A young man, Johnson, ran through a swamp whilst holding a bright-red flower against his chest. Seventeen years ago, Johnson had been hit by a truck, and when he woke up, he found himself trapped in an infant’s body. With the help of his memories from his previous life—that he had kept for some strange reason—he was treated as a genius. Luckily, his spiritual root was also one of transcendent quality, and his foray into the martial way went smoothly. However, even if he were a genius with a transcendent body, it wasn’t enough to explain his fast progress. He wasn’t even of the legal drinking age, yet he had become a battle god, someone capable of fighting a small nation by himself. However, unknown to the natives of this world, there was a reason for Johnson’s meteoric rise to the top: He had a system!

[Please find a safe location to perform the quest-completion ritual.]

Johnson ignored the translucent text floating within his vision. The system was helpful, but at the same time, it always popped up at inappropriate moments. For example, right now, he was being chased by his sect for stealing one of their godly treasures.

“Catch the traitor!”

Johnson took in a deep breath, and his heartrate slowed at a rapid pace. As someone with two lifetimes of experience, there was no way Johnson was a fool. He had already prepared everything before he began his operation. The system, which had introduced itself as the Ultimate God of Fire Ascension System, seemed to have known Johnson was a bank robber in his previous life and was always giving him quests to steal items. In fact, the very first quest he received was to steal his wet nurse’s undergarments. It was an embarrassing quest, but it had awarded him with part of a cultivation technique that had begun his journey to battle god.

Anyway, as a bank robber who had never been caught before, stealing was a piece of cake to Johnson. A small hole opened up in the swamp, and Johnson fell inside of it. The hole closed up as quickly as it opened, and Johnson’s heartrate came to a halt. Moments later, wet footsteps rang out over Johnson’s head, sounding much like a cavalry charge, but he didn’t react. It was as if he had died, becoming a cold corpse within the swamp. After he could no longer hear any footsteps, Johnson’s body twitched, and a small cavern was created around his body. The wet slime and mud on his body was pushed away as well. He sat down and exhaled, taking a closer look at the stolen flower within his hands. It was beautiful: runic patterns seemed to dance in and out of existence on the flower’s petals, and the stem of the flower was made of gold.

Johnson exhaled and took out a piece of white chalk. He drew a circle on the ground and placed the flower inside. With this, his quest would be complete, and he’d finally obtain the last portion of his cultivation technique. Battle god wasn’t the peak of martial arts; in fact, it was only the beginning! Johnson licked his lips, almost unable to contain the excitement within his heart. “Complete the quest.”

[The system creator has gone bankrupt and lost ownership of the Ultimate God of Fire Ascension System. As such, most functions will be paused until the new owner of the system activates them. Please hold.]

Johnson stared at the text floating within his vision. His face paled. He had betrayed his sect to complete a quest, yet he couldn’t hand in the quest because of such a weird reason. Unless the system was restored, his life in the foreseeable future was going to be miserable. Hopefully, it wouldn’t take that long for the system to turn back on.

***

Karta poked the naked man sitting in front of a mound of freshly packed dirt. “So, uh, are you going to take a look at the things you got?”

Vremya turned his head. “Not interested.” His brow furrowed. “Anyway, why are you still here?”

“I lived here for the past seven thousand years,” Karta said and rolled her eyes. “This place is practically a home to me. Are you really going to kick out an adorable dog like me?”

Vremya wasn’t sure which part of Karta was adorable. A creature covered all over in fur without showing a single bit of skin, tsk, perhaps different tastes had developed over time. Well, whether or not Karta stayed didn’t matter to him. “If you want to stay, you have to wear this.”

“A collar…? Really?” Karta stared at the white object Vremya offered her. “I thought you didn’t know what a dog was.”

“I’m not sure what a collar is,” Vremya said as he placed the white rope around Karta’s neck. “This is an anti-odor tool. I created it because foul gases kept rising out of a swamp.”

Karta stopped sniffing at the collar, her eyes widening. Her lips retracted, showing her teeth. “You’re calling me stinky!?”

“Yes.”

Karta’s face froze, and her lips awkwardly dropped back into place. It wasn’t like she could bite the old man, not with the anti-violence laws around. However, she wasn’t one to take an insult to her face without doing anything about it! She squatted in place and concentrated on her bottom end.

“What are you—? Stop! You weird four-legged stink producer, stop that right this instant!”

Despite Vremya’s objection, Karta didn’t stop, and there wasn’t anything the old man could do about it. The Labrador Retriever finished doing her business and sauntered away, unconcerned.

Vremya pinched his nose and pointed a finger at Karta. “Get out! You’re not allowed to stay here any longer!”

“Too bad,” Karta said as she glanced back at Vremya through the corner of her eyes. A piece of paper appeared by her face. “According to the law, I’m not allowed to be evicted until my grace period of three hundred years is up. For the next three centuries, I’ll be living and doing my business right here.”