《Dysfunctional – An Assassin’s Guide To Reincarnating In Another World》Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide To Reincarnating In Another World
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"You are back to your own appearance, I see," Greeted King Goldway, as he and Clari walked out from behind the waterfall after I cleared my throat in the agreed upon signal.
"Yup, it's kind of a long story."
"You arrived a bit later than we expected, did something happen?"
"Like I said, it's kind of a long story. I'll explain as we move, we better not linger too long," I replied with some urgency.
There's a chance that The Empire might pursue me, and I'd rather not take that chance.
"You look so different...in a good way," Remarked Clari with surprise, looking me up and down.
"Oh, uh...thanks, I guess. Well, then, let's get going."
We began making our way back in the direction of Silvland on foot, though our progress was pretty slow, since the king was still pretty weak. I had healed all his injuries, but his bones and muscles were severely weakened, and he couldn't walk much without assistance. Every so often, I entered Vampire Mode and carried the two of them and flew forward as fast as I could, I could cover a decent amount of distance in about thirty-five seconds, which was my current limit in that form.
We used the invisibility barrier to stay hidden and minimize the number of monster attacks we encountered, though it was kind of a tight fit.
And then, finally, after nine days of walking, with occasional bursts of flying, we finally reached the halfway point between Silvland and The Empire. I think it's safe to say now...mission complete! Okay, so technically it wasn't complete till we get back and report, but whatever.
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...
"Oh, you're finally back, you're kinda late-...wait, who are they?" Selesa called out as we reached the spot where I had buried the teleportation Spell Scrolls plus other scrolls and valuables.
There was a small cave nearby, and it looked like the others had been staying there while waiting for me.
"I'll explain soon enough. First, where's the bag we buried?" I inquired, as she stared at the king and Clari with a skeptical and suspicious look.
"Hm? Oh, it's in the cave. Come on," She replied, walking over to the entrance of the cave.
She led us into the cave, where Misen and Les were sitting. They looked surprised to see me with company, so before anything else, I decided to explain that first...
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"...woah, that's a lot to take in. So...this is the king of Goldway?" Selesa spoke up first following a brief silence after I finished explaining.
"I suppose that is technically former king, my country...does not exist anymore," The king- er, or rather...Aurich Goldway replied.
"O-oh, uh...sorry, my bad," Selesa apologized sheepishly.
"So, now that we're all here, let us teleport back to Silvland already," Suggested Misen impatiently.
As the others all began talking, I went through the bag with the scrolls, taking out the Extract scroll that was linked to the Store scroll I used on Imsret's corpse and a Call scroll that I had also buried.
I left the cave to find a place to use the Extract scroll, settling for a spot behind a row of bushes. I activated it, and the corpse appeared on the ground in front of me, in the exact same condition it had been in when I used Store on it. I changed back into my black tank top, tying my black hoodie around my waist, and letting out a satisfied sigh of relief.
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Finally, back in all-black...I felt like myself again. Damn, I think I'm getting somewhat emotional over here...
Anyway, I took back my sword and other small weapons, hid the corpse under the bushes and made my way back to the cave after tossing away the armor I'd been wearing during the infiltration.
I then went back into the cave, where the others were talking to Aurich. Clari was sitting behind him, looking a bit uncomfortable. Guess she wasn't used to crowds, either that or it had been a while since she'd been among a crowd.
"Alright, before we teleport back to Silvland...let's discuss what each of us saw during the two weeks we spent in The Empire," I suggested, the others agreeing, though Misen averted his gaze slightly...what was that about?
I went first.
I explain what I had found out about Blood Crystals, Aurich and Clari were a bit grim as I talked about that part...couldn't blame them, it was what destroyed their country after all. I then moved on to the Spell Cards, showing them the few that I had stolen and brought with me, the intangibility spell, the colossal barrier, remote activation paralysis with a hundred meter range, remote activation Blood Crystal trigger with the same range and the invisibility and basic barriers.
Next, I discussed the members of the Retribution Tier, their names, abilities and personalities. When explaining their abilities, I had to admit what had happened on the morning of my depature, my cover getting blown and having to take on three of them.
"So, you're saying each one of them are stronger than multiple S-Ranks put together?" Asked Selesa with a frown.
"I would say so. No offense, but they're way stronger than the three of you are," I replied affirmatively.
"And your Vampire Mode is strong enough to effortlessly take on three of them?"
"Uh...I wouldn't say effortlessly, but I suppose it was kinda one-sided."
