Seven months had passed since he came from China to the faraway Britain. Chen Jian was getting used to life in this distant country. His language proficiency progressed very quickly in an environment where English was spoken everywhere. Only his studies progressed slowly at the University of Nottingham.

It was not that he did not want to study well but that he was too tired.

In the beginning during that period, his landlord, Fat John and his family were used to seeing the somewhat tanned looking Chinese young man dragged his exhausted body back home after the training and returned to his room to study English diligently once he had dinner. Then the next morning, he would go Wilford if there was training or take a bus to the University of Nottingham if there was no training.

Simple days like these were repeated. He rarely went shopping in the city center and did not go to any parks to relax. Other than John sometimes obtained an extra ticket for him to go to the City Ground stadium to watch the Forest team play, the city of the legendary English hero Robin Hood was just these three places, “Wilford training base”, “University of Nottingham” and “Mr. John’s house” and the roads between them to him.

Such arduous time slowly improved recently. He already had no problems with his English listening and speaking abilities. He could now communicate with his landlord at the dinner table and listen to John talk about Nottingham Forest’s proud history.

His body had adapted to the youth team’s training program and had shown his consistent qualities in training which were his strength and hard work.

However, he still felt very tired. Not just because the intensity of the training was particularly strong, but also because of the psychological reasons…

Chen Jian had formed the habit of keeping a daily diary since he came to England. His original intention was since this was a valuable life experience, he did not want this period of experiences to be forgotten over the course of his life as time went on. Therefore, he wanted to record his life, training and study in Nottingham in a written form.

Now when he flipped back at the earlier diary entries and read those crooked lines, he would recall each day during these seven months. In fact, he felt that even if he did not write a diary, these seven months, as well as the remaining five months would not be easily erased in his memory. They were too deep and strong, as real and clear as the aching in his body after the daily training.

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…

“Chen! Can’t you run anymore? Can’t you?” The youth team manager, Greenwood leaned over and opened his mouth wide as he was almost going to bite Chen Jian’s ear. He rushed to Chen Jian, exhausted on the ground, and loudly scolded in English, regardless of whether Chen Jian could understand. “If you can’t do it, you can go home now! No one’s going to keep you here! No one here has any hope for you! You’re just a lucky contestant from the talent show! Do you really think you’re lucky? Stand up! Keep practicing! You’ve got twenty more runs to dribble the ball back and forth! Don’t delay my dinner time, this is the most ordinary youth team training!”

Chen Jian could not understand what Manager Greenwood shouted. Even though the manager always had such a loud voice during the training, he knew that the English coach must have been unhappy with himself—he’d never seen anyone crouch next to his ear to compliment him with such a fierce expression.

He got up from the ground and wobbled as he continued to dribble the ball forward. He ran a few steps forward before he stumbled and fell to the ground again. But this time, without waiting for Greenwood to continue to rush up to “rain down on him with wrath”, he climbed up and continued.

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“Are you calcium-deficient or had polio as a kid? Chen! If you can’t withstand such a tiny collision, how are you going to play football? Are you a little girl? Do you secretly stuff your panties with sanitary pads? Are you having your period? Get up, continue! What are you hiding from? This is not motherf**king playing football. This is war! If you can’t win, you might as well die. Anyone who runs away and does not die on the battlefield, will be dead by my hands! If you’re so afraid of getting hurt, I can recommend you train with ten-year-olds! Do all you Chinese behaved like this? Direct confrontation! Face the confrontation! How many times do you want me to say that? Face it!!”

Chen Jian could more or less make out the series of grunts from the youth team’s loud-mouthed coach’s mouth and what they meant. He did not shout back, nor did he did not wash his hands off it and leave. Instead, he got up, and yelled as he rushed up to his opponent. Then he tackled the opposing player to the ground with a foul.

The young man who was knocked down by Chen Jian shouted in an exaggerated way. He laid on the ground and did not want to get up.

“James, if you’re going to keep lying on the ground and pretend to be lazy, I’ll punish you with running ten laps with the ball!” Greenwood changed the aim of his muzzle this time and rushed to bellow next to the ear of the boy lying on the ground. The other person immediately jumped up from the ground. He certainly did not forget to give Chen Jian a smack in the chest and said, “Hey! You should have just used the force just now to vent at the coach!”

The youth team players who were enjoying this lively sight around them, watched and laughed. Greenwood also applauded Chen, “Although it was a foul, a defense player has to be used to fouling to stop the other side. And it was a good momentum… Another thing don’t go ‘ah ah’ and yell out the next time. You looked silly.”

There was more laughter.

