《Dysfunctional – An Assassin’s Guide To Reincarnating In Another World》Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide To Reincarnating In Another World
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Point-of-View: Shiro Blanc
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"A-are you truly an Archangel?" Inquired King Aguil Silvland nervously.
"Do you doubt me, o'holy King of Silvland?" She responded without so much as batting an eye.
Hey, not bad, that was nicely played.
"N-no, of course not, I-I meant no offense, my lady! If I may be so bold as to ask...why are you here?"
"God sent me, the Head Archangel Belia, along with two of my aides, who are both Angels themselves, because of the countless prayers of devout believers like you. Unfortunately, we were unable to descend sooner, due to many believers losing faith...the pain that caused our almighty lord was immense."
Wow, okay, her acting is on point, I'm genuinely impressed...
"I beseech your forgiveness, Lady Head Archangel! The blasphemers who tossed aside their faith will be found and executed!" He cried, bowing his head to her.
Jesus fucking Christ, how is this a real person?
"Ah, you truly do embody the will of our lord, you are worthy of ruling this holy nation. Very well, I shall trust you to follow through on that, the lord is willing to trust in your judgment," She responded in that unwavering, serene tone she'd been using.
"S-such a grand honor...I shall double, no, triple my efforts in my worship of our lord and savior!" He declared with a wide-eyed look.
"Indeed. Now, then, I am afraid that we must address the accumulation of sin in this land," She informed him.
"Th-the...accumulation of sin?"
This should be good...
"Allow me to elaborate...the reason that so many unfortunate incidents have occurred in Silvland...well, actually, there are multiple reasons. First, the dwindling faith in the lord, this caused the Vampires to target Silvland, as the weakening faith also weakened God's protection over this land. Next, the alliances with nations of heathens, not to mention some believers defecting to those nations, this caused the Vampires to return to Silvland, as God's protection was all but nullified. And most gravely, the fact that the former princess is now a blasphemer who defected to the evil heathen nation of the Rustlands...for one with holy royal blood to become a blasphemer is...unforgivable."
Holy crap, even I almost bought that for a moment...
"Yes, my treacherous sister...I will execute her in due time, my lady."
"But I am afraid you do not have much time...it must be resolved soon, otherwise, the accumulation of sin will force God to forsake the mortal realm...is that what you want?" She countered smoothly.
"N-no, of course not! What must we do to prevent that!?" He exclaimed in horror.
She's got him dancing on the palm of her hand, and with barely any effort at all, she didn't even have to explain what it would mean for 'God' to 'forsake' this world.
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"It is simple, really...a holy battle to cleanse the accumulation of sin must be carried out. We must attack the Rustlands, whose people are the descendants of those who, in the past, opposed God. That is why some of the laws in the Rustlands are the opposite to the laws here. Our primary objective will be the execution of the blasphemous former princess, along with the slaying of several of the citizens of the Rustlands."
She must be referring to the Rustlands' equality and anti-slavery laws. And man, for someone who claimed to dislike lying, she sure is good at bullshitting her way through lies...
"Yes...yes, I understand! But...all of our strongest Adventurers are now dead, we do not have the strength to fight such a battle...," He pointed out with a forlorn expression.
"Worry not...gather all those who are willing to fight for this sake, I shall grant them the power they need for victory."
"Oh, I see...amazing, I expect nothing less from the Head Archangel of God!"
What a fucking sheep.
"I shall return tomorrow at the same time, make sure to have gathered all those who wish to fight by then. Do not force anyone, only those who are already willing to fight for God are worthy. And do not worry about the Demons and Vampires, we shall eliminate them before we leave."
We will?
Though, when we arrived, it did look like the Demons left when they saw Belia. So it'll only be the Vampires...
"Yes, I understand!" He replied with an excited smile...this must feel like a miracle for him.
"Well, then, we shall be off now, my two aides will kill the monsters that are currently trespassing on our holy nation."
Again, we will?
"Wait, before you go, my lady, may I be permitted to ask a question?" He requested, his tone all humble and shit.
"Hm? Very well, go ahead."
"It is just that...you certainly resemble the descriptions of Angels in our scriptures, but the two Angels with you look almost human..."
Maybe he's not a total idiot...
"These are not our true forms, we have donned artificial mortal bodies so that we could enter this realm. You see, if we were to enter the mortal realm in our true forms, everything would be destroyed," She explained calmly.
