《Cultivation Chat Group》Chapter 1271. I only have 99% charge left, I“ll hang up first!
Advertisement
After Doudou finished saying that, he added, “If you refuse, our friendship will be over!”
Song Shuhang said, “Well, then our friendship is… ugh, alright, since it’s ‘best man’, I’ve no problem with it.”
Doudou angrily said, “Shuhang, you were going to say ‘our friendship is over’, weren’t you?”
Song Shuhang seriously said, “You heard it wrong.”
Doudou responded, “I’m a dog, a monster dog on top of that, my ears are very sensitive.”
Song Shuhang whispered, “Shh~ Lower your volume, my mother is right in the next room.”
Doudou lowered his volume, and said, “You still haven’t told your mother about cultivation?”
Song Shuhang whispered, “I’ve never gotten the chance to talk to her about it.”
Song Shuhang had been busy every day since he entered the world of cultivation.
Doudou rolled his eyes, and said, “You’re already at the Fourth Stage, and you still haven’t told her. If so, until when are you going to wait before telling her?”
Song Shuhang said, “Although I’m already at the Fourth Stage, don’t forget that I’ve only been cultivating for four months.”
Doudou: “…”
The room suddenly fell completely silent.
After a moment.
“Ah~ Woof, woof!” Doudou flew towards him and opened his mouth wide.
“Let go! F*ck, pay attention to your image, and let me go already. You’re going to lose face if you still don’t stop!
“By ‘let me go’ I didn’t mean for you to change the place you were biting, are you a dog or something?! Oh wait, I forgot that you really are a dog.
“Anyway, just stop biting me already. I’m telling you, I have all kinds of body-tempering cultivation techniques, and my body is very hard. Biting me won’t be of use.”
After a short while…
Footsteps could be heard coming from outside the living room, and Doudou promptly let go, seemingly very satisfied.
He went back to holding the teacup and displayed a kind smile on his face.
“Those body-tempering techniques really weren’t too bad— ugh, I mean that my dog teeth weren’t bad at breaking those techniques.” After Doudou said that, he grinned with pride.
He didn’t show it, but Doudou’s teeth were actually hurting. Did Song Shuhang’s physique become stronger again? My teeth really hurt. Moreover, I was biting him for so long, yet I was only able to leave two faint bite marks on his arm…
Mama Song brought in some snacks and smiled. “What are you chatting about that’s making you both seem so cheerful?”
Doudou said, “I was just inviting Shuhang to be my bridesmaid—no, my best man, and Song Shuhang agreed.”
Mama Song curiously asked, “Oh? Nicholas Dou, you’re getting married?”
It was really rare to see someone this young get married already.
Doudou replied, “I’m getting married tomorrow.”
Mama Song said, “So soon? Shuhang, have you made time for it?”
Song Shuhang said, “Mom, you don’t have to worry. I’ve got it covered.”
“Alright, then I’ll let you handle this yourself, and you two can continue to talk,” Mama Song said with a laugh as she left the living room to give Song Shuhang and Doudou some space.
Advertisement
When young people chatted, it would make it very difficult for them to speak openly if she were to stay with them.
After Mama Song left, Doudou whispered, “Honestly… your parents have already missed the appropriate age for cultivation, so even if they were to start cultivating now, it would already be too late. The best way to deal with this is to do something like what Medicine Master did: look for life-prolonging medicinal pills and prolong their lifespan.”
Song Shuhang responded, “I know… I have the ‘living spring’ and the scholarly faction’s virtuous golden lotus, and these two have the ability to prolong people’s lifespan by 100 years.”
He had already secretly used the living spring on his parents. As for the virtuous golden lotus, there was no hurry—this thing was different from the living spring as taking it would cause one to develop powers.
Song Shuhang said, “In addition, Senior White is also planning to design a [Martial Arts Expert Training System]. When he finishes making this system, I’m planning on getting one for both of my parents.”
