went to the river.
He then dried himself using grasses and leaves before returning to his bed, where Aito was cleaning the feces with a piece of cloth covering his face. Weird. Was the smell that unbearable?
"Kyaak!" Jack said, point towards Aito's bed.
The man-thing gave him a quizzical gaze.
"Kyaak!"
"Are you giving me orders now?" Aito said.
"Kyaak!"
"Okay, okay. I'm coming."
Sitting on its bamboo bed, the man-thing stared at Jack. Then as if it had forgotten something, it said, "Oh wait! I got something for you."
Jack jumped on the bed while Aito took something out of thin air. By now, the monkey was already used to the strange phenomenon. It had stopped caring about "the hows and whats" of things appearing out of nowhere days ago.
"Here," Aito said, presenting a small leather bag. "I noticed your predicament with the daggers you're carrying around. And since I had some spare time last night, I made this. Try it."
The monkey grabbed his present, stored his weapons inside, tossed the bag on his back, and kept it there, using a small rope that traveled from his right shoulder to his left pelvis.
"Hum, it looks a bit too big. It needs readjustment, or…" the man-thing said, its eyes squinting. "Did you get smaller again? And your fur… it's entirely black now. The heck? How d'you do that?"
Advertisement
Jack shrugged, not entirely sure what Aito meant.
"Whatever, we better get back to…" the man-thing said, yawning. "… wwwwork, before bigfoots start attacking."
"Kyaak!" Jack said, pointing at its bed, implying that it should sleep.
"Hum? But…. Alright." It said, lying down. "Just a shut-eye, then…. Zzz. Zzz."
The monkey poked Aito's arm, but no response came. Certain that it was sleeping, he headed for the front gate in order to take care of anything that would disturb his partner's sleep.
***
An hour later.
Jack stood amidst a tree's leaves, scanning the surrounding when he finally smelled two unfamiliar scents slowly heading his way. Two enemies.
How should he handle them? Until now, he had only taken advantage of Aito's rampage to strike from the shadows. Even then, it was only one opponent.
He could certainly take one bigfat down, but the problem was the other bigfat. Jack didn't feel confident confronting one of them on open ground. If he could find a way to disappear from the bigfat's vision for just the span of a moment, but how could that be achieved?
Suddenly, a brilliant idea sparked in his head. That could certainly work, no, it could ONLY work since he was the one who thought about it.
He took out two iron daggers from his bag and blended into the shadows to await the most opportune moment to strike.
During his "camping," he thought back to how much easier it was to scale trees with that new thing, the gift from Aito. It was really useful since Jack used to have a bit of trouble climbing daggers in hands.
He realized that yet another debt just added to his current one, or maybe there was already more than one, to begin with. Jack recalled the night his consciousness had hovered over his body. It didn't feel like he was in control.
That night, Aito had walked out of some kind of watery, bubbly liquid, black round circle. Only then did he regain control over what's rightfully his.
Meaning, he had now three debts to repay. But there was something he did not understand. Why did the man-thing go to such length for him? Was this what a "friend" was supposed to do?
Before he could come up with an actual answer, Jack spotted two huge monkeys walking towards him while carefully eyeing their surroundings; probably looking out for traps.
Their loud steps on the rocky ground made it even easier to spot them. That's why being a fatty piece of moving meat was a drawback.
A few more steps and they would be in the perfect range for an aerial attack. Jack would first kill the one carrying a hammer, then the ax bigfat. No particular thinking backed this train of thought. He just felt like doing so.
Three steps until the opportune moment.
Advertisement
Jack tightened his grip on his daggers, ready to kill in one hit.
Two steps.
He relaxed, dilating his large intestine to prepare his trial weapon.
One step.
He let himself fall on his target and, like Death itself, brought judgment upon those whose time had come to an end.
BAM!
His daggers dug deep on both sides of a bigfat's neck. Certain of his enemy's death, Jack turned his attention toward his next prey. He then pulled out his weapons coated with blood while, in a fluid motion, grabbing freshly made feces using his tail and launched the dirty projectile on the ax-bigfat's face.
SPLASH!
Caught unguarded, the white semi-solid substance sprinkled across its entire face as holy water does during baptism. The bigfat let go of its weapon and grabbed its face as if it was burning.
"Wouaaah!"
Jack paused at the unexpected result. Did white paint hurt that much? It seemed to be in a lot of pain, after all.
