THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THEMES WHICH MAY BE UPSETTING FOR SOME READERS

In the evening, Tang Wei Sheng and Li Juan decided to take a stroll in the neighbourhood. While walking hand in hand with Li Juan, Tang Wei Sheng felt like he was blessed with pure bliss. Though they were on a business trip since both of them became a couple, it felt like a holiday trip. On the other hand, Li Juan appeared silent and lost in thoughts.

"Juan," Tang Wei Sheng called her by first name.

"I have always wondered why you appear silent in front of me and suddenly you change into a talkative person with others. Are you still not comfortable in front of me?" Tang Wei Sheng asked Li Juan.

"I never imagined that you would like me. There were a lot of girls chasing after you and I always thought that I was no one special, just a random a girl. Maybe a little more- your sister's friend?" Li Juan looked into Tang Wei Sheng's eyes and explained.

"In the beginning, I was hesitant; I was afraid that if I became close to you, I might not be able to control myself from confessing.

I was afraid to confess. I didn't want to ruin whatever little relationship we had. So I always remained silent and loved you secretly." Li Juan finished with a smile.

"And you know what, I liked you for that. All others tried to impress me with words and you made me fall in love with your silence." Tang Wei Sheng held her hand and pressed gently.

"I only wanted you to know that I like you and I did not expect you to accept my feelings. I never dared to think that we are made for each other." Li Juan admitted her reasons with downcasted eyes.

"What made you think like that?" Tang Wei Sheng asked her. He was intrigued by her words.

"I am nothing in front of you and your family." Li Juan said in a gloomy voice.

"You are the heir of one of the biggest corporations in the mainland. And I am nobody. I had my parents as an example."

"I thought, just like my mom, everyone will also treat me as a gold digger. So I kept the truth buried inside me until one-day lanlan told me to marry her brother." Li Juan grinned. "She was so serious about marriage."

"Did she tell you that?" Tang Wei Sheng chuckled. "I thought she only asked me about marrying you."

"Yeah. She still does that." Li Juan said with a smile.

"Lanlan likes you a lot." Tang Wei Sheng grinned, "I didn't even expect that you guys will last this long."

"If there was not lanlan, I don't think that I'll ever be this happy." Li Juan added to his words. In her life, Li Juan only had a few people who actually cared for her happiness and well being and Tang Wei Lan was one of them.

"Let's sit for a while." Tang Wei Sheng suggested. Both of them were walking for an hour.

They sat under the tree's shadow, resting their back on the tree's bark. The sun was about to set and the sky was turning into a beautiful shade of orange. Tang Wei Sheng intertwined his fingers with Li Juan's fingers.

"It feels like a dream Wei Sheng Ge." Li Juan inadvertently changed the way she addressed Tang Wei Sheng.

"We are all alone in this place and enjoying a beautiful evening. I have always imagined that my first date would be something like this."

Li Juan rested her head on Tang Wei Sheng's shoulders.

"So you are telling me that we are on a date?" Tang Wei Sheng asked her.

"Not completely. But yes, if we consider the situation." Li Juan told him.

"Going for a walk and watching the sunset together, is that your concept about the date?" Tang Wei Sheng was baffled by Li Juan's simplicity.

"I don't have any concepts." Li Juan told casually.

"You liar! Just a moment before you told me that, it feels like you are on a date. Didn't you?" Tang Wei Sheng asked playfully.

"Well, everybody has vague ideas about their love life and boyfriend in teenage. Is it necessary to follow them even if you are an adult?" Li Juan looked solemn.

"You are only 26 years old and why are you speaking like an old lady?" Tang Wei Sheng was worried because Li Juan never cared about her happiness.

"You are still in your youth. Why don't you enjoy it?"

"But still." Li Juan tried to find an excuse.

"Ohoho, this girl!" He frowned. "Juan, you are giving me headaches. Why are you still holding back? Did I open my heart in front of you?" Tang Wei Sheng asked Li Juan with earnest eyes.

"I liked you the moment I met you."

"I haven't seen anyone with such beautiful eyes. Those big black eyes, it captivated me. The worst ever thing I've done to you was leaving you all alone in the corridor on that stormy night without a word." Tang Wei Sheng said in a breath.

"It was excruciating for me to leave you there. When I saw you crying- I felt like my heart was breaking into a million pieces and without even realizing it, I ran towards you." Tang Wei Sheng passionately said to Li Juan.

"Everything started from that night." Tang Wei Sheng admitted. "I couldn't even sleep properly, those teary eyes were haunting me the whole night."

"That was the first time I've ever made someone cry."

"I felt sad, I felt guilty that I made you cry."

"for the entire night, I tossed and turned in my bed and finally, I've decided that whatever happens I will not make her cry anymore and I won't allow anyone to make her sad."

Li Juan gazed at Tang Wei Sheng admiringly while he was confessing his feelings.

"From the next day itself, I've started following you. Every time, I looked at you, I found you fascinating. And what else, I eventually fell in love with you." Tang Wei Sheng's eyes were shimmering with fondness.

"I was going to confess before going abroad. But everything was arranged on short notice and I didn't even get a chance to tell you.

I told LanLan to inform you about my flight time." Tang Wei words turned more and more despondent.

"I thought you would come and see me off, but you didn't."