I then continued, awkwardly bringing up the truth serum, which earned another grimace from Aurich. I couldn't not talk about it though, its existence was a pretty big deal. Next, I discussed the Lapdog Elite Squad, though I didn't consider them much of a threat, I'd rate all of them at A and B-Ranks in comparison to Adventurers, none of them were even close to S-Rank level.
And finally, the soul research. After I finished explaining the details of this one, the others were in silent shock, unable to respond.
"Their leader can use all five Elemental Magic types? That's just...unfair," Selesa finally spoke up and broke the silence.
"Mhm, though I never actually saw the guy. King-...uh, I mean, Mr Goldway, did you ever see Tirayze Valaque?"
"No, I did not. At least, not as far as I can remember. My apologies, a lot of my memories of the past year or so is rather unclear," He replied apologetically.
"No, uh, you don't have to apologize, you can hardly be blamed for that," I responded awkwardly, before turning to the others and adding, "There's one more thing I need to discuss, but that's gonna be a lot to take in, so I'll save it for after you guys go."
Les went next, he hadn't been able to find out much, other than how the point system for the pawns and lapdogs works, and about the campsites in the surrounding areas to The Empire.
"Sorry, not much I could do as a pawn," He sighed, his explanation a lot more brief than mine.
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"Nah, it's cool, and besides, it's not like you found nothing, you did well in your limited position. Well, now I know where the animals I found in the Lab 25 basement came from," I replied, before looking between Selesa and Misen to see who wanted to go next.
Selesa volunteered, with a cocky grin...though it looked sorta forced, like she was trying to act normal. Wait, is it just me, or does she look kinda...stressed? The look in her eyes was kinda worn out. Maybe it's just my imagination.
She started with what she'd learnt about the poison research that The Empire was currently working on, most notably mentioning the creation of poison smoke bombs. She then talked about what she'd seen in the underground gun chamber. Next, she moved on to torture and interrogation methods, apparently they'd been looking into how to most effectively interrogate someone using torture, basically how to inflict as much pain as possible without denting the victim's sanity. I noticed that she looked kinda uneasy while talking about this particular subject.
She then mentioned a crippled blonde woman who had created a voodoo doll and several other toxins that were effective torture tools.
"Wait, you worked with Dista? Man, I couldn't believe she was still alive, I was sure that she died over a year ago," I remarked, before briefly explaining my last encounter with her as Selesa gave me an inquiring look.
"Oh, that explains the injuries...I didn't think she was all that bad though, definitely messed up in the head, but...the other junior researcher I worked with was a hundred times worse," Selesa sighed stressfully.
She began complaining about the guy, and I began to cut her off as she droned on, before a part of her complaints sounded familiar...namely, being chased by the guy at night in the Research building, during which he seriously damaged the walls and floor of the ground floor of the building.
"You, uh...wouldn't happen to be talking about Arg Lehosa, would you?"
"Yeah, that's him! How did you...?"
"That name sounds familiar...," Misen furrowed his brows, trying to put his finger on it.
"He's the guy who disappeared from my class, you fought him in the Brawl of Glory last year, the one with Earth Magic, long blonde hair and obnoxious golden armor, remember?"
"Oh...him."
"Wait, you guys know him?"
I briefly explained our history, before telling her about what happened that night, after she'd been saved by Sicario, I killed Arg.
"Alright, if that's it, I guess that just leaves you, Mis-," I began.
"No, I've still got one more thing to talk about. And this is HUGE! Guys...dinosaurs aren't extinct!" Exclaimed Selesa.
"Dino...what?" Misen tilted his head in confusion.
"Are you okay, sister?"
"Yeah, I already know...you heard me mention that I saw inside Lab 25's basement, didn't you?" I replied, before adding, "Did you find out where The Empire got them from? From what I saw, it looked like they must be injecting the animals with Dark Magic to create hybrids."
"Mhm, you got it, though that's not all. And yup, I know where they're from, they came from under Platinberg!"
She told us about the massive underground cavern underneath and extending to the north of Platinberg, where dinosaurs roamed in this world. And injecting them with Karma wasn't the only thing they were doing...they had created a spell that could extract a person's Anima in the form of a small crystal ball called an Anima Orb, and the same spell could also extract an Anima Orb from an animal.
Using the spell on a human had a high chance of the person dying, but using it on an animal would only make them tired, and you could extract multiple Anima Orbs from a single animal without putting them in any danger.
And then, if a person survived their Anima being extracted, you could implant an Anima Orb into them just by pressing it against their skin, though that had a low chance of success. But if it did work, they would get a new Anima.