The bigfat was rampaging; hitting, punching, and hurling anything within its range. It seemed too dangerous to approach, but for Jack, that was the perfect opportunity.
He zigzagged his way to it, avoiding flying branches, rocks, and punches. Once underneath the towering being, he dodged yet another strike, sprung on its back, and reached its throat for the kill before nimbly jumping on a nearby tree to admire his glorious victory from above.
Perched on his branch, he felt empowered by such a sight. Even the man-thing had trouble dealing with two of them when it was not enraged, that is. However, he, Jack, did all that in but a moment without going crazy!
All of that, thanks to his newfound weapon. And since he could produce such a powerful weapon at least six times a day, he dared not imagine what kind of power he was holding right now.
Dozens will fall under his blades! Hundreds will die at his feet from his infinite wisdom and wit! And thousands will be repainted!
The world will come to dread his new power! The power of the white paint!
***
Gods' council room.
The Four were having a meeting. The topic?
War.
"Filona, any news from Englad's Pass?" Zalon asked, his chin leaning against his two forearms.
"Yes, bad ones." She said, her beautiful facial features darkening. "Phobos has sent 10000 more fearmongers to reinforce the 20000 already wreaking havoc on Englad's walls."
Brutalina, crossed armed, scoffed. "What does it matter? Let's send 10000 more men, and voilà! Problem no more."
Zalon pushed up his glasses, his glare reflecting disagreement. "We have to fight on three fronts. Englad is months away from the eastern and western borders. Sending reinforcements will simply weaken our other lines of defense. We simply lack the manpower. At best we could send 1000 soldiers from reserve forces. But we cannot send more than that. If Equilibrium or Tartarus were to need help—"
Brutalina gestured for him to stop. "Ok, ok, ok. Understood, oh magnificent and illustrious strategist. What's your genius brain proposing then?"
"Wait, I haven't finished my report." Filona interrupted, "Leading the enemy reinforcements is one of the five, Golgoth."
Click!
Belmand's bed cricked and reclined, revealing a god of sloth fully awakened. "Impossible. While the Veil is still intact, no gods can trespass. Valinar herself used her divinity for that purpose."
The Four simultaneously lowered their heads in honor of Valinar's sacrifice and remembering that once they were Five.
After a minute, Zalon reopened the topic. "Filona, send your scouts to Icehel's frozen planes and find out what's going on before Golgoth reaches Englad's Pass. Meanwhile, we'll use our reserves and send half of them to reinforce Englen's troops. Let's proceed to the vote."
Belmand yawned and raised his hand. Brutalina rolled her eyes but still raised her hand. Of course, Zalon voted for his own plan, leaving only Filona against.
"You are asking me to send them to certain death! If there was a modicum of hope for success I would agree, but this… this is just a waste of human lives. You are simply asking my children to commit suicide! Considering your past as a human, you should know better."
Normally, Filona wouldn't care so much about human lives. However, if those were her children, she would fight tooth and nail to protect them. Even if her enemy was another god. Of course, she could differentiate military decisions and personal affairs. But what Zalon was asking was simply too unreasonable for her.
Zalon released his divine powers, shrinking the other gods' domain. His eyes shone with an intimidating frozen blue as his robe fluttered vigorously.
"Don't you dare talk about my past. I am human no more!"
Belmand vanished from his bed and appeared next to Zalon. "Calm down, brother. Filona didn't mean any ill. Filona, sister, apologize, would you?"
The god of sloth eyed her intently, his message clear.
She forced out a heavy sigh. "Sorry, brother. I didn't think things through before talking."
Belmand placed his bony hand on Zalon's shoulder, who retracted his divinity. The four colors in the room returned to their previous harmonious equilibrium and Belmand to his bed.
Zalon sighed before speaking. "Filona, we desperately need that information. Even if the mission is hopeless, we have to try. Countless lives depend on it. If the Englad's Pass falls the entire northern region will follow and after that… the world will crumble. Is that what you want, sister?"
The council room was plunged into a deafening silence. When finally Filona closed her eyes and, with tears flowing down her cheeks, raised her hand.
