《Dysfunctional – An Assassin’s Guide To Reincarnating In Another World》Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide To Reincarnating In Another World
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Point-of-View: Selesa Jeule
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"No, I refuse! What if I get killed or something, huh, will you take responsibility!? Not that it matters, since I'd be freaking dead!" I exclaimed in protest.
I was currently outside Silvland, having finished the first half of the Quest to escort the Rustlands' representatives here. I'd be escorting them back in a couple of days, and until then, I planned to camp out in the outskirts of Silvland. Ain't no way in hell I'm going back in there, nah, fuck that. I told the clients and the other Adventurers who were on this Quest to go in without me. That had been an hour ago, and right now, my brother was trying to get me to go through the gates, along with Naro.
"Sister, you know that moving out of Silvland is against the rules, for now at least. I'm not asking you to move back, just show your face for a couple of days to appease the nobles and then you can go back to the Rustlands when the representatives head back," Sighed Les, trying to convince me.
"Yeah, well, screw the rules! They still haven't caught the radicals who're going around killing Reincarnators, so I'm not going to risk it! And why should the nobles give a rat's cum-ridden ass about me anyway, huh?"
"...because you're an S-Ranked Adventurer, remember?"
"He's right, Selesa, and it's really not that dangerous, there haven't been any deaths or disappearances reported lately. And besides, I'm a Reincarnator too, and no one's tried to kill me so far," Pointed out Naro.
"Yeah, so what? That isn't going to change my mind. I'm never returning, so there!"
"What if we make it worth your while?" Naro suddenly suggested, "Oh, and side note...you've stopped insisting on being called Sherla, good for you!"
Hm? I can't deny that first part kinda piqued my interest...but the second part annoyed me, I only stopped because no one ever called me that no matter how many times I asked...I'll just ignore the second part of what he said.
"I'm listening, what do you suggest? If it sucks, then I'm out."
"If you go in through the gates and stay just for a day to appease the nobles...you can give Les here any one order and he'll have choice but to obey."
"Huh!?" Les blurted out in indignation, "I don't recall agreeing to-!"
"I'm in! And no take-backs!" I quickly agreed.
"Great! Let's go, then!"
"Hold on! I'm not agreeing to this!" Protested Les in alarm.
"Oh, in that case, I change my mind...I'm not going in if you won't hold up your end of the bargain," I replied with a huff.
"Damn it, Les, we almost had her-!"
"Easy for you to say, you aren't the one who'll suffer afterwards."
"W-well, I...fine, how about this...why don't you two discuss and agree on what you want from Les right now, once you've come to an agreement, we'll go in, deal?" Compromised Naro, after mulling it over for a bit.
"Eh...I guess that works. But if we can't come to an agreement on something that's worth the trouble, I won't do it!"
"Fine...okay, you two can start negotiating now. Selesa, you suggest something, and Les, you agree or disagree. Let's resolve this quickly, it's cold out here," Shivered Naro with a slight grimace.
Hm, what should I go for...it shouldn't be too blunt or obvious, he would reject it immediately...I should take a more subtle approach.
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"Okay, as a reward for going in...let's take a bath together for, let's see...an hour!"
"No way."
"Wha-!? B-but I-...that's not that big a deal-."
"Yes, it is. Suggest something else."
"But we took baths together all the time when we were kids!"
"That was then, this is now...suggest something else!"
"...fine. Um, how about...oh, I know, let's play Twister-!"
"A-absolutely not! I told you before, I'm never playing that game again!"
"Hold on, did you say Twister?" Chimed in Naro with a look of surprise.
"Yeah, I took a white sheet and drew in colored circles to make it a few years ago, but it's a been a while since we played it," I sighed wistfully.
"I refuse to play that game ever again, especially with you. Something else."
"Fiiine...okay, this next suggestion is as tame as I go, refuse this and I can't think of anything else worth the trouble...give me a full body massage!"
"No-!"
"Come on, Les, let's get this over with already. I mean, it could be worse, you know...if we go back without her, they'll probably just send us back out to get her again. I'm so tired, man, help me out here..."
After seeming to go through a long, conflicting internal debate with himself, he let out an exasperated sigh and replied...
"Damn it, fine...I'll do it."
"Wooo, fuck yeah! You ain't weaseling your way out of this one, little bro!"
"Please...stop talking."
With that, I reluctantly gave it and followed after them as they headed back to the south gate of Silvland.
"You know, I have to say...you are one messed up chick, Selesa," Remarked Naro with a laugh.
"State the obvious, why don'tcha?" I quipped in reply.
"Well, at least you're aware of it."
"Are you kidding me? Just because she's aware of it doesn't make it okay," Grumbled Les.
"Oh, I should clarify...when I say full body massage, I do mean FULL BODY massage, if you catch my drift."
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that...I think my ears are bleeding."
...
...
