《Dysfunctional – An Assassin’s Guide To Reincarnating In Another World》Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide To Reincarnating In Another World
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"This is delicious," I sighed contentedly.
This was, by a distance, the best meal I'd had since coming to this world. Heck, maybe the best meal I've had in both my lives. The buffet was stocked with plenty of different kinds of meat, it was like a dream. Well, there were also other dishes, but I ignored everything that wasn't meat.
The room was filled with plenty of tables, each big enough to seat five people, though some of the competitors sat alone while they ate. I was sitting with Persia and Rai, with Misen thankfully sitting at a table well away from us. He was with Siert, who looked like he wanted to run away from him but didn't have the nerve to.
Man, how was someone that strong so weak willed?
"You sure aren't holding back, are you?" Said Rai, staring at the pile of meat on my plate.
"It's not everyday I get to gorge myself on top grade meat like this, I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't make full use of this. I'll never understand people who go on vegetarian, and especially vegan, diets," I replied, chomping down on a mouthful of lamb.
"Huh? What's vegan mean?" Inquired Persia curiously.
I glanced at Rai, and from his expression, it looked like that was a concept that didn't exist in this world, not yet anyway.
"Oh, uh...it's-," I began, trying to think of an explanation that wouldn't sound suspicious.
"Hi there! Do you mind if I join this table, first years?" Interrupted a friendly sounding voice.
I turned towards the direction it came from. Vi Loubder, the fifth ranked at the Academy, was standing by our table with a smile. No thanks, nothing personal but four's too much of a crowd. Especially with a stranger.
I'd probably come off as rude, but I wanted to maximize my enjoyment of this meat, and letting someone I don't know sit with us could make things a bit uncomfortable and lessen the experience for me.
Hmm, but I should probably avoid being too blunt like I usually am. I began to politely refuse, but before I could say anything...
"Of course! We don't mind at all!" Replied Rai cheerfully.
Hey, who's 'we'!? I mind! I very much mind!
Damn it...now it'd be way too rude to turn her away.
"Thanks! I'm Vi Loubder. I came over here because you first years are really interesting! Before this, first year students participating in these tournaments was a rarity, and even when it did happen, they rarely did too well. But this year, five first years entered and all five made it past the first round! So, my curiosity was piqued. I tried talking to the other two first years, but they made it clear that they didn't want company, and they didn't even try to be subtle. For a moment I expected you three to do the same!"
Yeah, one of us almost did.
"Those guys are like that to everyone, don't take it personally. We aren't like that at all though!" Assured Rai.
Speak for yourself.
"I can see that. Hey, girl with the cat ears! You're name's...Perisa, right? Was that Propulsion you were using? I've never seen it used so well before, I was really surprised when you changed directions at the end despite that incredible speed! That was easily the best display and mastery of Propulsion I've ever seen!"
"Um...m-my name's Persia. And yeah, th-that was Propulsion. W-was it really that great, I dunno, I feel like I still have a lot of room for improvement. But, um, thanks a lot, Miss Loubder, I a-appreciate you saying all that," She stuttered sheepishly, looking pleased to receive a compliment.
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She still gets pretty nervous and shy around complete strangers, and was probably not used to receiving compliments. Her awkward reactions were cute though. Come to think of it, she had been pretty giddy when I noticed her improvements when we were training together. Maybe I should compliment her more often...
Wait, what? I mean, er...oh, whatever...just forget it!
...at this point, I'll just accept whatever embarrassing thoughts pop into my head. So long as I don't say it out loud, who friggin' cares.
"No need to be so formal, just call me Vi! Oh, and you! Um, something...Black?"
"Kuro," I replied, the mention of my last name triggering a twinge of embarrassment.
Can I go back in time and have a do-over of this life?
"Right, Kuro! I'm sure you're one of the ones that attracted the most attention during the first round! That regenerative ability of yours was like nothing I've ever seen before!" She exclaimed with interest and curiosity, leaning in closer and closer towards me with every word.
"Oh, uh...thanks," I replied awkwardly.
Oh, right...I have no idea how to receive compliments either. It felt weird.
"Well, that's what most people would have noticed about you, but your actual skills were top notch too! Your technique and movements are really efficient, not to mention your reflexes and instincts, and topped with that speed, you're a force to be reckoned with!" She was literally inches away from my face at this point, her kangaroo ears twitching as she stared at me with interest.