Chen Jian wrote in his diary: “… I still don’t quite understand, but I think Manager Greenwood praised me. It was the first time in three months that he had complimented me… Professional football in England is indeed different from what I’ve heard at home…”

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“Chen, you should pay attention to the position of the opposing attacking player! You chased after the ball, but why were you chasing the ball? Do you think your physical strength is that good? This is not your talent show. You won’t be able to hold on till the halftime interval with that little strength of yours in a professional game. Are you training here for professional competition as your goal? If that’s not the case, then you just take it that I did not say…”

“Of course, I am, Manager Greenwood, of course. But George Woo…..”

“You want to say his stamina is very good, right? Yes, his stamina is extremely good. But he’s a monster. Are you a monster? Are you George Wood?”

Chen Jian shook his head.

“Then listen carefully! Your body may be considered strong in your country…”

“No, not strong, Manager Greenwood…”

“Don’t interrupt me! Well, since you’re not considered strong in your country, then you’re not strong here. You can’t always think about using your body to defend. I don’t know which idiot told you that the defense depends on the body. In fact, the body is only an innate gift, but people can’t always rely on innate gifts to live. You need to learn how to observe and analyze every move of the attacking players and then figure out what they will do next to prepare yourself in advance. It’s prejudgment. Do you understand prejudgment?”

“I think… I understand, Manager Greenwood.”

Greenwood pointed to his head and said, “If you think football is a physical sport, you’re wrong, Chen. Football is actually a sport full of wisdom. Idiots and fools don’t have a future here. Your body isn’t strong, but there’s no rule that only strong people are qualified to be defenders and defensive midfielders. You have to learn to defend with your brain and intelligence, find the attacking players’ next moves and weaknesses, and then make targeted countermeasures. Your speed and agility of an East Asian are your characteristics. You have to work on them…”

Chen Jian nodded vigorously and said, “I see. Manager Greenwood, thank you for the instructions.”

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“Chen! I ask you to use your brain to play. I did not ask you not to run at all! What are you doing there, standing like a fool? What are you defending? A human vegetable can easily bypass a wood block like you!”

“Shovel the ball! Be decisive … Look, you put him in the penalty area. What are you going to do next? Give the opponent a penalty shot? Foul? What are you afraid of? What will you choose when it comes to a free kick as compared to a penalty shot?”

“Plug ahead and plug ahead! Don’t just stand in place after you pass the ball. Run forward diagonally…How is your teammate going to pass to you if you don’t run? His other passing routes are blocked. Only if you plug ahead from behind, can you create a passing route for him. Don’t just think that passing is only something a playmaker has to consider. It requires people next to him and the whole team moving together to create a passing route! Standing to play football is absolutely not allowed here!”

“Chen, do you know what your biggest problem is? It’s not that your body is thinner and weaker than an Englishman and not because you don’t have a solid foundation. Those things can be improved through constant exercise and practice. Your biggest problem is here. The brain, wisdom, consciousness. It’s football awareness! Playing on the pitch is completely different from watching in the stands. Don’t think that just because you’ve watched a lot of football games means you have a lot of outstanding football awareness. If you don’t come down and play in person, you never know what’s going on! You have to learn to observe and analyze the situation on the field… Isn’t your English fast improving? Why can’t you use the same intelligence to develop your football awareness?”

…

Chen Jian could still think of a lot of such examples of remarks now. He discovered that the praise at the time turned out to be the only time the youth manager, Greenwood had acknowledged his efforts in seven months. He had just picking at his faults all the other times. Greenwood could certainly find more faults just when he thought he had done a good job in one area.

Chen Jian often felt that he was not really suitable for playing football …he simply made too many mistakes. Even with the most basic running, Manager Greenwood would think that there was a problem with his running posture, which affected his speed and explosive force… But he had run like that since he was a kid. He had been running for eighteen years and no one had ever said to him, “Hey, man. There’s a big problem with your running posture.”

He admitted he thought about a variety of things before he came here, including how the professional training in England should look like. But he never thought it would be so harsh and unbearable. One tiny misstep, the sharp whistle and Greenwood’s loud voice immediately rang out in his ears.

He could not refute and explaine. A mistake was a mistake and he could only say “yes, Manager Greenwood. I won’t make a mistake the next time!” The reason was simple as he was from China, a country with a backward level of football. Anyone from the English youth team was better than him and knew more than he did. In the sport like “football”, he had no say as a Chinese.

During the seven months in the youth team, in addition to the unimaginable intense training, he was also subjected to mental challenges—any effort would almost certainly be relentlessly rejected. He absolutely could not expect an appreciative glance from the manager after he beautifully stopped a long pass or receive the appreciation and applause of his teammates after he successfully intercepted an opponent’s dribble… Those scenes that appeared in the football fantasy novels never happened to Chen Jian. Why? Because the coaches and teammates would think that what he did was common. Did a footballer have to be complacent about praise and rewards when he did his job?

