《Classless Ascension 》Chapter 86: This Monk Is Useless!
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♪ Du-du-du-du! ~ Subordinate Acquired! Congratulation! ♪
Josh imagined a cheerful jingle in his head akin to old-school RPGs. This cheap System that was in charge of humanity wouldn't even do stuff like that! He felt his first subordinate was a noteworthy event. It was his first step toward world domination, after all. With a solid team, anything would be possible.
Why had he chosen this specific monk then?
The man was disgustingly shabby, hadn't eaten in a while, and had messy brown hair and a beard in serious need of a trim. The man's clothes were also torn in in many places showing his chest.
That is when Kasha muttered under her breath: "No wonder he's immune to my charm! Who knew he'd have such unique tastes." She was intently eyeing the monk's appearance as she said so.
Josh simply ignored her, for he was busy staring at the monk's chest too. Had he suddenly awakened to a primal urge to hug a monk? Nope, he had noticed something amazing. The man was starved and had come back alive with the mention of food, yet his body was in good condition.
He probably wouldn't be able to fight, but surviving for a while longer wouldn't be an issue. Was that an effect of leveling up? Most probably. That is when Josh made a mental note that starvation torture wouldn't work on Climbers in general.
Under Josh's scrutiny and Kasha's chuckling, the monk couldn't help but quickly cover his ass subconsciously. He kept nervously gulping before forcefully stopping himself. He wouldn't swallow before this man in case it gave him ideas!
Josh had no time for this nonsense as he turned toward the monk and pointed at the amulets lying behind his back.
"Alright, I'll have you work on a new piece of wood for me. You'll need to handle it with care and focus. It needs to be as hard as possible. It needs to be attractive to monsters. Finally, I really want you to put all your heart into this. Can you do it?"
As soon as the monk heard about pouring his heart into handling hard wood, even attractive to monsters, he began to feel his hair rise in disgust. While taking a step back, he voiced out. "Do I really have to be the one doing it?"
He kept glancing at the gorgeous Kasha nearby and wondering what was wrong with the man for him to ignore such beauty and ask such a disgusting monk like him to…he didn't even want to think about it!
Seeing him hesitate, Josh reiterated. "Can you craft me an amulet or not? It must attract monsters!"
That is when the monk looked behind him. The "Devil" hadn't been pointing at him at all but at the pile of amulets laying on the floor behind him. He instantly sighed in relief. Of course, the Devil was here for the curses! The monk got ahold of himself.
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"I'll need AA grade rosewood, real gold, a small furnace, some professional sculpting tools, and a hot dog. Actually, about a dozen. Tons of ketchup, nothing else! I'll craft you the very best amulet I am capable of. You have my guarantee that it won't provide a single blessing, only curses!"
"Perfect! Guide, are you able to acquire all of that? I'll give you a commission." Josh was already delegating the troublesome task.
"Yes! Right away!" He then departed as fast as he could, motivated by the smell of Credits. Yes, that expression existed for a virtual currency too.
A few minutes later, he was already back with the monk devouring faster than Josh had ever seen any human do. It was a dumb idea for a normal recovering person, but he was a climber, so he'd probably be fine.
"That, I'm not sure I'll be able to enchant it with attracting monsters specifically, it could be other curses like poverty, distraction or even condemned to remaining alone and-" The monk didn't look confident.
"Do it. I have great hopes toward you, don't let me down.", Josh interrupted him.
Thus began the crafting. The monk even went the extra step as he used failed blessing amulets, aka cursed ones, to fuel the fire. The monk suddenly had a whole new air to him. His back was straight, his hands steady, his gaze serious, and his entire person became dignified.
It all looked incredibly sacred. Quite ironic considering what he was wearing and the goal. Josh could notice that the patterns he was currently drawing were similar but quite different from the fodder he had thrown in the fire.
After a solid half an hour, it was finally over. In front of them stood a shitty-looking amulet that somehow oozed evil. It was the kind that would make the perfect prop from a horror movie.
As Josh went to grab it, the monk stopped him. Then, in an incredibly solemn voice, he asked: "I don't mind handing it over, but I need to know what you will use it for." He seemed ready to snap the amulet were he to dislike Josh's answer.
"Why? Short term, I'll use it to increase the spawn rate in the Tower. Long term, it will be for world domination." He smiled as he said so. The monk simply nodded and let him grab it.
Wearing it, Josh didn't feel different, but he believed it would work perfectly. Why? Because he had sensed the monk's resolve during the crafting. If even that failed, he would have to give up this plan for now.