"That's all pretty interesting, but the success rate sounds like it's really low and it's not like getting a new Anima will guarantee that the person will be stronger, right? Animas manifest in varying extents, after all, so I don't think we need to worry about-," I began.
"U-uh, actually, about th-that...," She interrupted, stuttering sheepishly.
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"...you did what?"
"I-it was an a-accident-!"
"So, let me get this straight...not only did you give The Empire the knowledge that multiple Anima Orbs can be implanted if they're pressed against a person simultaneously, but you also created a multi-dino Anima successful test subject in the process!?"
"Wh-what's the problem, your Vampire Mode is probably stronger-."
"Arghhh, you stupid bitch...!" I growled in frustration, before trailing off with an irritated sigh.
"On another note, after I returned to my normal appearance, I had a few small aches and pains, especially my boobs, they feel really sore," She added while massaging her boobs, trying to change the subject with a very obvious distraction.
"Do any of us look like we give a shit?"
"Hey, would you mind explaining? What are these 'dinosaurs' you keep talking about?" Inquired Misen with a curious and impatient look.
"First, let's hear what you learned during your two weeks in The Empire."
He averted his gaze again, before starting to explain. He had only learnt about the point system and the reason why the pawns were loyal to The Empire, the fact that The Empire's point system gave them a fair chance at building up a decent life, after their own countries had treated them like trash. He mentioned seeing a bunch of metal cages in the weapon storage sheds, Selesa pointed out that those were probably used to capture animals from the savanna. After that, his explanations got kinda vague and unclear. Oh, I see...
"...you didn't stay for the full two weeks, did you?"
"..."
"How long did you stay for?"
"I left after a week."
"...well, you turned out to be mostly useless."
So, that's the extent of the information we were able to collectively gather, huh...not too bad overall, but if there was one thing I would have liked to learn, it'd be learning more about their leader...as it was, I didn't even see the guy, let alone confirm his abilities. Sicario had claimed that Tirayze Valaque was the strongest person in this world, and he wasn't really the type to exaggerate.
Anyway, time to drop the bombshell...
"Alright, now that we've discussed everything we learnt...there's something else we need to talk about. Normally, I wouldn't bother, but while in The Empire, it was clear that we're at a disadvantage by keeping this a secret, because they talk about it openly and that's the reason why they're more advanced than the other nations in a lot of areas. This is gonna be kinda hard to believe...Selesa, back me up, okay?"
"Wait, you mean-....alright. I agree, I realized the same thing while I was there too."
With that...I told them about reincarnation, and how some people in this world retained the memories of their previous lives, including myself and Selesa in the present company. I explained how, from every such person I'd met so far, all such people were previously from worlds that were scientifically more advanced than this one, and where magic didn't exist. And I also clarified how we knew about dinosaurs, they were reptiles that were long extinct in our old worlds.
There was a prolonged, stunned silence after I finished explaining. Not particularly surprising, I guess...
"Hm, this does sound familiar...I believe I heard some of the researchers discuss this matter while I was captured, but I could not make sense of it...," Muttered Aurich, breaking the silence after several minutes.
"It is rather hard to believe...but since the only way to prove or disprove it would be to die, I cannot refute it, I suppose," Misen added, scratching his head.
"Wait...does this mean you're mentally older than you are physically?" Inquired Les curiously.
"Uh...well, in my case, I'm mentally about twenty-one, I think...this body is technically eighteen, but I've only been in this world for two years, I was nineteen when I died in my old world."
"...I-I'm mentally f-fifty p-plus...I reincarnated here as a baby after dying in my early-thirties," Selesa admitted reluctantly.
"You sure about that? You don't seem mentally fifty-plus, more like mentally a thirteen-year old boy whose mind is constantly in the gutter," I snickered with a raised eyebrow.
"I agree, perfectly said," Nodded Les in agreement.
"Wh-wha-!? You guys are the worst, you lousy puddles of dog cum! Go shove sandpaper dildos up your dickholes!"
"You said magic did not exist in your previous world. Out of curiosity, what did you do before you died?" Inquired Misen with a look of interest.
"Oh, uh...I was an assassin."
"That...explains a lot."
"Woah, cool!" Exclaimed Selesa.
Huh, didn't I already tell her that I was an assassin? I can't remember whether I did or not.
"Oh, there's something else I should mention. Sicario, the highest ranked member of the Retribution Tier...," I began, continuing after a small pause, "...he's the person who trained me in my old life."
"Dun...dun...DUUNNNN!" Selesa exclaimed in a deep voice for dramatic effect, before adding, "W-wait, what did you say? Come to think of it, that guy did sorta have an Italian accent..."