I flinched a bit as her boobs slightly pressed against my arm, my hand dropping my meat filled fork. I felt an intense glare focused on the side of my head, coming from the Cat Girl sitting next to me.
"U-uh, I appreciate you saying all that. Your kick was pretty astonishing too!" I replied, slowing my breathing and biting the inside of my cheek to force my heart rate down and calm myself.
Okay, it felt a bit less awkward if I replied to a compliment with a compliment. Huh, her ears twitched a lot. They weren't on the same level as cat ears, but they were still pretty cute.
...okay, I know I said I'll just accept my embarrassing thoughts, but...what is wrong with me!?
"Thank you! Hey, if we both make it past the second round, we'll be matched up to fight each other for the third round. I look forward to it, you seem like you're someone whom I could have a lot of fun fighting against!"
"Well...I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, for now I'll focus on the second round. Things are easier when you take them one step at a time."
Ugh, did that come off as too preachy? I mean, I meant exactly what I said, that's just how I like to operate, but maybe I shouldn't have said it out loud.
"Hmm, I suppose you're right. There's no guarantee that I'll make it past the second round either, anything can happen, after all!"
"You should say that in a more positive light! Yes, anything can happen, like I could win my next match too! I mean, it's not impossible..." Chimed in Rai.
Spare me you boundless optimism.
"Yeah, that's a good point, I like your optimism! Who's your next opponent."
"Uh...Ekai Zabel."
"Ohh...well, um...do you best! A-anything can happen, after a-all!" She replied, very, very unconvincingly.
"Heh...right," Replied a dejected Rai, half heartedly poking at the food on his plate.
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"Well, I should go now. I've taken up enough of your break time! Oh, Kuro?"
"Uh, yeah?"
"I noticed that you were staring at my ears a lot. Are you curious about them?" She asked, making me choke on my food.
"Wh-wha, no! I, er...well, they kept t-twitching, and my eyes just, uh, instinctively followed the movement, that's all!" I stuttered in reply, after gulping down some water, as I felt my face turn red.
I felt the glare on me from Persia's direction intensify.
"Oh, I see. No need to overreact, it's not like I mind or anything, I was just wondering why you kept looking at them. You can even touch them if you're curious."
Stay calm. Stay calm.
"N-no thanks, I-I'm good!"
"Hehe, you're fun to mess with! I was just kidding around, I'm sorry! I just couldn't resist, your reactions are funny! Hope you aren't mad at me. Well, I'll see you around, first years!"
And with that, she left.
Wha-? What just happened?
She sure seemed to be a nice and friendly person with good intentions, but...in the few minutes she'd been here, I'd lost my appetite and felt like disappearing into the ground.
How terrifying, I couldn't dislike her, but I'd definitely rather deal with people like Misen, or even Arg.
"You shouldn't stare at people's ears, Kuro. It's rude, you're lucky that she didn't mind," Said Persia, in a cold voice.
Yikes.
"U-uh, r-right," I replied nervously.
She was definitely pissed off. I guess all that ear talk must have reminded her of the whole me petting her ears scenario. She must have been mad about that, after all.
"What, do you have a thing for animal-like ears or something? Creepy."
Gulp.
"H-huh, what makes you say th-that? D-don't be silly!" I retorted, rather unconvincingly.
"I-I'm gonna go for another round of food," Muttered Rai, as an awkward tension enveloped our table.
Well...the rest of the lunch break continued in that awkward silence, so...let's get back to the tournament!
Round two begins!
"Well, see you around, Rai."
"Huh?"
"Well, it's just that...if you lose then you won't be allowed back into the waiting area, you either have to leave the stadium or get a seat among the crowd. So we probably won't see other again today."
"Wow, you have absolutely no expectations of me winning, do you?"
"Uh...you should count it as a win if you can stay in the fight for about...a minute or so," I encouraged Rai, and he got ready to head to the arena.
"You know what? I'm gonna give it all I got and go for the win!" He declared.
"...you know, there's a difference between optimism and delusion, but...well, I suppose I have no reason to discourage you, so go knock yourself out, man. Let's just leave it at something along the lines of 'do your best'," I shrugged.
"...coming from you, that's good enough, I'll take what I can get! Alright, I'm heading off!"
I can never figure that guy out.
As both fighters arrived at the middle of the arena, I activated Lightning Boost, focusing it on my eyes. Rai would definitely be using his own Lightning Boost, and that would be tough to follow without a perception boost.