In the background, Kasha was getting heated: "What's the point of asking him if you'll hand it over anyway?! Wasn't this a Serene Tranquility Temple?! He goddamn said world domination!" She couldn't believe the sham that was happening right under her eyes. Had the monk doomed the world for hot dogs?!
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The monk shook his head. "That's where you are wrong. He may have said something ridiculous, but he said it peacefully and confidently. This was very serene and tranquil of him!"
"…."
"…."
Josh turned to the tour guide. "I'll transfer 330 Credits to you. Bring the fake-monk to get a UW, a decent weapon, and to get cleaned up. You can keep the rest."
"Yes, Sir!" The man enthusiastically replied. Somehow even tour guides had UWs, and a Climber didn't. Talk about shabby!
"That…I am a real monk!" He denied. "But even with a weapon, I won't be able to Climb. My luck is horrendous. Plus, I may as well not have a Class seeing how useless it has been so far."
Josh simply chuckled. "What a coincidence! I don't have a Class either. Anyway, talk later. I need to test it all in the Tower." He left a baffled monk behind that was repeating 'Classless".
Then it was just Josh and Kasha walking together toward the Tower. She couldn't help but comment. "Others pick up stray dogs, and goddamn Josh Malum picks up stray monks! Seriously I don't follow your reasoning on that one."
"Oh? What confuses you?"
"He's clearly cursed! He can't Climb alone, he can't party up with others without screwing up their runs, and he can't even work a normal job! What are you going to do? Have him craft curse amulets for you all day long?!"
"That is an option.."
"No, it's not! Didn't you know? Even artisans have to Climb the Tower! This is how they become better at their craft! This is how they improve!"
"Can't they simply craft and keep crafting to get better naturally?"
"*Scoff* Do you know how long that would take?! They would quickly get left behind. They need the memories one gets automatically from leveling up." She advised.
If that was really the case, Josh himself would be doomed. No matter how wise she sounded, he wouldn't get himself influenced. Worst case, he could rely on bloodline and set items to become more powerful. There was just one missing link, the skills.
She kept going. "Let me tell you this. It may not matter as much now, but later on, it will. The more we Climb the Tower, and the higher the ranks of the materials dropping will be. Soon it will be too hard for craftsmen that aren't Climbing to handle."
"I see…"
He understood her point for sure, but it still felt there was something wrong with such philosophy.
If the heroes of the past had acquired these skills, what prevented them from doing the same? He could only see one possibility: time limitation (or even lifespan directly).
"So your plan to have him craft amulets won't succeed. Right now, simple materials may work, but later on, there is no way it will be that easy. I truly believe this to be true. I suggest you give up on him. He is doomed." she added.
Josh simply chuckled as he kept walking.
Kasha reiterated: "I'm serious! I don't want you to get your hopes up and…."
Josh sighed as he looked at her, shaking his head slightly. "If I had listened to such common sense upon coming to this world, I would already be dead. I would have curled up because of my lack of Class, and I would have resolved myself to my end. Yet, here I am."
She jumped in realization. She never meant to offend him at all. To her, he wasn't included at all in this useless evaluation. He was clearly an exception. "I didn't mean you! You're special!" She said in a hurry.
Josh looked upward as if he was trying to see his memories forcefully. "I'm just a normal man. Nothing else. Just a normal man that had to face some difficult times. The only difference is that I kept going, no matter what."
She laughed awkwardly. "Don't sell yourself short. There is no way that is true. You clearly..."
He fixed her right in her charming hazel eyes. "Clearly what, different? I didn't give up. That's it. I'm just a man. Nothing else." In his stare, she could perceive how serious he was. She even adverted her gaze, unable to withstand his intensity.
He left it at that. It wasn't some kind of profound wisdom. It was simple. There was an adage that said: "as long as there is life, there is hope." It was bullshit! So much bullshit that it could compare to many students' papers added up! Most gave up way before their lives were even threatened!
People gave up on their friends, people gave up on their dreams, and people gave up on themselves. Josh hadn't done so ever since their passing. His motivation might have been revenge, but it had gotten him through it all.
Josh truly believed that anyone going through what he did would end up as strong, if not stronger. He was no genius. He was but a normal man. If he could do it, why wouldn't this monk be able to?
The monk simply had to find a way to control his powers. Either disable them entirely or change the target to enemies.
That is when they finally reached the Tower. It was time to test the new Floor 12 efficiency with the amulet. As Josh spawned, a system notification was already awaiting him. He couldn't help but burst out laughing.
This was just ridiculous!...
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