《Dysfunctional – An Assassin’s Guide To Reincarnating In Another World》Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide To Reincarnating In Another World
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"Come on, pick up, you egotistical loli," I muttered, impatiently running my Mana through a Call Spell Card.
I was on my way to Elina's place and I was currently trying to call her, but she wasn't picking up. Well, whatever, she probably finished it and then passed out...or she couldn't figure it out and is still working on it, too engrossed to hear the buzzing of the Call spell. I reached the building she lived in and walked in, heading for her door.
I knocked on it and waited...no answer. Seriously? Az was here too, so at least one of them should be awake-...no, if she went to sleep, there's no way he'd voluntarily stay awake and work by himself. I reached for the door handle and turned it, just out of impatience, but to my surprise, it actually opened.
"Er...pardon the intrusion, is anyone home?" I called out, entering tentatively and muttering to myself, "Because I'm technically breaking and entering here..."
Wait, what am I talking about, I broke into houses almost on a daily basis during when Erhtaph gave me a bunch of investigation and assassination missions. It felt weird 'breaking into' the house of someone I know though. There was a pile of Spell Cards on the table, but no sign of either Elina or Az...
Oh, wait a sec, she'd moved her piano into a back room in this apartment, which was soundproofed, since apparently her neighbors had been complaining about the noise whenever I played the piano here. Normally, I'd totally understand that, but come on, who gets bothered by the sound of a piano?
Maybe if someone was playing it poorly, but I was pretty good at it, if I do say so myself...well, anyway, that was the only place they could be in that made sense, otherwise they would have definitely heard me by now.
"Hey, anyone in here? Sorry for letting myself in, but the door was...unlocked-...er...what th-the...," I began as I opened the door, before trailing off with a stutter as I took in the sight in the room...
Wh-what? I don't think I've ever been so caught off-guard before...this is...this is very, very unexpected, to put it mildly.
"Sh-shut the door, now!" Screamed Elina in panicked embarrassment, her face red, while Az averted his gaze with a horrified expression.
Don't need to tell me twice! I turned around and shut the door swiftly, my mind spinning...I wasn't prepared for that. No fucking way...emphasis on fucking. Elina had been atop the piano...Az had been atop her...and they were both very...very...very naked. Okay, let's calm down...I saw nothing. I saw absolutely nothing. Yeah-...
The door then swung open and the two of them stepped out, their faces red.
"What y-you saw...uh...," Stuttered Az, his gaze on the ground.
Woah, I've never seen him like this before.
"You don't have to explain anything, it's none of my business, a-and I don't really care either way! M-more importantly...uh...wait, what did I come here for...r-right, the spell!"
What followed was a horrifically awkward half an hour, but also a very productive one...Elina had done it, she and Az had puzzled over it for hours, but in the end, they finally managed to figure out how to create the spell exactly as I described it. After that, they made a heap of copies, fifty in total.
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Apparently, except for the intangibility feature as I specified, it wasn't a very complex spell to create. Not that I'd ever be able to replicate it. I'm guessing that after they finished their work, they were so overcome with relief that they ended up...you know...well, whatever, it's none of my business either way. Oh, she'd also made another spell I'd requested, something that could prove to be pretty important. It was another variation on an existing spell, and I only needed a copy for myself.
Anyway, I packed up the Spell Cards and headed back after she explained how the spell works and stuff. When activated, it would form a box-shaped barrier around the user and anyone else within fifty meters of him. The barrier's dimensions were fifty meters on every side, as in fifty square meters of space and fifty meters of height, and it was about ten times sturdier than the safety barrier used during duels.
Oh, and if it was activated in a space that was narrower than fifty meters, it would automatically adjust itself to fit the space. Okay, now I need to go to the castle and inform them about this, and also let them know which Adventurers I wanted to go with me to The Empire.
"So, uh...you're going home too, Az?" I inquired curiously.
He followed after me as I left, and had been trailing behind me silently.
"Y-yeah, well...you said you want me to go with you to attack Silvland...so, I thought I should get some rest or something...," He muttered unconvincingly.
I'd never seen him so...awkward before...
"Oh...well, it's just that you, uh, didn't seem to get to, you know, finish back there, and blueballs do suck-."
"D-drop it."
"Gotta say, man, that was really unexpected. So, you dating her, or is it a friends with benefits kinda thing, or maybe it's more of a ragefuc-?"
"Please drop it."
"Heh, out of context it totally looked like you were banging a kid, that's kinda messed up."
"Kuro, I said drop-."
"Which raises the question...are you into lolis or older women? Cuz, you know...she's both those things at the same ti-."
"Kuro...I am begging you...drop...it," He interrupted, stepping in front of me and grasping my shoulders with an irritated and flustered expression.
"Heh, sorry, sorry...it's just that I've never seen you get all stuttery and flustered like this, it's pretty funny," I replied apologetically with a sheepish grin, "Though I gotta say, you were REALLY going at it, I didn't even know that you were capable of exerting that much energy-."
"One more word and I will drown you."
"Oh, is that a challenge? So if I keep this up, you'll duel me?"
"...I think Rai would be less annoying right now..."
"Heh, not if he saw what I saw."
"H-hey, you better not tell anyone-!"
"Later, Az! Make sure to get a lot of rest, we'll be heading out around 4 PM, 'kay?"
"Kuro, wait...!"