"Ready...FIGHT!"
Once again, Ekai started off with firing that massive, blazing fireball. Rai shot away to his left, narrowly avoiding the flames as they went on to crash into the barrier, sending a wave of shimmers rippling across the whole barrier. Rai swung his chain across, the attached sickle slicing towards Ekai.
Instead of dodging, he caught the sickle by its handle with his right hand and fired another scorching ball of flames towards Rai, who quickly sent a stream of lightning through the chains before letting go of them and racing across to the right.
Part of his sleeve near the shoulder area got scorched off, but he'd managed to avoid getting seriously burned. More importantly, he'd managed to inflict some damage to Ekai. He took a risk by not dodging the flames right away, but it had paid off, that extra moment he took to stream his lightning through the chain and sickle before starting to dodge had resulted in Ekai getting pretty significantly zapped.
Oh, and if you're wondering why he hadn't engulfed his sickle and chains with lightning to begin with, it's because it's really hard to run around with Lightning Boost and keep it stable while at the same time streaming lightning through a weapon...not impossible, but very difficult. Especially with a long weapon like his.
Think about it, maintaining an even internal flow of lightning streams while also externally streaming lightning through a long chain and sickle...it's like...oh, I got it, try waving one hand side to side while waving the other one up and down. Pretty tough, right? It was like that but a lot trickier.
He quickly began charging up lightning in both his hands, as his opponent had been slightly stunned by the shock. No pun intended...well, that's a lie.
I intend all my puns.
He then moved his hands in front of him and fired off rapid, streaky bolts of lightning from each hand towards Ekai. Before his attacks could strike, Ekai narrowly twisted out of the way and flung the sickle back towards Rai, who moved off to the side but couldn't avoid a cut on his left shoulder, though he managed to grab onto the chain and retrieve his weapon.
That was some pretty impressive agility...well a lion is a cat, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, dodging such rapid blasts of lightning while you're on the back foot was nowhere near easy but he'd done it pretty easily. Persia was able to follow my movements pretty well when we trained together, so it stands to reason that he probably had good eyesight too.
And he had raw strength too, that sickle had been thrown back at an alarmingly rapid pace, and when Rai caught the chain to stop it, he had almost lost his balance. Ekai then gathered flames in both hands and fired it forward. Except this time it wasn't fireballs, it was a continuous flame, in other words, it was like he was using a massive flamethrower.
Rai raced across the arena as the flames followed him, just barely staying ahead. He was nearing a corner of the barrier with no room to dodge or evade.
He then picked up his speed and charged towards the barrier wall with the flames close on his heels. He used the momentum of his speed to run up the barrier wall and then backflip off of it, just barely jumping over the flames. That had almost not worked, the barrier wall had no friction and he nearly slipped on it.
He then flung his sickle away to the right of his opponent, before yanking the chain across to the left as hard as he could, the sickle swinging towards Ekai's head in a rapid arc. However, he managed to duck out of the way, before grabbing and shattering the chain so that he wouldn't get zapped again.
Rai was breathing really heavily and sweating bullets. Huh, why did he look so exhausted, it hadn't been that long since the fight began.
Oh, wait...
...I get it, the arena and barrier may be big, but it was still an enclosed space. And with the amount of flames that Ekai had been blasting out, a lot of oxygen must have been burnt up by now.
And since Rai had been on the move for this entire fight while Ekai had more or less been staying in the same spot, there was a drastic gap in the amount of stamina each of them had used up. Rai wasn't very strong at long range attacks with his lightning, that's probably why he had chosen a weapon that could compensate for that, but with the chain broken, his weapon and most effective attack against this opponent had been taken out of the equation. He can't risk firing from his mouth because he'll have to stop using Lightning Boost to do so.
It was only a matter of time now.
The fight didn't last long after that, Rai managed to narrowly dodge a few more fire attacks, but with the air getting thinner, his stamina dwindling, and no effective offensive options left, it wasn't long before he got cornered by the flames and was teleported out.
"The winner is...third year student, Ekai Zabel!"
As the barrier was deactivated, Ekai walked over to Rai and said something to him, before heading back towards the waiting area. Rai sighed, turned towards the waiting area with a wave in my direction, and then began walking towards the path that led to the spectator seats.
He got a smattering of polite applause from the audience, he'd held his own for a brief moment against the strongest Academy student, after all.
The second match was Persia against a guy with Earth Magic.