"What is wrong with you?" Les sighed in exasperation, as everyone stared at her incredulously after that 'dun dun dun'.
"Hold on, one of the highest ranked members of The Empire is your master?" Misen exclaimed in surprise.
"Ugh, don't call him that...and in case you're wondering, no, I don't have any affection for the guy, we were never close to begin with, but there's also the fact that he's the reason I died in the first place, as I found out during the infiltration. I definitely plan on killing him the next time I see him, I just narrowly missed out on doing so this time. Enough about me, I really don't like talking about my past that much...what was your old life like, Selesa?"
"M-me? I was, uh...I h-had a cool j-job too!"
"Which was...?"
"I-I...I, um..."
It took a while for her to stop her embarrassed stuttering, after which she finally admitted...that she was a NEET, who died by drowning in a bathtub after pulling an all-nighter with gaming.
"You, uh...didn't have to admit that if you didn't want to, you know. You could've just lied, you stupid bitch," I sighed, as no one knew what to say and an awkward silence filled the cave.
"Wha-!? You tell me that now!? And don't call me a-!"
"Anyway, if there's nothing else...let's teleport-."
"I just remembered...sister, did you find out anything about that plant they were gathering from the savanna area?" Les suddenly cut in.
"Hm? Oh, you mean weed?"
"What? No, I mean...I can't quite remember what it was called, but-."
It took a while to get everyone on the same page. Selesa and I explained that weed was just a recreational drug, and shouldn't be anything to worry about. I left out the part where I got high with the Retribution Tier members, it wasn't of particular importance or anything...
"Just so we're clear, you are talking about the plant we smoked in that hidden cove in the forest area, right? The one I had to gather to take to Goldway," Misen inquired, to which I nodded in reply.
"Yup, that's the one. Though, it could be a different strain, I guess."
"Before the events of a year ago, this plant was quite popular for recreational use amongst the nobles of Goldway, and the sample we got sent from the Rustlands was similar but slightly different," Aurich confirmed.
"I heard that we also sent samples to the other nations, didn't you know?" I asked Selesa, who shook her head in surprise.
Anyway, with that...we had nothing left to discuss.
So, we began teleporting back, and a few minutes later...we were back on the outskirts of Silvland, the west gate just about in view. We had passed by a few groups of Adventurers on the last couple of teleports, and there were a few roaming around here as well. I stayed on alert in case any of them directed hostile intent at us, you never know who could be a spy.
Following after Selesa and Les, we made our way to the west gate, entering the nation of Silvland. They took us to a building and told us to wait there. After half an hour, they returned with Princess Agatha and Naro.
We spent a couple of hours discussing everything that had happened and how to proceed with all that we'd learnt. With Naro and Selesa backing me up, we told the princess about the whole reincarnation thing, and while she did seem to have some trouble believing it, she didn't seem to think we were lying, at least.
With everything out in the open, she gave a suggestion on how to proceed. At the moment, Silvland was in a kinda unstable situation politically, the royals were trying to implement separation of law and religion, to which the radical noble like Prince Aguil were all stubbornly against. Therefore, she suggested that it'd be better if we took Aurich Goldway, and Clari Ramigoll, to the Rustlands instead of having them stay in Silvland.
I decided that it wouldn't be a bad idea to give them a couple of the Spell Cards as a show of good faith, so I decided to give them the basic barrier and invisibility barrier cards I had stolen, keeping the intagibility barrier, remote activation paralysis, remote activation Blood Crystal trigger and colossal barrier cards for myself. Selesa and I both had a gun each, so we had no trouble dividing those up.
With everything settled, we began preparing to head back to the Rustlands. About an hour later, we were in a carriage, drawn by two horses. I took the reins, Misen, Aurich and Clari sat inside. Four people...at least, it should have been four people...
"...what are you doing here, Selesa?" I sighed, glaring at the person who hopped onto the driver's bench next to me.
"What? I've never been to the Rustlands, and besides...the princess said that things are politically unstable right now, I don't wanna deal with that shit!"
"...I'm not gonna waste my time arguing with you, but if you're going to tag along, sit in the back."
"Oh, come on, I'm a good carriage driver-!"
"Ohh, so that's what you were doing! Sorry, my mistake. Cool, I'll be in the back, thanks for driving," I interrupted with a grin, handing her the reigns and hopping off before she could react, and then heading inside the carriage.
Finally...I'm going back home!
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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism!
Also, check out my Instagram account @aimdaqs for posts relating to this book.
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