THE NEXT EVENING, AFTER a great dinner and fantastic sex, we are lying in Danny's bed. "Why did you punch Rob?" she asks out of nowhere. Rob is Dick-face, and I don't like her even saying his name. I fight for control because I'm behaving like an idiot.

I'm not sure how to explain it. Explaining feelings for guys is like having your fingernails pulled out by the roots. Danny deserves the truth, though. "I'm jealous. Hell, I was jealous back when you dated him. That night, the night I punched him, you wouldn't speak to me, and had sidestepped all my plans to get back into your good graces. When he opened the door, I lost it." This next part is seriously hard to say, but I bite the bullet, "I owe him an apology."

This revelation is met with silence for several long minutes. When she replies, her voice is lower than usual. "Do you have any idea how I felt each time you left the tavern with a different woman?"

I slide my arms from around her and roll, so we're facing each other. The hurt in her eyes is a physical punch to my gut. "I can't take them back, Danny girl. I'm sorry."

Danny places her hand over my heart. "I didn't leave here after college, because I was waiting for you to notice me."

"College?"

She nods slightly. "I thought you hated me," is all I can think of to say.

She smiles and kisses my skin right above her hand. "No. I just didn't want to be another notch on your bedpost."

A thought occurs to me. "Why were you always finding women for me to go home with?"

The hurt deepens in her eyes and they go darker. "None of them were your type, and I was afraid you would find someone who was. Those women were safe."

She's had me figured out for a long time. "What's my type, Danny girl?"

Now she gives me the smile I've been waiting for. "I am, lover boy, and don't you ever forget it."

About an hour later, I ask Danny to spend the night with me on Christmas Eve. A look comes over her facesadness mixed with sweet.

"I can stay the night, but I have plans for Christmas Day," she tells me. She kisses my jaw and her voice goes softer, "You can come with me if you want."

I'm disappointed and know I should have asked her sooner. I just wanted everything to be perfect. "I don't want to intrude with your friends. Don't worry about it; I'll take you for Christmas Eve and go to my brother's for dinner on Christmas." This, too, is a big step for me, and I know it would make Cami and Joel happy.

"I drive to the city to a homeless kitchen to help out. I've done it since college. Believe me; they won't mind an extra hand."

Fuck me. That's what she did last year. I squeeze her tightly against me. I am a thousand kinds of fool for all the time I've lost. Danny's heart is as big as the ocean, and I shouldn't have waited to feel her waves.

***

The skies are clear the day before Christmas Eve. I worked my ass off all week. The Slam office is closed until next week, so it gives me the opportunity to get everything done. Joel comes by the house while I'm hard at work on one of the front trees. I expected him at some point today. He has a strange look on his face, and I understand why, but I'm not ready to talk about it.

He doesn't push it. "I came by to invite you to Christmas dinner."

I climb off the ladder and face my brother. He looks up into the tree and smiles. "Danny and I will be there at four. We have something to do before that."

Joel grabs my arm and pulls me into a quick, surprise hug. Neither of us says anything more. He gets into his truck, and leaves.

The next day, Danny comes in at a little after two in the afternoon. She's carrying a huge plastic container, which she takes straight to the kitchen. She's dressed in the standard jeans, tee, and jacket that I've become so fond of. Her hair is down because she knows how fond I am of removing the bands from her ponytail and fluffing her hair out. "Can you grab my bag out of the front seat of the truck?" she asks.

I head out and grab her bag. There is a large cardboard box in the back. Danny opens the back truck door before I can, and grabs the box. "They're gifts," she tells me.

It's cold outside, so we hustle in, and she places the box beside the front door. I head up the stairs with her bag. "Come on; I have something to show you."

"Your etchings," she laughs.

"You get to see my etchings later. We have a lot to do right now. Keep your jacket on."

She follows me. I rest her bag on the bed and take her hand, pulling her along behind me as I head to the end of the hall. I open the door and precede her up the narrow attic stairs. Light streams through the small window at the end of the room, and it's enough so she can see everything.

"This is where Christmas lived all year long at our house. My mother collected more decorations every year. I'd like to decorate, if you'll help me."

Danny's hands circle my waist and she rests her head against my back. I cleaned the room from top to bottom, and sorted through boxes of decorations yesterday after I finished outside. I wanted Danny to help me decorate, so I left the boxes I wanted toward the front, and what we wouldn't need, toward the back. Danny's fingers are holding tightly to my shirt. I look down at her fingers, and remember thinking a few weeks ago that I didn't think they were sexy. How fucking wrong I was. I take her hands and turn. My fingers go to the zipper of her jacket. It's cold up here, but she doesn't protest as I lower the zipper and help her shrug the jacket off. My fingers move to her waist and I undo her jeans as her fingers work my jeans, too.

Her jacket and our pants and underwear are under us when I take her down to the hardwood floor, so her back is cushioned. I kiss her with all the feelings I've held inside me for a long time. Her taste and scent wrap around me, and break open the part of me I've been holding back for yearsthe part that says men can't care, or feel, or love. Even though I thought I loved Cami, it doesn't come close to what I feel for Danny.

One of my hands goes beneath her shirt. I cup her breast after I push her bra out of the way. With the other hand, I lift up. She holds my erection, guiding me true as I thrust my hips.

I bury myself deep and pepper kisses over her eyes and cheeks and lips. She opens her eyes and gazes into mine.

"I love you, Van," she says. I knew she did, but hearing it is something else entirely. It doesn't matter that women have told me this before. This is Danny.

Our lips meet and I pump my hips, slamming into hermelding our bodies into one. I swallow her cries. I'm not gentle. I can't be right now. Her nails dig into my shoulders as her body tightens around me.

She twists her head and dislodges our kiss. "Van," she cries into the room.

It's the sexiest sound I've ever heard.

"Come for me, Danny girl." My voice is ragged.

She lets go.

I let go.