After giving the head of the Ozer bear to the guild as a proof of completing the quest, Alastor and Caroline sat down on the chair in front of each other. They unpacked the wrapper. The lunchbox contains delicacies that are very well familiar to them. Rice that has been marinated in soy sauce, broiled eggs and some fried meat.

“Well, I can’t say I’m disappointed.” Alastor said and took a bite.

“It’s quite good.” Caroline stated with a delightful expression.

There was already a given cup in the guild that they’d use and shared the booze that they have got from the elder lady from the village. The liquor has the mixed fragrant of honey, apple and a small content of regular booze.

Alastor enjoyed the bittersweet liquid that melted in his tongue. Caroline however, was not able to endure it and nearly spit it out but she gulped it quickly. She coughed a little, her cheeks are burning in red.

“You don’t like it?” Alastor asked.

“No, no. I’m… I’m not used to it. I haven’t been able to drink for couple of years.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

Alastor guzzled the remainder and decided for another more round. Caroline asked for more and served herself. Her face squirmed in bitterness.

“Don’t push yourself, Caroline.” Alastor said. “Mr. Funny Man would be pissed if you’re drunk when we get back.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask this.”

Alastor winced. “What is it?”

“What’s your takeaway with her?”

“Who? The old lady in the hut?”

Caroline nodded.

“I don’t buy her story.”

“Don’t buy about what?”

“Everything she said about her husband.”

“Really? How come?”

“Well, for starters, I don’t believe that he’s a good husband.”

“What makes you think? Is it about the scars?”

“Yes.”

“But she said that it was an accident.”

“Care, long and deep scars like that doesn’t come from any kind of minor accident. It had done with such force.”

“Ok,” she shrugged. “Let’s pretend that you’re right. What do you think that should’ve done if you were in her position?”

“Leave, of course. People that are capable of hurting you even if you show some affection is not worth of spending a lifetime.”

“Maybe – no, it maybe because she’s truly in love with him.”

“That’s absurd.”

“Listen, Al. When you love a person no matter how ugly their past is, you would’ve come to still reached out for them.”

Alastor hastily shakes his head. “No. That doesn’t make any sense at all. It’s like selling your soul to a demon with no price.”

“I know, I know it doesn’t sound anything right at all, at first, but when you’ve come to know how damaged their past is, you would’ve come to appreciate it, ‘probably gained your sympathy, and because of that you’d do anything within your powers lift them back to the light.” Caroline enthusiastically said.

“I don’t quite get it.”

“That’s what love is about, well for me.”

“If that’s the very definition of love, then I daresay love is an idiot, a fly in a back of a dragon, a naïve warrior with no shield, a judge with no power, and a suicide. It’s like trusting someone to catch you with your back behind the cliff and the other is on the opposite. It makes you vulnerable to death.”

“Or maybe love is courage, accepting, and understanding.” Caroline responded. “You know I’ve always thought my mother was a fool to marry my father. You see, my father is just like the old lady’s husband, he’s busy running around, ordering to implement this and that, never had the time with his wife and too much little time for his daughters, but when my mum was sick, my father was fast as a Comodo and had cancelled all of his meetings. I heard some of their conversation, just to summarize, it’s odd that it came from my mother, she’s scolding my father for cancelling his meeting for some building program. My father is like ‘Oh, darling. I’m sure that they will give me a chance to present my proposition. For now, I must stay by your side until your sick is gone.’ And my mum would retort ‘Don’t let me drag you in this meddlesome sick of mine. You’ve been planning this for months.’ And my father would shut her up by kissing her, which is quite an idiotic by the way, since my mother is sick. Then after that, I have come to understand that love goes hand by hand, accepting and understand each other no matter what cost they’d see for themselves.”

Caroline drank in one swoop of her mouth then poor another one.

“Am I boring you, Al?” Caroline asked.

Alastor has been silent for a while now. He shrugged his head.

“Not quite.” Alastor replied. “Why did you leave your kingdom? I know that you didn’t leave just to visit that place and reminisce the time with your mum.”

Caroline puckered her lips and consumed a small amount of liquor.

“Because, I wanted to be free.”

“From what?”

“From being a royalty.”

“It’s quite difficult for me to understand, but your kingdom is the fruit of love out of your parents’ labors.” Alastor exclaimed. “Do you find it hopeless?”

“The fruit of their love is not hopeless. It’s the throne is. The throne took away my family and pressured us. You see, because of the throne, my mother died and my father was assassinated just because they’re gaining power ahead unlike any other kingdom.”

“If that’s the case, why come back?”

“Because I don’t want to burden my sister. But truly is, I desire to be free, from all of it. ‘Free so I can showcase my paintings, travel to wherever my feet lead me and when I found some landscapes that is gorgeous to see I would’ve captured it with the lense of my camera.”

She looked down and wipes off the wet in her eyes.

“What about you, Al? What do you desire?”

“My desire, huh. Well, I don’t have any desires.”

“Not one? What about love?”

“I’m not interested in love.”

“How come? Didn’t you hear what I just said earlier? If not love, how about status, power, or wealth?”

Alastor shakes head.

“Nothing. Come on, there’s gotta be something you desire of. What about freedom?”

“Freedom is relative to what you are.”

Caroline raised a questioning brow. “What exactly are you saying?”

“Freedom is luxury that human cannot attain easily.”

“Are you saying it doesn’t exist?”

Alastor lightly nodded.

“To some people.”

“Please, do explain. I’m interested.”

“Why do you think wealthy people, including yourself were not able to truly gain your freedom?”

“Well, for me, it’s because of my heritage.”

“Hmm. What about the wealthy ones?”

Caroline shakes her head. Even if she were able to get out in the castle, there are some places in this world and some perspectives she hasn’t been able to know yet.

