I made it through the crowd at the stadium and found my seat. Green shirts surrounded me, but a few rows back red covered a larger section. I was glad I didn't recognize anyone. Van made coming here easier, but I knew the gossip spread about me was nothing good. The excitement today was at a higher level than the previous matches. Television crews were here. Van mentioned ESPN was televising the match on one of their many stations. For U.S. Rugby League, this was the main event.

I jumped up and down at the first kick when Van caught the ball and started the attack down field. After their fifth tackle, The Slam ended up with a one-point drop goal. Seattle's team, The Tide, came back with a try and successful conversion totaling six points.

No one in the stadium stayed in their seats for long. The intensity of the match was brutal. Van didn't get up for several minutes after a particularly nasty hit, but Joel finally helped him gain his feet and they resumed play. At the half, The Slam was down by three. I bought water from a vender walking down the aisle, refusing to stand in line and miss any play. The wave came around and I yelled along with everyone else. I barely remembered my feelings of idiocy at the first match I attended. I was a die-hard fan now.

Play resumed and ten minutes into the second half The Slam scored a try, taking them up by one. Quibly kicked the conversion and added another two points. The Tide came back with a try and we were down again.

The Slam had to win.

I yelled until my voice was hoarse and then yelled some more. With two minutes of play remaining, The Slam was still behind. Joel made an awesome pass and received a late tackle. Joel, as team captain, decided on six tackles for a try instead of taking a penalty kick. This meant their tackle count, which is limited to six, starts over. A try and conversion kick would put them in the lead. I could see Joel yelling and players scrambling. I knew they practiced for these situations, but until the play continued it was hard to make out their formation. DJ fell back and caught the first pass. He threw it to Joel, who charged for the goal. Several players were coming at him, and at the last minute, he tossed the ball back to Van. One of the opposing players almost stopped the attack, but Van jumped up and forward, grounding the ball on the try line.

My voice croaked no matter how loud I tried to scream. "Slam, Slam, Slam." The fans were going crazy. Twenty-six seconds later, the final whistle blew. The Slam were the U.S. Rugby League champions.

The man next to me patted my back. "Great game," he said with a smile.

I grinned from ear to ear. "Thanks, that was a great game."

I'd taken a taxi to the stadium and knew it would be awhile before I could catch one back to the hotel. I checked my cell. There was a text from Charlie.

Charlie: Van says you're coming to the party. Meet me and Stub out front and grab a ride with us.

I did a short happy dance unable to hold in all my feelings.

Me: On my way

Charlie and Stub wrapped me in huge hugs when I saw them. "What a game," Stub said after Charlie put me down.

"I've missed you both so much." I had. Yes, I had friends at my job now, but Charlie and Stub were more than friends. I felt entirely at home with them. They made me feel part of their family.

Charlie drove his rental car while Stub grilled me with questions. I told them all about my promotion, my new co-workers, and my plans for the future. The same plans I'd dreamed of for years.

"So Van isn't in your future?" Stub asked softly.

They deserved the truth. "Van was never in my future. We're friends, though I doubt his brother will ever believe that." I knew he wouldn't. He heard I loved Van. The fact that I put a disclaimer on the statement by saying "a little bit" was beside the point.

The bar was only a short distance away. We beat the bus by thirty minutes, and my nervousness grew.

"We'll talk later," Stub whispered to me when we got out of the car.

I suddenly remembered something I had wanted to ask Stub. "How did you get your nickname?"

She laughed. "Charlie must have mentioned something because everyone thinks it's my size." She gave Charlie a low growl, but he just raised his hands.

"I don't mind telling her," he said with a big grin.

"Don't you dare." She gave him a loving push and turned back to me. "I had a serious boyfriend before Charlie. I thought he was the one. Charlie felt differently and kept pursuing me. Really, he drove me crazy. Al, the not so love of my life, wasn't happy with Charlie's flowers, cards, and gifts, so he tried to do Charlie one better. Frank Criswald owned the paper back then, and Al took out a full-page ad asking me to marry him. Al called me Stace. In the ad, there was a sappy love poem followed by 'Stub, will you be my wife? I love you, Al.'"

Charlie broke in, "The idiot got his proposal wrong. How could I possibly let her marry that douche?"

"Charles Larry Woodrow you will not call my ex-boyfriend a douche. He was a nice man."