“It looks like you’ve already got a plan for your family.” Doudou licked his paw.
Song Shuhang said, “It’s best to be prepared. No matter what it is, it’ll be easier if you have a plan already.”
“Good point,” Doudou said. “Then should we start thinking about our best men group?”
Our best man group? It’s yours, not ours! I’m not marrying anyone.
Song Shuhang cursed inwardly.
Doudou asked, “Shuhang, have you ever been a best man?”
Song Shuhang shook his head.
Doudou mocked, “So weak, you actually haven’t even been a best man before.”
Song Shuhang retorted, “I’m just a sophomore, alright? My friends are about the same age as me, and none of them have gotten married. How was I supposed to be someone’s best man?”
Doudou worriedly said, “Then what do we do? You have no experience, and I have no experience, either.”
Song Shuhang chuckled and pulled out his laptop. “In the era, if you need to know about foreign affairs, then ask Big Brother Google, while if it’s about local affairs, then ask Big Brother Baidu. With a search, anything can be found!”
Doudou asked, “How do we search?”
“Watch this.” Song Shuhang turned on the computer and opened up Baidu.
Song Shuhang entered, [What do wedding groomsmen need to prepare?]
A lot of content immediately appeared on the screen.
“Wait a minute, add that the groom is a dog and see what special things need to be prepared.” Doudou took the computer and began typing.
In the next moment, a page of new content appeared on the screen.
[Shocking news, people are really abusing single dogs! According to the news: a resident of Kunyi City by the name Huang and a good friend of theirs held a wedding for their dogs at a park. In this era of romance, even dogs are having a wedding and inviting guests to dinner. At the wedding, the dogs wore respectively a wedding dress and a small suit, and even got a special marriage certificate. The atmosphere was extremely romantic. The pair of dogs exchanged wedding collars under everyone’s eyes. The whole process was pretty much no different from that of human beings. The scene was rather funny.]
Advertisement
Dissatisfied, Doudou said, “This news is racist, I’m going to go and report it first.”
Song Shuhang: “…”
When he saw this news, he found the situation a bit ridiculous.
Before seeing this matter, he felt that True Monarch Yellow Mountain wanting to prepare a grand wedding as he married off his dog was a very normal thing, but now he found out that… Doudou’s wedding was pretty much the same as normal people holding weddings for their dogs.
“By the way, Shuhang, do you know of anyone who might be willing to be a groomsman? We need to find a few more guys. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be too lonely if you were the only one with me?” Doudou said while looking at the news.
Song Shuhang said, “Don’t you have several good friends in Wenzhou City? Can’t you just look for them and have them be your groomsmen too?”
“There’s no point,” Doudou said bitterly. “With my character, when I go and ask them to be my best men, they will think that I’m deceiving them. They will think that I still want to make them my ‘bridesmaids’, just that I’m coaxing them with the title of ‘best man’ this time.”
Song Shuhang remarked, “You really are quite self-aware.”
Doudou proudly said, “Of course.”
Song Shuhang: “…”
Doudou reminded, “Just avoid getting Thrice Reckless to be a groomsman. I feel that if he and I are together, something big will happen.”
Song Shuhang: “…”
Doudou asked, “Do you have anyone in mind?”
Song Shuhang asked, “Do you mind if they’re from a buddhist sect?”
Doudou said, “I don’t mind, as long as they can make up the number.”
Song Shuhang continued, “I’ll make a phone call to Senior Brother Three Realms and Guoguo. Guoguo can act as a page boy, while Senior Brother Three Realms can be a best man.”
After saying that, Song Shuhang called Senior Brother Three Realms.
Senior Brother Three Realms laughed, and said, “Hey, Shuhang, why are you calling me?”
Song Shuhang said, “I have something that I might need Senior Brother Three Realms’ help with. I’m wondering if you’re free these days.”
Senior Brother Three Realms replied, “I should be pretty free these days, what do you need help with?
Song Shuhang said, “Well, brother, would you be willing to be a groomsman?”
