《Dysfunctional – An Assassin’s Guide To Reincarnating In Another World》Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide To Reincarnating In Another World
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"Cats are better."
"Sure, they're cute and all, but come on, dude, dogs are way better!"
...how did I get dragged into this argument anyway?
It started when Rai and Key came over, along with a puppy...yeah, they got themselves a pet. It was a small black, brown and white puppy with floppy ears...I think it's called a beagle? I don't exactly dislike dogs, but I don't like them either. It's probably how most people feel about trees, no real opinion on them in terms of like or dislike. Well, not counting environmentalists and vegans, I guess.
Anyway, their puppy was pretty lively, and it came over to me and licked my hand, so I patted it a couple of times...Rai was unable to process the fact that that's all I did, instead of going all gaga over it. He then went on a rant about how cute and amazing dogs are...and once he was done, I responded with 'yeah, but cats are better'.
And that's how this argument started.
"Dogs are messier than cats," I pointed out objectively.
"True, but they're way more loving!" He countered smugly.
"That's because they're just attention-whores."
"How dare you!" He exclaimed with a dramatic gasp.
"It's way more rewarding when cats show you the occasional display of affection than with dogs that are constantly in your face with slobber and drool," I continued, strengthening my argument.
"Slobber and drool are the same thing!" He protested indignantly.
Hm, I don't know enough about slobber or drool to dispute that...
"It doesn't change the bottom line...which is that drool slash slobber is disgusting. In comparison, cats don't drool."
"That's...not a valid argument!" He protested with a frown.
"Oh, yeah? Then how's this for a valid argument? Persia, cat. Selesa, dog. Boom, end of debate."
Nailed it.
"Hey, don't drag me into this dumb argument," Sighed Persia, rolling her eyes as she munched on a cookie.
"Damn, I don't have a counter for that...," Replied Rai with a frown, my argument too strong to refute.
"...really?" Remarked Key with a look of exasperation.
"In which case...let's put it to a vote!" Declared Rai, "So far, it's one-one...girls, it's up to you two!"
"I really don't care about this...but since you won't shut up until we answer, fine...I'll go with cat, for obvious reasons," Replied Persia, rolling her eyes.
"And I'll go with dog, I guess," Added Key with a disinterested shrug.
"Well, now what, genius? It's still a tie," I said to Rai with a raised eyebrow.
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"Hey, don't call me genius sarcastically! And FYI, I already thought of this...let's call Az for the tiebreaker!" He suggested with a grin, pulling out a few Call spells and looking through them till he found the one that was linked to one of Az's Call spells.
And, so...we called Az. After a few seconds, he picked up...
"Hello? What do you want, Rai?" He grumbled, sounding like he'd just waken up.
"This is really, like, super important, dude, we need your input! Which do you prefer, cats or dogs?"
"...fuck off."
With that, he hung up.
"Yeah, that's about what I expected," I remarked with a stifled laugh.
"Okay, we still need to resolve this, so...who should we call next?" Asked Rai with a frown.
I'm over this, time to resolve it...
"Let's just call it a draw for now," I replied with disinterest.
"Aw, man...that's so unsatisfactory," He sighed with a look of disappointment.
...I should really be spending my time more productively than this...
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Point-of-View: Belia Lasmodeus
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"Sure, I don't mind," Replied Shin with a smile.
Yes! He's really strong, I want to see if I can put a dent in his confidence by defeating him. And besides, I can't have them thinking that he's stronger than me, can I?
"Great! But first, I'll even out the ground, it's pretty torn up after all the previous fights," I remarked, before using Earth Magic to repair the ground and close it up.
"You can sure do a lot with magic in this world, huh," Chimed in Lily with a look of intrigue.
Well, in comparison to the world they were in before I summoned them, I suppose that's accurate. Anyway, after I finished evening out the ground, we stepped onto the area and I activated the barrier around us with a sense of rising anticipation.
"I'll tell you what, you can make the opening move, and more than that, you can use that attack you used to defeat Shiro...I won't budge an inch from this spot," I remarked with a smirk.