Let's fast forward a few hours, shall we?
...
...
"I'm coming too!"
"No, you're not, it's too dangerous."
"Why do you always have to be so overprotective, huh? I can take care of myself, Kuro!"
It was currently about five minutes out from the time we were to depart to The Empire, and I was busy trying to convince Persia to stay here. But she was stubbornly insisting on tagging along.
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"Yeah, I know you can, but...I don't want you to get hurt," I admitted with a sigh.
"Tell me, if someone else was as strong as I was, would you take them with you for this battle?"
"...probably, yeah."
"I rest my case!"
"Wait, if you come with me, who's going to take care of Mika? Normally, she'd probably be able to take care of herself, but right now..."
"I've already taken care of that, she'll be staying with Rai and Key till we're back, I dropped her off there while you were at the meeting thingy."
Tch, well played. Damn it, she has no intention of relenting. And it's not like stopping her by force was an option. Fine, then...
"Okay, I give...you can come, but only if you promise, stick by me the whole time, 'kay?"
"Whaaat....you're still being overprotective, but...fiiine, I promise I'll stay close to you the whole time," She grumbled, her tail swaying aggressively.
I better not let her make a habit of trying to get her way by pestering me about it till I relent...
"Alright, let's get going, we're supposed to meet everyone else who'll be on this mission by the west gate and then head out using the teleportation spells."
"Mhm, let's go!" She nodded enthusiastically.
She had a triumphant look on her face, having gotten me to cave into her demand.
"Oh, if you pull anything like what you did during the ambush, I'll tie you to the bed and tickle you for twelve whole hours, understood? I am not kidding."
"Wha-!? O-okay, fine. I wouldn't do anything like that anyway, you made me promise and all," She mumbled, as we left the apartment, locking the door behind us.
And with that, we headed out for the west gate, along with the spells that Elina and Az had made. In total, there were twenty-seven people going on this mission. Of the S-Ranks, everyone except Elina and Einn were included. Elina because she wasn't a fighter, and Einn because he was a resident of Goldway, so working with the people that blew up his home country probably wouldn't go down too well.
That meant there were eight S-Ranks present, Yuur Ganroh, Ekai, Misen, Vi, Fuo, Instructor Tabbs, Selesa and Les. Then, from the third-years of the Adventurer Academy, there was Az, Gela, Persia and me...I thought about including Rai and Key as well, but like I said before, I didn't want to leave the Rustlands completely defenseless in the meantime, so I left them behind.
The remaining fifteen were all A-Ranked Adventurers, all of whom had killed at least two Vampires during that battle. There were a few more that met that condition, but they refused to come since they were too afraid and there was no point in forcing them to come along. Of those fifteen A-Ranks that were coming along, I only knew three of them, Siert Huet, Siela Larwas and Oreg Dinwiy. In case you forgot who that last one is, he's the guy with the rhino horn and uses Wind Magic with crossbows, I'd dueled him once before.
Siert was skilled enough to be an S-Rank, but his lack of confidence kept him from climbing up the ranks quickly. He was currently at the top of the A-Ranks, and should climb up to S-Rank soon though. Anyway, we soon reached the west gate, where everyone was present. Misen hadn't wanted to be a part of this, he'd had a rough time of it during that last battle, but he couldn't refuse since Erhtaph told him to. Huh, he looks kinda sick though, like he was coming down with a cold...maybe it's just my imagination.
After I made sure that all twenty-seven of us were accounted for, we headed out towards the the Goblin territory, Rion said that he'd marked the teleportation points with 'T' marks, and he'd also labeled the teleport Spell Cards he'd given me, so once we find the first 'T', we'd be at The Empire within a couple of minutes. Teleporting that far required around a dozen or so teleports, which meant that The Empire's teleport spells had about the same range as the teleport spells we used...either that, or they had better ones but were hiding it. I definitely wouldn't put it past Lagusa to do something like that.
We walked past the cave entrance and onto the road leading to The Empire. It didn't take too long to spot the 'T', it was painted on a rocky surface using black ink. I rifled through the teleport spells till I found the right one and used it, after making sure everyone was linked in physical contact with each other.
After repeating that a few more times, we found ourselves about half a kilometer away from The Empire...or what was left of it. Which was a big-ass crater. Wow, they really did blow it up...guess we won't have to worry about monster-dinosaurs anymore.
And just outside the crater, there were a couple of buildings that looked like they'd been made using Earth Magic...probably Presde's handiwork. A few people then stepped out of the buildings as we approached them...the members of the Retribution Tier. And one other, a man with longish wild white hair that framed his face, an eyepatch over his right eye, a diagonal scar that started from above his left eye and ended around the right side of his mouth.
He matched the description Rion had given me before, except for the eyepatch, which was new...was it a fashion statement or the result of the battle they'd just been through? Probably the latter. He stepped forward as we neared them, a smirk on his face.
"Greetings, Adventurers of the Rustlands! Welcome to my Empire!" He exclaimed smugly.
Okay, first impression...I don't like him, he seems annoying. His expression was irritating me.
"Your Empire, huh...so, uh, where is it?" I inquired innocently, before a smirk appeared on my face.
Time to get this truce thing underway, though I can't let myself forget...the enemy of my enemy...is still my enemy...and this temporary truce isn't going to change that...
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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism!
Also, check out my Instagram account @aimdaqs for posts relating to this book.
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