《Classless Ascension 》Chapter 122: Loud Moaning Intensifies!
Advertisement
As soon as Josh keyed in his special login information, he found himself in the sky. All he could see was endless soothing blue and a heavenly light shining on his being.
Then, appeared a short cinematic, yes in the sky. A beautiful woman and a handsome man were thanking the participants for joining, the sponsors for investing, and the spectators for attending this wonderful event.
It was such an awesome cinematic that Josh kept looking for the skip button. There was none. Yep, bad design. Josh would have rated this message B, for Boring AF.
The cute girl saying she'd even give a hug to the winners, why should Josh care? Same for the host inviting them to get a beer with him afterward. They were some kind of celebrities it seemed, but whatever. That's when came a system message.
[Begin special tournament avatar customization now or postpone and head to the party waiting room?]
"Party waiting room it shall be."
Instantly the clear scene changed as it rippled. This new one was ass, quite literately. It still rippled, and it still looked heavenly. In front of Josh's face was an S-Ranked thick booty. On the side, Dale was laughing as he made it rain.
"Hey, Josh! You're finally here! Alright, hurry up and modify your avatar. Then we can start combat."
Josh couldn't help but look in awe at the surrounding scenery. There was cool rhythmic music, lights all over that shone on a stage, some fog giving it all an ethereal air, the chrome poles, and finally, the girls and dudes (?!) seductively dancing.
"What's with the mixed strip club?" Josh raised an eyebrow.
"That? It's apparently one of the sponsors for the tournament. See the ad there. Yes, right in the background: Try the life of an S-Ranker. Plot twist, there is a very small chance it's your life, and they find themselves in a sewer."
"That would honestly be hilarious. Then they would get killed by the killer robot for trespassing." Josh added.
"Nice joke, haha. Wait, do you really have one?! Aren't these things military-grade and not sold to the general public?!" He showed disbelief.
"I honestly have no clue. I just asked for a killer-robot-like cleaner from my designer and he brought me one. It almost diced Kasha so I guess it's pretty good for defense." Josh shrugged.
"Wow! This is just ridiculous. Anyway, that's our party name. Great, isn't it?" Dale was smiling so much all his teeth were showing.
He pressed something, and suddenly, this showed up above both of their heads: <Your Daughter Calls Me Daddy Too>. Josh wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. But he knew he definitely needed to hide his original appearance now.
Fun fact, this avatar editor allowed lots of freedom. So much freedom that the whole skin and clothes colors could be changed, plus the face randomized. That is how a zebra-looking stranger soon appeared in Josh's place. It was time for some fun.
Advertisement
"What the fuck is that?" Dale jumped when he saw it.
"I came here to show off my stripes and to kill bitches, and I'm already done with the first one," Josh uttered in the deepest voice he could muster.
"This is really messed up, even for me. What kind of psycho would do such a thing?!" But Dale was clearly in the process of modifying his too.
He soon took on the appearance of a tiger proudly displaying the flashiest orange in existence.
"Now, we show proper party cohesion. The stripes shall rule the world!" Dale theatrically exclaimed!
"Actually, it seems popular with the chicks too." Josh pointed at the AI stripper that was praising how handsome they both were. Well, perhaps that was mainly because Dale was still making it rain even now.
"Alright, so what's our battle strategy?" He seriously asked.
"Our battle strategy is that we have no battle strategy. You adapt, and you kill. Simple and easy. You got that?" Josh showed confidence.
"Remembering won't be hard. I'll do my best too. Hopefully, it will be enough."
"I sure hope so. Otherwise, I'll have no choice but to sell your organs to afford a custom VR capsule." Josh shrugged.
"As if! I'll start smoking and doing hard drugs right about now. This way, my organs will be 100% unsalvageable!"
"That sounds like a big commitment. Anyway, time to queue up. How do we do that?" Josh was looking around.
"Ready up!" As Dale said that, a big-ass green checkmark ✔️ appeared above his head.
"Ready up!" Josh copied him.
"You gotta shout louder, I think."
"READY UP!" Josh complied, then saw his colleague's teasing smile.
"Nice, but seriously you just need to raise your hand in the air slightly."
"….."
That's when they were teleported on top of a circular platform. At the edge, there was a deep abyss that would for sure cause one's demise. The radius was about 50 meters, plenty to fight.
"Now we just wait for the enemies to show up, I guess," Dale commented.
There were many spectator seats in the distance. There were shouts of excitement and even fans hoisting signs in the air and waving them agitatedly.
The best one had to be an old dad-looking guy holding a sign that said: "Go <Your Daughter Calls Me Daddy Too>!" There was a young woman next to him that looked like his daughter too.
"What's up with the spectator stands? Can't people just spectate from anywhere?" This was a virtual event. Surely the camera would be more flexible.
"Oh, don't misunderstand. They are all bots. All that cheering is fake. It's just to add to the ambiance. Ah, but I did hear that real spectators will be able to send real-time voice messages."
"That sounds like it will get out of hand real fast. Then again, we aren't helping either." Josh chuckled as he gestured at both of them.