A few hours later, around late-afternoon, I was back outside the gates, in the carriage we'd driven here in. I had shown myself to some of the nobles, checked in at the Guild, gone home for a bit and then left. I had initially planned on staying the night, but my parents started nagging me about moving back, so I left. I didn't get along with them too well, they're a bit on the fanatically religious side.
They weren't a part of the extremist faction, but the fact that they were religious meant that my existence as a Reincarnator contradicted their beliefs. It might have been my imagination, but they, and the other nobles I'd greeted today, had a different look in their eyes when they saw me, it made me pretty uncomfortable and nervous.
There was plenty of canned food and water in this carriage, and it was warm enough, I could easily last a couple of days out here, after which I'd be heading back to the Rustlands with the representatives and other Adventurers. I'd come here with a group of seven including me. Namely, two representatives, the Rustlands' prince and a royal advisor, and five Adventurers. Of those five, two were S-Ranks, myself and the Rustlands' newest S-Rank, Vi Loubder. The other three were A-Ranked Adventurers who proved to be pretty useless against Ice Wyverns and Abominable Snowmen.
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Thankfully, we had a bunch of stealth barrier spells on hand, so were able to avoid fighting most of the monster groups we ran into. We had also set up a bunch of Teleportation Points at regular intervals so that we could get back quickly. Now, then, I guess I'll just chill till the others come bac-...wait, what's that? I was hearing something outside the carriage, a slight rumbling in the distance.
I opened the sliding panel on the roof of the carriage and poked my head out to see what it was, my eyes widening in shock as I took in the sight ahead of me. Monsters were charging at the south gate. An army of Abominable Snowmen, Ice Wyverns, Lesser Cyclops, Icemen, Snow Serpents, Snow Imps and Devilpenguins...led by a swarm of Vampires.
How did I know they were Vampires? Because their wings and tails looked just like Kuro's Vampire Mode form does. That, and I felt an indescribably intense fear striking me the moment I laid eyes on them. This carriage was parked behind a couple of trees, and it didn't look like any of the monsters had spotted me. Wh-what is this? Did the Forbidden Zone finally break? Fuck, fuck, shit...what the fuck am I supposed to do here!? Is this how the world ends!?
The Vampires burst in through the south gate, while some of them, along with a number of the other monsters, began going around the walls, towards the east and west. There were so many of them...the ones in front seemed especially strong. Just by glancing at them, I could tell that...I didn't stand a chance against them. What do I do? Should I leave? But that's...
Unable to decide and frozen in fear, I silently slumped back into the carriage, my mind going blank. The fuck was this? We had passed by the Forbidden Zone only a couple of days ago, and it seemed fine then. I should...I should go back to the Rustlands and let them know what was going on...but wait, I didn't have the teleportation Spell Cards on me, Vi did...should I just take one of the horses? But if a Vampire sees me, I was as good as dead...
Wh-what should I-? I was snapped out of my thoughts as the door to the carriage suddenly opened, and Vi burst in with the prince on her back, he was unconscious and bleeding. Les was behind her as well, but no one else. Wait, how much time had passed since I first saw those monsters? How long had I been cowering in here?
"Selesa, quick...teleport us out of here...," Vi strained to say, her voice trembling as she handed me a pouch.
I opened it and took out the Spell Cards in it, fumbling as I searched for the right teleportation spell. Here it is, got it! I'm not going to think twice about this, we're out of here. I had to wonder though...just what had they seen, and how did they get away...?
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Point-of-View: Vi Loubder
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I'm bored. We had finally reached the nation of Silvland today, having traveled for about a week through the snowy area while setting up teleportation points. That made me wonder, why hadn't anyone set up Teleportation Points before? I guess that doesn't really matter.
I wish I hadn't accepted this Quest. If someone I knew well had come along, it might have been fun, but I had nothing to do between now and when we go back. The other Adventurers treated me a bit coldly, if I had to guess, they probably weren't happy that I outranked them despite only having been an Adventurer for a little over three weeks.
I knew Selesa fairly well, but she had refused to enter Silvland at all, though I had to admit, she could be a bit overwhelming to be around. I guess I'll just walk around-.
"Hey, it's been a while, Vi! How's is going?" Someone suddenly called out to me.
I turned my head in the direction of the call and waved at them...
"Oh, hey! It's you, Naro," I returned his greeting, as he came over with another guy.
I'd met him a few times in the Rustlands through Kuro, he was pretty easy to get along with so I was on friendly terms with him.
"I'm guessing you're one of the bodyguards escorting the Rustlands' reps? Oh, this is Les, by the way, Selesa's brother and another of Silvland's S-Ranks," He introduced with a smile.
"Hello, nice to meet you," Les replied with a polite nod.
"Nice to meet you too! So, you're Les, huh...Selesa, uh, talks about you a lot."
His expression showed a hint of exasperation as I said that.