“It’s because of their desire for money.”

Caroline offered a half smile. “I see where’s this going. So, you’re trying to say that desire itself is a hindrance to our freedom.”

“Let me finish.”

Alastor drank another round of booze. He writhed and licked his lips. “The desire of money by the wealthy men and women is just an example of why we can’t achieve freedom. Surely, I agree that some desires have come with favorable delight to our life, but it doesn’t mean we are truly free, because there are people out there who is still desires for something more and won’t stop nothing just to get it, hence, freedom and freewill is impossible to fully attain.”

“So, not only freedom is non-existent but also free will?”

“Well, I never said that ‘kinds of freedom’ are non-existent but only limited, but yes in regards of freewill.” Alastor nodded.

“Then what do you think about that old woman? Is she not free?

“No.”

“Even if she’s still away from the ill of this society?”

“Darling, she’s poor and their village. Every day, they have to work even if they don’t want to because they’re tired. They’re slave in that situation. Yes, they have the freedom of choice, but they don’t have the will to find a new settlement because they don’t have the will to do what they think is right.”

Caroline remained silent while drinking.

“Too much desires will be the downfall of those who are not content.”

“So, in order to be free, you have to let go of your desires?”

“Precisely, yes, but because of our situation we are not capable of attaining it.”

“And why is that?” Caroline asked.

“It’s because of the society and those people who keep wanting more. You see, society were built out of despair because we badly needed a sense of protection, but also because of that, a new opening has been made to those are on top that wants more. They waged war and deaths comes to follow, expanding whenever they find the opportunity, the same goes to the minority too, they exploit people’s lives as if it’s meaningless to them. There was peace, but it’s nothing but a fragile stability that’s going to break. So, you see, even people have desire to gain freedom, they are still inclined to be trapped in dilemma of this ill society, but to those who are not, they have more choices, unlike those are shackled in chains of the society.”

Alastor paused observing the liquor inside the glass.

“You know what’s ironic is?” Alastor started.

“What?”

“Humans created society to suffice their needs of protection, security and sense of companionship, but as ages goes by, the society itself became their prisoner and stole away their freedom.”

“Is that the reason why you don’t want to love? Because it’s a desire that can backstab you?”

“Desire is a poison that might kill you. It is designed to dehumanize the people, because whenever we achieve something, we have to sacrifice a part of ourselves.”

“Then what about the money?”

“I don’t treat it as much of a desire. More like a basic need of my living.”

“Then what about you? Are you free right now?”

Alastor paused and smirked. “That’s an obvious question.”

“So, that’s it? Desires are hindrance to absolute freedom and free will? What about our destiny? Where does it go?”

“The only one who has freedom and freewill are the one who ruled above us, and as long we desire, we are bound on trampling other people, whether it is good intention or not. Well, I don’t know about the destiny but one thing for sure, it is already written. We are tied to our destiny and there is no way we can liberate ourselves from it.”

“How about you? If you desire nothing what makes your life worth living and don’t tell me it’s about the money or the rewards of being a glade mercenary.”

“Hmm. I’m the one who has the freedom to choose.”

“If you say that you have the freedom to choose, why stay with the glade? After all, you’re the one who said that those who are tied with society are going to suffer.”

There was a paused. Caroline’s question seems right on the bat.

“It was not that simple.” Alastor promptly replied.

“Why is that?”

“The only reason that I’m staying is that the glade is my home. I was fed and learned everything in there.”

Caroline stared at his dark sullen eyes.

“You’re lying.” Caroline said.

“What?”

“You don’t know where to go, aren’t you?”

“Because there is nothing to go to.”

Caroline swigged 2 more set of liquor and set down the glass. She crossed her arm and looked him in the eye as if she was testing him.

“You may claim that desires are nothing but designed to destroy us, but it’s not always a gloom in the sky, desires can be a good thing too, in some mysterious way that the universe is threading on. Desires motivates us to achieve the best version of ourselves and helps us to have a better life.”

“No matter the process is?”

“Yes. It is not your fault for doing your best, as long as you’re doing it right…” Caroline paused and shrugged. “Sorry if I am so strange to you.”

“No need. It’s not like that I’m affected or disturbed at all. You know, I was never the man who’s tempted by anything nor the kind who wants to achieve something. In fact, it is not my will to live at all.”

“Then how come you still continue to persevere?”

“Because fate allows me to and I will continue to live as much as I want, never minding the people around and only for myself.”

“You know what I see on you, Al?”

Alastor raised the glass and poured himself another round and consume it, savoring the bittersweet taste and the aroma of the liquor.

Caroline continued, “You’re a man that doesn’t know a thing about yourself and that is why you can’t choose what suits better to you. Listen to me, Al, it is unhealthy to lie about yourself, it is never good. You’re the first person I have ever knew that has never been healthy for the entire life. You may continue with your charade, but one day, you’ll see… you’ll regret missing out the pretty parts of this world. You have so much freedom yet you halfheartedly allow the devils control your fate. By the way you live, you’ll preserved more than ever than those people that you slain and more targets that is yet to come.”

“Care, you barely knew half of my life.”

“I know, but I can tell what you are.”

Caroline lifted her head from observing and playing the swirling rum and met his eyes with a sullen face and doleful bronze eyes.

“You are the very definition of someone who is living, yet unmoving.”

He stumbled on her very last words. He can only express his astonishment in his eyes. He’s astounded and puzzled at this time. No one has ever challenged him straight on in his entire life until he met her. Words began to form in his mouth but it became mute when there’s a loud rang of music erupted in the guild house. Alastor shrugged, never minding her words as Caroline watch the people merry playing with their musical instruments.