Avery knew she was justifying things. At this point she had to be the Queen of Justification. She and Christian weren't a normal couple. They were only pretending to be.

Both of them had secrets they never intended to share. Though in her case, she already knew his through observation and deduction. He didn't know that and he never could because he would want to know how she knew.

How was she supposed to explain that she figured it out after their first date because of all the time she had spent studying him as a villain in love with her hero? Even if she didn't factor the villain part of it into things she would seem like a super creepy stalker fan. Not happening.

She didn't want the weight of the secrets between them to be an issue. She wanted them to be a proper team but she didn't have much experience with healthy marriages since her parents were divorced and Horatio had been widowed so young. For most of her childhood Beatriz and Domenica hadn't been married and she only saw Felisa and Miguel a few times a year.

Avery had gotten a little more involved in the Cruz clan after her dad died but she knew she was an outsider they took pity on. Her primary contact with them (aside from Angelo and Jorge) was on social media when holidays or other fiestas weren't going on.

They weren't hers. Angelo was simply letting her borrow them so she wouldn't be alone.

She appreciated that more than she could say but it was different than having her own family. Being welcomed into the fold of the Slater family was different too. They would only be hers as long as she was with Christian.

She had plenty of family and people to love her but they were all through someone else. Anyone connected to her alone was long gone.

The only way she would ever have more than borrowed family was if she had kids. Which wasn't a possibility any time soon because of the secrets between her and her future husband that could destroy everything. She knew it wasn't a good idea so she had gotten a birth control prescription as soon as she and Christian started dating more seriously.

Avery wanted nothing more than to have a real family again with him but that wasn't an option right now. She had too many other things to worry about. Like getting through the month of January without any incidents.

Her wedding was a week away and everything was taken care of aside from her last dress fitting and the bachelorette party. The former was happening currently. She had gone with Vanessa since they both had Sundays off and right now a consultant was walking around her with a critical eye.

"Have you lost weight?"

"…possibly," Avery confessed.

She had been very stressed the past few weeks and despite all of the holiday goodies she had overindulged on in November and December she had been busy and didn't have much of an appetite. She burned off a lot of calories doing that double insulin run a few weeks ago too.

"I'll have to take it in a little but that can be done by the end of the day. Come back tomorrow morning and it will be ready for you," the consultant reassured her.

Vanessa shook her head in disbelieving jealousy as soon as the consultant left. "What kind of crazy person loses weight over the holidays instead of gains it? I'm so jealous. I've been exercising like crazy so I don't look terrible in my bridesmaid dress."

Avery laughed. "You could never look terrible in anything, Ness."

The bridesmaid dresses were one-shoulder lavender chiffon floor-length gowns with a waistband separating the bodice and skirt. Her other wedding color was pastel blue and the groomsmen would be wearing ties and pocket squares that matched. So would Angelo since he was a part of the wedding party by walking her down the aisle.

Sofia and Hector had their own lavender and pastel blue outfits respectively as flower girl and ringbearer and Nancy and Brian had matched the theme as well for the sake of family pictures. Everyone else could wear what they wanted.

"Whatever. I just wish I had managed to find myself a date. It's kind of too late now," Vanessa lamented.

"There's always Angelo," Avery joked. "He'll be there anyway so I'm sure he'd be willing to dance with you if you asked."

"…can he even dance?"

"I forgot you haven't met most of his family. They love to party. He kind of had to learn how to dance at a young age. But if you'd rather hope one of Christian's groomsmen dances with you I can put in a good word. I haven't met them yet but they're flying in for the bachelor party in a few days."

Vanessa mulled this over. "Hmm. Embarrass myself with an out of towner or potentially fall madly in love with them only for them to leave or dance with a computer geek I would have to see can dance to believe it. I'll have to think about it."

Avery laughed again. "Your call. I was just offering suggestions. And hey, there's always Liam."

"That guy?! No offense, but your brother-in-law-to-be is something else."

"None taken. Even Christian would agree with that."

Vanessa had gone on a double date with Liam, Avery, and Christian once and he had made quite an impression on her. If Avery knew her best friend she clearly thought Liam was a total clown but was too polite to say so.

Honestly, it was a fair assessment. If Liam wanted to get himself a date in the future he might not want to double with Christian. He spent a good chunk of the time harassing him as usual. The temptation must have been too much to resist. Brothers would be brothers no matter what.

"I'm sure he would agree with that more than most," Vanessa snorted. "Even my brother isn't THAT bad."

Her brother was three years older than her and lived in Rochester with most of her family. She had been the big city dreamer who wanted to come here for culinary school then never left. She claimed this was for the best since he lived to annoy her.

"Big talk," Avery said with a raised eyebrow, trying to stifle another laugh.

Liam really wasn't so terrible. He kept things interesting. And it was nice to get constant compliments about her food when he came around.

"What can I say? I know annoying when I see it. Christian's mom must be a saint. And it seems like she really likes you so that's good, right? I've heard a lot of mother-in-law horror stories."

So had Avery. But Nancy adored her. They filled a sort of void for each other since one lacked a mother and the other lacked a daughter. All of the Slaters liked her but Nancy probably did the most. Having a mother figure around was unfamiliar since she went most of her life without one but she couldn't deny it was growing on her.

Avery smiled. "Yeah. Nancy is the best."

"I can only hope I get such a great mother-in-law someday. My sister's is atrocious," Vanessa said with a shudder.

She had heard the stories. Poor thing had it rough, especially since her mother-in-law lived less than an hour away and she had to interact with her on a regular basis. She must really love her husband to be able to put up with that.

"…I don't think it get much worse than your sister's. The bar for beating that out is very low."

"True. So do you feel ready to get married?"

The question hit Avery hard. She wasn't sure. This had never been in her plans until she felt cornered. It wasn't supposed to come this far but since it had she needed to see it through to the potentially bitter end.

"As ready as I can be," she hedged. "I know Christian loves me but I still don't want to end up like my dad."

Left behind by the one they loved. In Levi's case, it was because of the selfish ambitions of his wife. In Avery's, it would happen if her fiancé found out she was his nemesis and had approached him knowing that. It was her biggest fear.

She wasn't afraid of death or injury. As long as the suit was activated she was safe. She feared losing people because she had already lost too many.

Vanessa hugged her tightly. "You won't! He's nuts about you! I've never seen a man so in love."

That was the problem. Christian loved her but only the pretty part. The part she had let him see. He would feel all the more betrayed for it if he found out the truth but she was in too deep now to do anything about it but pray her horrible secret was never discovered and that she could learn to live with her conscience.

Avery had known this was a bad idea from the start. Agreeing to go out on a second date because she was fairly sure he was Mercury but couldn't prove it had been mental gymnastics on her part. Being almost positive of who he was but justifying it as dating just anyone because she hadn't been 100% sure was peak villain territory. She never would have anticipated it going this far though. Now she was stuck.

Afraid to move forward but unable to go back. She let herself get swept along by the insanity and now she was actually about to marry someone who both loved and hated her without even realizing it.