"He did better than I thought he would," I remarked, "You'll be up against the same opponent if you get past this round. Good luck, Cat G-."
She cut me off with an annoyed glare, before turning to head to the arena.
Huh, guess she was still mad.
"Whatever. I'll use this match to blow off some steam."
I kinda felt bad for her opponent. Well, better him than me.
"Hey, Ekai! What did you say to that first year after your fight?" I heard Misen inquire curiously.
"I simply told him that he has talent. Do not attempt to start a conversation with me. I do not like you."
Wow, and I thought I was blunt.
"Heh, that deadpan blunt honesty of yours is as charming as ever, I see."
So, that's what a conversation between the top two highest ranked Academy students looks like....
...they sure seemed to get along.
As both fighters entered the arena and the barrier activated, her opponent looked like he was about to say something, but stopped when he saw her irritated face.
"Ready...FIGHT!"
She immediately shot straight up with a powerful blast, all the way to the ceiling of the barrier, and then shifted her Propulsion from her feet to her hands, raising them straight above her, also lifting her left foot as high as she could.
A sphere of wind was rapidly spinning around her foot, as she blasted herself back down at full power towards her opponent by propelling wind out of her raised hands.
She slammed her wind enhanced foot down in a brutally vicious dropkick as she neared the ground, her opponent jumped back to dodge it, but as the impact of her kick crashed down onto the ground, the arena floor shattered like a thin sheet of glass, the sheer force sent slight shockwaves through the stadium, as a few cracks appeared in the barrier as well.
It was like a meteor had fallen. Her opponent was outside the barrier, he looked like he had taken a bit of damage. Guess he must have gotten caught up in the flying debris before getting teleported out.
He'd have been better off if he didn't dodge her kick.
"Er, the winner is...first year student, Persia Gerit!"
So, that was her 'blowing off some steam', huh?
I should definitely avoid pissing her off in the future. Though, her bad mood wasn't completely my fault, even if I was the one that it was mainly focused on.
"Ahh, I feel a lot better after that," She sighed, as she re-entered the waiting area.
Okay...she did look like she was in a better mood now.
"C-congrats on the win, that was pretty amazing," I greeted, as she came next to me.
"Oh, um...thanks. It was nothing," She replied after a brief pause.
Okay, she wasn't fully back to normal, but at least she was in a significantly better mood.
"That was so awesome Persia! That was some kick! I feel all pumped up to try and top it in my next match!" Gushed Vi, walking over.
"I feel bad for your next opponent," I mumbled under my breath, as Persia awkwardly accepted the compliment.
"Hehe, I heard that! Do you think I should go more easy on my opponents instead?"
Persia's ears had twitched a bit when I mumbled too, guess these two had pretty good hearing with their animal ears. Definitely should keep that in mind.
It's a good thing that what I said had been pretty innocuous.
"That's upto you, I suppose. I guess being defeated in a single strike wouldn't feel too good, but personally, if someone deliberately pulled their punches against me, I'd hate that a lot more. That's just me though, I can't speak for everyone," I replied, as the third match of round two began.
Misen was fighting a girl with Lightning Magic.
"Same here. Obviously being completely overpowered by your opponent in just one move would be frustrating, but I'd hate fighting someone who doesn't bother taking it seriously and treating me like I'm not a threat much, much more," Agreed Persia.
"I guess that makes sense. Going easy on an opponent would be disrespectful to them...hmm, alright then! I'll go all out against any and all opponents from this day forward!" Declared Vi, as Misen effortlessly won his second match in a matter of seconds.
Crap, if I made it to the next round, she was most likely going to be my opponent. I might have accidentally just dug my own grave. Oh well, for now I'll not think about that and just focus on this round.
The next match was Arg against a guy with Water Magic. It was a close contest, with Arg once again managing to sneak in another win. He had made it to the third round, and had guaranteed himself a top eight finish.
Luck was certainly a factor in tournaments like these, he hadn't gotten much stronger than he was two months ago, but thanks to a couple of fortunate match ups, he had made it to the quarter-finals.
Although...his opponent in the next round was going to be Misen, so his luck would run out soon enough.
Anyway, with that, the second round of the tournament was now halfway over, and my next fight was just one match away, and I could hardly wait. Most of my expectations had been let down since coming to this world. But you know what?
This tournament was getting to be pretty interesting...
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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism! Also, check out my Instagram account @aimdaqs for posts relating to this book.
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