Advertisement
"No, no. We are entertaining people. They should give us a medal for sure. Should I start an online petition to add an 'audience's choice' category? I'm sure we would win." Dale proposed.
"HUB, HUB on the wall, who's the coolest of them all. I don't know about you, but our team is wild, yo!"
"You. Did. Not. Wild wow. I'm posting this online." Dale began seemingly typing on a fake copy of his UW.
"So we still have access to the Net even here? Won't there be any issues?
"I guess not. Hey, there are even bets going on. Who knew!"
"Oh, nice! Where is it? I'll bet 100k on us." Josh instantly became interested.
"Wow! Relax, I meant small private bets, not public ones. 100k credits? Do you want to drown them in credits?"
"No, but I wouldn't mind if it happened to me."
That's when a flash of light brought another team to the other side of the arena. The two new contestants looked mean and kept glaring at them both. Well, their bodies were entirely red, and they looked like devils.
Josh couldn't help but chuckle. It seems they weren't the only ones that had fun with the avatar customization. Their team name was <Your Worst Nightmare>.
But as Josh saw them, he couldn't help but be surprised. They were either genius actors or complete beginners. Their plan was extremely obvious. Their gaze changed slightly whenever it reached Josh.
He was going to be their first target. Why? Probably because they could see his nonchalance and they had confused it with a lack of vigilance.
No matter how fast or strong they were, it was wasted if they couldn't hide their intent. Josh would easily be able to use their own strength against them. They wouldn't even count as a warm-up. Ah, plus everyone's power was capped here.
"Our worst nightmare, is it? I'll take the guy on the left and you take the guy on the right. What do you think?" Dale showed a great fighting spirit.
"They seem weak. You take care of them both." Josh hadn't bothered lowering his volume.
The opponents could hear him looking down on them. They were now clearly incensed. It's at that moment that they decided they really would crush this dumb Zebra-looking guy no matter what.
"Both? That's a bit…." Dale showed hesitation.
"If you can't even do that, I may as well fight 1 v 2 from now on." Josh gave him an ultimatum.
"Alright, alright. But don't be too surprised if I lose." Dale sighed.
[Welcome everyone to this phenomenal-looking match! Are you ready for an amazing show?!]
*Fake hype of the fake crowd*
*Fake cheers*
-Hunterz77: "Show that cocky Zebra who's boss! Finish him!"
"It seems you are already popular, Josh." Dale chuckled. Their first real message was a hater.
[3…2…1….Start!]
The enemies sent malevolent gazes at Josh as they charged toward him. But soon, Dale stood in their way to intercept them. He showed clear nervousness, but he remained firm nonetheless.
As the first one came close to him, Dale sent a strike to test the waters. He would then adapt to the man's next move and….
[Contestant eliminated!]
"Why didn't he block or dodge?!" Dale looked in utter shock at the enemy disappearing in a flash of light. Then, he stared at the weapon in his hand.
"You killed my partner! Take this!" The other guy roared in a fury before slashing madly at him.
Dale couldn't help but be taken back. Once more, he showed extreme confusion. That much was a given. There was such a clash between these guys' confidence and actual skills.
A few well-placed counters later, Dale was plunging his weapon into the opponent's head making him disappear too.
"Wow. That was surprising. How weak!" Dale exclaimed before looking at Josh, pondering how he had known.
Josh felt that Dale's skills were actually pretty good. Honestly, he hadn't expected such an improvement. It had been way faster than him back then. How strong was the monk then?
[An incredible victory for team <Your Daughter Calls Me Daddy Too>. Amazing!]
* Fake cheers*
* Few real cheers*
- BallsDeep69: "Nice Victory. I came up with a theme song for your team ♪♪*Sound playing*♪♪: Oh, oh, oh, Fuck Yeah, Daddy. Keep Going, Daddy. Oh fuck. Destroy my little p—"
It had abruptly stopped. Guess this user had just been banned. Would he be able to come back with a VPN or something? Who knew. That is when another guy took it upon himself to celebrate his fellow comrade's sacrifice.
- TheMusicGuy: "Here is a hymn to a fallen soldier…Thrash metal and bass-boosted version." ♪♪*Questionable PG13 music began playing*♪♪
"Pffft, this is crazy. This is our life now. See? We are representing the people. We are giving them hope! We are…" Dale was getting heated.
"Yes, yes, whatever. So do we just keep fighting or?"
"We have the option to take a break, but it's really not needed, right?"
"Yep, let's just queue the next fight. If it's buffoons again, you take care of them."
Before long appeared another team. What the Hell was this? Their team name was: <Your Worstest Nightmare>... They, too, tried looking dangerous. They tried because they failed horribly.
"Wow, just wow. This is getting out of hand." Josh simply sprawled on the ground, looking comfortable. Of course, that provoked various reactions.
"Are you admitting defeat already? Hahahaha!" The enemies guffawed without realizing what this really meant...