"I thought you did not have any feelings for me and choose to stay behind. So I left abroad with a heavy heart.

When I came back for the first time, I tried to contact you.

All I got to know is that you moved to S city.

Nobody knew where you were or your exact address."

"Every time I came back for vacations, I searched everywhere in S city and failed to find you.

It was like you vanished into thin air."

"At one point, I told myself to stop looking for you and move on. I tried to believe that you never existed. Tang Wei Sheng looked at Li Juan with a sombre expression.

But I failed terribly."

"During the day time, I engaged myself with work, so that I do not get a moment to remember you. But once when the night falls, I was left alone with your memories. And somedays I found myself waking in some lonely beaches in S city with no memories of previous nights.

Those days, I felt like I was living with a mask. My heart was in pain but I had to put a smile on the outside."

"Where were you Juan when I was insanely searching for you?" Tang Wei Sheng asked Li Juan with forlorn eyes.

Li Juan was left speechless and tears were about to roll down from her eyes.

She didn't even have a single idea how much Tang Wei Sheng loved her.

She thought he forgot her when he went abroad and never tried to look for her.

She believed that she was the only one suffering.

But she was wrong.

Tang Wei Sheng proved her speculations wrong.

He loved her.

He was searching for her.

now, it is

"I came to see you off." Li Juan slowly opened up the bottled emotions.

"But unfortunately, I had an accident on the way to the airport."

"What?" Tang Wei Sheng was stunned. He never knew about her accident. Li Juan almost died and how couldn't be aware of her accident.

"I was bedridden for two months and when I came back to school, things weren't so smooth. You know how they have treated me- It was quite difficult for me to stay there."

Li Juan looked at his eyes for a moment. Does he know about the things that happened in the school after he went abroad?

The past she doesn't want to remember, should I tell him about it?

Li Juan was confused for a moment.

No, maybe some other time,

"My mom went to S city for a better job and we shifted there.

Sometimes I wanted to see you for one last time, even from far away but was unable to do so." Li Juan continued.

"My conditions were not that good- I lived in the hospital for half of the time and rest of the time, I worked part-time for covering the medical bills."

"I thought you would've got a scholarship and migrated to some other countries." Tang Wei Sheng told her.

"I did apply for the scholarship but," Li Juan stopped for a moment.

"You didn't get selected?" Tang Wei Sheng was puzzled. "You were the topper of the school. How come you didn't get selected?"

"I fell from the school building."

"What?" Tang Wei Sheng was shocked.

"It was quite bad; I could have lost my life but fortunately, I ended up losing my memories." Li Juan said with an emotionless face.

"About six months I was under observation. I even forgot my mother.

When my memory came back, I forgot about the days I have spent in the hospital.

To be honest, due to my head injury, I constantly live with the fear of memory loss."

"Two years ago, when my mom passed away, I felt like killing myself.

She worked hard without caring about her health so that I could live.

Mom never told me about her medical condition until the day I found her unconscious in the house.

The doctor said that she will be alright if we remove the tumour. But on the surgery table," Li Juan stopped for a moment and tried to suppress her tears.

"I believed that I was the reason for the adversities that happened in my mom's life.

I hated myself for making her life difficult.

I felt guilty for being alive,

I was alone and I was scared, what if one day I forgot about myself?

Who will be there for me?

In the end, I thought about ending my life."

Tang Wei Sheng was completely shocked and left speechless. In these seven years, Li Juan endured so many things.

Li Juan removed the leather bracelet in her wrist, there was a scar.

It looked like she tried to cut her veins.

"Professor Han was the one who saved me." Li Juan continued.

"While lying down in the hospital bed in the brink life and death, I saw that dream again, the one where Jade land queen asked me to save her family.

it was contradictory to see myself trying to save someone who is dying, when I was the one who is supposed to be saved.

After that, I never thought of death." Li Juan calmly said.

"But that head injury left some serious neurological problems. I am having delusions and I am unable to handle a single trauma, Do you remember that day at the restaurant, I cried over a silly comment?" Li Juan faintly smiled.

"I can't control it myself so, I am still relying on medicines."

Tang Wei Sheng was in utter disbelief. Li Juan was in an accident, she had memory loss and she even tried to take her life and he didn't hear a single word it.

Li Juan looked at Tang Wei Sheng's startled face.

"I wanted to tell you all these before we get closer anymore."

"Hmm," Tang Wei Sheng didn't say anything.

His silence made Li Juan worry.

"Wei Sheng Ge," Li Juan called his name.

"What happened to the driver who made the accident?" after few moments, Tang Wei Sheng asked Li Juan.

"He died at the spot."

"He is dead?" Tang Wei Sheng looked puzzled.

"What about the accident at school?"

"I don't know actually. It was raining that day and I think slipped." Li Juan tried to remember the events that happened on that day

Tang Wei Sheng hugged her softly. "It is alright, sweetheart."

"Juan, I am sorry. I didn't know anything about it. All these years I have never imagined that you are going through such hardships. I am sorry."

"I promise that I will never leave you alone." Tang Wei Sheng hugged her with all his might and kissed her forehead.

Tang Wei Sheng looked at Li Juan- He couldn't believe what happened in her life.

How come he or his staff didn't know about it? Did someone try to hide it from him? His mind was in confusion.

Who would've done that terrible thing?