“No problem, you’re getting married?” Senior Brother Three Realms asked curiously. “Who’s the other party? That little genius of the Su Clan? Or could it be some other fairy from the group?”
Song Shuhang replied, “Cough, I’m not the one getting married, it’s Doudou. Doudou wants you to be a groomsman and Little Guoguo to be a page boy.”
Senior Brother Three Realms: “…”
The air fell completely silent again.
Song Shuhang said, “Hello~ Senior Brother Three Realms, what do you think?”
Senior Brother Three Realms responded, “Cough, what’s this. Shuhang, my phone only has 99% charge left, I can’t talk for any longer, I’ll be hanging up now. Let’s talk again some other time.”
Song Shuhang: “…”
99% charge is pretty much fully charged, what’s with the hanging up?
“Brother, next time you refuse something, at least use a good reason. It would have been better if you said that you had 1% left.” Song Shuhang got a toothache.
Senior Brother Three Realms responded, “Ah, that won’t do. Monks do not lie, and my cell phone still has 99% battery left, so I can’t insist that it has only 1% left. Otherwise, it would be a violation of the precepts.”
Song Shuhang suggested, “I’ll give Senior Brother some time, then maybe you can think of a better reason to refuse?”
Senior Brother Three Realms replied, “Honestly, I only want to attend Doudou’s wedding as a guest tomorrow, and I don’t want to be a best man. The food in the wedding banquet is all going to be made by an immortal chef. There are going to delicacies from different places, just thinking about it makes me salivate.”
Song Shuhang said, “Aren’t you vegetarian?”
Senior Brother Three Realms replied, “I am a layman disciple, so I don’t have to abstain from meat. Anyway, forget about me being the best man, but I’ll send Guoguo over to be the page boy when the time comes. That’s that, see you tomorrow.”
After he finished saying his part, Senior Brother Three Realms couldn’t wait to hang up the phone.
Song Shuhang also hung up, and then looked at Doudou. “I haven’t found you another best man yet, but I got you a page boy.”
Doudou responded, “I’m so tired.”
Song Shuhang retorted, “I’m even more tired. By the way, I’m going to Senior Creation in a while. There will be many fellow daoists there: Soft Feather, Riverly Purple Mist, Senior White’s clone, and also my disciple Little Cai and Lady Onion. Doudou, wanna come with me?”
“Are you going to listen to Dharma King Creation’s concert?” Doudou’s eyes widened. “Are you tired of living as well? Why would you go and listen to Dharma King Creations’ singing?”
Song Shuhang sighed, and said, “There’s a reason why I must go.”
Ye Si was facing her inner demon tribulation, and she still had yet to recover.
Doudou thought for a while and gritted his teeth. “As long as you help me get a best man, I will be ready to lay down my life and accompany you!”
❄️❄️❄️
Song Shuhang and Doudou went to say their goodbyes to Mama Song, and then set off for Dharma King Creation’s concert.
During the flight, Song Shuhang tried to contact Senior White Two.
I wonder if Senior Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue and Fourth Cultivator of True Virtue have been rescued…
Senior White Two said, [What’s the matter?]
Song Shuhang asked, [Senior White, have you saved Fourth Cultivator of True Virtue and Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue?]
Senior White Two said, [Yeah. However, I failed to capture that big-eyed planet. And… the Beast Realm is in for some big trouble now.]
Song Shuhang asked, [Has the biochemical crisis gotten worse?]
Senior White Two said, [No, the big-eyed planet ran to the Beast Realm.]
Song Shuhang: “…”
Advertisement
- In Serial623 Chapters
Demon’s Virtue
"Bleh." - Imp An Imp, a monster known to kill with a grin, a demon of the world, a creature of incredible might! Something that no force in the world can stand against! At least that's what the Main Character would like himself to be, the reality is very different, however. Exactly that Imp stumbles along a path of unfortunate fortunes and grows through it, in a world that hates its very existence.