Chen Jian would never tell his parents or the fans and classmates in China who cared about him, the things he encountered on the training ground. He also would not tell his landlord, John and his family. No matter what kind of treatment and difficulties he encountered, there was one thing that remained unchanged for him and that was to always keep smiling, even if he found it hard to smile. He did not want to look miserable in the face of difficulties, giving the impression that he could not handle it.

As he always smiled, he was on fairly good terms with his teammates and there was no such thing as crowding him out. Perhaps the teammates were aware that this kid was just a product of a talent show and could not possibly fight with them for a spot here. He was basically not a rival.

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Sometimes Chen Jian would call his two companions at Bolton Wanderers and Everton to ask about their situation. Whether it was Wang Yang at Bolton Wanderers or Song Hui at Everton, they seemed to be in a much better position than he was. Everyone had the same training content and did not receive any special treatment but was not abused either. After they met the standard required and completed a training session, they would be warmly praised by the coaches. Their training intensity and training environment simply could not be compared with Chen Jian’s “hell.”

They were all very surprised when they heard about what happened to Chen Jian. Wang Yang even asked him directly if he had offended the youth team’s manager, or if the manager hated Chinese people.

Chen Jian firmly stated that it was impossible.

Wang Yang curled his lips and said maybe he did not realize he had offended the other man with some small details.

Chen Jian thought for a while this time and still shook his head to say it was impossible.

Song Hui was very concerned about Chen Jian’s training situation. After hearing Chen Jian’s account, he stayed quiet for a long while before he faintly said just when Chen Jian thought the phone cut off, “Ah, completely two different worlds….”

Although their training was easier than Chen Jian’s and the people around them were relatively kinder, Wang Yang and Song Hui had basically given up on their “dream” of staying in the United Kingdom after a year. They called their “dream” a “daydream” after they experienced the level of English football. They knew their own levels and were also aware that be it Bolton Wanderers or Everton, they had no interest in either of them. Frankly speaking, the previous talent show only came about because they represented the Chinese market.

After figuring it out, they felt a little disheartened and foolish, knowing in advance that they had been eliminated while they tried their best.

“I have learnt much during the year. Even if I can’t stay in the UK in the end… Ah, I definitely can’t. I don’t regret this year too.” With six months to go before the one-year deadline, Wang Yang had begun to characterize his one year of experience. “No matter what happens, I’m here anyway. I’m much luckier with those who were already eliminated and did not even qualify to be here. I don’t think I can ask for anything more.”

“The gap is really too wide. Before I came here, I had the fantasy in my mind that I might even be the main character in those football fantasy novels on the Internet? I only realized what I’m made of when I came here. I’m worse than other people… by a billion light-years. The level of Chinese football is really backward in every area. It’s not just the system, the players and the coaches who are behind…” Song Hui shook his head and sighed, somewhat frustrated. “Sigh, the only benefit is that the improvement in my English level… Even if I study in England later, I won’t have to go to a language school first.”

The manner of these two men was completely different from the complacency they showed before they came here. The reality was cruel, so they woke up from their dreams.

Only Chen Jian was still persistent in his dream. He was not arrogant, nor was he fanciful. He just felt that even if it was a game that he knew he was going to lose; he would persist to the final whistle. Giving up early was not his style and had never been since he participated in the audition of and was eliminated the first time.

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Chen Jian returned to the locker room after he completed Greenwood’s special training program for him again. The players in the youth team were still changing their clothes and everyone looked very excited. It made him a little curious.

A black man on the team gesticulated to explain to him, “Manager Greenwood said the First Team manager, boss and chief will come to the youth team tomorrow to watch the training match!”

Chen Jian knew what it meant for these people. If they performed well, they might even be transferred to the reserve team and be qualified to play for the official competition. If they did well in the reserves, they could even move up to the First Team and play in the league tournament. They could perhaps obtain a spot to participate in the Champions League after the winter transfer window, then shine and make a name for themselves—all the young people would have that dream, wouldn’t they? They thought that they would become the most special, prominent, unique and the best player.

It was a moment that all young players who had practiced hard for years, yearned for day and night. It was a chance to decide their own destiny.

But what did this have to do with him? Chen Jian used English to wish the enthusiastic black kid good luck, and then went to the shower room to wash off his sweat.

There were still five months away from his dream and he still could not see the road ahead up until not. He did not know whether his dream was really waiting for him up ahead. But he had to keep running. Even if he stumbled and did not have the strength, he had to keep going.

Because he really did not know what else he could do except to run forward.