"Uh...if I do that, you'll lose immediately," He replied with a wry smile.
"You really think so?" I laughed in a carefree tone, before adding in a low, serious tone with a slight smile, "Do it...I'll prove you wrong."
He flinched slightly, but tried to pass it off with a confident laugh...
"Don't say I didn't warn you...," He said as he raised his blade, which began rapidly glowing brighter and brighter...he looks pretty vulnerable while charging up that attack, it may be powerful but it gives his opponent an opening...but I don't need to use that opening to defeat him...oh, looks like he's ready to strike, "Alright, here it comes...Final Execution!"
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It doesn't matter how powerful an attack is, because so long as I can see it coming...it can't touch me. I activated my Dimensional Magic defense as his attack blazed towards me, the part of it that would have struck me getting absorbed into my dimension, as thick clouds of dust rose up around me and rubble began erupting out as the ground got devastated. Impressive destructive power, but...
"What, was that it?" I inquired, as the dust began to clear.
The ground in front of me was split open, and the area behind me was torn up as well, and the barrier wall behind me was severely damaged...but I didn't have so much as a scratch on me.
"H-huh? No way, no one can take that head-on and remain unscathed," He remarked with a look of shock, as sweat poured down his face.
These summons have incredibly powerful attacks, but the problem is, that if their opponent survives, they'll be in trouble because they'd have used up a significant amount of stamina. And he just fired that attack for the second time after just a few minutes, he's probably pretty drained right now.
Hm, this might be a good time to try out a suggestion that Shiro gave me regarding my Dimensional Magic...
"Well, I don't know about that, I'm pretty unscathed. It's not that hard to avoid...here, you can try it for yourself," I replied with a smirk, opening a portal...and firing out the portion of his attack that I absorbed right back at him.
But instead of trying to dodge, he slightly adjusted his stance and held his sword out in front of himself...and as the attack reached him, it struck his sword...and got reabsorbed into it. Looks like I messed up a little...considering what I've seen of the weapons used by the other summons, I should have figured that'd happen...
He then gritted his teeth and shot towards me rapidly, leaping forward with his sword raised as he closed in. I didn't move, instead opening a portal in front of me and connecting to another one that I opened behind me. He went through the portal in front of me and emerged behind me, his blade striking the ground as he swung it down, a look of surprise appearing on his face...I used Observation Magic to watch his face just then, I just couldn't let myself miss that expression!
I then spun around and drove my fist towards him, he began to turn and get his forearm in the way defensively, but he was too slow, as my fist struck his left side and sent him flying away to his right at a rapid speed, his shoulder slamming onto the barrier wall with a loud crash, severe cracks spreading out from the point of impact.
I instantly closed the gap using Teleport and formed and powerful lightning bolt in my hand, before driving it down towards him. He responded by flicking his blade straight up towards my hand with a grimace...I formed a portal below my hand before the blade could strike it, and had it emerge from a small portal I opened behind his right heel, eliciting a surprised cry of pain from him as he slashed his own heel, collapsing onto one knee.
My lightning attack then struck his chest-...what was that word again...ah, right, I remember...-electrocuting him, as he screamed while his body trembled violently, his grip on his sword weakening and dropping it.
As my attack faded, he swung a punch towards me, which I countered by using Dimensional Magic to make his fist strike the left side of his own face, dazing him. Time to end this. I then swiftly formed an ice blade and swung it across at his neck, the barrier teleporting him out before he could get decapitated.
There's no doubt that he's strong...but he isn't used to fighting people that are equally strong or stronger than he is, he's used to dominatinh fights and doesn't have the sharpness to stay on top of an opponent that's close to his power level, I'm willing to bet that Shiro would have beaten him if he knew what to expect.
At best, I'd probably give Shin fifty-fifty odds against Kuro, maybe sixty-forty in Kuro's favor...still, these six that I've summoned are definitely powerful, they're worth the Divine Magic I spent on them...I can't wait to see what kind of chaos they bring to the table...
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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism!
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