Impressive, did she just make that up on the spot? Anyway, with that, we were done with winning Silvland over. Well, not that Hacte and I did anything, it was all Belia. She formed a gate using her Dimensional Magic for us to leave through, using a transformation spell to make it look all bright and sparky. She's really going all out with this production, isn't she...
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"Alright, you two," She addressed us, as we walked through the gate and exited somewhere outside, "Go hunt down the Vampires. Shiro, I've put an illusion transformation spell on you, so when you transform, your wings will look all white and feathery like mine. Same with you, Hacte, it'll look like you have a halo when you use your Demon powers."
"I don't like that you didn't tell us beforehand that we'd have to do this, but I suppose I don't mind taking down some Vampires, I might run into an Evil Number or Vampire Knight if I'm lucky," I relented hopefully.
"Sure, good luck! Well, happy hunting!" She replied with a grin.
...
...
About ten hours later, we were finally done. And all the Vampires were just weaklings, none worth absorbing.
"Way to go, boys! Let's get some rest till tomorrow, 'kay?" She greeted us as Hacte and I returned.
"Right...hey, wait a sec, something' s bothering me...why didn't you help? And wait, why didn't I say anything?" I remarked with a confused frown.
"O-oh, uh...I maybe, kinda, sorta used a small illusion spell to make you guys more agreeable. Sowwy!" She replied sheepishly in an apologetic tone, but ten to one she isn't sorry at all.
This bitch...!
"Then let me ask you this, o'mighty Demigod of Chaos...why...didn't...you...help out!?" I growled irritably.
"I would like to know the answer to that as well," Frowned Hacte.
"Shh, don't call me that here, what if someone heard you?" She whispered loudly, before adding, "As for why I didn't help, well...too boring, you know? It's a waste of my effort. Plus it's more mysterious if I keep my power hidden."
Are you fucking kidding me...
"Why you...!"
"Now, now, calm down. You can rest for as long as you want now, Shiro. But Hacte, I need you tomorrow afternoon, I'll be using Corruption Magic through you to power up a whole bunch of new pawns," She instructed with a slight smirk.
"That reminds me, I thought you didn't like to lie," I remarked with a raised eyebrow.
"Hm? Oh, you mean the whole 'Head Archangel' crap? I don't mind lying to disposable pawns."
Simple and straightforward, huh.
"So, what about Platinberg?" I inquired, as I stifled a yawn.
"Nah, I decided against that. All their royals and most of their nobles are dead, same goes for their Adventurers, and the survivors are basically the Vampires' cattle, so they're useless."
Fair point, I guess.
"Still, I have to say, you manipulated Silvland pretty well," I admitted with a sigh.
"True, but they didn't exactly make it too difficult, you know? That was disappointing," She replied despondently.
"Huh? Disappointing? Why? I mean, that went pretty much perfectly."
"Exactly! It went too smoothly and unchaotically...is that a word?"
"I don't care. And I should have figured...well, whatever, I'm going to go take that rest you mentioned, I'm tired as fuck after today."
This sucks for now, but soon enough, I'll get what I want, I'm going to do exactly what I want when it's time to launch the attack...
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Point-of-View: Fuo Wesroh
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"Fuo, something is wrong...," Atticus informed me, sounding concerned.
Hm? What do you mean?
"Well...I just noticed that...about thirty or so Vampire Minions were killed, and since I do not sense any Vampires in Silvland, it seems that the Vampires who were there were killed...it likely happened yesterday. But Silvland does not have the power to fight Vampires, so who killed them...?"
That's a good point...what could have happened? Wait, it might have been the Demons...they might have possessed people in Silvland and killed the Vampires.
"That seems unlikely...Demons and Vampires are fairly neutral against each other, so they are more likely to ignore each other than fight. Additionally, a Demon would have to possess a fairly strong human in order to stand a chance against a Vampire...Demons do not have the healing capabilities that Vampires do, after all."
I see...oh, didn't the team that dealt with the bandits in the forest say that when they interrogated the leader, a man with Demonic powers, he told them that he wasn't taken over by the Demon because that Belia person had the Demon possess him and then kept him from getting his mind taken over? What if she empowered Silvland the same way? After all, when the attack comes, she'll need numbers.
"Hm...that is plausible, but there is no way to prove it. For now, you should go report this to the Guild, let them decide what to make of it and whether to respond in any way."
A bunch of Vampires suddenly being killed was definitely strange...I had a bad feeling about this...
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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism!
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