Purple Dawn Till Dusk : Dearest Through The Time Chapter 446
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The rays of morning sun made its way on Senja's face, urging her to wake up.
She indeed awake, with grunted under her breath as she felt her head throbbing in pain. The blanket fell from her body when she tried to sit up, only then she realized that she wasn't sleeping on the couch.
She startled and snapped her head to her left side and there she saw Xiao Tianyao was sitting on the wooden chair. His face was stoic as ever, a little bit cold for her like.
"How long have you been sitting there?" Senja asked with raspy voice.
It was supposed to be her who wanted to wait until Xiao Tianyao awake, but in reality, apparently it was the other way around.
Xiao Tianyao didn't answer her question and stood up to walk away from the room, Senja wanted to chase after him, but when she put got off of the bed, Xiao Tianyao came back with a glass of water.
Wordlessly, he gave the glass to Senja and sat back on the wooden chair, sheepishly Senja drank the water and sat on the edge of the bed.
Silence around them.
No one tried to break it and Senja was too comfortable playing with her empty glass.
"I have another meeting to attend thirty minutes from now." Xiao Tianyao informed her.
In the other hand, he wanted to say if there was something that she wanted to talk about she needed to talk about it right now, because he was running out of time. At least that was Senja's own interpretation from his words.
The true meaning wouldn't be far from that.
"How do you feel now?" Senja asked him abruptly.
She needed to bring up this discussion sooner or later and she knew that she needed to be the one who have to confront it.
"You know how I feel." Xiao Tianyao answered her tersely and it sounded harsher than he intended to. His insecurities rose again. "How do you feel?"
Senja lifted up her face and looked at him right in the eyes when she answered him. "Tired…" She said truthfully.
She was tired literary and also with the uncertainty that gnawed her heart. She wanted to make all of this clear, so she could take another step forward.
However, her answered made Xiao Tianyao froze as his eyes hardened. He interpreted it differently.
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"Are you tired of me?" His heart sunk when he said it. "I know it…" He mumbled.
"What? No…" Senja denied it directly. "That is not what I mean…"
"That exactly what you meant." Xiao Tianyao insisted as his tone became harsh.
He didn't want to fight with her again, he didn't want to yell at her again, but the anger that bubbling up in his throat was forcing its way to show up.
"After all you had seen, it is very impossible if you are fine." He snapped at her.
Only then, Senja realized what Xiao Tianyao meant. "It was terrible memory indeed." Senja confirmed it and Xiao Tianyao scoffed at her statement. "But, it wasn't you. You are under hypnotized."
"Your reason didn't hold the water." Xiao Tianyao had come up with the same excuses many times, but couldn't justify himself that he was guilty free just because he was under hypnotized.
Senja closed her eyes. She was really tired and didn't want to argue with him, she wanted to know about their relationship or found any reason for her to stay.
Now, since she had knew where Yun whereabouts, the way for her to get home was only miles distance away. If he still treated her coldly then she didn't have a reason to stay.
"You have to let me help you Tianyao… It is not the right way to face it." Senja said it tiredly. "Let's face it together…"
"Together?" Xiao Tianyao interjected coldly as he narrowed his eyes. "You weren't even there when that tragedy was happening. So, why do you want to face it with me? Are you feeling sorry for me?"
Senja opened her eyes and they were burning with fury. She knew that she have to calm down when she faced him, he was in denial. He shoved away everyone who cared about him and misinterpreted it as a pity.
"Goddamn it Tianyao." She cursed right in front of his face, well it wasn't like this was the first time. "I don't feel sorry for you for what you had done, but I do feel sorry for you in the way you handle yourself." Senja was furious now.
And that was all it took to ignite the anger inside him that he had been trying to distinguish with no avail. He needed an outlet to vent out his anger, because recently every people who met him were acting excessively polite and understanding. They talk very slow and even didn't raise their voice.
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"Do you think I will be fine after all the horrible things that I did? I will just laughing, brush it away and move forward!?" He snarled.
Senja gritted her teeth as she stood up and crossed her arms. She stared down at Xiao Tianyao.
"I never said that!" She bit back. "But, to avoid me is that solve your problem?!"
"By not avoiding you, can you solve my problem?"
Senja clicked her tongue annoyingly. He gave her a hard time now. "Of course not! That is your problem bullhead! Only you who could fix it!"
"Then it won't make any difference whether you are here or not!" He snapped back.
That's it. That was all that Senja needed to know.
People said, don't talk when you were angry, but sometime the truth was spoken along with anger.
Senja stopped to argue as she sat back at the bed. She didn't say anything afterward.
Meanwhile, Xiao Tianyao regretted the moment he said it. He didn't mean it that way, but apparently Senja had taken the worst way to interpret it.
After a moment of silence, Xiao Tianyao opened asked her, with softer tone. "What are you going to talk to me last night?"
Senja didn't even raise her head and kept her eyes on her fingers. "I know Yun's whereabouts. I think it's the time for me to go home."
There was a howling pain in her heart when she said those words, but she ignored it.
If there wasn't any difference if she stay, then maybe went home wasn't a bad idea. Returned to her family and her brothers, did their mission.
"I will come with you, but not now." Xiao Tianyao said. He couldn't go anywhere now when the war would began in the matters of days.
"I don't ask you to come with me, I informed you about this." Senja said firmly.
Xiao Tianyao frowned. "What is that mean?" Somehow, he knew the answer.
"I will leave alone." This time Senja raised her head and there was determination in her eyes.
"You leave me?" He reiterated.
"Yes." She nodded to emphasize her meaning.
The idea of Senja was leaving filled him with dread, it snapped something inside him. "No. you will not go anywhere!" Xiao Tianyao stood up abruptly. Anger was dancing in his eyes again.
"I will go, Tianyao. And I don't need your permission." Senja stood up to show how serious she was.
Senja was about to walk to the doors when Xiao Tianyao whisked her and shoved her back to the bed. She felt on the mattress with her back.
"What are you doing!?" She yelled at him. She had had enough with the way he treated her these past days.
She loved him, but she wanted some respect as well.
"YANG YU!" Xiao Tianyao roared while his eyes were still on Senja. He glared at her, like the way she was glaring back at him.
Within seconds, Yang Yu was there, bowing his head, ready to receive his command.
"Don't let her get out of this room even if it's only a step!" Xiao Tianyao was furious. He knew how stubborn his woman and how slick she was. "Bring another Crescent Moon Member to guard this room."
Yang Yu befuddled, one time his master didn't want Senja near him, but now he wanted to lock her up. Regardless, he still agreed with it and ran outside to gather another Crescent Moon Member.
Like Xiao Tianyao, he also aware how cunning this woman. She managed to enter his master room couple of time in the past without him knowing it. Last time was another example. Thus, he took this order seriously.
Inside the room, Xiao Tianyao and Senja were still glaring at each other.
"Stay." He said. "I have to attend the meeting. We will talk about this later."
Xiao Tianyao was about to leave the room when he heard Senja spoke leisurely that made him froze.
"Do you think merely guards can lock me up? don't you think you are belittling me?." Senja snickered, she saw Xiao Tianyao's expression turned rigid when he turned around to face her.
"I had tricked them and got away from them couple of times in the past, do you think I can't do it now?"
Senja gave him her harmless smile when she added. "Think again."
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