Advertisement
- In Serial9 Chapters
Petmaster Evolutions
This is a story about an ordinary earthling that sees the impossible and because of that gets kidnapped and introduced the the system called Odyssey which infects planets with mana to create monsters. This story will follow his journey through his trials. I do not believe in overpowered so I will not allow the MC to get to god mode. Since I started writing, the story has evolved some from chapter 1 on through as some stuff just did not make sense and in my mind the story has become clearer. Eventually I will have to go back and edit the beginning chapters to match the rest of the story but I do not have time at the moment. I will update as often as possible but I work full time, school full time, and have a 18 month old and an infant. I make no promises on time between new chapters. Honestly I did not expect people to follow the story and I just wanted to write for the fun of it and to see how the story that was running around in my head came out. I appreciate all of you who take the time to read my story and help me make it better by pointing out any mistakes I make. The only editing and proofreading I manage to do is the word app Grammarly so I miss things sometimes.
8 70 - In Serial6 Chapters
File corrupted
Nuclear war, mutants, pollution, shady business practices; many things had to happen in order for the world to end. Now, no more then 500 years after everything settled, the snow on a certain mountain melted uncovering some curious, black, reflective panels.
8 69 - In Serial43 Chapters
Sirens in Seattle
When pre-med student Mia gets pulled over on her way to school, she doesn't think that the rude Officer Phoenix Adams is anything more than a factor of a bad day. She definitely didn't think she'd see him again.She definitely never thought they would fall in love.Cover done by the amazing @couchpotato2022 !
8 119 - In Serial37 Chapters
Lost Things
"In this disordered continent, where everyone seeks to be the heroes of their own tales, there are still some rooms for smaller stories to breathe." "Past, present, and future—keep your eyes open, and see where they lead you to." This story follows three housemates’ lives: Carson Calding, Virgil Barion, and John Salore—onto their adventures of finding Carson’s past, Virgil’s present, and John’s future. Despite their clashing backgrounds and circumstances that forced them together, they’re definitely going to find the things they had lost, for sure. Each entire chapter will be updated biweekly. There'll be three smaller parts per each chapter. Note that this story was written to be an interactive one, with polls at the end of each parts deciding on what happens next. Though, the polls for this story won't be available on Royal Road updates. (I also upload this in Arcane Odyssey forum, and it's currently the only place where I open the polls and use the poll results from.)
8 270 - In Serial44 Chapters
True Insanity
Selfish. A tyrant. A madman. They called him many things but he ignored them. The man simply did not care what people thought of him. He did not care what they thought of the changes he was causing. He had one goal. And for that he was ready to ignore all morals. He would do anything for the betterment of humanity. He could only laugh when people who had once called him a genius and tried to make him use that genius for the sake of the world were now calling him insane for doing so. But when one tires of life, tires of fighting, ties of goals. The only thing left for him is to leave behind all that he has achieved thus far and move on. And so he did. But what lies after death? Was it heaven? Hell? Nothing? Or maybe... maybe it was just another life. If it was the fourth one... he hoped that this one would go easier on him.
8 164 - In Serial64 Chapters
Gone
Virgil Anxiety Black was in his room recovering from a panic attack when the castle is stormed. His best friend, Remus Lucious, has just enough time to help him escape before throwing himself back into the battle in an effort to save his boyfriend and Virgil's brother, Crown Prince Janus. Virgil finds himself running through the woods and unknowingly crosses the border between his kingdom and the kingdom next door. There Virgil is found by Crown Prince Roman, Remus's semi-long not exactly lost twin. Not recognizing Virgil as royalty and only seeing the garbs that show him as a citizen of another kingdom Roman does what he thinks is best.He gives the poor boy a panic attack while simultaneously arresting him and throwing him in the dungeons.While Roman recruits the help of his two best friends to help him figure out who Virgil is and why he's in their territory Virgil is rightfully panicking over the recent events. After a few hurt feelings and a couple death stares the Light Realm learns what transpired next door. In an effort to help both kingdoms Roman's and Virgil (now acting King Virgil) make a truce and put aside their differences. Roman and his two friends, Marquess Patton and Lord Logan, join Virgil in this epic quest to save their brothers, and the Dark Realm kingdom.Like any great tale this book is filled with Fear! Love! Betrayal! Heartbreak and Despair! And let's not forgot proper non homophobic LGBTQ representation!Extra stuff:-Virgil is a seer -Virgil, Logan, and Janus have magic-Virgil is selectively mute but does speak a few times (rarely. Like only three times in the whole book)-Aro Patton. No he's not gonna date anybody please stop asking.-Ace Remus-Remus and Janus are madly in love and no one can stop me!#2 in Creativetwins 9/14/20#3 in platonicmoxiety 9/14/20Cover by Winstermagic on Wattpad
8 217