8 818 - In Serial8 Chapters
The fisher and the beast (Complete)
A ditzy goddess summons a bunch of humans to Nugaia and tells them to fight an undead horde. She then dissapears and leave them alone, fortunately before that blessing them with some skills to survive...
8 138 - In Serial11 Chapters
Don't Breathe
A demon lives nearby the cottage Akira and his classmates are staying in - or so the legend says. In hope that Akira would see Kazuya's terrified facial expresssion, who's never afraid of anything, he suggests a test of courage. As they wander into the forest, Akira never expects anything serious to occur. Though, the more time they spend in there, the more he realizes something is wrong. And the more he realizes, that the truth behind the legend is a real-life nightmare.
8 74 - In Serial19 Chapters
A Gathering of Humans
What would happen if animals made a nature documentary all about humans? Fiddler is a mouse with a big idea and an even bigger attitude. He works in TV and wants to reveal to his woodland friends the mysteries of the human world. But humans are dangerous, and Fiddler's rivals want him stopped. Can he achieve his dream and make the best wildlife documentary ever? You'll have to find out. 'A Gathering of Humans' is just a silly tale I wrote a long time ago. It's a bit of fluff, mostly for younger people but if you need a bit of light-hearted reading in your life, I hope you will enjoy this. Oh, and suspend your disbelief for a little while.
8 195 - In Serial11 Chapters
Silverestia Chronicles
Silverestia, a once amazing kingdom is under threat by the evil kingdom of Sheedhied. James Noah Smith decides to take matters into his own hands and stop evil and injustice once and for all. But James Noah Smith is not everything he makes himself up to be, and the path to victory is filled with wild twists and unimaginable horrors. He may have to learn a thing or two or even three if he truly wants to save his kingdom and be able to tell his tale back in his village. This is his diary. Hear what he has witnessed and experienced first-hand. Or maybe not.
8 162 - In Serial78 Chapters
Those Zombies Again
One day Sam wakes up in a world full of zombies and tries to survive.PSFirst of all i would not recommend this novel if you haven't read like hundred of novels already. Its pretty weird and depressing novel.This story is told almost completely from MC point of view. Third person.MC is a pretty ugly random guy with different psychological problems. He is antisocial and limited person.Lore - Since MC is limited and barely interested in people or just surroundings, you will get pretty limited descriptions on stuff, it was meant to be like that.Characters - Obviously for the same reason, you will not see much characters, usually you wont get their description or even names.Fights - I personally hate those fights in novels which take like few chapters to describe some shitty encounters. For example MC is making his "move" and then you get half chapter of description of his thoughts and the ways his face is looking, and the way like his opponent surprised and the way crowd is reacting and so on. I really hate all that shit so fights in this novel will be described not that often, only if an equal or a new opponent, and only in a strict and straightforward way, no bullshit.Now this novel is not exactly fantasy, its more like grim realistic-fantasy.But i will have to explain what i mean. Lets take rape in most novels as an example. Usually MC will be justified to rape a girl one way or another. Common example is aphrodisiac. Or the girl were trying to kill him so he had to "punish" her. Or she just happened to jump on his thing and then after rape she become his girlfriend etc, Those are examples of "fan service" in novel. So MC would be justified and readers woun't feel too uncomfortable to read something like that.So there is no "fan service" in this novel, like at all. You will have to read some stuff that will make you feel uncomfortable and you woun't like it.Common sense also means that there is barely gonna be any "random" events which MC is gonna be part of. No treasures and superpowers he founds because he is "special". He will not meet antagonists on his way.This novels world will not spin around MC in any way. He will usually sit in his deep cave and no one around will give a damn about him or even know of his existence.So this novel is not for you to have fun and enjoy reading. Not to make you feel comfortable, satisfied or happy.Its probably the opposite.There are some standards which novel usually sticks to in order to become popular. Obviously i did not meet those standards at all.
8 151