I was laughing full out now. These two were meant for each other. "When you're not around, I'll ask Charlie for his side of the story. I just don't understand how you could miss-type Stub for Stace."

"Did I mention I worked summers for the paper?" Charlie asked with a wink.

Priceless.

Pitchers of beer waited inside the bar for The Slam. "I don't see green shirts here yet," I said after I sat down at a middle table with Charlie and Stub.

"We rented the bar for the night. Seattle's team is at a different one. We don't play them through the year, so we don't know them too well. This is the championship and as much as rugby is a friendly sport, this is our celebration."

No one touched the beer while we waited for the team. I ordered some fries because I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I drank two full glasses of water too. I didn't see myself getting out of the night without drinking. The bar was close enough to walk to my hotel, so I didn't worry about who would drive. Charlie and Stub were staying at the same hotel as The Slam. The roar went up when Van entered with the team.

"Slam, Slam, Slam," I yelled in my croaky voice. Joel was the last one in the bar. His grin had my heart fluttering. He didn't see me because there were tons of people congratulating him. Van found me first and pulled me in for a big lip smack. I was laughing as I pulled away, still in his arms. I pushed him back slightly and saw Joel staring at me. There was no longer hurt in his eyes. Joel was angry. I could read it in every line of his face. His clenched jaw made his scar more pronounced. I wiggled out of Van's embrace and headed to Joel as someone shoved a glass of beer into his hand.

Joel didn't move. It was so loud in the bar, and my throat hurt from yelling so much. When I was about two feet away, someone accidently shoved me from behind and I was pushed against Joel's chest. God he smelled good. Another push and Joel used his free arm to steady me.

"Please give me a chance to explain," I whispered into Joel's ear.

He sat his full glass down on a table and took my hand without meeting my eyes. He pulled me out the front door and over to the bus, which was parked to the side of the bar. I thought we were going inside, but he stopped me and backed me up to the side of the bus. The cool metal sank through my thin t-shirt. I shivered, but it was more because Joel's chest was hot and pressed against my breasts. His hand came up and pulled a strand of hair from my face. I wanted to melt into his eyes and swim in his soul. I loved him so much. I started to tell him, but his lips stopped me.

He kissed me with all the desperation I feltthe longing to never leave his arms and the desire to become one person. Or at least that's what I thought until he pulled away.

He twirled my hair between his fingers, giving it that little tug I remembered. "Tell me, Cami, did my brother fuck you last night?" His voice was hard and filled with all the anger I'd seen earlier.

Ice water was more welcome than the look in his eyes. "Joel."

"No, just answer the question."

"He came to my room, but-"

He placed a finger against my lips. His voice dropped to a husky whisper. "You fuck us both, but what you really want is to fuck us over. You can have him. The two of you deserve each other. Stay the fuck away from me."

I had a death grip on his shirt. I couldn't speak because I didn't know what to say. He uncurled my fingers and walked away. My hands dropped to my sides. I realized a few seconds later that I was hyperventilating and feeling dizzy. I consciously slowed my breathing. There was no way Van would do this to me. Would he? I had to get away from them both. Leave them in peace and find some of my own. I thought I accepted that I would never be with Joel, but seeing him brought back all the loneliness that was my life. Now it was truly over and my nothing life came crashing down. I stumbled to my hotel and had the desk clerk call me a cab. It took five minutes to throw my things in my bag. The cab was waiting downstairs having just dropped someone at a nearby hotel. I sent Stub a short text as soon as we were on the main roadway.

Me: Sorry I couldn't stay. Thank you for everything you and Charlie have done for me. I will never forget you.

I shut my phone off and closed my eyes. I refused to cry until I was home in my bed. I was too numb to think, and I don't remember anything until I got to the airport. I had to wait for the redeye flight. I hid in the back corner of Starbucks until right before my plane took off. It was stupid, but I was afraid Charlie and Stub or, God forbid, Van would somehow make it past security and confront me.

Cami the runner. Not wild Cami or new Camiwrap my tail between my legs and leave Cami. I needed vodka, so I ordered some on the plane. It didn't go well with French fries and coffee, so I stopped at one.

By the time the plane landed, I had a splitting headache. It was four in the morning before I got home and fell into my bed too tired to think of anything but sleep. I slept until noon, took a few ibuprofens, and typed up the addition to my final article about rugby. I emailed it to Miller and knew I was finished with everything to do with sports.

Still no tears.