"Whatever she told you...don't take it seriously," He said with a tired sigh.
"Oh, uh...okay."
"Don't mind him, he's in a bad mood because we had a pretty taxing encounter with Selesa just now," Laughed Naro, patting him on the back.
"Don't patronize me," He muttered irritably, slapping his hand away.
"Wait, I thought Selesa wasn't planning on coming into Silvland," I said inquiringly.
"Yeah, we were told to drag her in, at least for a little bit. See, it's illegal for residents of Silvland to officially move out of the nation, and since she's an S-Rank, some of the nobles were putting up a fuss, so she went to greet them and appease their concerns a bit. She went back out the gates after doing the bare minimum though, she's probably asleep in the carriage that's parked out there," Explained Naro with a wistful expression.
"Well, that does sound like her..."
"She should act her age, she's annoyingly immature," Added Les with a frown.
I remember Kuro mentioning once that she was over fifty in terms of mental age...I had to say though, the whole 'Reincarnators' stuff was a bit hard to wrap my head around.
"So, are you a Reincarnator too, Les?" I asked curiously.
"No, I'm not. Well, from how I've heard it works, I could be one, just without the memories of my past life. I don't really care either way though."
"Oh, I see-...," I began to reply, before trailing off as a loud clang interrupted me.
A couple of screams rang out, and the next thing I knew, something crashed onto the ground about fifty meters away from where we were, my eyes widening in horror as some bystanders got crushed, blood splattering everywhere.
"What in the-!?" Exclaimed Naro, as...a few monsters came into sight.
What crashed over there? Wait, was that...the front gate? But how? We had to be almost a kilometer in from the south gates...and those were Snow Imps and Devilpenguins. Monsters inside the walls of a country? That couldn't be right, monsters stayed away from areas densely populated with humans, even appearing within sight of the walls was unheard of, let alone this. Even though the monsters in the snowy area had been acting strange lately, none had actually approached either Silvland or the Rustlands.
I need to snap out of it, this is no time to get consumed by my thoughts, I need to act. It doesn't matter how or why, the fact was that monsters were inside now...and looking at the gate, it was severely dented and bent, there's no way Snow Imps and Devilpenguins did that. The civilians were evacuating deeper in, while several Adventurers were rushing towards the gate.
"Hey, Naro, Les...I need to go to the Rustlands' representatives and make sure they're safe, if you guys don't have anything in particular to do, would you mind coming with me?" I requested.
"Sure, count me in, it looks like enough reinforcements headed for the south gate, so I don't think I need to," Agreed Naro with a nod.
"Yeah, why not, I'll come too."
"Great, thanks! I'll feel a lot better with two S-Ranks with me. Let's go, they're staying at that huge inn by the castle, we'll have to teleport our way ther-," I began, when suddenly, a loud booming voice echoed through the air.
Before I knew what was happening, Naro grabbed Les and me, dragging us into the entrance of an alley.
"Bear with me, guys, I think we better stay out of sight," He remarked, a bead of sweat running down his nervous looking face.
He was looking up at the sky...I followed his gaze, and just barely stopped myself from gasping out loud. Huh?
"Those wings and tails looks really familiar...don't tell me those are Vampires," Mumbled Les, a hint of urgency in his voice.
He was right...I had seen those wings and tail before, on Kuro, during last year's Brawl of Glory. So, then, these are Vampires? I felt a chill run down my spine as I looked up at them, fear enveloping my body and senses. I had never felt this before, it was absolutely terrifying.
There were hundreds of them in the air above us, looming menacingly. Their clothes were tattered and worn out, they wore dark ragged outfits that looked absolutely ancient. All of them had either black, white or gray hair, along with red streaks, red eyes with black where humans had whites, and sharp fangs and claws.
"Ahem, I address the humans of this country, I am the Vampire King, Lazarus Orlock...the nation of Silvland no longer belongs to you humans, we Vampires shall be taking over. Do not worry, we will not kill you all, you shall be our sustenance after all. However, resistance would be rather annoying, therefore, in order to make clear how overwhelmingly stronger we are than you humans...we shall engage in a small culling of your population. My subordinates shall attack your civilians, so you Adventurers had better defend them! I do hope you will be able to entertain my troops. Go, my subordinates, rampage till I give the order to stop. I shall head to the castle of this nation, come with me, my Evil Numbers and Vampire Knights!" Boomed the Vampire King, he was out in front, he had long, straight crimson red hair with three black streaks, two down in front and one across the back, the front covered his forehead and the back grew past his shoulders, and he appeared to be the only one of the Vampires with mostly red hair, all the others had a smaller proportion of red in their hair.
On his signal, the Vampires scattered, a small group following after him in the direction of the castle, while the hundreds of others spread out in random directions, going after the people on the streets, as screams began ringing out all around us, sending chills down my spine. This was...this was a nightmare...
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