Creator's Thought
Funny enough, this whole Zebra and Daddy thing would grow way bigger than any of us could have imagined. Sometimes, something done on a complete whim will be analyzed and overanalyzed by others. Then, after a few iterations, it slowly transforms and gets an entirely new meaning, one that would impact the world so much in this case. Oh, the chaos!
Advertisement
- In Serial55 Chapters
Dangerous Love
|Book 1 in Dangerous Mafia Series| Please read this first|A girl who has secrets and thoughts darker than most. A boy who will be the leader of the most powerful Mafia in the world. A past of heartbreak and pain. Brooklyn Lilac Russo grew up learning how two kill a man in hundreds of ways. She never feared death she embraced it. She knows more languages than you can count on your hands. Killing people has never been a problem. But falling in love? That is something she tried but did not work out. Now, will she be able to find love with a man who rivals herself in death and destruction?Mason Enzo Morelli grew up knowing what his role is in the world. Be the greatest Mafia empire known in every town and city. He built his own gang at 14 and at 21 he has to prepare to take over his family's empire built on fear and death. But a young woman who is blessed with the beauty of the gods but rivals the devil comes into his life and messes up his plans. Can they fall for each other while Brooke's past catches up to her? or will the past take the one thing, Mason loves more than life itself?
8 218 - In Serial27 Chapters
The Wedding of Eithne
Reserve Your Copy Today! Get 40% off the digital retail price, or get 30% off retail for a signed paperback collector’s copy by reserving direct from MDellertDotCom. Direct Kindle edition, delivered to your device on Tuesday, 28 March, 2017. Direct Signed Paperback collector’s edition, shipped to your address directly—anywhere in the world—by USPS on Tuesday, 28 March, 2017. Or reserve it from Amazon! Kindle Edition Unsigned Paperback Edition Amazon Author Page The Matter of Manred Continues... Since the day she was born, the Lady Eithne of Dolgallu has lived under a magical prohibition: she may not marry before the omens are deemed favorable. Now, after a harrowing journey to the most sacred place in the Five Kingdoms, the Drymyn Order, a mysterious sect of powerful priests and priestesses, have pronounced the omens favorable, and her wedding to King Eowain of Droma has been arranged. But Eithne has the right to accept—or reject—her suitor. She did not set this geas upon herself, didn't ask for the special attention of the Gods to her love-life. Yet the time for her decision has come. Eowain has proven himself loyal, brave, kind—all the things any woman might ask from a man. But there’s the way of it: this is the man, you must marry him. Is she not a free woman? Was she not guaranteed the right of choice? Eithne is frustrated by the expectation that she will simply acquiesce to her fate, that she must accept that the Gods wove some secret pattern for her life and she can do nothing to stop it. So how can she prove she has the freedom to choose if she doesn't choose, “No”? How can she know for herself that her will is truly her own if she consents?
8 156 - In Serial24 Chapters
mrbeast imagines ☆
* due to my fixation ending and my unyeilding growth , i do not write in this book anymore . i do not write for real people anymore . "𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞"❦ just saying this sweetie deserves the world#2 in youtube imagines
8 105 - In Serial21 Chapters
Re:Serpent, the Struggles of a 'Snake' to Survive and Evolve...
*Heyo, Evil Overlord here. As some may know, I am the main editor of VanZans, and his fiction, Those Who Aspire to Become Gods. If you do not know, check his work out and see for yourself. This is my first story to test my skills as a writer and a story teller. This may or may not be continued depending on my choice, and available time I have.*Hello, ghost audience, my name is Heibai. It stands for black and white in Chinese, and yes I am Asian, though I grew up in America. I was an orphan, now adopted into a rare family dojo in Chinatown in a certain state. Now I am reincarnated into a 'snake'...killed by a goddamn truck, conjured by fate's sick sense of entertainment, and died attempting to save my sister (she is not related by blood by the way) when I tried to shield her from harm, and here I am...in a new world, primitive, war-torn, and semi-corrupt. Disgusted by the contents of this fantasy world, I must survive and discover the truth to my sudden...rebirth...and find my sister if she is also here, human or not. My main goal of this story...is to fight on and learn as much as I can, and my secondary goal, to see if I can return home...human or NOT.*Might include blood and some gore
8 174 - In Serial12 Chapters
Who Fixes Books Anyway?
On the pretense of a raise, the relatively new employee Pernie is called in to talk with her superiors. NOTE: This is a short story written for a class I took recently. As a result of deadlines, it does not possess the quality (or length) that I would like and is rather thrunkated. Perhaps sometime far in the furture I'll fix it up. For now, I have much more important things to work on, such as my other fiction.
8 218 - In Serial20 Chapters
I Don't Like You - Beomgyu x Taehyun
A rumor about Beomgyu's sexuality spreads around school after a suspicious photo is put online. Taehyun is hoping that it is more than just a rumor.Started:4/9/2019Finished:10/15/2019HIGHEST RANKINGS:#1 in Taegyu#2 in Taehyun#2 in TomorrowByTogether#1 in Tomorrow#5 in TomorrowxTogether#2 in Beomtae
8 248

